


Everything is Better, Part Five

by CeleryLapel



Series: Everything is Better the Second Time Around [5]
Category: Community (TV)
Genre: AU, Baby Fic, Dad!Jeff, F/M, Family, Fluff, Kid Fic, Language, Lawyer!Jeff, Mild Smut, Romance, and major fan service, major fluff alert, this might be sickeningly sweet
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-10
Updated: 2019-05-16
Packaged: 2019-05-20 07:17:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 28
Words: 163,738
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14890050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CeleryLapel/pseuds/CeleryLapel
Summary: This is a continuation of the series, "Everything is Better the Second Time Around."If Annie Edison had a child before she entered Greendale and how this situation might have shaped her and Jeff's relationship.Part Five begins after a small time jump, end of season four.





	1. The Art of Anticipation

**Author's Note:**

> As promised, here is Chapter 1 of Part 5. Thank you, dear readers, for following along and for providing feedback, ideas, and encouragement along the way.
> 
> Chapter Summary: Jeff doesn't like waiting for things.
> 
> Disclaimer: Community and its original characters are the creation of Dan Harmon.

“So the semester has really flown by, Jeff. Wow, I can’t believe you’re almost done with Greendale and that no major events have happened since Sophie’s adoption day.”

Jeff nodded absentmindedly as he cradled his landline and listened to Abed. As usual, he had no idea why they were having this conversation.

He remarked, “That is fascinating, but I have to go.”

“No problem.”

He clicked off the phone and placed it on the counter. He then began to putter about the kitchen, opening and closing the fridge perhaps more than necessary, peering into the cupboards to make sure they had enough mac n cheese for the week, and checking the condition of the bananas on the countertop.

Yellow but not too yellow. Probably would last through the weekend.

He supposed there was no reason to go to the grocery store, as it was Wednesday and they were on spring break, but his brain was buzzing. He could use a good drive. And he supposed although they had stopped by the store this past weekend at Annie’s insistence that they get a jump on things so that they could have a lot of _family time_ , he could maybe pick up some protein bars. He opened up a drawer and spied a pack of eight.

Okay, maybe not.

Only seven more weeks until his graduation. He had nothing to feel nervous about. Sure, he had kept telling the general student body he couldn’t wait until he left the halls of Greendale, but he and Annie both knew he was more than a little terrified. He and Mark had been busy setting up things for their practice, but they understandably couldn’t quite be out in the open about everything yet. After May 23rdthings would likely be moving rapidly.

Eh, he could probably handle that part. It was the anticipation that was driving him nuts. He never did like to wait for things.

He attempted to push other thoughts from his mind, the thoughts that were the more disturbing for him than the law practice part. He knew he could be a lawyer. It was something of which he was certain.

It was the other thing.

It was now April 3rd.

He sighed and hunched over on the counter, cradling his forehead in his hands.

_“Hi, Daddy! What you do-ing?”_

He felt the warmth spread through his chest and then travel to his cheeks. He realized shouldn’t have gotten so far into his head. His daughter could always cheer him up.

The munchkin was amazing. He remembered his therapist’s advice from their recent session. Yes, he’d make an effort to be grateful for what they had and for these precious moments.

He lifted his head to reveal his smile, and then was not at all surprised when he couldn’t see her. He stood fully and walked over to the side of the counter to spot her attempting to climb up one of the counter stools. He crouched down and picked her up, once again marveling at her lightness. She would be four this summer, but she wasn’t really that close to being out of her car seat. Dr. Rich said she needed to be forty pounds before she could be in a booster seat, and he doubted that would happen for a while.

It would have been a pain to have two baby car seats anyway. 

Everything was fine.

He kissed her under her ear and as she giggled he said, “I’m so happy to see you. I thought you were playing with Mommy.”

Sophie’s eyes widened and she replied in all earnestness, _“We pway-ed und now we don-ed. Mama say go get YOU!”_ With that, she smacked his chest and started squealing, clearly taken with her cleverness.

He continued to smirk and said, “Well you found me.” He walked down the hall with her, entering the master bedroom to find Annie on the bed cross-legged and looking mighty pleased with herself. In response to her preening expression, he remarked, “Why, look who got the canary.”

She rubbed her hands together, which he found pretty comical and strangely arousing. She half-squeaked, “Jeff! I just got off the phone with your mom, and she says she’d love to watch Sophie tonight!”

His chest tightened, and he found himself pulling Sophie closer to his shoulder almost protectively. He hesitated and then asked, “I thought this was family time?”

He looked at her pointedly, knowing she’d know what he meant.

Her expression faltered somewhat, and she bit her lip as she said, “I just thought. Jeff, I’m….”

“We agreed to take this month off.”

She nodded slowly, her brow furrowed in the way it did when she was strategizing. He so did not want to be strategized about right now.

After a few months of frustration coupled with midterms, they had agreed that, although spring break fell during a potentially convenient time, they’d take the pressure off. They had been playing lots of mind-numbing Go Fish with Sophie, going to the playground, and after bedtime had been cuddling on the coach watching Rom Coms or Star Wars.

Annie of course had also been studying, but she was insane.

He smiled slightly, hoping she’d return to their plan. He hated disappointing her, but he needed a break.

She patted the area next to her, and he walked over and sat down, letting Sophie roll to the side in a fit of hysterics. As Annie smooshed Bear Winger into Sophie’s arms, she said with a light tone, “I know. We don’t have to work on that, Jeff.”

He eyed her suspiciously, and she let out a huff.

“I mean it! I was thinking we could have a romantic night out, go back to that place you took me on our first date.” She tilted her head and batted her lashes.

He said, “And finish it like we finished our first date?”

She shrugged. “Only if we wanted to. And it would just be for _fun_ , Jeff. You know, you could,” she glanced at Sophie and then whispered through gritted teeth, “ravish me because you wanted to you know. We don’t have to turn everything into a project.”

He responded in a low tone, pushing down some tingly feelings he had at the word _ravish_ ,  “Right, since when don’t you love a project?” He found himself inching a little closer, and it annoyed him. He was such a goner for her.

She smiled tightly and said, “I do love our project. I just don’t think you do. I’m sorry this has been so stressful.”

He closed his eyes and counted to five before reopening them and attempting to view her with gratitude.

She was his wife, and they were happy. Or at least they should be. God, sometimes he sucked.

“I’m sorry I’ve been such a grouch.”

“I love you.”

“I love you too.”

“So?...” She raised her brows expectantly, and he caved.

“We probably could use a date.”

_“Daddy, I wanna watcha movie.”_

 

X

X

X

After watching The Little Mermaid, they dropped off Sophie at Dorie’s, who winked at them and said she would keep her overnight. At Jeff’s skepticism that she could do so in the middle of the week, she hushed him and said she had worked everything out with her boss so she could take tomorrow morning off. Annie had eagerly handed her Sophie’s overnight bag and Ruffles’ leash, and when Jeff had started to say something about his mother being sure she could do this without getting into trouble at work, all of the ladies in his life groaned at him and he got with the program.

Right, date night. 

No big deal. He and Annie needed this. Just have some good food, perhaps some wine (but not too much), and laugh and relax. If they ended up doing other things, it wouldn’t have to be so heavy.

“Jeff?”

“Sorry?”

Annie was looking up at him with concern. She swallowed and then said, “We’re here.” She gestured up at the sign and smiled slightly.

Mario’s Italian Bistro

He suddenly felt pretty embarrassed. He’d been practicing the opposite of gratitude, the polar opposite of mindfulness. He smiled tightly and nodded as he remarked, “Right.” He then took a deep breath and held out the crook of his arm. Full of affected confidence that he knew would be more genuine in a minute or so, he said,

“Milady.”

Annie grinned up at him and accepted.

“Milord.”

 

X

X

“You look amazing.”

He smiled over at her, and she returned it, doing that little bouncy thing she did in her seat when she was feeling very pleased. She was clutching the menu but her eyes were roaming the establishment.

“Thank you. I thought you might recognize the dress.”

He took in the sight of it, knowing full well the significance. He couldn’t even muster up a smirk, his heart was aching with sincerity as he said, his face open with vulnerability, “I’ll never forget you in that. When you were walking up to me on the quad, you took my breath away.”

His voice had lowered several registers but had also softened. He locked eyes with her, and he could have sworn she was literally melting.

“Awww!” She then whispered, her breath catching as she said, “You look very handsome. You always have. My Jeffy.”

They regarded one another with admiration, and Jeff couldn’t help but feel that everything in his life was amazing. He had the best partner on the planet and he was here with her. There was nowhere else he’d rather be, and this moment was perfect.

“Jeff Winger?”

His head snapped up, and he spotted the notorious Mitchell Higgins. Goddamn it.

He flashed a smile and said, “Mitchell.” Casting a bemused look with Annie as they both noticed an impeccably dressed unknown blonde on his arm, he then added, “Funny running into you here again.”

Mitchell reached out and shook his hand, motioning for Jeff to remain seated. The whole thing was more than a bit condescending, but Jeff didn’t care. He was almost out of the law firm, and as long as no one got wind of his and Mark’s plans, everything would work out.

Which made him realize he probably should suck ass a little, for appearances sake. He cast another look at Annie, and knew she read his mind. He then said, “Mitchell, who is this lovely creature?” he indicated toward the blonde, who was now blushing a little as she took in the sight of Jeff.

He felt Annie’s foot on his, knowing she didn’t really like it when he flirted (or did she?). But this was necessary. He almost giddily added, “You, my lady, are looking gorgeous. Mitchell, you have excellent taste, and lady, this man you are with is a legal shark. I’m Jeff Winger, an mere lowly legal contractor at Mitchell’s firm.” He reached up and took her hand.

Annie’s foot pressed harder onto his ankle, and his rush of confidence was back.

The woman lightly laughed and said, “I’m Ainsley. So very nice to meet you.”

Mitchell regarded Annie for a moment longer than was polite and Jeff could tell it annoyed her. She glanced over at him and then plastered on her best Annie smile and rose slightly reaching out her hand toward Mitchell, who by now flustered a little as he stared at her chest and said, “Oh, right, Annie isn’t it?”

“Yes, we’ve met.” She turned toward Ainsley and said, her voice dripping with territorialness, “I’m Annie, Jeff’s _wife_.” She shook the blonde’s hand and then carefully sat back down fully, swishing her hips to the side just a little, which made Jeff readjust his belt slightly.

“Why, you two are stunning. Mitch, aren’t they a gorgeous couple?”

Mitchell cocked his head and said, “Yeah, they are.”

Annie piped in, “We have a gorgeous child too! Do you want to see a picture?”

Jeff closed his eyes for a moment and tried not to laugh. He was of course having flashbacks to their first date when Annie had tried to ingratiate herself with Mitchell and whats-her-name, Bonne? Barb? Yeah, Barb. But Mitchell had quickly shot that down, clear on them spending the nights separately and likely not having much use for mingling.

To Jeff’s almost horror, Ainsley was now making her way over to Annie’s side of the table and pulling up a chair. Mitchell shrugged but seemed bemused by the whole thing and promptly sat down next to Jeff.

Dammit.

Jeff turned toward him and let out a long breath. “Women.”

He caught Annie’s reproachful look, but he didn’t mind. She was the one who invited this mess, but in that moment he knew she was trying to help him. He gave her a soft smile and said, “Sorry. She is pretty adorable.”

“Of course she is, Jeff.” Annie affected a haughtiness and then resumed showing Ainsley some pictures.

As the oohs and awwws commenced on the other side of the table, Mitchell remarked, “You know, Winger, I’m glad you’ve stuck around.”

“Yeah?”

“When you’re done with your degree, there are strong rumors Ted’s got his eye on you for something special.”

“Oh, come on. Not after everything.”

Mitchell lowered his voice to an almost whisper, “Alan told me he kinda spilled the beans to you already, so you know that. It makes sense why you’re not trying to start over on our own, which let’s face it, is something that would be a complete disaster because we’d ruin your reputation in a hot minute if you tried anything like that.”

Jeff tried not to let his face betray anything. He knew Alan was pretty stupid when it came to interpersonal stuff and only accidentally landed on things once in awhile, but Mitchell was a different story. The guy certainly had more suave, and Jeff couldn’t tell if he was just messing with him or was feeling him out. Probably a combination of both.

He nodded and said, “That would be pretty insane. And a lot of work.” He flashed Mitchell a charismatic grin as he added in a whisper, “I like cute assistants and an expense account. Alan can suck it.”

Mitchell let out a whooping laugh, and Jeff relaxed somewhat.

“I knew you were my kind of guy, Winger! Continue to play your cards right with Ted, and we’re gonna have so much fun. Don’t worry, you’ll be able to keep your Missus in style. I’m sure she’ll love it.”

Jeff allowed Mitchell to pat him on the back and then cast a look over at Annie, whose eyes were dancing between him and Mitchell.

Touching her décolletage, she purred, “I love pretty things.”

 

X

X

Despite his best attempts, he ended up losing control the moment they returned to the Lexus.

Not that he really minded. Control was over-rated as a coping strategy anyway, wasn’t that what his therapist had said?

“God, Annie.” He mumbled the words into her cleavage as she hoisted her leg over his lap. She had insisted she drive them home, explaining she thought he had a little too much to drink, but he strongly suspected that was because she wanted to maneuver herself onto him with no steering wheel as an obstruction.

He didn’t really mind.

His hands when to her hips and then he dipped his left one lower so that he could shimmy it under her dress. As his fingers reached a tantalizingly moist area, he felt her body buck into his, and he knew they were doing this.

In the Lexus, and in the restaurant parking lot. It was probably pretty irresponsible, but hell.

“Jeeeffff.”

There was a loud knock on the passenger side window.

“Crap.”

 

X

X

After being given a warning for public indecency by a peeved looking Officer Cackowski, they high tailed it out of there. As Annie drove, she was flush with the thrill of it all, and her excitement only made Jeff hornier.

“I can’t believe you talked him out of issuing us a legal citation!” She let out the words almost breathlessly as she pressed more firmly down on the accelerator.

Jeff licked his lips and moved his hand to her thigh, liking the way she widened her legs slightly so that he could proceed with a little more freedom.

He said with an affected nonchalantness, “That’s how we roll, us Wingers. He didn’t have evidence of _indecency_ , as we were fully clothed. But still, better we go home.”

He felt her tense and then let out a soft sigh at his continued his maneuverings before she swatted at his hand, and he pulled it back.

She asked a little breathlessly, “Home?”

He whipped his head toward her and caught her mischievous gaze.

At his unspoken question, she said, “I have an idea.”

 

X

X

They pushed their way into the Biology lab, grabbing at each other as Jeff hoisted Annie to his chest. She deftly swiped the custodian’s badge so that the room would unlock, and he once again marveled at how they could have overlooked the perks that Annie being the Dean’s assistant offered them.

She was really hot when she stole things. Or, as she phrased it, _borrowed_. She had batted her lashes and said something about them missing out on Biology sex because of the damned yams.

Even the way she said _yams_ was making him hard, but that was probably not something to overanalyze at present.

So he didn’t, and they made their way onto Professor Kane’s demonstration table, which was luckily free from beakers and vials, as it was the middle of the night.

Jeff laid her down carefully on the table before covering his body with his. After kissing her relatively tenderly, he pulled back to see her smiling at him with lust.

He murmured, “This is a great idea.”

She nodded emphatically and pulled him down into another kiss.

 

X

X

Although not nearly as comfortable as their king-sized bed, Biology table sex was enjoyable in a whole other way. As Annie clenched and then shuddered above him, he finally let go, his mind completely free for the first time in weeks.

She held her position for a little while, pressing her forehead to his as he hunched his back to meet her halfway. He let his hand caress her sweaty spine, and he found himself letting out a soft laugh that she matched. She then rolled off him, and he held her for a perhaps more than a few minutes.

Finally, he asked, “I never know. How long is the appropriate time for spooning, Hector?”

He felt the swat from her far hand on his wrist and grinned, pulling her in a little tighter. He was so glad he had overcome his aversion to cuddling.

She slowly turned around and faced him, placing a kiss on his bare chest. “I love having Biology sex with you.”

He glanced up at the ceiling and marveled, “I never thought I’d be back in this room, minus failing the class, so I guess this surprised me.” He arched a brow and stared down at her, noticing she was meeting his gaze and beaming.

He added with a note of suspicion, “How long have you been thinking about this?”

“Ever since we were thwarted the first time. But I didn’t have access to the pass again until Carlos dropped it in the Dean’s office last week.”

He chuckled and pressed a kiss to her temple. “He hasn’t missed it in a week?”

She shrugged, and he pulled her into a front cuddle, taking a moment to nuzzle his head into her neck.

They then heard the sound of footsteps and scrambled for their clothes, which were strewn about the room.

 

X

X

Jeff shut the apartment door behind them and let out sigh. He wasn’t sure if it was relief or what, but he was definitely coming down from some adrenaline high, and it was pretty amazing. He hadn’t felt this since cocky and carefree since his trial days.

Who knew amazing and scandalous sex could be had with one’s wife?

God, he was damn lucky.

He stepped forward and confidently threw a laughing Annie over his shoulder so they could continue things in their own bedroom.

 

X

X

“How was your evening, dears?”

Jeff did his best to keep a neutral and breezy expression but was aware Annie’s eyes were bulging, and he squeezed her hand in an attempt to make her quit it before realizing his mother was full on blushing.

She added, “Oh, it was a nice night then?”

“Mom!”

Annie laughed a little too lightly and said with a swat at the air, “Oh, you know, it was! We had a great dinner, where we went on our first date! And we ran into one of Jeff’s coworkers! It was so much fun!”

He cringed as he heard the squeak in her voice, but then noticed his mother was clearly holding back a smile.

He glanced down at Ruffles, who had just trotted in and had a smattering of green goo on top of her head. He squinted and looked at his mom with a questioning gaze as Annie bent down to nuzzle Ruffles.

“You’re all green, sweetie.” Annie patted what seemed to be a sticky substance and lifted her head to regard Dorie.

Hank moseyed in and began licking Ruffles’ back.

Dorie explained, “Sophie will be very pleased to see you both. We made special cupcakes.”

“Mom, you know how she is with sugar…”

\--“Nonsense, Jeffrey. I’m not going to let her eat _all_ of them. We thought we could have some for breakfast, as a family.”

As they entered the kitchen, they were greeted by the sight of Sophie wearing her Chef’s hat and apron, standing on a chair and proudly gesturing toward a table full of bright green cupcakes. Hickey was seated next to her, and he was apparently attempting to stifle a laugh, his hand over his mouth, as Sophie announced,

_“Ta da, Mama! Ta da, Daddy! Dey all GWEEN!”_

“They look delicious, munchkin.”

 

 

 


	2. Neurobiology of Emotions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie has a rough day

Although she would have thought dropping off her daughter at daycare would be the hardest thing, Annie was finding that, the more Sophie readily ran off to play with her friends these days, leaving her dog was the most gut-wrenching.

Ruffles was staring at her and whining, her little furry head cocked to the side.

She had knelt down to bid goodbye and said, “Now sweetie, you’ll have such a good time with Ian. He tells us the students love you.”

Over by his desk, Ian piped in, “Just leave her with me. I have doggie treats.” He held up a small bone-shaped biscuit and waived it in the air.

Ruffles didn’t even turn around, the poor thing. She kept staring upward, her dark eyes growing larger and her ears bending just slightly.

“Oh, sweetie, your little ears.” Annie gently flipped the left one back into its normal position, but it once again fell forward.

“Oh!” She wiped the tear forming in her eye and bent down even further to nuzzle.

“Annie, we should go.”

She lifted her head sharply at Jeff’s voice and said, “We need a minute. Can’t you see she’s upset?”

“I think she senses _you’re_ upset.”

She scoffed. “I am not! I’m just responding to her. She’s been really clingy with me for the past few days. Maybe we shouldn’t leave her today.”

She heard Jeff’s groan, and she was kind of pissed off. He could affect his too-cool-for-school attitude all he wanted, but she knew he loved their precious little dog just as much as she did, perhaps even more so. She had spied him on more than one occasion indulging the cutie and definitely cuddling up with her.

“Annie, who is going to stay with her then? We both have class. It’s either drop her off here or we go back home and leave her at the apartment. Alone.”

She felt his words sink in, and it almost hurt her heart. As she pet Ruffles gingerly underneath her chin, she gulped down a surprising sob, and said, “You’ll be okay. Ian has treats!”

She mustered a bright smile, the one she had used on numerous occasions in the past when trying to convince herself of something. Her mother had taught her that trick, that if you willed something to be positive, you could make it so.

Problem was it didn’t always work, like when she crashed and burned in high school.

But no matter, now was different. She knew in her rational mind that Ruffles would be fine, just as she had been on the many other days she spent in Ian’s classroom. She knew Ian would take her on a little walk between classes and that she and Jeff could visit her at lunch and of course during History.

But the huge doggie eyes.

Ruffles had been following her around lately, softly pawing and licking her whenever she got the chance. She had even emerged from Sophie’s room earlier than usual in the evenings and plopped herself on her lap, annoying Jeff as he attempted to make a move on her as they sat on the couch.

Jeff was just jealous.

She turned to her side, noticing Jeff was crouched down next to her now and giving her a concerned look.

“What?”

He blinked slowly and then said as he took her free hand, “I know you’re worried about her. So am I.”

“Really?” She eyed him warily.

He shrugged. “She has been acting a little strange. But I think she will be fine today if we don’t prolong our good-byes.”

“But what if she’s trying to tell us something?”

“Well, I think we should just take her in to the vet for a check-up. We’ll schedule it as soon as we leave, okay?”

She felt some relief at his words, that he was taking this seriously. His plan made sense, as it had so far been useless attempting to guess with a nonverbal creature what was going on. She nodded and let him help her to her feet.

Ruffles whined once again and pawed her foot, but Jeff helped her tear herself away so they could begin their day.

 

X

X

X

“So I was saying to Troy, he doesn’t need to put up with that.”

Annie frowned as her brain finally caught up with Britta’s words. She had been more than a little preoccupied with her thoughts of her dog and attempting to fix some stray hairs as she looked in the ladies room mirror.

She remarked, “You should probably stay out of it. They have a special relationship.”

Britta scowled as she jumped up to sit (ewww) on the sink counter and said, “You wouldn’t be so breezy about it if you had to live with them. Having Troy come into your room at three am because Abed’s taking his role as Data a little too literally and not warming up to Tasha Yar is annoying.”

“Britta.”

“And they took one of my cats. Abed’s now calling Mister Walter Whiskers _Spot._ I had to almost fight him to get him back.”

Annie suddenly felt bad, as she knew how much Britta loved her pets. She tilted her head and surprisingly felt her lip tremble as she said, “I’m sorry. He’s your cat, and that’s terrible that Abed’s being so mean.”

Appearing slightly befuddled by Annie’s shift in tone, Britta eyed her with suspicion and said, “Well, my cat actually does seem to prefer hanging out with Abed, which is a little disturbing, but hey you can’t really tame a cat. They actually think they’re wild you know, they….” She trailed off as Annie began to sob. “Shit.”

Annie pushed off Britta’s awkward attempts to soothe her by patting her almost mechanically on the front of her shoulder, and felt pretty embarrassed, but she couldn’t help it. She managed to say through gulps, “I’m so worried about little Ruffles. I think something’s wrong with her, and she’s Sophie’s best friend, and if anything happened to her Sophie would be devastated.” She sniffled and readily accepted Britta’s outstretched wad of tissue as she added, “And I don’t think anyone’s taking this seriously, but Jeff…”

Britta interjected as she hopped down from the sink, “Oh, I know, that man probably isn’t in tune with pets. Seriously Annie, if you think something is wrong with Ruffles, I’ll help you. We can go get her right now and take her to see my vet.”

Annie had been looking down at the floor in her attempts to self-regulate, but she lifted her head to meet Britta’s eyes and said, “Really? Awww.”

Britta shrugged as she replied, “Well yeah. I know how much Ruffles means to you guys.” She suddenly stared at Annie and then added, “Um, here.” She pulled out her bag and produced a surprisingly large bottle of Visine.

Annie readily accepted it and was about to use it when Shirley pushed her way through the swinging door and startled at the sight of them.

“Why An-nie! What on earth is the matter?” She shuffled over to her and got within inches of her face. She studied her for a moment and carefully took the Visine out of her hands and handed it back to Britta. She said, “If you use that now, you won’t be able to cry it out.”

Britta squinted at her in annoyance. “I don’t think that’s how it works. And anyway, I was just trying to help her. She can’t go to class like that.”

Annie startled at Britta’s words and whipped herself around to regard herself in the mirror. To her surprise, her mascara had run down her cheeks and her eyes were bright red. She frowned. “I look terrible.”

She then realized Britta and Shirley were whispering behind her back. She caught snippets of their conversation as she attempted to wipe her face with a cold paper towel.

 “She’s worried about Ruffles.”

 “Please tell me you didn’t make it worse. What did you say to that poor girl?”

“You know what Shirley, you’re being rude. I’m getting much better at this Ladies Room talk you know. I had her in tears!”

“Dear lord in heaven!”

Annie, now feeling calmer, turned around and addressed them both, “I’ll be fine. I’m sorry I made such a scene.” She smiled sheepishly and motioned for the Visine. Britta handed it over and she threw back her head and allowed the drops to briefly sting her eyes.

As she lifted her head, she saw Shirley regarding her with concern.

She let out a huge sigh and said, “I’m fine, Shirley. Britta’s right, I’m worried about Ruffles, but Jeff already made an appointment with the vet for tomorrow, so I think everything will be okay.”

Britta groaned, “I said I’d take you there right now.”

Annie shook her head, feeling the wave of emotion subsiding. She knew she’d be a lot better before class.

It was important to be one’s best when going to class.

 

X

X

“This is stupid. We’re not going to add a turnip to the diorama.” Jeff pursed his lips and gave Pierce his best glare across the study table.

Pierce, who was standing and reaching over to place the twisted root vegetable onto the boat, giggled as he said, “It looks like a penis.”

The women collectively groaned and rolled their eyes, Abed stared blankly, and Troy and Jeff visibly cringed.

Jeff snapped to his feet and leaned across the table, grabbing hold of Pierce’s outstretched hand as he yelled, “This has to stop! This is our last diorama as a study group, and we are not doing this again!”

Annie decided she couldn’t take any more of this. Both Pierce and Jeff were getting on her nerves, as they had been bickering for twenty minutes.

She stood and shouted, “Stop it!”

Everyone turned to stare at her, just as they had when she had screamed about her missing purple pen. Sure, in retrospect that had been a little over the top, but this time was different.

Having their full attention, she puffed out her chest, which elicited a disapproving look from Shirley, whose eyes had been annoyingly fixated on her for the entire meeting. She had noticed but had decided to be the bigger person and ignore it. It was none of Shirley’s business how she dressed, and if she wanted to wear a scooped neck dress with a purple cardigan, then she could. Besides, she had buttoned it.

She glanced down and realized the middle buttons were undone. For a moment she felt internally apologetic to Shirley for having been staring at her, but then she became annoyed once again that she hadn’t told her. What about the sisterhood?

In an attempt to deflect as well as to return to her point, she said with as much confidence as she could muster, “Jeff’s right. This is our last diorama as a study group. Never again, will we all gather around this table together to work on a project. Don’t you guys see how special this time is? So let’s please not fight.” She addressed Pierce, “Please put away the turnip. It’ll spoil anyway if we put it in there. You don’t want it smelling bad now do you?” She puckered her nose as she added, “It smells yucky enough as it is. You probably shouldn’t eat it.”

“Um hmmm.”

She shot a side-glance at Shirley, who was now lightly tapping her bag and smiling at her. Confused, Annie addressed the group, “Anyway, I’ll be back in a few minutes, and when I return, you all better be more civilized.” She grabbed her backpack and started to make her way out.

Shirley jumped to her feet and said, “I’ll join you, An-nie!”

Britta started to rise, and Shirley gave her the stink eye, which led to her quickly acquiescing and plopping back down in her chair.

Annie allowed Shirley to follow her out, and as they rounded the corner, she turned to her and hissed, “You could have told me about my buttons.” She gestured down to her sweater and widened her eyes for emphasis.

Shirley patted her hand with almost an aura of pity and said with soft lilt, “I’m so sorry, honey. Can we talk?”

“I guess.”

They made their way to the ladies room. Once inside, Shirley uncharacteristically placed her large purse on the sink (ewww) and appeared about to say something, when Annie hurriedly said, “I um, actually have to go.” She indicated with her head toward a stall, and Shirley made a shooing motion with her hands.

“I’ll wait.”

“Thank you.”

Annie went into a stall and began to pee when she heard Shirley’s voice.

“You went right before the study group meeting.”

“Shirley, I don’t like talking while I’m in here.”

“Sorry, hon.”

She finished up and stepped out of the stall, walking over to the sink to wash her hands. Eyeing Shirley in the mirror, she asked, “Why are you tracking my bathroom visits?”

“I wasn’t really. It’s just you were in here only a half hour ago.”

Annie grabbed a paper towel and began to dry her hands, turning around to see Shirley regarding her with a tender expression. It certainly wasn’t what she was expecting, as it didn’t match how she wanted to feel about her. She was pretty irritated, but she couldn’t really understand why.

Maybe she just wanted some space. Shirley was pretty intrusive.

As if to illustrate the point, Shirley had now stepped closer and was buttoning up her sweater.

“Shirley!” Annie swatted at her, and Shirley merely chuckled as she finished and stepped back to regard her work.

With a raised brow, she remarked, “Now either that sweater got shrunk in the wash or your boobs are bigger.”

Annie looked down, noticing the buttons were puckering where normally they laid flat. She felt a waive of irritation again as she said, “Not that it’s any of your business, but I’m almost due with my period, and sometimes the girls swell a little right before, not this much usually, but still.” She glanced up at Shirley and once again widened her eyes for emphasis, in the hopes that she would knock it off.

Shirley let out a wearied sigh. “So you’re PMS-ing, is that it?”

Annie felt a sudden urge to smash something. She wondered how Shirley dared dismiss her feelings as hormonal. She was perfectly valid in feeling the way she did. Pierce and Jeff were being ridiculous, something was wrong with Ruffles, and they were almost done with the semester.

She suddenly felt a rush of fresh tears.

“Oh, hon.”

“We’re not going to be a study group anymore!” She began profusely sobbing, and as much as she had been irritated with Shirley, she readily accepted her offer of a warm hug.

As Shirley pet her hair, which did feel very soothing, she murmured, “It’s okay. I wanted to share the news later, but the Dean accepted my offer to run my sandwich shop on campus after graduation. Abed’s going to help me since I don’t think the poor boy is going to able to find any work. So you see, even though we’re graduating, we’ll still be here. You’ll see us every day.”

She had to admit this was good news, and she felt the warmth spread throughout her chest. Maybe things would be okay after all.

Annie mumbled into Shirley’s shoulder, “Really? That’s so great. I’m really happy for you. I would have missed you so much.”

Continuing to caress her hair, Shirley said in sing-songy voice, “I think we should get you a pregnancy test.”

Up to now feeling much calmer, although strangely still tearing up, Annie stilled. She of course had been pretty obsessed about taking pregnancy tests at the slightest indication she was late, but this time she had another day. And she and Jeff had agreed to wait a little bit before assuming, given the disappointments.

There was no way she could be having symptoms already.

Not that she was all that familiar with early pregnancy signs given last time she hadn’t even known she was pregnant. Sure she had been more emotional back then, but she had also been on drugs.

She gently pushed Shirley back and stared at her incredulously.

In response, Shirley smiled and said, “You’re an emotional wreck the likes I’ve never seen with you so PMS my ass, and you’ve been using the ladies at least every hour over the past few days, and you look so tired…’

Annie interjected, “Shirley, have you been studying me? And no way, I mean I could be, Jeff and I have been trying, but…” She grabbed her backpack, which she had safely placed on a wall hook, and whipped out her trusty planner.

Shirley clapped her hands together with glee. “You and Jeffrey have been trying? Why then I’m sure you’re pregnant!”

Annie shot her a look, feeling more than a little guilty Shirley was the only member of the study group who didn’t know, and as she continued to flip through her planner she explained, “We’ve been trying since our wedding, and Jeff’s been so frustrated, so we agreed I’d stop taking tests prematurely, and like I said I’m not due until tom…”

She faltered as she stared at the page, realizing in her efforts to take the pressure off, along with her preoccupation with the study group’s final days together, she had accidentally skipped a page.

A page was a whole week.

She was one week late.

Her eyes now widened genuinely and she lifted her head to see Shirley’s knowing expression. She took a deep breath and then said with her voice barely above a whisper, “I’m over a week late.”

“That would be about my guess.”

She couldn’t believe that she had been so distracted as to mess up this badly with the dates. She was usually on top of things, and up until recently she and Jeff had been more than a little vigilant about the weeks so as to know as soon as they possibly could. As startled and embarrassed as she felt in the moment, she was also aware that Jeff probably knew about the dates but had likely made the assumption that there was no news to tell. Ruffles had certainly been cock-blocking him enough over the past week, so they hadn’t really needed to address that point.

Poor Jeff was driving himself slowly insane with the whole thing.

But now, maybe everything would be better?

She felt her heart begin to flutter, and she managed, “I didn’t even know last time with Sophie.”

“Oh, hon.”

She thought about how different things were back then, and how she had felt in the weeks leading up to that shocking revelation as well as the moment she found out. It had been utter chaos, and she never would have thought her present state could be so different.

Taking a gulp, she elaborated, “I had been on drugs, and Adam dumped me, and I was a mess. I wasn’t thinking clearly, and it was a complete shock when they told me.” She sniffed a little as she recalled the moment the doctor shared the test results, and shirked internally at the memory of her mother’s judgmental reaction.

But this time was different. Her friend was standing with her, and she knew and was obviously excited.

Annie smiled, feeling a rush of happiness herself now that the shock was beginning to fade.

“Will you go with me? To get a test?”

“Of course, pumpkin.”

 

X

X

They texted the group they wouldn’t be returning, and Annie messaged Jeff privately to reassure him everything was fyne and she and Shirley were just discussing some stuff about Andre. She knew that would get him completely disinterested.

She didn’t want to tell him just yet, as part of her was guarded that she was in fact just a week late due to stress and experiencing intense PMS. She couldn’t bear to see his face if she had to tell him disappointing news again.

No, she’d find out first for sure.

(He’ll be so excited!)

She did a little hop as she and Shirley picked up a test and checked out from the Greendale pharmacy. Shirley muttered something about the white woman on the front of the box, and Annie shushed her as they giddily scurried back to the ladies room and Shirley jammed a bar of wood she found along the way into the doorframe so that no one could enter.

As one last check on reason before she entered the stall, she said to Shirley, “But I can’t be. Abed would know, right?”

Shirley rolled her eyes as she said sarcastically, “You mean how that boy knew I was pregnant with Ben?”

She smiled sheepishly. “Good point.”

She allowed Shirley to almost shove her into the stall. It was kind of exciting, this time taking a test, knowing a friend was rooting for her and would be able to help her handle it if it was negative. She was glad she wasn’t putting this on Jeff.

She finished up and gingerly walked out, holding the test flat between her hands so as not to disturb it. Shirley motioned her over to the sink, and she carefully set it down on the counter.

They set a timer for three minutes, and waited.

“I have been pretty drained, but I thought it was just stress. Maybe it is?” She waited anxiously for Shirley’s insights.

“I’ve had three kids. Fatigue is one of the very first signs, as is the boob thing. Plus you have a couple others, and you’re a _week_ late.”

“But if it’s negative?”

Shirley simply patted her arm in response, clearly firm in her belief. Her whole demeanor gave Annie hope, and she did her best to continue to focus on her breath as they waited.

They remained in anticipatory silence, and when the alarm sounded, Annie jumped.

“Oh, I can’t!”

With a huff on impatience, Shirley started to walk over to the sink, which gave Annie the rush of courage she needed and she got there first.

She picked up the test.

A plus sign.

She almost couldn’t believe it, but it was clear.

“Awww!” She smiled and held out the test to show Shirley but wasn’t really that surprised to find her already at her shoulder.

Shirley placed her arm around her and gave her a squeeze.

“That’s nice!”

 

x

x

They worked it out that Shirley would keep her mouth shut, which Annie actually believed she would do this time, given that Shirley seemed to readily grasp the inappropriateness of having anyone but Annie tell Jeff the good news. Part of Annie felt it was karmic how Shirley had been the first to know, given that she was the only one who hadn’t really known their plans.

God, Britta was going to kill her. She had promised her that she’d tell her before Shirley. But Shirley had been so kind and motherly. She was exactly the person she needed in those vulnerable moments. Not that Britta would have been unkind, but it would have been a more awkward and different kind of comfort.

She couldn’t stop herself from smiling, but feeling that she needed to dampen it a little so as not to throw Jeff off while they were at school, she made her best attempts to try to think of something distressing, such as Ruffles whining at her.

Poor little Ruffles. She was strongly suspecting that Ruffles had known. She had heard dogs sense these things, and her heart swelled at the thought of their sweet little doggie caring so much. She’d be so good with the baby.

There would be a baby soon. She wondered when exactly and made a mental note to internet research that. She had already made a doctor’s appointment, as she liked to be on top of things.

A baby.

She lightly placed her hand on her belly, and marveled at what was beginning to happen and what was to come. Her whole attitude this time, her frame of mind and place in life in fact, was very different. She was in a stable and healthy relationship, she was feeling good about herself, and she looked forward to the future.

Sophie was going to have a little brother or sister!

Jeff was going to experience what it was like to expect a baby and be there when they were born. She knew he’d be amazed and couldn’t wait to tell him.

But she had to wait, unfortunately. They were about to start History, and that certainly wasn’t the place to give him the news. She wanted them to have some privacy.

She’d have to wait until they got home. She let her hand move away from her belly and go to her backpack strap.

“What are you smiling about?”

She startled and looked up to see Jeff approaching her in the hallway near the History lecture hall, and she had to make active efforts to stop herself from blurting it out right then and there.

He was smirking at her, and she rolled her eyes as she closed the gap between them and rose on the balls of her feet to give him a kiss on the cheek.

As she descended, she said, “I’m just happy the study group is getting along again. Troy told me that you fixed everything. Thank you.”

He squinted down at her for a moment and then said, “Well, after you and Shirley decided not to come back, what choice did I have? We compromised and put the turnip under a concealed diorama floorboard. It’s there if Ian decides to get curious. Which, let’s face it, is highly unlikely to happen.”

He seemed fairly confident in that ridiculous decision, and it made him all the more adorable.

She affected a pout and said, “I’m sorry we left, but you know how Shirley gets. She wouldn’t leave me alone.”

She felt it wasn’t really a lie.

She looked up at him expectantly.

(Expectantly!)

He let out a long sigh, which reassured her that he wasn’t suspicious. He said, “Yeah, I know.” He then glanced toward the door of streaming students and said with reluctance, “I suppose we better get in there.”

She nodded and held out her arm.

“Milord.”

“Milady.”

(He was going to be so excited!)

 

 

 


	3. Advanced Communications

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie attempts to give Jeff good news

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know, I'm impatient, so here's two chapters this week! Enjoy!

Jeff hunched over the bathtub, earnest in his attempts to get Ruffles to remain still. Upon arriving home, she had hopped out of the car and made a run for the side yard, taking the opportunity to not only mark her turf but then roll around in the grass with full canine ferociousness.

Well, it would have been ferocious had she not been a mere fourteen pounds of white fur. But he supposed she didn’t really know how small and ridiculous she was.

He had grabbed her and hauled her up to the apartment, not wanting to have her get bits of grass and dirt everywhere, while he left Annie to tend to a laughing and shrieking Sophie.

As annoying as it was to clean her up, he guessed this meant that Ruffles was back to her usual self. Now that he thought about it, she had been pretty friendly and calm when they picked her up from Ian’s classroom, and she had been fine in History as soon as Annie had greeted her with full on cheeriness.

He noticed Annie had perked up a lot this afternoon, and as he had suspected, Ruffles had mirrored her emotional state. As it was a touchy subject, he hadn’t wanted to come out and directly share his belief that Ruffles had been cozying up with Annie lately due to Annie being particularly moody.

No, he couldn’t use the word _moody_. He’d be instantly killed.

He supposed it was because it was that time of the month or something.

No, he couldn’t say anything about _that_ either.

He wondered if she was disappointed. He hated letting her down.

But he could do one thing, and that was clean up their little furball. He was kneeling and turned to his left to hold out his hand to Sophie, who had wandered in and was now standing next to him, watching the proceedings with intense interest.

“Can you please hand me the doggie soap?”

_“Dat dis?”_ She held up the white bottle with a picture of a dog on the front, her eyes dancing between him and Ruffles.

He smirked and accepted it, deciding to narrate the proceedings in the hopes that maybe this at least would be educational.

“Yes, thank you. So we take a little bit of soap and put it on the sponge, and then we place it on Ruffles’ back....”

Ruffles began to try to shake herself off, and he luckily was able to avert that.

Sophie stepped closer and placed her elbows on the edge of the tub. As she settled her chin adorably onto her hands, she asked, _“She don’t like it?”_

He explained, “Dogs don’t like baths. But she’s really dirty, so we have to. She’ll be fine.”

_“Id okay, Wuffles. Daddy get you all clean. Und I come in wid you.”_ She stepped back and placed her hands on the tub and began to swing a leg over, but he stopped her, which elicited a pout.

_“But I wanna help.”_

“You can, but just stand here.”

_“No, I get in. She scawed.”_

Sophie then backed away and began taking off her shirt. He reached over to intervene when Ruffles used the moment as an opportunity to start to escape the tub.

Slightly panicking, he called over his shoulder, “Hey, Annie, can you get in here?”

Thankfully she padded in pretty quickly. Her hand went to her half opened mouth as she took in the sight of them, and he wondered exactly how ridiculous they looked. As he was about to say something, she deftly knelt to attend to Sophie and stop her from undressing.

“Now sweetie, we need to let Daddy help Ruffles.” She gently pulled down Sophie’s half raised shirt and gave her a kind and patient look.

Sophie pouted but held onto Annie’s right pinkie finger and said, _“No, Mama, I do it too.”_

“You know what? I was thinking of having a snack. Maybe some cheese crackers? Do you want to come with me?”

At this, Sophie seemed torn. She glanced back and forth between Ruffles and her mother, and Jeff did his best to stifle a laugh, fully aware Annie was feeling the same way. He had to hand it to her that she was usually better than he was at getting Sophie to do something before a likely meltdown ensued. It was probably because she usually didn’t give commands.

Annie continued to raise her brows at Sophie and began to nod. To reiterate her point, she simply said, “Cheese crackers are delicious.”

That seemed to break Sophie, who was now comically drooling slightly and moving toward Annie.

He smiled gratefully at Annie, who gave him a peck on the cheek before she stood and took Sophie’s hand and ushered her out.

He turned his attentions back to the wet monster.

“Now where were we?”

Ruffles cocked her head and obediently lifted a paw.

 

X

X

After making sure the critter was clean, he placed her on a towel and began to wipe her down, knowing full well she wouldn’t tolerate it for long. He then let her go, watching in amazement as she tore off down the hall toward the living room.

He called out, “Annie, throw towels on the furniture! She’s loose!”

“Already did!”

“Thank you!”

He followed her, and as he entered the living room he shook his head at the sight of her looking miserable on the towel upon the couch. Annie shuffled over from the kitchen where Sophie was sitting and eating her snack.

“Is she all clean?”

“Yup.”

“Thank you.” She smiled and wrapped her arms around his neck, rising on her toes so she could give him a kiss.

It was certainly some kiss, and it very much distracted him from any attempts to wrap Ruffles and put her somewhere where she wouldn’t leave the scent of wet dog on the furniture. He initially assumed it would be a quick peck, but it deepened, Annie’s tongue gently exploring, the raspberry taste of her lip gloss reminding him of how much he needed her right now. It had been a long week.

As he was thinking through how they could possibly get the munchkin to bed early tonight, she pulled out of the kiss and descended, letting out a soft sigh, which drove him mad with lust.

He growled, “When’s bedtime?”

She batted her lashes and bit her lip, affecting a coy stance that wasn’t helping him calm down. He was so thankful that she was feeling better and that maybe things could return to their new normal of scandalizing sexy times. They had been having a lot more fun again ever since their tryst in the Biology lab three weeks ago. The kitchen counter had seen more than its usual action, as had their balcony at midnight. Sure, it had been a little fatiguing, but definitely worth it.

She was attempting to suppress a grin and replied, “Jeff, we can’t just shove her in her room.”

“Can’t we?”

She lightly swatted him, and he grabbed her hand and pulled her in for another kiss.

As they pulled apart, he whispered, “God, I want you.”

She blushed and then rubbed her head against his chest, and he pushed down the urge to pick her up and haul her off to the bedroom. It probably wouldn’t be an appropriate time, given the munchkin was seated a few feet away and singing to herself and scribbling away in a coloring book in between cracker chomps.

“Jeff, I need to tell you something. I’m…”

She suddenly turned her attentions to the sound of Ruffles shaking off.

“Oh no, sweetie!” She ran over to the couch and grabbed the towel, adeptly wrapping Ruffles into it and pulling her to sit on her lap.

He rushed over, and upon seeing she had Ruffles all wrapped in the towel, he calmed and sat down. With a smirk, he regarded the display, noticing Annie was cooing over the dog as she smooshed the towel around. Ruffles was apparently loving it, which surprised him, since she usually didn’t like being wet and wanted to just hide out.

Ruffles was literally swaddled like a baby.

He felt a burning in his chest and smiled tightly as he affected a nonchalant demeanor and draped his arm around the back of the couch, cocking his head so that he could continue to watch the interaction.

“You were so dirty, sweetie, but now Daddy cleaned you all up and you’ll be fluffy and adorable very soon. And you smell so…” She puckered her nose as she asked, “Did you get her a new shampoo?”

“No, same old stuff.”

“Really? It’s all chemical-ly. I think we should get her a different one for next time.” She leaned down and sniffed Ruffles once more before resuming her towel rubbing. Ruffles began to squirm a little so, with a bemused sigh, she reluctantly placed her on the floor and set her loose.

As she watched her run down the hall, Annie started to stand but then suddenly stopped and sat back down. “Um, would you mind throwing this in the hamper?” She held the wet towel out to him.

“Yeah, of course. Are you okay?”

She took a deep breath and said, “Yeah. I’m just suddenly really tired and that towel smells kind of gross.” She leaned back against the couch and closed her eyes.

Although concerned, he made the decision to follow orders first. He took the towel down to the linen closet and promptly disposed of it, taking a moment to pat the munching munchkin on the head before making his way back to the couch. He sat down and faced sideways, reaching out to caress Annie’s arm.

He remarked, “It’s been a rough week. I don’t know if I’ve been keeping you up or something, but I can sleep on the couch tonight if it’ll help.”

She opened her eyes and turned toward him, tucking one leg underneath so that she could face him fully. She had a strange expression on her face, one that he couldn’t quite decipher. Some mixture of frustration and bemusement, but that made no sense.

She appeared to think for a moment before suddenly seeming to decide on a course of action and then smiling and saying with her eyes wide, “I don’t want you to sleep on the couch. I want you with me.”

“You sure? You’ve been kind of exhausted.”

“I’m sorry I’ve been so moody.”

He was surprised but grateful that she used that word, as he no longer felt guilty thinking it. He nodded and said, “Yeah, um, don’t worry about that.”

She was staring at him now, and she bit her lip before she said, “I know I’ve been a little crazy, Jeff. Not that it’s really an excuse,” she hesitated and then continued, “but it’s _hormones_.”

She was looking at him as if she wanted him to understand something. He shook his head and let out a chuckle before he said, “I didn’t want to say, but I figured.”

She gasped, “You knew?” She then gave him a light swat.

He was a little confused, given he thought it was a pretty common stereotype of which he thought Annie would be well aware.

Shirking back a little, he said, “Well yeah. I mean you usually get a little more intense around this time anyway, so maybe Aunt Flo along with school stuff made you extra insane.” He shrugged and then added, “No one died. It’s fine.”

She tilted her head and regarded him with an odd expression. Appearing to think through something, she now placed her hand near her mouth, which he was fairly certain was an attempt to cover her growing smile.

Before he could ask, they were of course interrupted again as Sophie shrieked, _“Daddy! I need help! Help!”_

He immediately widened his eyes and jumped to his feet, jogging over to the table, where Sophie was attempting to dislodge herself from her strapped booster seat. She was kicking the table and seemed fairly irritable, which he supposed he could handle. Having normal Annie back was an exchange he’d gladly make, even if the munchkin were cranky.

“You’re okay. Just calm down and let me help you.”

_“I wanna go!”_

“I know, please stop kicking and I’ll unbuckle you, okay?”

Luckily, she seemed to listen, and she stilled, looking up at him with tearful eyes and cracker crumbs across her face. He pouted down at her in sympathy and unclipped her, but then she continued to stare up at him.

He sat down and sighed. “You okay?”

_“No. I wanna taka bath.”_

He nodded and began to strategize, as he certainly had no intention of going through another bath time ritual right now. It would mean cleaning out the tub, they still needed to make dinner, and it would help everyone if they got Sophie’s things all ready for daycare tomorrow. Plus he was still intent on pursuing the sexy times with Annie as long as she was up for it. He seemed to be getting mixed signals, but he fully intended to follow up.

As if on cue, Annie sat down on the other side of Sophie and said cheerily, “Sophie, sweetie, you don’t need a bath, and remember we have dinner in a little bit. Why don’t you go to your room and get Ruthie? I think Bear is looking very lonely.” She glanced over at the corner near Sophie’s backpack where the Beat was sitting and let Sophie follow her gaze.

Annie was so clever. Really, he should write some of this stuff down.

Surprisingly unmoved, Sophie frowned and then turned back to him to say, _“I wanna taka bath. Pwease?”_

He inwardly groaned but exchanged looks with Annie, whom he noticed seemed inpatient, when that was usually his role, and then said, “How about we do bath time right before bed? Mommy’s right, we need to make dinner and you need to play with your furry people, and…”

_“I don’t wanna go bedtime. I wanna bath.”_

Annie smiled tightly and stood, attempting to pick Sophie up as she said, “Why don’t you find Ruffles?”

Jeff piped in, “She probably shouldn’t bother her. You know how Ruffles gets when she’s wet.”

“Nonsense, she can check on her. I need to talk to you about something important.”

_“I don’t wanna see Wuffles. I wanna bath, Mama!”_

“Now sweetie, I need to talk to Daddy for a minute.”

_“No! You NOT talka Daddy! Daddy make bath! Daddy, I need bath!”_

Sophie began sobbing hysterically, and Jeff noticed Annie closed her eyes apparently in intense frustration. Once again, he was surprised that she was that rattled since she usually handled things like this fairly well.

“Jeff, I really need to talk to you.”

He felt a little irritated himself right now, wondering why Annie was pushing the issue. Clearly their daughter was having a meltdown, and he figured she would know by now that their needs came last in a situation like this. As he reached forward for Sophie, he almost hissed, “It can wait.”

“No, it can’t.”

He picked up a sobbing Sophie and lifted her to his shoulder, placing a kiss on her cheek. He began to bounce her a little, and Annie walked over and took Sophie’s little hand and murmured, “Sweetie, you’re okay.”

_“I wanna bath.”_

“I know. How about I give you a bath in ten minutes?”

He whispered, “Annie, that’s ridiculous. Let’s just let her forget about it.”

But Annie’s words had an effect, and Sophie was quickly calming down. She sniffed, _“I bath? Ten?”_

“That’s right, sweetie. Ten minutes.”

_“Five?”_

“Okay, five minutes.”

“Christ. You’re just rewarding her, I…”

\--“Jeff, I’ll give her a bath. It’s not a big deal.”

He searched her intense gaze, and he then muttered, “The tub’s filthy.”

“Then I’ll clean it out first. You can make dinner. Will that work?”

He continued to rub Sophie’s back, letting his hand touch Annie’s, who was also attempting to soothe her. They had worked so hard to handle Sophie’s tantrums in a reliable and predictable way, and while it wasn’t always easy, it generally worked. He was baffled as to why Annie seemed so impatient this time and wondered what on earth couldn’t wait for them to talk about. True, before she had crashed on the couch, she had seemed almost covertly manic since History class but she had plenty of time to discuss anything she wanted with him.

Sensing Sophie’s sniffles becoming less intense, he smiled softly at Annie and then said, “Okay, I’m going to put you down now, and Mommy’s going to get your bath ready in five minutes.”

_“No. I wanna YOU give me bath. Like Wuffles.”_

“I think Mommy can give you a bath.”

_“No!”_ Sophie slammed her closed fist on his shoulder and began screaming.

He glanced over at Annie, who was now regarding Sophie with concern yet he could have sworn a flash of irritation, which frankly, he shared. She silently mouthed to him she’d be right back and then walked off down the hallway toward the bedrooms.

He rocked Sophie back and forth on his shoulder, knowing full well she was getting a little old for this, but he supposed she was still figuring out the whole emotional stuff.

Now that he thought about it, maybe he had also been having quiet tantrums for a number of years now. His mind flashed to him and Pierce verbally duking it out over a turnip this morning.

As he paced, she seemed to once again calm down. He murmured, “Everything’s okay, munchkin.”

Annie reappeared, this time holding Count Frogula in plain view and something else behind her back. She smiled tenderly at the sight of them and sat down at the table. She said, “Sophie, sweetie, who’s this?” as she placed the stuffed frog on the table.

He sat down with Sophie and moved her to his lap. She was sucking her thumb now and had stopped crying. Her eyes went to the frog and she said in a gurgly and muffled voice, _“Dat mine. Cownt Fwogula.”_

Annie smiled at her and nodded as she moved the frog over to her, swiveling it from side to side as she said in a light voice, “Count Frogula missed you so much. He told me he was waiting for you to come home so you could play.”

_“He miss me?_ ”

“Yes, very much.” She inched the frog closer, and Sophie reached out her spitty hand to grab it. She then pulled it into her chest with both hands and buried her face into the green fur.

Annie chuckled lovingly and regarded Sophie for a few moments before lifting her gaze. She then finally revealed what she was hiding behind her back.

It was Ruthie, the stuffed kangaroo.

He didn’t know what to make of this. He whispered, “She’s fine with the frog. Let’s not get her hyped up.” He placed a kiss on the top of Sophie’s head.

_“I lub Cownt Fwogula.”_

Annie grinned and wiggled Ruthie from side to side. She said in a sing-songy tone, “Jeff, Ruthie has something she’d like to share with you.”

He found himself beyond smirking, confused yet curious, given Annie’s playful demeanor. Whenever she was like this, it was guaranteed a good time, whether it be investigating a supposed conspiracy theory or pondering the plight of fallen yams.

He made the obvious decision to play along and asked, “What is it, Ruthie?”

Annie almost squeaked with excitement, and she reached into Ruthie’s pouch and pulled out Nathan.

He regarded the strange little creature for a moment and then cocked his head. “Hi Nathan. We meet again.”

There was an awkward pause, as he waited for the rest.

“Jeff.”

“What?”

“There’s a baby in Ruthie’s pouch.”

“I know. You’ve shown him to me before.”

He squinted over at her and once again had the sense he was not understanding something. Annie was definitely smarter than he was, but usually they were on relatively the same page. She was motioning with her head toward Nathan, her eyes widening for emphasis. He felt like an idiot.

“A baby, Jeff. In her pouch.”

“Huh?”

She glanced at Sophie, who was reaching for another cheese cracker and talking to her frog, and then pushed back her chair.

She bit her lip, looked over at Sophie once again to make sure she wasn’t watching, and then pointed to her stomach.

She then shrugged and gave him a half smile.

It was like a zap of electricity spread throughout his entire body. God, he was so dense. But this couldn’t be. It didn’t make any sense they’d be having this conversation now.

Incredulously, he let out a light gasp, and he felt his eyes widen to likely ten times their size.

“Holy crap.”

“Yes.” She was nodding emphatically, and she was almost laughing, likely from relief that he had finally awoken from his obtuseness and realized what she was getting at.

He glanced down at Sophie and then whispered, “You’re….?” But he couldn’t finish it. He felt utterly dumbfounded, and he suddenly considered the fact that she would have known for awhile. He wondered why she had waited so long to tell him.

She placed Ruthie and Nathan to the side and then scooted her chair closer so that she was within a foot of him. With a chuckle, she whispered, “Yes, Jeff, I’m pregnant!”

Pregnant.

Was he awake?

He managed aloud, “Are you sure?”

She let out in a rush of words as she practically bounced in her seat, “Yes! I took a test today. It was clearly positive. And I’m a week late, so I think it all matches up, but I made a doctor’s appointment just to be thorough.” She paused to take a needed breath and then continued, “I mixed up my weeks, which is silly, but I’ve been so stressed. Oh, and I think Ruffles knows.”

She tilted her head, and he softened, allowing himself to fully take in the news. He had been living under the assumption that this was another null month, so his world was literally upending itself.

But in the most amazing way.

They were doing this.

Feeling his pulse quickening from excitement, he merely stared at her and whispered, “My God, Annie. We’re having a baby?”

“Yup!” She lightly clapped her hands together and scooted inward, and he wrapped one arm around her and kissed her cheek.

It was probably his new favorite moment ever.

 

X

X

He ended up scrubbing the tub, insisting that Annie not expose herself to unnecessary chemicals and opening the window just to make sure no fumes spread through the apartment, which he would have done on account of Sophie alone, but now he had to be extra vigilant because of Annie and the munchkin fetus.

This of course meant he caved and bathed Sophie while Annie cooked dinner; after all, they couldn’t go back on a promise to her, now could they?

He glanced down at Sophie, who was now very content and playing with her bath toys as he sat next to the tub. Normally, he’d be surreptitiously checking his phone as bath time was kind of boring these days as he wasn’t really that concerned about her drowning anymore, but this time he was in a bit of a stupor.

Annie was pregnant.

Actually pregnant.

Which meant that there would be a second munchkin in about eight or nine months. He continued to watch Sophie splash around and marveled at the whole idea.

He couldn’t wait.

 

X

X

“When do you start getting food cravings?”

Annie looked up from her pasta and laughed. “Not for awhile. At least…,” she paused and then shrugged as she stabbed a noodle with her fork, “I don’t think so. Last time I was pretty sick for awhile.”

He considered there was so much he didn’t know, but he had picked up some things throughout the years. He remembered Shirley throwing up outside the study room, to the complete mortification of the Dean. To think that Annie would be going through that made him sit up with alertness, and he realized he hadn’t even asked how she was.

Leaning forward, he asked, “How do you feel now?”

“I’m fine. And last time, well, I’m not sure how much of it was due to morning sickness and how much of it had to do with the effects of withdrawal.”

She smiled sheepishly at him from across the table, and he felt another wave of affection for her. He hated thinking of her going through that time alone, and the thought of them doing this together filled him with gratitude.

_“Mama sick?”_ Sophie didn’t even look up from her pasta, which contained more than its fair share of melted cheese courtesy of an ecstatic Annie. But she was clearly listening. They’d have to be careful.

Annie cast Jeff a bemused look and then said, “I’m not sick, sweetie.”

_“Okay.”_

Jeff silently mouthed, “When should we tell her?”

In response, Annie simply shrugged.

He supposed they’d discuss that later, and it might make sense for them to wait a few weeks. Although he didn’t know much about pregnancy, he was aware that the early time could be precarious.

God, he hoped this would all work out.

Throughout the meal, he continued to stare at Annie, and she continued to blush and occasionally bounce in her seat.

 

X

X

They finally put Sophie to bed, Jeff taking the opportunity to use a hair dryer on Ruffles so that the dog could join Sophie for bedtime. It was a little dicey there for a while, but he succeeded in getting Ruffles to a state that somewhat resembled her usual self.

She licked his free hand as he unplugged the hairdryer, and he knelt down to pat her back.

“Well now, so you knew about Mommy?”

Ruffles cocked her head and wagged her tail in response.

He stifled a laugh and said, “You’re pretty smart, you know that? But you could have clued me in.”

More tail wags. He proceeded to pet her behind her ears.

“I know, you probably were trying to do just that. I’m sorry I’m crap at listening.”

He scooped her up and stood, giving her a good sniff. She actually smelled pretty good right now, and the thought that his and Annie’s perceptions could be so discrepant made him wonder about what was happening to her. He supposed he might never fully understand, but he aimed to try.

He rounded the corner to Sophie’s room and then stood in the doorway, listening to Annie finish up her bedtime story.

“And they lived happily ever after. The end.”

_“Ahhh, dat nice, Mama. You wead more stowy, okay?”_

“Remember, we said two stories, and this was number two. It’s time for sleep.”

_“Where Wuffles?”_

“Here she is, all dry.” He crouched down to let Ruffles go, and she promptly trotted over and jumped on top of Sophie’s bed.

Sophie smiled at her and sat up, motioning for Ruffles to come closer, which she did. _“She all cwean! Hi Wuffles. I missed you so much.”_

Ruffles licked her arm and then proceeded to turn around in three circles before she allowed herself to settle near the foot of Sophie’s bed.

Annie rose and placed the book on the little bookshelf and then she and Jeff kissed Sophie goodnight.

As they were about to leave, he told Annie he’d be along in a minute. She smiled wryly at him and then went out to the living room. He sat back down in the chair next to Sophie’s bed and took a moment to regard her little ringlets and fingers. She was almost too much sometimes, and he swore her cuteness would be the end of him, his heart hurt when he thought of anything bad happening to her.

He couldn’t imagine what it was going to be like worrying about another one, but he knew all the fretting and maintenance parts would be overshadowed by moments such as this.

He reached over and carefully pulled her blanket up, tucking it underneath her arms, which she had lifted for him in anticipation of their nightly ritual.

_“Dank you, Daddy.”_

“Goodnight, Sophie.”

 

X

“So, we’re really up for another one?”

He closed the bedroom door behind him, knowing they would have some alone time before they’d open it so that the munchkin could enter in the wee hours of the morning, should she be inclined, which about half the time she was. They had made the decision to go to bed early tonight, and Jeff wasn’t really sure if they were going to have sex or talk about how their life was going to radically change.

Although, he supposed he made the decision in asking that question. Despite being horny earlier and certainly open to being so again in the very near future, his mind was swirling.

Annie, dressed in her teal slip, looked up from her spot on the bed, and for the first time he noticed she was holding Sophie’s baby book. Her eyes gleamed, and she squealed, “I can’t believe it!”

He smirked and waltzed over, allowing himself to fall into the mattress with a contented sigh. He had changed into his pajama pants and t-shirt earlier, wanting to be comfortable. He felt Annie’s breath as she continued to flip through the album, and he then scooted to sit up and place an arm around her.

He watched as Annie awwwed over the pictures of Sophie as a newborn, and he felt giddy. As he pressed a kiss to her temple, he said, “I’m so excited.”

“I know! Isn’t it just crazy?”

“A baby in your pouch.”

She turned toward him and said, “I did one of those online calculator thingys, and it gave me a due date.”

Leave it to his wife to get a jump on things. He knew she couldn’t wait for a doctor’s appointment. He briefly considered he should ask more about that and mention coming with her. He wondered when they did the sonogram thing? He supposed he had a lot of questions.

He said aloud, “I thought you had to see a doctor for that.”

“Not really. They use the same thing, and calculate from the date of your last period. So I entered it in, and it said,” she paused for dramatic effect and continued, “get this…” Her eyes danced, and he felt vaguely titillated, “December 25th!”

He marveled at this bit of information, still having some difficulty in fully believing there would be another little human with them before the end of the year. He placed his hand on her belly, strangely for the first time since she had told him, as they didn’t want to get Sophie all excited, and he cleared his throat.

“Christmas? Poor kid. Half the presents.”

She laughed and placed her hand over his, looking down with an aura of contentment. “It is kind of weird, but they probably won’t be born on their actual due date. And this means I’ll be able to make it through the fall semester.”

Of course she was thinking about school. In light of this news, he briefly considered they should talk about the plan for the timing of the remainder of her academic career, but he didn’t really want to get into that right now. It was fascinating enough to consider the actual little human involved.

Little munchkin #2.

No, that was redundant.

Munchkin #2?

Baby Hobbit #2?

As-yet-to-be-properly-nicknamed baby Winger?

She was humming now, and she said with a sing-songy tone, “And I’m pretty sure I know when they were conceived.”

He had been thinking about that himself, in between bites of pasta, cleaning up the dinner table, and drying Ruffles. It was almost a little too on the nose, but hell. 

He said smugly, “Biology table sex.”

She swatted him and laughed with embarrassment.

He added, “But I suppose it could have been after? We did take the party home, and we were pretty active the days after that.”

She shook her head emphatically and said, “No. I firmly believe it was during Biology table sex.”

With a wince, he asked, “God, does this mean we conceived our child at Greendale?”

“Yes.”

“Oh, fine.”

Ignoring his attempts at humor, she said, “According to the online calculator, I’m five weeks.”

He squinted at her, now utterly confused.

As if she read his mind, she explained, “I know we were in the Biology lab three weeks ago, but they add on two weeks to the date of the last period, so that’s why I’m five weeks, and that’s why the due date is December 25th.”

He groaned and flipped back his head as he said, “I have so much to learn.”

She rubbed his hand as she said, “I know, but we’ll figure this out together.”

“You’ve done this before.”

“Not like this.” She looked up at him knowingly, and he felt his body relax.

They would go on this adventure together. He didn’t know what to expect, but he was pretty darn thrilled.

He affected a studious expression and then scooted down so that he could be near her torso. At her giggles, he lifted up her slip to expose her belly. He did not fail to notice the lace panties, and he supposed she was open to the sexy times tonight, although part of him briefly questioned whether or not they could have sex.

Wait, he had seen enough cheesy movies to know they could have sex. The baby would be fine.

He placed a soft kiss in the center and said, “Hi baby.”

He lifted his head, and she was grinning down at him, clearly delighted.

“You’re such a goof.”

With a raised brow, he said with mock seriousness, “Don’t tell anyone.”

Her eyes widening in realization, she gasped, “When are we going to tell people?!?”

Remaining near her belly, he continued to rub it, marveling at what was developing inside, and replied, “Not our priority right now. We can figure that out tomorrow.”

He had no intention to get into this conversation right now. He had just learned he was going to be a father again, a father right from the start this time, and he was too enthralled with the concept to really care about anything else.

But Annie had other ideas.

She said, “We need to tell your mom first.”

“Obviously.”

“She’ll be so happy!”

“Probably.” He found himself chuckling as he pictured his mother’s face. He kind of wanted to tell her in person.

Tensing, Annie then said, “I should probably inform you that Shirley already knows.”

His hand stilled, and he stared up at her open mouthed. He wondered how in hell that happened.

Her eyes now worried, she quickly added, “She actually figured it out before I did. She’s had three kids. And she’s the one who was with me when I took the test.”

He nodded, now fully comprehending their disappearing act that morning.  He remarked, “Ah, so it wasn’t the turnip.”

“Well, that turnip was gross. And it smelled terrible.”

“I don’t think it smelled like anything, but okay, even I know heightened sense of smell is a sign of pregnancy. By the way, you’re going to have to let me know if there are smells that are particularly grossing you out around here. I’ll take care of it.”

She let out a soft sigh and remarked, “Shirley was actually pretty sweet about the whole thing, and she promised she wouldn’t tell anyone.”

“That explains why she was grinning at me all afternoon.”

“She was?”

He recalled Shirley scooting by him repeatedly during their shared Marketing and Media class, supposedly to sharpen her pencil. He had been more than a little befuddled as to why she even used a pencil and why Greendale had an old timey sharpener fastened to the back wall, but he usually didn’t like to unnecessarily dig into stuff like that. At any rate, she kept asking him how he was, her eyes gleaming in that mischievous way they sometimes did before she was about to assail one with the praises of the Lord, so he had given murmured and non-engaged responses.

Big Cheddar was certainly something.

He simply said aloud, “Yup.”

“We should probably tell the group then.”

He closed his eyes for a moment and considered this. They were so enmeshed already, and while he totally understood why Shirley was clued in and it strangely didn’t bother him that much given how helpful she had been, the thought of them all knowing made him nervous.

He said, “Not to be pessimistic, but isn’t it a bit early to tell everyone?”

He hoped he hadn’t said the wrong thing. Annie’s lip quivered, and he suddenly felt like an ass.

He quickly said, “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean that. Let’s just forget I said anything.”

“No, you’re right. We probably don’t want to tell everyone, like the people we’d feel don’t really need to know.”

“Um, exactly.”

She was quiet for a moment before she said, “We should probably only tell people we’d want to know if something did happen and we were sad.”

He looked back up to see her vulnerable face, and he knew the answer to that. He swallowed and then said with some reluctance, “You’re right. We should tell the group.”

Her frown slowly transformed into a soft smile and she motioned for him to come back up to her side. He did so, and she leaned her head against his chest, and he wrapped his arms around her.

He mumbled into a kiss to her temple, “I’m pretty happy.”

“I knew you’d be.” She then pushed herself to sit up and regarded him with playful eyes. He wondered what she was up to, as he couldn’t imagine any more surprises for the day.

With a conspiratorial look, she said, her voice lowering a full register, “Do you want to see my boobs?”

“Always.”

“No, Jeff, seriously. They’re really tender, so don’t touch them too much…” he frowned as she peaked down her slip and added, “but they’re changing. Here, take a look.”

He was always interested in a boob flash.

(He was really excited!)

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	4. Introduction to Marketing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff and Annie strategize

Jeff hesitated to open his eyes, knowing another hectic day was about to begin. He had been slowly rousing for the past several minutes, allowing his mind to filter through the remnants of his dreams, which had consisted of a lot of change related themes.

Strangely, but more importantly relieving, was the fact that these particular dreams weren’t upsetting or jarring; instead, they were full of joy.

He became aware he was spooning Annie, and he smiled. He let his hand move to her belly and thought about the amazing news she shared with him last night. For a brief moment, he wondered if he had dreamt that as well, but then he peeked and saw her teal slip so he knew it was real.

After she had allowed him a glimpse of her boobs, they had made out a little, eventually but ever gently venturing into the full event. Annie had urged him to be a little more commanding, and he had hesitated, somehow irrationally concerned he would hurt her. She had insisted and he eventually caved, knowing that sometimes she was turned on when he took charge; he always appreciated when she did as well, but this time she wanted him to assume the lead.

It turned out to be pretty fantastic.

He supposed he must have fallen asleep in his current position and hadn’t moved. He was also aware that he didn’t detect the presence of any creature in between them. He cracked his eye open further and noted they were alone. Well, he supposed not technically alone. That concept was still pretty stupefying, but in a dizzyingly wonderful way.

“Good morning.”

Annie’s sleepy voice carried the lilt of a smile, and he found himself grinning as he replied, “How did you know I was awake?”

In response, she placed her hand over his and rubbed it, letting out a contented sigh. He nuzzled into the back of her neck.

She slowly turned around, and with some disappointment he let his hand fall away. She regarded him with affection and then took his hand and placed it back on her stomach.

As she looked at him, she said, “I like when you do that.”

He mirrored her expression and said, “This whole thing is crazy. Amazingly crazy.”

“The baby likes it when you do that.”

He smirked and asked, “How do you know that?”

“Because it makes me happy. So I know they’re happy too.”

Feeling some tears unexpectedly well in his eyes, he leaned in to give her a tender kiss, feeling incredibly thankful for having had the wisdom to overcome all of his insecurities and allow her into his life. She was the perfect partner for him and was an incredible mother, and the thought of them doing this together was almost too much to believe.

As they pulled out of the kiss, he remarked with a note of feigned annoyance, “I don’t even want to know what time it is.”

She lifted her head and stared at the door, taking a moment to tilt her head and listen.

“I don’t hear her.”

He sat up slightly and then turned to reach for his phone, which elicited a swat. He chuckled as he said, “I just need to know when the insanity starts.”

“Soon we’ll have two of them.”

He nodded as he viewed the obscenely early time and remarked, “Oh, _that_ I’m pretty excited about. When I said insanity I meant Greendale.”

He moved the phone over to her so she could see the time, and he was validated when she groaned and threw her head back on the pillow.

“I thought you loved school.”

She slowly sat up and turned to regard him, and he scooted so that he could rest his back against the headboard. With a sigh, she remarked, “I do. It’s just that I really think we should tell your mom about the baby before anyone else, right?”

“I agree.” Unsure of why she seemed so angsty, he moved his hand back to her belly.

It really was the coolest thing.

She looked down and once again placed her hand over his, taking a moment to think before she asked, “So how are we supposed to go to school and not tell our friends?”

So that was it. She was feeling guilty about keeping things from them, and while he couldn’t really relate to that, having compartmentalized most of his life, he intellectually understood. Annie loved their friends and it probably wouldn’t feel very authentic of her to go about pretending, even if it were only through omission.

He offered, “We could tell my mom before school?”

He eyed her with hesitation, feeling in his heart he didn’t really want to call up his mom to share the news. It would rob him of the moment she just possibly literally exploded with joy, and that was too tempting to miss. But he supposed if telling their friends was that important to Annie, he’d sacrifice it.

As if she read his mind, she vehemently shook her head. “No, Jeff. We need to go see your mom. I really want to tell her in person, and I think you do, too.”

He nodded, and she took a deep breath of courage.

“So, it’s decided. Let’s call your mom and arrange a time to see her on Saturday. We’ll just have to wait to tell our friends until next week.”

He eyed her with skepticism. “You’re willing to go through two whole days around them with this huge secret?”

She shrugged. “It’s not ideal, but I think it’s important. I’ll just tell Shirley to be discreet.”

“Shirley and discreet really go together.”

She smacked him again.

As he was about to kiss her, the sounds of little thudding footsteps and the jingling of Ruffles’ collar came from the hallway.

“Holy crap.”

Annie laughed as Jeff grabbed the comforter and pulled it over them, making sure to keep his hand protectively in its place.

 

X

As they got things ready for the day, Sophie chomping on her cereal, Annie exchanged a few texts with Shirley:

[Shirley]: Good morning!!! How are you and dear Jeffrey? <3

[Annie]: Good morning! He’s really happy. :)

[Shirley]: That’s nice!

[Annie]: Thank you! And thanks again for your help yesterday!

[Shirley]: Of course!

[Annie]: FYI we’ve decided to wait on telling the group until next week because we want to tell Jeff’s mom this weekend. It’s important to us to tell her first. Can you please be discreet? Just for a few days? :) :)

[Shirley]: No problem! Hope you don’t mind, I told my hubby?

[Annie]: I figured you would. It’s totally ok! :)

It was at that moment that she heard Jeff chuckle and she looked up to realize he was sitting at the table and staring at his own phone.

“Just got a congrats from Andre.” He then let out a long sigh.

Although she knew he was excited, part of her felt perhaps irrationally concerned he was going to be overwhelmed. Two kids would be a lot, especially one as a newborn. He hadn’t really been around Sophie at that age, and with his perfectionistic tendencies she could see him getting stuck in his head with things for a little while.

Of course, she could relate to perfectionism.

She placed her phone down on the table and asked, “Are you okay?”

He turned toward her and then picked up his fork. With a raised brow, he remarked, “Are you kidding? Annie, what do I have to say to convince you that I’m pretty ecstatic?” He paused and then continued, “You may have not seen me quite like this before, but trust me, I’m great.”

She let out a laugh and watched him dive his fork into his eggs.

He was so cute.

Sophie seemed to appreciate this as well and shrieked, _“Daddy silly! Daddy let go to pawk, okay?”_

Jeff paused before scooping up more egg and then leaned down to squint at Sophie in mock seriousness. She seemed very bemused by this and pushed closer to him, and he kissed her forehead as he said, “You, my dear munchkin, can have anything you want.”

“Jeff.”

“She can. We can run by the park on the way to Greendale.”

“We’ll be late.”

“Who cares? She’s amazing.”

“Jeff, what are you…?”

He sat up and exclaimed, “Did you know our daughter has predicted the future?”

Annie furrowed her brow and waited for him to explain.

With a look of pure delight on his face, he said, “She said there was…” he gestured with his head toward Ruthie and Nathan, who were placed on the far end of the table from the night before, “ in your pouch… at her third birthday…”

Sophie glanced over at Ruthie and Nathan with a smile.

Annie interjected, “Yes, but that’s not…”

He continued, “And she said the jolly red clothed gentleman was going to get her a special present. And with that due date you mentioned, I’m thinking there’s something seriously interesting going on in her brain.”

He turned his eyes to Sophie and regarded her with intense pride. Annie almost wanted to cry for some reason, she was so overcome with gratitude.

Sophie was smiling now, and Annie suddenly felt alarmed that she wasn’t sure how much she understood. Her affect might have more to do with Jeff’s attention and general enthusiasm then the content of what he was saying, but she wasn’t sure. Still having not decided when they were going to tell her about the baby, she opened her eyes wide and gestured toward Sophie, hoping he would understand.

He merely winked at her and then shrugged and resumed eating his eggs.

_“I get pwesent?”_

“Not until Christmas, munchkin.”

_“What I get?”_

“What you want.”

“Jeff.”

_“Ooh! I get a bas-ket-ball?”_

They both widened their eyes and stared at each other, and Annie felt a rush of relief that Sophie really did seem to be oblivious.

She leaned down to say, “I didn’t know you wanted a basketball, sweetie.”

Sophie nodded empathically and said, _“Dino hab bas-ket-ball. Cool cool cool, Mama!”_

“I see.” She stifled a laugh and exchanged looks with Jeff, who was clearly very bemused himself.

He was such a good father.

She smiled and was about to attend to her own breakfast, when Sophie pointed at Ruthie and exclaimed, _“I lub kan-ga-woo! Mama, I wanna be a bas-ket-ball kan-ga-woo!”_

“That sounds really interesting, sweetie.”

“Yeah, munchkin, you’ll make a really cool basketball kangaroo.”

_“Mama can be kan-ga-woo too!”_

 

x

x

They ended up taking Sophie to the park to run around, and Annie decided to go down the slide with her a few times, much to Jeff’s chagrin. She thought it was really cute how protective he was being, and after they had descended the final time, she walked over and pulled him into a reassuring hug.

With a heavy sigh, she cranked her head and explained, “I can go down slides.”

He squinted down at her and once again placed his hand on her stomach as he said, “Fine, but please be careful.”

“I don’t do crazy things.”

“Sure you do.”

With an arched brow, she replied, “But they’re usually not physical things.”

“True, but still. Please. There’s a baby in your pouch.”

“Awww!”

They kissed, and as if upon cue, Sophie pushed her way in between their legs and demanded their full attention, her eyes going to Jeff’s hand on Annie’s belly.

She merely said, _“I wanna ice cweam.”_

They nonverbally decided that wasn’t going to happen, and Annie crouched down to meet Sophie at her level, taking a moment to move a stray tendril out of her face and zip up her windbreaker.

She said, “It’s time for school. No ice cream before school, but I’m sure Jessie will get you a snack.”

Sophie frowned and tried again, _“But I wanna ice cweam. Daddy say I can hab what I want.”_

Annie glanced up at Jeff, noticing he was turning away in some pretext of untying Ruffles from the park bench. Although she loved him dearly, sometimes his avoidance was a little irritating.

She let her tone speak for itself as she replied, “Well, Daddy meant you could go to the park, but that doesn’t mean we get ice cream. Wasn’t it nice Daddy said you could go to the park?”

_“Yah.”_

“Well, great. Now that we’ve played, we’re going to go to school and see all our friends.”

_“You wan ice cweam, Mama? You tummy hurt.”_ She gestured toward Annie’s stomach as she added, _“Daddy wub it. Mama full.”_

Annie once again glanced over at Jeff, noticing he had already begun his way back to the car with Ruffles. She took a moment to think, then explained, “My tummy’s fine, sweetie. Daddy was just being silly.”

Sophie tilted her head, and then a big grin spread across her face as she said, _“Sometimes my tummy full too. Dino mama hab babee in her tummy. Like Wuthie.”_

Annie inwardly startled, unsure of what exactly Sophie understood. She didn’t think she knew about the baby, not in a real way at least. Sophie was obsessed with babies, so she figured she was merely on that track again. But certainly Jeff rubbing her belly was suspicious. She’d have to talk to him about that.

She decided to do her best to redirect her and managed, “I know Dino’s mommy has a baby in her tummy, and Ruthie has Nathan. Come on, let’s go to school.”

_“Okay, Mama, but baby like ice cweam?”_

Annie’s eyes widened, and she stood and took Sophie’s hand. She said breezily, “Babies don’t eat ice cream. Baby Elizabeth doesn’t eat ice cream, and neither does Nathan.”

_“Oh.”_

 

X

A few minutes later, they headed toward campus, Sophie safely buckled into her car seat in the back.

As Jeff drove, he explained, “While you guys were on the slide, I called my mom. We’re on for lunch Saturday at her place, and I told her we’d stay over. Hope that’s okay.”

Annie felt her grin growing as she thought of how Dorie would take the news.

She chirped, “I think that’s great. I can’t wait to tell her!”

He mock rolled his eyes as he said, “Yeah, it’s gonna be wild.”

_“We go see Gamma?”_ Sophie asked as she shoved Ruthie and the Bear into each other, giggling at the sound of their plastic noses colliding.

“Not right now, munchkin. In two days. Future.” He looked into the rear view mirror to watch her.

_“Okay.”_ Sophie frowned and reached into Ruthie’s pouch to liberate Nathan. She held him aloft so that Ruffles could see him from her pet carrier.

Jeff smirked at the sight of that and then moved his eyes back to the road and addressed Annie, “Right. So how do we wanna spring this on her? We should strategize.”

Annie nodded and contemplated the issue for a few moments. She then suggested, “We could make a riddle?”

“Come on. No.”

“Well, we could just tell her.”

“But which one of us?”

“You, of course. You’re her son.”

Jeff suddenly felt his stomach fall, as he realized that they hadn’t even talked about Annie’s family. It hadn’t occurred to him, and that fact probably spoke volumes about the relationship she had with them.

He cleared his throat and then commented, “That makes sense.” He paused and then asked, “What about your family? When do you want to tell them about the baby?”

Annie shushed him, and he slightly panicked, but after glancing in the rearview mirror, he was reassured that Sophie was occupied, as she was making silly faces at Ruffles while intermittently sucking on Nathan. He made a mental note to give him a good scrubbing later.

He said, “Sorry. She’s not listening.”

“Are you sure? Because I think she might be picking up on a couple things, and we should probably be more careful until we’re ready to tell her.”

He shrugged dismissively and said, “Yeah. Anyway, your family?”

Annie turned to look out the passenger window, letting out a soft sigh as she pushed back onto the headrest.

He ventured, “I’m sorry. We don’t have to talk about that right now.”

“No, it’s okay. I guess they haven’t really been on my mind. Strange, isn’t it?”

“No, I get it.”

She turned back to face the front and furrowed her brow in thought. She then said, “Telling my dad can wait awhile.”

“Right.”

“And I guess I’m not in a rush with my mom, given what happened last time.” She winced at the memory.

He reached over and took her hand, giving it a reassuring squeeze. “Things are different now.”

“Are they? I don’t really know if she’ll be that enthusiastic.”

He shook his head, and they drove in silence for a minute.

Annie then said, “Let’s wait until I’m past the first trimester to tell both my mom and Anthony.”

“Sounds good.”

He reached over and placed his hand on her stomach, and although she tried to swat him away, he knew it was a half-hearted attempt, so he kept it there. 

 

X

They were able to make it to the first study group meeting at the beginning of the day, arriving about twenty minutes late due to the playground detour, but no one seemed to mind, as Troy and Pierce were arguing about something, with Britta throwing in her opinion at random points.

“Pierce! You stop this! I don’t want it!”

“My boy, that is a family heirloom, and I just thought…”

“It’s creepy! I don’t want anything made out of hair!”

“Cut it out Pierce! The use of human hair in artifacts belongs in Victorian times! But hey Troy, maybe I could take it? It would be fascinating from a psychological point of view, and I could show it to my Psych class to illustrate the Victorian obsession with the macramé.”

Shirley piped in, “I think, Brit-ta, you meant _macabre_.”

Britta scowled and was about to retort, when Troy shrieked, “I don’t want that thing anywhere in our apartment, don’t you understand?!?”

Abed reached across the table and patted Troy’s hand while giving Britta the closest expression he had to a glare. He said, “This is upsetting Troy. You know he has a hair phobia.”

“I do man, I do.”

Britta frowned. “That makes no sense.”

Jeff cleared his throat as he strolled in, “Ahem. Since we’re here now, perhaps we can stop this.” He cocked his head toward Sophie, who had insisted on joining them for the first hour before going to school, as she sometimes did when she really wanted to see the study group.

They group suddenly quieted and began their cheerful hellos as Jeff pulled out the chair between him and placed Sophie’s backpack on it, while Annie sat down with Sophie on her lap.

Sophie looked around the table and shouted her greetings and then Annie took out a piece of paper and crayon and placed them in front of her so that she had something to do while everyone chatted and they supposedly did some studying before class.

Shirley grinned over at her, and Annie merely smiled slightly back, her cheeks blushing a little. Shirley then looked over at Jeff and said, “It’s so nice to see the _three_ of you!”

Jeff gave her a reproachful look, and she shrugged and then said to Sophie, “Hello, So-phie! What are you working on?”

Sophie looked up from her scribbles and replied, _“I maka kan-ga-woo!”_ She then turned toward Jeff and asked, _“Daddy, where Wuthie?”_

Jeff smirked and said, “She’s in the car, munchkin. Remember you can’t take your furry friends to school. You get to play with school toys today.”

Sophie pouted and then turned back to Shirley and said, _“Wuthie hab babee in her tummy. I hab babee in my tummy too.”_ She proceeded to pat her own belly and grinned triumphantly.

Shirley’s eyes widened and she looked at Annie with a silent question, and Annie merely said quickly, “Oh, she’s obsessed with Nathan in Ruthie’s kangaroo pouch. Sophie sweetie, you don’t have a baby in your tummy.”

Watching the interaction, Britta snorted and said, “That’s adorable.”

Troy nodded his agreement as Pierce pushed a small box toward him. In response, Troy inched his chair toward Abed, who was staring at Sophie with an indiscernible expression.

Annie noticed Abed’s eyes on Sophie, and she suddenly felt uncomfortable. He hadn’t known she was pregnant, for she was sure he would have said something in front of the group about it had that been the case, but Sophie’s comments were clearly piquing his interest.

She smiled down at Sophie, who was now looking up at her with wide eyes.

It all seemed to happen in slow motion. She knew Sophie was going to ask right before she did, as she had suspected she would ever since the awkward moment on the playground that morning.

_“You hab babee in you tummy, Mama?”_

Annie instantly felt cornered. She couldn’t very well lie to her daughter, but this wasn’t when and how she wanted to tell her. It was way too soon, and the thought that they’d get Sophie all excited and then what if something happened? She couldn’t bear to think of that, but she needed to.

She couldn’t even look up, but she felt all eyes on her. She continued to regard Sophie, noticing the vulnerability in her expression.

She was conscious of a shuffling sound to her right, and then remembered Jeff was right there. She imagined he was giving one of his nervous guilty expressions, and she knew control was no longer in their hands.

“Annie, just answer her.”

Jeff’s words gave her a surprising rush of relief, and she smiled down at Sophie and replied, “Yes, sweetie. There’s a baby in my tummy.”

Sophie’s expression went from inquisitiveness to utter joy. It was so precious, and Annie’s heart hurt.

_“Babee in you tummy, Mama? Yay!”_

“Yes, sweetie, you’re going to be a big sister.”

_“We hab babee?”_

Sophie placed her hand on her belly, and Annie almost literally melted.

She whispered, “Yes.”

She kissed Sophie on her forehead and, after taking a moment to fully take in Sophie’s happiness and fully feel her own, she slowly lifted her head to see everyone’s expressions.

Shirley was practically bouncing in her seat, her hands clasped in glee. Pierce was regarding her with a tenderness she rarely saw but always appreciated, much like the time he tried to give her the tiara. Troy was smiling broadly and giving them a thumbs up. Abed’s eyes were going back and forth between her and Jeff. Britta appeared to be in shock for some reason.

And Jeff was blushing furiously, his arms crossed protectively over his chest as he leaned back in his chair. She smiled reassuringly at him, and he then appeared to relax slightly as he uncrossed his arms and leaned across to take her hand, which she had already extended.

Britta finally said, “Oh my god! Really, guys?”

They looked at each other, both now letting out chuckles of relief. Jeff turned toward Britta and said, “Yup. Baby Edison-Winger, due sometime around Christmas.”

“Well, technically at Christmas.” Annie smiled sheepishly.

Predictably, Shirley clapped her hands and exclaimed, “I knew it! The Lord has blessed you both! I was just talking to Andre about it, and we figured the little one would be born around that time, but I daren’t think it would be actually possible they’d share the birthday of Jesus!”

Britta’s head whipped to her right and she barked, “That’s not the real birthday of Jesus! But anyway, you knew?!?” Her eyes then went to Annie. “Hey, you promised you’d tell me before you told her!”

“We’re so happy for you guys! See, I told you it would happen and not to stress out over it!” Troy continued to smile and then winked over at Sophie.

“Jeffrey, this calls for a celebration. I’m delighted to know you don’t suffer from super sperm after all. Let’s go for cigars.”

Annie squeaked, and as she heard some judgmental tones from her left, she was reassured by Jeff’s firm hand squeeze.

He said, “Yes, Shirley knew, as apparently she figured it out before we did. Thank you, Shirley, for helping Annie yesterday and for agreeing to let us tell the group ourselves.”

Shirley sat up straighter and lifted her nose as she said, “Not a problem, pumpkin. But apparently everyone here knew you were trying for a baby except for me? Now why is that?”

She was now grinning tightly, and Annie felt bad once again.

She managed, “Shirley, we didn’t tell anyone, but Britta figured it out and asked me, so I told her I’d let her know if anything happened. Pierce overheard some things, and I didn’t know what Troy and Abed knew.” She shrugged and then added, “We didn’t really want to announce anything, because we weren’t really sure if we’d be successful it and we didn’t want to get everyone’s hopes up.” She allowed the tears, which were genuine, pool in her eyes.

Shirley’s expression instantly softened and she scooted her chair closer. Annie allowed her hand to drop from Jeff’s, and she turned to face Shirley.

“Now hon, that’s fine. I’m very happy for you and Jeffrey. And little Sophie here will be such a good sister.” She leaned her head down to Sophie and gave her a kiss.

Annie shifted a giggling Sophie in her lap and looked over at Jeff, who was watching the interaction with bemusement. He then met her gaze and seemed to understand what she wanted him to do next.

He addressed the group, “Guys, we’d appreciate it if you were to keep this news to yourselves. We’re only five weeks,”

Annie smiled as she noticed his word choice.

He continued, “And well, it was important to us that you all know but we don’t want it spread around campus until we’re ready. Can we all agree…Pierce, don’t tweet that!”

“Sorry.”

“Troy, take his phone away.”

“Gotcha, man.”

“Hey, now!”

Using his sternest dad voice, Jeff said, “You get it back by the end of the hour if you behave.”

 

X

X

Annie sat down in her Psychology of Women class, placing her backpack on the floor underneath her desk. She was relieved when she heard the clunking of Britta’s approaching boots.

Looking up, she saw that Britta was regarding her with kindness, and it warmed her heart.

“Hey, Annie.”

“Hey.”

Britta plopped down in her desk and said, “I’m really happy for you guys. I’m sorry if I didn’t make that clear earlier.”

Annie shrugged and then felt her cheeks blushing yet again. She seemed to be running hot in general, and she wasn’t sure if that was a pregnancy thing or if she was just that excited. Probably a mixture of both.

“I was going to tell you before I told Shirley, but apparently she was tracking all my symptoms and confronted me in the ladies room.”

Britta shook her head and let out a low laugh. “I can’t believe you’re gestating a mini-Winger.”

“Now you sound like Jeff. He keeps referring to it as the munchkin fetus.”

Britta chortled.

Annie added, “We can’t really believe it either. I’ve known less than a day, and I didn’t tell Jeff until last night.”

“You weren’t going to tell us today, right?”

She knew Britta was at times perceptive. Once again, she felt a little guilty about their plan to keep the news from the group, and although she had been startled by Sophie’s question earlier, she was relieved that now they all knew, including Sophie.

She explained, “Not until next week. We really wanted to tell Dorie first. But you guys were next on our list.” She smiled at her and hoped she understood.

Luckily, Britta didn’t seem that upset once she had gotten over the Shirley thing. She asked, “Hey when are you guys going to tell Ian? Just so I know. But I can keep a secret.”

“Jeff says he’s going to tell him today, actually. We figured it wasn’t fair to have you keep that from him. But otherwise, that’s it for now.”

 

X

X

“Well Bloody Hell, Winger! You don’t say!”

Jeff rolled his eyes and then continued to pet Ruffles behind her ears while she sniffed the grass.

“Just please don’t spread it around. It’s early.”

“I’m honored you told me, my dear chap.”

Jeff squinted up at him from his kneeling position and once again wondered internally if Ian was even really British. He continually embodied some of the most intense stereotypes.

He said aloud, “You’re welcome. We told Britta, so we figured it was only a matter of time til you knew, and we’re telling my mom this weekend, so…?” He shrugged and then gave Ruffles one more pat before he stood.

Ian jingled Ruffles leash, and they walked along, letting her smell the various small trees on the west lawn of campus. It was oddly comforting for some reason. Once again Jeff internally marveled at the fact that he and Ian used to hang out exclusively in bars. Now they were positively domestic.

Jeff finally said, “Sophie figured it out and asked, so we told her, but we didn’t want to really do that just yet.” He hesitated and then asked, “When is it a good time to explain something like that to a child her age? And what do we do if…?” He let the question linger in the air, acutely aware he didn’t want to finish it.

Ian stopped and turned to him. With a heavy sigh, he replied, “Look, she knows. Don’t concern yourself with other potentialities at present.”

“You’re right.”

“Of course I am. Now, the only real issue I can see is that eight months is a very long time for a child that age to wait. She’s likely going to get pretty antsy about it, then probably bored, then she’ll forget, and then she’ll become literally obsessed. Prepare for a terrific ride, my friend.” He slapped Jeff on the back, and they both chuckled.

It was then Jeff spotted Abed approaching, and he cringed for some reason. Judging by Abed’s lack of discernable reaction in group coupled with his steadfastness at present, something strange was afoot.

Ian followed his gaze and mumbled, “I’m so uncomfortable around that boy. Likely because he hates me. See you later.”

With that, he scurried off in the opposite direction with Ruffles.

Jeff watched him go and then turned to face Abed, who was now unnervingly mere inches from him and regarding him with some intensity.

“Yes?”

Abed launched right into it, “Jeff, this is quite the plot development.”

Jeff nodded and placed his hand lightly on Abed’s shoulder. He said, “It is, buddy. Thank you for congratulating us.”

Abed cocked his head. “But I didn’t.”

Jeff continued to nod, tightening his close-lipped smile.

Abed continued, “But I am happy. “

“Thank you.”

“This situation will create a new narrative arc.”

“Ah. I suppose it will.” Jeff lifted his hand and began walking along, Abed keeping up at his side.

“Is it a boy or girl?”

“It’s way too early to know that.”

“When will you know?”

“I suppose…” he paused, realizing he had no clue. Another question for Annie. He should probably be keeping track of all of them so he could be more efficient when they met up later.

“I don’t know. I’ll ask Annie.”

Abed persisted, “I’d like to know as soon as possible.”

Jeff stopped and abruptly turned toward him, causing him to crash into his shoulder. Abed stepped back and merely blinked.

“This is none of your business.” He glanced around to make sure no one was within earshot and then hissed, “I know what you’re getting at. Listen, there is no Evil!Sadie. If it’s a girl, I don’t want you talking about stuff like that. Give the kid a chance to be whoever she is. Do we have an understanding?”

Abed shrugged. “Sure thing, Jeff.”

“Good.”

Abed glanced down and appeared to think about something before resuming his gaze. Jeff wondered if the guy could relax a little about this whole thing. The obsessiveness was too much.

He supposed he should take his own advice and relax a little too. He didn’t need to worry about evil!babies and all that. He was actually pretty confident these days that the mingling of his and Annie’s DNA would turn out to be something pretty amazing. He supposed that was a breakthrough. He’d have to call his therapist.

He looked at Abed and waited, knowing they were not finished with the conversation, as much as he’d like to be.

Abed finally said, “I suppose the evil timeline storyline was getting stale. Time to shake things up.”

“Exactly, Abed.”

“Cool cool cool.”

They resumed their walk through the quad, Abed humming some light jazz. Jeff felt pretty content himself, relieved that he and Abed were on the same page. Life was just too darn incredible these days to spiral down into potential crazy plots.

As they approached the library, Abed stopped them and said, “If you don’t mind, I’d like to go with you and Annie to pick up Sophie from daycare.”

Jeff frowned, wondering where this was going. Once again, he waited.

Abed smiled slightly and explained, “Sophie invited me for ice cream. She said you were taking her after school.”

 

 

 

 

 

 


	5. Introduction to Explosives Engineering

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> They tell Dorie

“Now what are we going to say to Grandma?” Annie asked as she was turned half way around from her spot in the front seat so that she could see Sophie.

They had been rehearsing the plan all morning, but it was always a crapshoot if Sophie would follow along with things. She supposed it wouldn’t be a big deal if Sophie shouted out the news, but she didn’t want to rob Jeff of his moment.

Sophie’s eyes were dancing, and she noticeably flushed for a moment before she clutched the baby doll on her lap and squeaked, _“Hi Gamma! I lub you!”_ She then tilted her head and added, in an almost comically gravely tone, _“Und we do-n’t say baby.”_

Annie nodded and said, “That’s right, sweetie. Who tells Grandma about the baby?”

_“Daddy do it.”_

“Yes, that’s right. Daddy gets to tell his mommy about the new baby.”

Sophie nodded emphatically and then pushed the doll in her face to deafen a sudden rush of squeals. Annie smiled and then turned back to face the front of the car, noticing that Jeff, who was driving, readily placed his hand back on her belly.

She let her left hand fall onto his and said, “She’s good.”

He arched a brow but was suppressing a smirk as he asked, “Are we absolutely sure of that?”

“Well, no, but it’ll be fine.”

He bit his lip and let out a soft chuckle, uncharacteristically relaxing his shoulders. At the sight of some traffic up ahead, he reluctantly moved his hand back to the steering wheel, muttering to himself, “I can’t have us get into a crash.”

“Jeff.”

“I’m good.”

 

X

X

Soon they arrived, and Jeff took a moment to stare up at the sunny yellow house. He remembered when his mom had someone come to paint it, for it used to be a dark shade of blue. He hadn’t been a fan of yellow himself, and he thought it was an unneeded expense, but his mom had hushed his concerns and been adamant that he didn’t need to worry about things like that, explaining that she could afford it and more importantly, it would symbolize starting over. It had been about a week after the divorce was finalized.

He hadn’t ever stopped worrying about their finances, but he had learned to appreciate the yellow. And he knew she loved the house, in spite of the painful memories it held, and that was why he eventually bought it for her from their landlord. The thought of his mother having a place to live, especially if something terrible were to happen to him, made him sleep slightly better at nights.

He smirked as he heard Annie talking with Sophie as she was unbuckling her from the car seat.

“Now, maybe we should put the baby doll away for a few minutes, just until Daddy tells Grandma the big news.”

_“No, I wanna baby.”_

“We’ll just put her in your backpack here, and then you can take her out after Daddy talks to Grandma, okay? She’ll be right here.”

_“Okay, Mama. I hab Bear?”_

“Yes, you can have your bear. And remember, let Daddy talk to Grandma first.”

_“I got it, Mama. No talka baby, id a supwise.”_

Jeff felt his cheeks become hot, he supposed with a mixture of self-conscious pride in their smart little girl, and excitement and nervousness about talking to his mom. He had been rehearsing it, but the way he told her always kept changing, and he couldn’t quite figure out the optimal way to do it.

Who was he kidding? As Annie kept pointing out, the fact they were going to give her another grandchild was the most important thing, and it probably didn’t matter in the least how they told her.

But still. This was his mom. He wanted to make the moment absolutely perfect. He let out a long sigh and then turned back to the SUV, opening the side door to let Ruffles out of her carrier as Annie wrangled Sophie out of the other side.

He winked at Sophie, and she smiled in response.

They somehow managed to get everyone to the front door, and as he was about to knock, his mother opened it with a grin.

“Hello dears.”

She stepped back to allow them entry, and they did the usual scramble to put down belongings, unclip Ruffles, and give hugs. Dorie knelt down to greet Sophie and, after a kiss, motioned for her backpack, but Sophie clutched it to her chest and stared at Dorie with what Jeff noticed was an expression of impatient joy.

Hell, she was going to blab if he didn’t do it first.

With a loud sigh, he said, “Munchkin, put your backpack down and give Grandma a hug.”

Sophie looked up at him and shook her head and then proceeded to point at her bag as she explained, _“I not open it yet, Daddy. Gamma no secwet. Not until Daddy tell Gamma.”_

He briefly closed his eyes as he felt Annie’s hand squeeze and heard her stifle a laugh. He then opened his eyes and caught his mother’s puzzled expression.

She frowned for a moment and then said to Sophie,” It’s fine, dear. You don’t have to hug me.” She continued in a light and playful tone, “But my oh my, what on earth is in your backpack?”

Sophie smirked and then shook her head. _“I not tell. Right, Mama? No tell?_ ”

Annie smiled and nodded down to her and then shifted her eyes to Jeff, and he knew there was no better moment than the present.

He loudly cleared his throat and said, “Mom, we have something we’d like to share with you.”

At this, Dorie stood and turned to him with an inquisitive expression. She proceeded to pat a now giggling Sophie on the head as Sophie wrapped her arms around her leg, crushing the backpack in between them.

He continued to hold Annie’s hand and felt her give him another signal of reassurance, and he knew he couldn’t hold back any longer. He looked down at her and she smiled once again.

Now giving his mother his most boyish of looks, the one he often used when he had gotten into some sort of mischief as a child, he said simply, “Mom, you’re going to be a grandma again.”

At this, his mother’s eyes went wide and there was an almost imperceptible squeak.

“Oh, Jeffrey! Really?”

He nodded emphatically as he pulled a chuckling Annie into his side and replied, “Yeah, we’re having another baby.”

Not since Sophie’s adoption had he felt so proud and yet self-conscious. He supposed that made sense, but there was also something about this moment that made it more intimate between him and his mother. He supposed passing down a bloodline or some such crap was behind that, but he also liked to think it was because, although he had given her a heads up a few months ago, it was maybe a little unexpected. After all, she and pretty much the rest of the world had known for some time that he was Sophie’s father and the adoption was merely a formality. But now there was intentional procreation going on. That was a whole new territory.

Dorie eyes went back and forth between them, and a flush formed over her cheeks as she said, “That’s wonderful!” She then proceeded to attempt to step toward them to undoubtedly wrap them into a hug, but she was thwarted by Sophie who was still smooshed to her leg. At this realization, she looked down and pet through Sophie’s curls and said, “My my, you’re going to have a little baby sister or brother?”

Sophie now craned her neck up and she was smiling broadly. She replied, _“Yah, Mama hab baby. Und I hab baby in my backpack. But I not tell, Gamma. Daddy tell.”_

Dorie shot Jeff and Annie a look of bemusement, and then she regarded Sophie once again as she said, “That’s amazing, dear. Maybe we could all do a group hug?”

With this, Sophie nodded and dropped her backpack with a loud thud, which elicited a laugh from the rest of them. Annie reached down to pick up Sophie, and Jeff instinctively stopped her, casting her a look of concern, to which she rolled her eyes.

He quickly explained, “I’ll pick her up.”

“I can still do that. I told you, I’m fine.”

“No, I’ll….”

Now undoubtedly impatient, Dorie piped in, “Let’s just all hug like this.” She motioned them to come in closer, including Sophie standing at her side.

Jeff quickly acquiesced, and he felt a wave a comfort as his mom wrapped one arm around his shoulder and pressed her head into his chest with a murmur.

As they pulled out of the embrace, Dorie looked at both him and Annie with moist eyes and said, “You two just made my day.”

Annie blushed and said, “We couldn’t wait to tell you. We just found out the other day, but we wanted to tell you in person.”

Dorie smiled reassuringly. “I’m really happy you did.”

She followed up on this simple statement with louder squeak and then wrapped her arms around Annie.

Jeff reached down and scooped up Sophie, giving her a growling kiss on her cheek. He whispered, “You did great, munchkin.”

She giggled and then suddenly glanced down at the floor with her mouth in a wide _O_. He waited for her to explain, which she then did.

_“Oh no. I dwopped my baby.”_

He couldn’t wait to show her how to be more careful with the real deal.

 

X

X

It was a few minutes later, after Sophie finally liberated her lightly bruised baby doll from her backpack and allowed Annie to shoo her toward the backyard where they were told Buzz was setting up something special for Sophie, that Jeff was alone with this mother. They stood in the kitchen and Dorie handed him a mug of freshly brewed coffee, motioning him to sit. He cast a glance out the window and saw Sophie running with squeals towards the open arms of Buzz, Annie walking after her, holding the baby doll and bear. He then turned back toward his mother and sat down opposite her.

He not very casually remarked, “I didn’t know Buzz would be here.” 

Casting her steely eyes on him, Dorie tapped her mug. “Really? You just gave me the most wonderful news. Can we please talk about that?”

He smirked more broadly and cocked his head as he said, “Okay, fine.”

She scooted closer and moved her mug to the side before she proceeded to smack him lightly on his arm, and he grinned in response.

“Annie’s pregnant?”

“Yeah, mom, that’s what we meant about another grandchild. I hope you didn’t still think the stork brought them, because if so you and I are going to have an awkward conversation.”

She bit her lip and then squinted at him, and he felt a rush of giddiness. He loved making her happy.

“Now, Jeffrey, I am simply too delighted to let your sarcasm ruin anything.”

He began to sip his coffee as he waited for whatever she else had to say. He hadn’t really thought through this part, and the newness of this situation once again hit him. As he had learned throughout his past few years a Greendale, new things could be great.

She continued with the hint of bemusement in her voice, “A moment ago Sophie told me there was a baby in Annie’s tummy, so I’m guessing you didn’t give her the stork lecture either.”

He placed down is mug and groaned, “She knows babies are in tummies. We’ve had friends who have had babies. And we were going to wait to tell her, but she asked Annie… so it was kind of unavoidable.”

Dorie tilted her head in thought for a moment and then said, “She asked?”

“We may have been attempting to covertly discuss it in front of her and were maybe not so covert.”

She chuckled and said, “She’s so precious.” She then stilled for a moment before smirking and adding, “But she might not know how babies get in tummies?”

“Eh, she’s too young to think about it.”

“Really? Now, I don’t think so. Be prepared to explain it to her.”

He suddenly felt his stomach drop, and judging by his mother’s subsequent expression, she noticed. Quickly attempting to affect an aura of nonchalance, he said, “She’s three. We’re not going to have _the talk_ with her. I’m sure it won’t even come up.”

His mother was now placing her hand over her mouth, and it annoyed him for some reason. He stared at her until she removed it.

“Now dear, she’s almost four. I would fully expect her to ask, at least at some point before the baby’s born. And you should be ready with an explanation. Now, I have some ideas…”

“Mom.”

She stopped, and he felt momentarily vindicated. But a tiny part of him though knew she was probably right. He had been toying with the idea of _special hugs_ as some sort of thing to say, but he knew he’d need to discuss that idea with Annie.

He cleared his throat and asked, “When did you have the talk with me?”

She smiled smugly and laced her fingers together on the table, taking several moments to conjure up the memory. She then replied, “You were about four or five. You had asked me about the baby birds in the backyard, so I gave you a basic explanation. I then told you about bees.”

“So you literally gave me talk about the birds and the bees?”

“Yes, dear. It surprised me, really, but it was a bit of relief, to be honest. You readily accepted it and moved on. It wasn’t until you were eight that your friend Jake’s mother was pregnant and you started to have a lot of questions. Now that was much more awkward.”

Jeff found himself laughing now, realizing that as much as he tended to assume his mother had always existed as his mother, at some point she likely had had no more clue than he did about what to tell a child.

He hunched forward and said, “Now that I think about it, I vaguely remember you taking me to neighbor’s house to see their pregnant cat and then meet her new kittens. Or was it a farm?”

“It was Maybelle’s old farm. That’s why we got Hugs.”

He considered this information, and for some reason he had forgotten Maybelle hadn’t always lived next door. But he couldn’t remember why they had known her or how he and his mother had gotten to the farm. He couldn’t imagine his father would have driven them there or had anything to do with the countryside. He had always been pretty drunk.

With a pang in his chest, he merely reflected aloud, “Hugs was a good cat.”

“He was. Such a dear little kitten. His little stripes.” She traced what he assumed was an outline of a kitten onto the table with her index finger, and he wondered again how she raised him alone. He knew he was eight when his father left. Maybe that’s why they went to the farm? The kitten must have been after that, as his father hadn’t wanted anything to do with pets. Plus they had gotten the dog, too.

To make him feel safe.

The jumbled timeline nudging at his brain, he managed to ask, “When did I fully understand the concept of sex?”

She smiled wryly and took a sip of her coffee. She then placed it on the table and replied, “Not until you were a little older. We read a book.”

He winced.

She continued, “Don’t worry about that with Sophie right now, dear. Give her an age appropriate explanation, and only answer her questions.”

He nodded and they exchanged conspiratorial grins.

He felt his expression falter as he remembered why they had wanted to wait until telling Sophie. He said, “It’s early. We um, only want to tell people who are close to us. You know, just in case.”

She reached across the table, not having to go far as they were both hunched toward each other by now, and patted his hand.

He continued, “She’s going to call Nancy this afternoon, but otherwise we’re hitting pause on sharing the news for awhile.”

His mother smiled slightly, and she allowed her hand to remain over his. She tilted her head and said in a more serious tone, “I had been hoping for this day, when the two of you were ready.”

He shrugged. “Well, I told you we were trying.”

“Before that.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes. I figured you two would want to expand your family, and little Sophie will be such a good big sister.”

“She’s pretty excited. So am I.”

“You’re a good father, Jeffrey, and I am delighted that you will get to know this child from the first day. We all will. We’ll love them so much.”

He noticed his eyes were blurry and he didn’t even try to fight his usual instinct to gulp it all down. He vaguely registered that his mother seemed surprised at his now free flowing tears, but it didn’t bother him in the least.

He was much more emotional these days. It was hormonal.

 

X

X

Annie watched as an inquisitive Sophie continued her conversation with Buzz, doing her best to avoid stepping on a loose wooden board that was still on the grass in front of the tree.

_“Und it MY house?”_ Sophie was staring upward with wonder, her mouth fully hanging open.

From his crouched position, Buzz answered, “Yeah, kid, it’s yours. But you gotta share it with your cousins.”

Her eyes still sparkling, she turned to him and asked, _” Sam come und pway wid me in it today?”_

“I don’t know. We could call him.” Buzz cast Annie a wry look and then smirked back down at Sophie as he stood, “Let me show you how it works.” He then reached down and hoisted her up, taking a moment to point at the wide steps with rope handles. “These are to hold onto, but you need a grown up to help you up, okay?”

Sophie nodded.

He placed her on the steps, and she grabbed the ropes. He held onto her as she carefully climbed, and he slowly followed behind her.

It was a sweet moment, and Annie couldn’t help but marvel at the fact that her little baby girl was old enough to have a tree house. She was growing up so fast, her chubby babyness slowly but surely falling away. Her face had even begun to take on a more child as apposed to toddler appearance, and she could start to envision what Sophie might look like when she was grown.

As often as Jeff had commented on it, she did realize Sophie looked a lot like her. She was silently thankful Sophie didn’t resemble her biological father that much, although she did catch hints of him now and then in her profile or when she scrunched up her mouth or jutted out her chin. She was sure Jeff noticed, but they never spoke of it. She knew he was feeling more confident about their relationship ever since he adopted her, so Annie didn’t feel the need to dissect it. It was just one of those things they accepted, and it was normal.

She lightly touched her belly and wondered what the new baby would look like. She was not so secretly hoping for a mini Jeff, but he didn’t seem to care. She actually suspected he wanted another girl, but she didn’t really know why she thought that.

She stepped closer as Sophie’s head emerged from in between two wide slats on the side of the tree house.

_“I up high, Mama! Id my house.”_

“I see, sweetie. You’re so up high.”

_“Buzz make dis for me. Bear und baby like it too?”_

Annie laughed and at the appearance of Buzz’ head and his motioning of her to ascend, she placed the baby doll and bear under her arm in a tight squeeze and then climbed up. It wasn’t really that high of a tree, but she hoped Jeff wasn’t watching from the house, as he was being overprotective over the past couple days. It was sweet, but at the same time she wanted to take advantage of the time she had now when she wasn’t as big as a whale to play with their daughter. She got to the top and crouched inside a surprisingly roomy structure.

Sophie was sitting next to Buzz near the back wall, and the place was littered with decorative pillows and surprisingly number of small rubber balls. She spied a pile of drawing paper and a plastic box full of crayons and sidewalk chalk under the right side window.

She turned her attentions back to Buzz and smiled as she placed the baby doll and bear to her side.

“This is amazing. Thank you.”

He shrugged and tossed a ball over at her, which she caught from her seated position, as there was no room for an adult to stand. She almost laughed at the thought of Jeff attempting to fit himself inside, but she was fairly certain he would at some point, if only to share a moment of silliness with Sophie.

Sophie giggled her excitement at having her in her tree house. Annie scooted her way over toward them, and Sophie proceeded to throw herself at her and bury herself into her lap. Annie gave her a kiss on the head and then said to Buzz, “I really mean it. You didn’t have to do this.”

“Eh, I had wood and tools.”

“This must have taken you awhile.”

“I’ve been working on it over the past few weeks.”

She allowed Sophie to leave her arms and get her baby doll and bear, noticing Sophie was now apparently showing them the crayons and chalk. She marveled at this moment, how her daughter could have such a loving figure in her life, another person who was not a blood relation but who took a much-needed role.

Sophie wouldn’t have a grandfather if it weren’t for Buzz Hickey, and at times when he wasn’t exiling himself she supposed Pierce, and at that realization, while painful in some respects, also filled her heart with love.

“Aw, you don’t have to cry. I like your kid, and I just wanted to do something fun for her. Plus Dorie makes a mean lemonade.”

She chuckled through what she realized were fairly large tears, and then wiped her face. She glanced up and noticed he was staring at her in that same caring way he did that day in the Dean’s office when she had told him about creepy Professor Cornwallis.

She managed, “I’m just really grateful you’ve taken an interest in Sophie. She doesn’t really have a grandfather. It means a lot to me.”

She noticed the flush of pink across his cheeks and wondered if she had been too direct. Although they both knew he had pretty much assumed that role, neither one of them up until this point had voiced it, and she was aware of his prickly nature.

But he had never really been that standoffish with her.

To her relief, he gave her a rare slight smile and said, “She deserves to have a grandfather. Those other jerks don’t know what they’re missing.”

Instinctively, she scooted closer and allowed her head to fall on his shoulder, knowing that he wasn’t going to pull away. Her eyes went to Sophie, who was now approaching them, her baby doll in her arms.

Annie suddenly realized she hadn’t told him. It wasn’t something that she and Jeff had really discussed, and she had a brief moment of considering that she should get his thoughts on it before making up her own mind.

But it wasn’t really a question anyway. Jeff would understand.

_“I not tell Buzz?”_

Annie smiled and sat up straight, aware that Buzz’ hand had been on her shoulder and had now fallen away. She addressed Sophie and clapped her hands playfully as she said, “I think you should tell him!”

Sophie’s eyes lit up and she immediately pounced at Buzz, who instinctively pulled back, which for some reason Annie found pretty funny.

He cocked his head and asked, “Tell me what?”

Sophie inched closer and held up her baby doll as she exclaimed, _“We hab baby! I be sissster! But we wait until baby weady. Baby not weady yet. Baby in Mama’s tummy.”_

Sophie was now smiling triumphantly, her chest puffing out as she watched for a reaction. Annie turned toward him and at his incredulous expression, again a rarity, she merely shrugged.

He asked softly, “You are?”

She nodded and then said, “Jeff and I really wanted to give her a little sister or brother. She’s been asking for awhile, and well, it just felt like a good time.” With a slight hesitation, she then added, “And I wanted to have the baby before I do my forensics internship. Do you think it’ll be okay?

He took a moment to regard her, his expression unreadable at first but then his eyes watered almost imperceptivity, but she saw it.

“You don’t need my approval.”

“I know, but I want to know what you think.”

He patted her on the knee and once again looking at her with a flash of what she now recognized was concern, said in a low voice, “You’re a great mother, and you’ll have an excellent career in forensics. People do it different ways, and the most important thing is that you’re doing what’s right for you. Are you happy?”

“Yes, I am.”

“Then, that’s what’s important. Congratulations.”

He then turned to Sophie and said, “That’s pretty terrific. Are you excited?”

_“Yeeeees!!! I sooo ex-ci-ted! I lub baby!”_

With a chuckle, he remarked, “You’re going to have a lot to teach them, and when the time is right, you’re going to have to help me put on an addition to this tree house.”

 

X

X

Annie washed out Sophie’s sippy cup in the kitchen sink, watching out the window at Buzz and Sophie filled up some brightly colored objects from the hose. She frowned, wondering if this could possibly be going anywhere good, as she could have sworn she saw Buzz snicker as Jeff made his way from the house out toward them.

She took a moment to shake the water out of the cup before reaching for a drying cloth. Dorie rushed over and handed it to her, and Annie smiled in appreciation. She continued to be grateful that Jeff had such a great mother, and she realized that after spending many holidays and meals with her over the past few years, she felt very much at home with her, especially in this house. It was surreal to think that Dorie and Jeff had experienced such trauma here, and that they were eventually able to transform it into a loving space.

But she knew Dorie had always deeply loved Jeff, even if his father had been a monster. Dorie, who had been only nineteen when she had him. She could relate to her so much, and she reflected on the long talks they had shared about being teen moms and essentially single parenting an infant.

She placed the sippy cup on the towel and suddenly turned to hug Dorie, and she smiled as she heard the light gasp of surprise.

“I love you so much.”

They held the embrace for more than a few moments, and Annie felt Dorie’s reassuring squeeze.

As they pulled apart, Dorie wiped her eye and exclaimed, “Me too.”

Annie didn’t know what to say, but she felt the urge to convey how much wonder she felt at being able to give Dorie another grandchild. It would probably sound silly coming out of her mouth, but she needed to try.

“I’m really happy you’re the baby’s grandmother.”

Dorie tilted her head said, “Thank you. I’m very happy you’re the baby’s mother.” She arched a brow and then suppressed a laugh.

At Annie’s blush, Dorie explained, “My son could have chosen many women, after all he’s very handsome and charming, but I don’t think I would have liked any of them. You’re the best person for him, and you are the closest I will ever have to a daughter.”

“Awww.”

They took a few moments to regard one another. Annie felt a bittersweet emotion as she considered that it was beyond doubt that Dorie was much more meaningful to her in her present life than her own mother. It was a thought that would have ridden her with anxiety and guilt a couple years ago, but it was now something she could accept. Although she and her mother were getting along better and she didn’t want to deprive Sophie of her Bubbe and her uncle, she could never forgive her for leaving her in the hospital.

As if on cue, Dorie asked in a motherly tone, “How are you feeling?”

She placed her hand on her abdomen and said, “I’m good. Just a little tired, but I don’t even know if that’s a pregnancy thing. And my chest is a little sore.”

“Only a little?”

“It’s pretty sore.” Annie winced as she lightly touched her chest, and she was reassured by Dorie’s kind expression in response.

“Jeffrey tells me it’s still early, but you will let me know if you don’t want to eat something I make? I promise I won’t be offended. And I can always send Buzz to the store.”

“Thanks, but my appetite’s fine. I’m just a little more emotional.” She considered the casual mention of Buzz, and her stomach flipped, which she was certain was not a pregnancy thing. She was excited.

She stepped closer to Dorie and said in a teasing tone, “Buzz has been here a lot.”

Dorie shrugged and glanced out the window, almost absentmindedly replying, “He’s been very good to me. We have a nice time.”

“Have you met his kids?” She was curious about Buzz’ family and although he had confided in her some things, she wondered if there had been any change lately. The thought of Buzz being all alone made her want to cry.

A lot of things were making her presently want to cry, but she was pretty sure her tears for Buzz and his family made sense.

With a slight frown and still watching the backyard, Dorie replied, “Just Furio. He and his husband are lovely. We had dinner about a month ago. Abed and Troy joined us.”

Annie stared at her wide-eyed.

At the silence, Dorie explained, “Frankly, I was surprised myself, but Abed told me he and Buzz are working on a film. Now Buzz denies it, but I’m certain Abed is doing something important. What he did with your story was so loving and thoughtful. So I explained to Buzz that he and that dear Troy needed to have a decent meal. You should have seen what they ate….”

Impatient at the thought of losing the thread, Annie interjected, “What about Hank?”

“He’s a different story, and it makes me so sad to think that Buzz can’t see Sebastian that often. He loves children.”

Annie moved next to her and put her arm around her, and they both regarded Buzz now sitting on the lawn with a pile of water balloons to his side and Sophie on his lap. Jeff was standing in front of them seemingly looking for dog toys as the dogs swirled around him, and Buzz and Sophie were staring at him blankly, but barely holding back laughter.

Annie said, “He’s so sweet with her. Maybe we can talk to Hank?”

“I don’t think it’s really our place, dear.”

“Does he stay over?”

At this, she felt Dorie stiffen, and she wondered if she had crossed a line. They had always had a fairly informal relationship, but this was new territory.

She added quickly, “I mean, he was here for breakfast a few weeks ago when we came to pick up Sophie. And if he did stay over, I think that’s great, I…”

\--“I would never have him stay over while I was babysitting Sophie.”

“Why not?”

Dorie turned to her and regarded her with some intensity in her expression, and Annie couldn’t read her. Taking a moment to think, she then explained, “It’s important for Sophie to know she has my undivided attention, especially when she’s staying here overnight and away from her parents. I keep my door open and hers so she can come get me. Usually she crawls in bed with me at some point.”

“Oh.”

“So you see, it wouldn’t be very proper.”

“But he’s here other times?”

Dorie now smirked and then shook her head. “I don’t actually allow that either. It’s very important to me to have my independence. So you can reassure Jeffrey.” She patted her patronizingly on her arm.

“Jeff didn’t tell me to ask. He actually hasn’t even mentioned it.”

“Really?”

“No, and besides, I think he’s way too excited about the new baby. He’s been so sweet. It’s really nice to see him consistently happy.”

They shared a knowing smile and then Dorie’s eyes went to the window, and her expression morphed into one of shock.

“Oh my!”

 

X

X

Jeff had come out of the house a few minutes earlier and at the suspicious sight of Sophie and Buzz near the hose, did his best to attend to Hank and Ruffles, making sure to turn away as often as possible.

But it had gotten a bit tedious, as he hadn’t felt anything thudding against him after several minutes, and he had needed to go grab a doggy toy or stick so that the dogs would stop slobbering on him. He finally turned around and made his way toward Sophie and Buzz, curious now they both were sitting eerily still with a pile of rubber objects in front of them.

He considered that Buzz had been growing on him. He certainly trusted him with Sophie, as Annie had attested to his appropriateness and reliability for a while now, but he had also witnessed it more himself over the past few months. While usually their visits to his mother’s were Buzz-free, he had been popping up more lately, and he noticed he had been present for breakfast a few weeks ago. He hadn’t asked his mom about that, mostly because he didn’t really want to know. But he had observed his mother very content these days, and it was obvious Buzz was smitten with her. Although he usually had a steely expression, it would crack when he was either with Sophie or his mom. Sometimes it was subtle, but Jeff caught it.

His mother deserved to be happy, and this house certainly needed a man around who would fix it, like Buzz had with the shelves. It needed someone to bring out its innate beauty and cleanse it, he supposed something like metaphorical sage burning.

God, he was even thinking like a sap these days.

Giving as neutral of expression as he could muster, he whistled and as he bent down to pick up a squeaky toy.

He mused, “I’m sure Ruffles will love to play with this. And perhaps Hank would like the noisier one,” he then also selected the large bone-shaped squeaker, “so he can hear it better. It’s too bad I have to play with them all by myself.”

_“You not by self, Daddy. I pway!”_

He turned toward Sophie and exclaimed, “Wow, I didn’t see you there. You’re really quiet.”

He bit his lip and waited as Buzz whispered something to Sophie.

Closing his eyes in anticipation, he was relieved when he heard the shriek and then the pelting began.

“Jeffrey!”

He smiled at the sound of his mother’s voice and allowed himself to fall to the ground.

 

X

X

“Crap, where are we going to put them?”

Annie arched a brow as she waited for Jeff to move through whatever was swirling in his brain at present.

It had been an eventful afternoon, and after the water balloon assault, Sophie had been intent on showing Jeff and Dorie her new tree house. Everyone had taken turns crawling up there, and afterward there had been the pelting of Hickey with rubber balls from it as Sophie and Jeff cackled.  Annie had yelled at them to stop, but she had been pretty sure Buzz was loving it, and plus Buzz was the one who had armed the tree house in the first place. Dorie had indulged it all before procuring the hose and setting it loose on a disembarking Jeff, which then ended up with all of them getting wet, including Hank and Ruffles.

It had been a fun and carefree day, but now it was evening and they had given the dogs baths and put Sophie to bed. Buzz had excused himself to head back home, Jeff perhaps slightly relieved.

Presently, Jeff was standing in the doorway and staring at Sophie in her little bed, and Annie was at his side, rubbing her hand over his back. She knew he tended to fret about things, but she had been hoping that today would be different.

She let out a sigh and glanced up at him, noticing his eyes were still on Sophie. She said in as reassuring of a tone as she could muster, “This room’s huge. There’s plenty of space in here for the crib, just like your mother sets it up when Braden and Sam are here.”

“I meant at home.”

“Newborns don’t need their own room. Remember, Sophie stayed with me in Dildopolis, and that worked.” She smiled up at him with encouragement, and he appeared skeptical.

She motioned for him to follow her, and they closed Sophie’s door, being careful to leave it open a crack for Ruffles and/or Sophie to escape at some point if they so chose.

As they made their way down the hallway, he said, “Okay, that’s fine for a little bit, but then what? Do we have Sophie and the baby share that tiny bedroom at our place? That might get kind of crazy.”

She furrowed her brow and considered his words. It wasn’t something she had really thought through, as up until recently the idea of another baby was merely a concept, but she supposed he had a point. But she still thought he was jumping ahead and that it wasn’t a productive thing with which to concern them at present.

As if he read her mind, he added, “And I know you think I’m over thinking things, which okay, maybe I am getting a little ahead of myself, but let’s be honest, life would be easier if we had another bedroom.”

She shrugged. “I suppose we could look into a three bedroom when the baby’s older?”

She hoped that would settle things for now, so she was surprised when he kept going.

“Right. But we have to consider school district, because if you want Sophie in 4K or…. Wait, are we going with your mom’s preschool this year or are we just throwing her back at Greendale? Can we even do that if I’m not a student and you’re taking a semester off? Are you taking a semester off? When are you graduating? And how are we going to take care of a newborn and four year old? And what if we have twins?”

She stopped him at the top of the stairs, and cranked her head to meet his gaze, not being at all surprised that his eyes were panicky. She took his hands in hers and was relieved when he closed his eyes.

“Crap, I’m sorry.”

“It’s okay. We have a lot to talk about.”

“Even I know it’s not the time.”

“True, but we should make time. But to answer a couple of your questions right now, I think it would make sense for me to attend classes this fall and take the spring semester off. I can finish up the following year.”

She noticed his shoulders relax, and she smiled compassionately in anticipation of him reopening his eyes, which he momentarily did.

“That sounds wise. Good plan.”

“Thank you.”

“And you’re right, we’ll figure everything else out.”

“We will. Because we’re a team.”

“Yeah, I guess we don’t need to get too worked up just yet about living arrangements and newborn care. It’ll be enough to just slowly freak out about the fact that the munchkin fetus cells are rapidly dividing.”

“You’re so sweet.”

“And I suppose if they’re twins, we’ll figure it out and join a circus.”

They chuckled and then leaned in. As they softly kissed, they were interrupted by Dorie’s voice, as unbeknownst to them, she was also upstairs and had just emerged from her bedroom.

“Now what’s this about living arrangements and newborn care?” She stepped over to them and stood by awkwardly as Annie disengaged her arms from around Jeff’s neck and he stepped back, allowing his hands to fall from her waist.

With a wearied sigh, Jeff said, “Nothing, mom. I was just getting ahead of myself.”

Dorie nodded and seemed to contemplate something for a moment. She then said, “Your place is a little small. You should move somewhere larger, preferably someplace where the children have more room to play. They should have a yard.”

“Yeah, we’ll think about it.” Jeff cast Annie an apologetic look.

Dorie continued, “And somewhere you could get help more easily with the baby. You’ll have your hands full with Sophie too and with starting up your new law firm, and Annie dear with going back to finish your degree, not to mention graduate school.”

Jeff exchanged another look with Annie, and then smiled reassuringly at his mother.  

“Yes mom, we’ll figure it out.”

It was only about a second before she said it, that they both knew what was coming.

“You could move in with me.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	6. Advanced Maternal Landmine Diffusion Techniques

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie’s day doesn’t go according to plan

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Not for the squeamish.

It had been a couple weeks since the visit to Dorie’s, and Annie was hoping Jeff would calm down. But she supposed it was also nearing the end of the semester and his graduation (only about two more weeks!), and he was likely low-key freaking out about that as well.

She padded up to him and wrapped her arms around his torso, feeling him tense slightly at the likely surprise and then almost instantly relax.

She really wanted him to relax.

She could hear the smile in his voice as he continued to flip the pancakes on the stovetop.

“Hold on now, they’re almost ready.”

Rubbing his chest, which was one of her favorite pastimes, she said, “I love you.”

He took a few moments to finish up and placed the pancakes in a pile on a plate, and she reluctantly allowed her arms to fall away so that he could proceed. He eventually turned to her and pulled her into his chest, murmuring into the top of her head, “Love you too.”

“Everything okay?”

She looked up at him and searched his face for clues. He had been preoccupied this morning, insisting on taking over pancake duty from her as he kept saying he didn’t want her to overexert herself. It had been silly of course, as making breakfast wasn’t that strenuous of an activity and she wasn’t made of glass, but she suspected it was because he needed something concrete to do.

Ever since his mother dropped her bombshell question, he had been irritable off and on. They had only briefly spoken about it after he had adamantly told his mother _‘No,’_ pretty much agreeing that while it was a lovely thought, it wasn’t what they wanted to do. She had thought that would have been the end of it, but she suspected she was missing something.

He smiled slightly and replied, “Yeah.”

“Are things between you and your mom okay?” She waited patiently for a response, noting his eyes flickered to the side and he almost imperceptibly gulped before he replied.

“She’s not that upset.”

“Really?”

“Christ, Annie, she’s always been pushy. You don’t even know the half of it. But anyway, I’m sure it’ll blow over.”

She frowned as she considered his words. As far as she knew, Dorie had promptly dropped the subject, at least with her, smiling politely and stating that she understood and it was only a suggestion but of course they could do what was best for their family. But she had overheard Jeff on the phone a couple times, and although he said everything was fine, he had been unusually short with his mother after a long string of more relaxed conversations.

He had talked to her again this morning as they were making plans for his graduation.

She ventured, “She’s still talking about us moving in?”

He closed his eyes and visibly cringed as he said, “She’ll stop. I just need to cut her off each time. But she will stop eventually.”

“But your mom’s been so great to us. Surely she knows we have other plans, and that living with her would be…”

\--“Awkward. Messy. Invasive. Did I mentioned awkward?” He looked down at her and raised a brow, his mouth now forming a smirk.

She relaxed her shoulders and let out a soft chuckle, shaking her head.

“I love your mom, but yes, I agree. So you think she’ll eventually understand?”

“Yeah. Sure.” His shrug was oddly not that convincing, and she considered he didn’t even muster up the energy for a Winger speech. Perhaps it was because it was so early.

“Thank you for making pancakes. Sophie will be thrilled.”

He leaned over and glanced down the hallway as he mused, “I’m surprised she hasn’t drifted down here already.”

“They do smell delicious.”

He grinned and then swiftly and playfully swiveled to face the fridge, opening it up to pull out the bacon. He ripped open the package and began to toss strips on a pre-heated skilled, the sizzling beginning almost immediately. He said, “Go get the munchkin and you guys can start on pancakes while I get these going.”

There was a thudding noise coming down the hallway, and they both smiled, realizing there was no need to find Sophie. The clanging of Ruffles collar sounded to be coming slightly ahead, and Annie supposed the dog had smelled breakfast first and Sophie followed her lead.

She picked up the plate of pancakes and placed them on the table and then caught a whiff of the bacon.

“Why are you making bacon? Jeff, ugh…”

\--“Come on, I know you’re not _that Jewish._ Look, just because you’re going to see your mom doesn’t mean you can’t live a little.”

She felt the wave of nausea hit her, and it took her by surprise. She hadn’t been struggling with any morning sickness so far, only some fatigue, and she had been hoping that she would bypass it entirely. But Shirley had kept telling her to watch out, and she suddenly realized it was coming.

Clasping her hand to her mouth, she stilled and mentally began to count to ten while gripping the back of Sophie’s chair. She could get through this and it would pass, right?

Ruffles ran past her into the kitchen, and then Sophie appeared, smiling and drooling slightly as she made her way toward her, intent on getting started on breakfast as soon as possible. Annie looked down at her and shook her head, knowing that she couldn’t possibly move at the moment and let her into her chair. She had a suspicion if she tried, she’d vomit all over her daughter.

Sophie scrunched up her face and said, _“I sit, Mama?”_

Annie once again shook her head.  She hoped Jeff would make an appearance soon, for she wasn’t sure what she was going to do.

 _“I hungwy! You move, okay?”_ Sophie went up on her tip toes and stared at the pile of pancakes on the table as she added, _“Dey pancakes. Yum.”_

She closed her eyes and continued counting, she supposed now to twenty.

_“You okay, Mama?”_

There was a bump on her leg.

“ _Daddy, Mama asweep!”_

Jeff called out, “Now, come on munchkin, I’m making bacon.”

_“Daddy!”_

“Bacon! You love bacon! But remember we don’t tell Bubbe because she likes to keep bacon as pets.”

_“I lub bacon!”_

Annie had had about enough, and as she heard Jeff step into the dining area and smelled the growing scent, she opened her eyes and made a run for it, pushing past Sophie and with each frantic step praying she’d make it in time.

 

X

X

“So, pukey one, are you done?”

She was still sitting on the floor of the bathroom, here eyes closed and a clamminess to her skin.  He felt terrible, not realizing until he saw her speeding away what he was doing to her. Of course he had followed, and Sophie and Ruffles had trailed behind him, and he had caught the overwhelming sight of Annie barfing into the toilet.

He was pretty thankful she had made it, but he was shocked nonetheless. It wasn’t something he ever thought he’d see, and he was grateful that Annie hadn’t ever spied him after some nights of heavy drinking. It was not a good look.

Sophie had been upset, but he had quickly realized what was happening and grabbed her, allowing Annie some minutes alone while he escorted Sophie back to the pancakes and bacon, which he now didn’t find all that appetizing. To his relief, she had recovered astonishingly quickly and, once he explained that her mommy was sick but would be okay, dove into her food.

He went back to attend to Annie and firmly removed Ruffles who was hovering near the toilet and heard Annie somehow shut the door behind them. He supposed she wanted to be left alone. He occupied Ruffles with some bacon, which he supposed they might all regret later, and sat down next to Sophie, watching her shovel it in. After a little bit, he heard another flush and made his way back to the bathroom, knocking and then creaking the door to regard Annie in her current state.

She opened her eyes and a brief hint of a blush flashed across her pale cheeks. He grabbed a washcloth and ran some cold water over it and then came over and sat down next to her, both of them resting their backs against the bathtub. She accepted the washcloth and began to wipe at her face, and he was momentarily confused because he had gotten it to cool her head. But then he remembered that she probably wasn’t ill with fever.

She managed, “God, that was…I’m sorry.”

“You have nothing to be sorry about. How are you doing?”

She smiled weakly and replied, “I think I’m okay now. I just…the bacon.”

He noticed she jerked a little, and he widened his eyes as he said, “I’ll throw it all out.”

“Don’t. You and Sophie can…” She stilled once again closed her eyes.

“Again?”

She nodded and lunged forward, and although she kept swatting at him, he stayed and held her hair.

It was the least he could do for his pukey lady.

 

X

X

“Jeff, next time let me throw up in peace.”

He smirked as he regarded her from his sideways position on the bed, his head propped on one hand. He let his other hand trace from her shoulder down her arm, and she could tell he was trying to comfort her, but she was embarrassed. The last thing she had wanted was for him to see her in that state, but there had been no avoiding it.

“Well, it is half my fault you have morning sickness.”

“Yes, but there’s nothing you can do. I’d rather get sick alone, okay? You can watch Sophie when it happens, and that will be very helpful.”

He squinted at her, and she regarded him intently hoping he’d get it. To her relief, he then half-shrugged and reached over to grab a glass of water he had brought from the kitchen after she had gone back to bed.

She accepted the glass and sat up, taking a sip before handing it back to him. As he replaced it, he explained, “The munchkin is getting dressed, and I’ll take her to the park for a little bit. But I’m going to run down to the dumpster first and clean everything up in the kitchen.”

“Thank you.”

“I can call your mom and tell her you’re not feeling well.”

She shook her head, knowing that although part of her would have loved to have taken him up on his offer, she didn’t want to put off her planned visit to her mother’s house. She had promised Anthony she’d drop off some pictures of Sophie for the collage he was making for his family systems class, and she figured it was a good excuse to see her mother in a fairly contained manner, under the guise that they would also be discussing plans for Sophie’s preschool in the fall. She and Jeff made the decision, after Annie had discreetly inquired into Greendale’s daycare policies and discovered they couldn’t keep Sophie there in the spring semester if she and Jeff weren’t enrolled in classes, that Sophie would be best with consistency through the year and was likely ready for preschool.

Plus this way she didn’t have to bring Sophie with her, as she still didn’t want her mother to know about the baby until she was a little further along and Sophie was still pretty excited about it. She didn’t want to ask her daughter to keep a secret from her Bubbe.

She said aloud, “I don’t want to put it off. She’s already been wondering why we haven’t been by in a few weeks.”

“But you’re sick.”

She turned to face him and smiled slightly. “Not really. And from what I remember, it’ll come and go. I need to get used to it. I can’t just drop everything.”

“Crap, we have two more weeks of the semester. I’m so sorry.”

“I’ll be okay. I finished my GED when I was throwing up in rehab.”

“Ahh, true. You’re amazing.” He leaned forward and gave her a kiss on the forehead, pulling her into his side.

It was then that Sophie marched in, dressed in her lilac jumper with neon green tights, and Annie almost laughed out loud at Jeff’s instinctive shirk. He always had such good fashion sense, but he did his best to indulge Sophie’s type of style.

_“Ta da! I weady for pawk!”_

“Great job. You’re looking fierce.”

_“You come too, Mama? You not sick?”_

Annie sat up a little on the bed and said, “I think I’ll let you go with Daddy. But I think I’m okay. I just need to take a nap.”

Sophie nodded and then attempted to crawl up, and Jeff leaned over and pulled her into the bed, placing him in between them so that she could cuddle.

He said, “Well, let me know when you’re done, and I’ll drop her off with Shirley. But remember we have to make it to Doctor Samuelson’s by three.”

She marveled again at how attentive he had been thus far, and she had been somewhat surprised when he insisted on coming to her eight week appointment, even though she explained to him that it was too early for a sonogram and it would just be a bunch of blood work and likely a quick chat with the doctor. But he had been eager to be involved, and she didn’t see any reason to discourage him. It was nice to have someone by her side this time, and she felt a surge of emotion that her baby’s father loved them already.

“Shit, Annie.”

She nodded through her tears. “I’m sorry. I just love you so much.”

She felt Sophie nuzzle in, and Jeff’s arm draped around both of them.

All three of them.

 

X

X

“I don’t know why on earth you didn’t bring Sophie.”

Annie smiled politely at her mother as she entered the kitchen, glancing around to see an assortment of items on the table with a carefully placed vinyl tablecloth underneath. She stepped over to take a closer look, spying a bowl of cookie dough, a beaker of red food coloring, and a saucer of pink sprinkles.

“I told you I wanted to talk to you alone.”

Her mother pursed her lips and regarded the table, murmuring something to herself before she said, “I was hoping you didn’t mean that. I thought Sophie and I could have some fun.”

Annie sighed and sat down, picking up the saucer and allowing the sprinkles to move back and forth, which helped her keep focused. Her mother had a tendency to think if she willed something to be true, it would happen. It was an odd belief system that Annie had almost forgotten about, but now was an annoying reminder.

“Since when do you bake like this?”

“We used to make cookies like this when you were little. Sophie told me she likes pink and red. They’re supposed to be Valentine chocolate chip cookies.”

“It’s May.”

“Nonsense. It’s always a good time for Valentine’s cookies.”

Annie found herself chuckling at this, and she remembered again who had given her Ruthie. She wondered how her mother’s twistedness could overshadow what she suspected was some whimsicalness not that far underneath the surface. But her hopes to see it were usually dashed and she had learned not to expend too much energy into trying to make it happen.

But her mother had been surprisingly decent with Sophie over the past year, although she had never watched her alone.

She said aloud, “Where’s Anthony? I brought him the pictures for his collage.”

“He’s at Natalie’s, but he’ll be back in about a half hour.”

She nodded and placed the saucer down, noticing her mother had now sat opposite her and given her a glass of iced tea. She accepted it and took a sip, relieved that there was nothing in the kitchen that was making her nauseous. She didn’t need to tip off her mother any sooner than she was ready.

“So, what is it you wanted to discuss?”

Annie regarded her mother, noticing she was looking at her with an affected nonchalance, yet she suspected she was nervous, as she was tapping the side of her own glass while looking down.

“I was wondering if your offer to pay for Sophie’s preschool was still open.”

Instantly, her mother lifted her head and seemed relieved. She replied, “Yes, of course.”

Annie nodded and let out a breath. “Great. Jeff and I talked it over, and we think she’s ready for Rodef Sholom.”

Her mother tilted her head, taking a moment to smile in satisfaction, and Annie had an irrational urge to hit her. She pushed down that disturbing image and told herself that she needed to let the resentment go. She and her mother were trying to forge a better relationship, and if they could be on the same page about Sophie, then that was a good thing.

She couldn’t tell her about the baby yet. Part of her, she supposed an irrational part, wondered if her mother would rescind the preschool offer once she found out she was pregnant. She had been speculating as such with Jeff, and he had been assuring her that was nonsense.

But her mother abandoned her last time.

“Now, sweetie, that is wonderful! She will love it there.”

“Thanks, mom. We really appreciate your help.”

“Of course, sweetie. Sophie needs to have the best start in life.”

Annie reflected on how her mother hadn’t been a part of Sophie’s start in life, and she felt a wave of bitterness that was becoming increasingly difficult to shake.  She gulped down a sob, and although she was doing her best to stare into the cookie dough, she knew her mother noticed.

“When can we move past this?”

Annie shrugged in response, feeling it much more difficult these days not to cry, and she didn’t really care if her mother thought she was being ridiculous. She accepted a paper napkin that was being pushed toward her and dabbed at her eyes.

With a sniff, she said, “I don’t know if we’ll ever move past it. But again, thank you for helping Sophie now.”

“We seem to do better when she’s around.”

Annie looked up sharply and said, “Do you understand why I didn’t want her here? I wasn’t sure if you’d still be okay with paying for preschool, and I didn’t want to bring her into whatever goes on between us. She seems to like you and I don’t want her relationship with you and Anthony to be spoiled by whatever you think of me.”

“What I think of you?”

She huffed and said, “I know I haven’t lived up to your expectations.”

“Well, at least you’re off drugs.”

Annie stiffened and fought off the urge to scream. Instead, she smiled tightly and looked up, irritated to find her mother regarding her with a mixture of sadness and pity.

“I’m doing better than just being off drugs you know.”

“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it like that. You’ve really turned things around, and I’m proud of you. What’s the status of your grad school applications?”

She let out a wearied sigh and then took a long sip of tea, feeling the cooling down her throat, which offered her some relief. Her mother always did make decent iced tea, and she briefly recalled it was another fond memory, before everything had gone to hell.

Placing her glass down, she replied, “I need to do an internship before I can apply to grad programs.”

“So when will that be?”

She hesitated, but then decided to tell the truth, as it always seemed easier than attempting to keep track of lies. She and Jeff and both learned over the past few years to live more honest existences.

“After the next school year.”

At this, her mother scooted her chair forward and leaned in, regarding her intently.

“What on earth is taking so long? You’re finishing up year four, and Jeff is graduating. Why aren’t you?”

“As I explained before, I changed my major.”

“But it sounds as if you’ll be taking two extra years.”

“Well, I have needed to attend to other things, like my daughter.”

Her mother sat back and nodded in comprehension, once again tapping her glass as her eyes shifted around the room.

“Well, if Sophie’s at Rodef Sholom, maybe you could have more space to finish up, perhaps you won’t need the full six years? Or Anthony and I can watch her more. Once he comes back from California this fall, he’ll need to find something more constructive to do other than band practice after school, so I’m sure he wouldn’t mind….”

\--“It’s okay. Jeff and I can handle it. I’m fine with my timeline.”

“Whatever you want, sweetie.”

They sat in awkward silence, Annie once again staring into the cookie dough. She wondered if it was raw, baffling at how her mother could be almost lassez faire, at least by Rachel Edison standards, with Sophie. She didn’t remember being allowed near raw cookie dough in her childhood.

She felt her stomach turn, and almost panicked. She made attempts to take deep breaths and moved her chair back slightly, looking away from the table and concentrating her gaze on the floor tiles.

She felt her mother’s eyes on her.

They were saved by Anthony, who stomped his way in from the side door and threw his car keys on the counter, mumbling something to himself before seeming to realize Annie was there. He then smiled and made his way over.

Annie stood and allowed him to give her a hug, and she was once again grateful that even if things were strained, she still had her brother. She wanted so much for Sophie to have someone in her life like that, and she pushed down the growing guilt that she hadn’t yet told him about the baby. But she didn’t want him to have to keep a secret.

She pulled back and grabbed her purse, which was slung over the kitchen chair. As she fished out the envelope, she said, “I brought the cutest ones I could find. I wasn’t sure what age you needed.”

Anthony took the envelope from her and opened it, grinning as he perused the pictures. “Aww, she’s adorable.”

Full on beaming now, she nodded. “She is. My favorite is her newborn picture. I know she looks a lot different now, but that’s how she entered the world. Look at her little rosy cheeks.”

“She’s all scrunched up.”

“Yes, but you can see the little wisp of hair, see right there?” She rose on the tiptoes and pointed, ignoring her mother’s sigh.

“Thanks, Annie. I think I’ll use that one for sure, and then maybe I’ll include an older one, just so everyone can see how cute she is now.” He paused and then added, “Although, I don’t want it to be confusing. People might think you have two kids. I’ll label them.”

She inwardly startled at his words, feeling once again guilty. She smiled and sat back down, placing her purse back on the chair. Anthony took a moment to seem to consider what to do and then shrugged before pulling up a chair and sitting down as well.

The three of them, all at the table.

Just like old times.

 

X

X

“Lunch is ready.”

Annie had been sitting with her brother in his room, and he was showing her the collage he had so far. It had been pretty impressive, and she wondered again at his adept artistic ability. She wondered why he was going into engineering and not music or art. She hoped he wasn’t trying to please their mom.

But when had Anthony seemed to care what their mother thought?

Still, she wondered.

Her brow was furrowed with concern, but she looked up to see her mother’s cheerful expression, and she and Anthony followed her downstairs to the dining room.

She scooted in her chair and took a sandwich, relieved that it seemed to be cucumbers and cream cheese.

That seemed okay.

Her mother than passed her the bowl of potato salad.

At the sight of the mayo, she sensed the grumble, and with as much stamina as she could muster, politely refused and passed it over to Anthony, who took it from her without question and began piling heaping spoonfuls of it onto his plate. She watched and willed herself to keep it together and silently talked to the baby to be nice for mommy’s sake.

Jeff had been talking to the baby a lot, and it made her feel content. Although she explained to him the baby couldn’t hear yet, he didn’t seem to care. She supposed in her case, the baby might sense her thoughts through osmosis.

She gripped the seat of her chair and listened as Anthony said, “So I leave on June fifteenth, pretty much right after school gets out, and it’s going to be awesome.”

June fifteenth. That was about twelve weeks, right? She’d be able to tell him before he left. Good.

She breathed a sigh of relief.

“Anna, are you all right?”

She looked up from her steadied gaze a the tablecloth and smiled politely. “Yes, mom.”

“You’re all pale. Again.”

“Oh, I’m just getting over something.” She waived at the air dismissively and turned her attentions back to Anthony as she attempted to deflect. “That’s exciting. Tell me more about where you’ll be staying.”

She felt her mother’s eyes on her and continued to silently talk to the baby while doing her best to appear interested in what Anthony was saying. She did want to know but she was finding it difficult to concentrate.

Don’t think about the mayonnaise. Or the cookie dough. Or the raw eggs.

She wondered if anyone heard the curdle she felt in her gut.

“I’ll have a roommate. His name is Jamie and he’s from Utah, so we’ll both be strangers to the area. I’m hoping he’s fun.”

“But not too fun, sweetie. Remember, you have to keep up your studies.”

Anthony cast their mother a scowl and then said to Annie, “Hey, I haven’t seen Sophie in a few weeks. I’d like to spend some time with her before I go away. I don’t want her to forget me, okay?”

Annie felt a pang in her chest at his words and she said quickly, taking a moment to gulp, “She won’t forget you, it’ll only be three months. But yes, of course, you can see her.”

She wondered when that would be. A month should be fine. Right before he left.

She felt pretty crappy about it, but she didn’t want Sophie to blab.

“Cool. Next weekend? I can come by or if you and Jeff wanna go out or something, I can babysit.”

“I’ll talk to Jeff, but right now I’m not sure if next weekend will work.”

Anthony’s face fell, and she felt like a jerk. She was also conscious of another wave of nausea.

Out of the corner of her eye, she spied her mother shift back to notice her grip on the chair seat.

“Anna, perhaps you need to lie down.”

“I’m fine.”

“No, I’ll help you.” To her surprise, her mother stood and motioned for her to come with her, and Annie felt helpless at resisting. She allowed her mother to place her arm around her and guide her toward the guestroom on the first floor, the room that no one was ever allowed to enter. The room with the carefully arranged pillows and floral duvet.

It was where Bubbe used to stay, but they didn’t talk about that anymore.

She sank into the mattress, closing her eyes with relief. The wave of nausea seemed to be subsiding, and she had flashes back to rehab when she was in between vomiting and would lie in her bed and wish for time to speed up. She supposed it hadn’t all been withdrawal.

She felt her mother sit on the edge of the bed and although she was feeling better, she was unnerved by the motherly concern. This thought was followed by awareness that her mother was now stroking her hair.

“Shall I call Jeff or Nancy?”

“Nancy? I don’t understand.”

“She’s your sponsor, right? Do you need her right now, or maybe I could take you myself?”

Her eyes flew open and she forced herself to sit up, adrenaline now flowing through her. She gasped, “I am not on drugs!”

Her mother rolled her eyes and said simply, “Now, I think I know the signs, sweetie, although it pains me to admit that I didn’t catch on last time. I’ve been reading all about it. I’m sorry I didn’t understand the importance of rehab before. This time will be different.”

Annie scooted up even further and stared at her incredulously. She tried again, “Mom, I swear to you I’m not using. I don’t need rehab. I’m just not feeling well.”

“You were pale last time and strange, but I let you go to your room, and then you wrote that awful note and did that awful thing. I will not let that happen again.”

The steeliness of her mother’s gaze was almost insane in its intensity, and Annie knew she needed to act quickly or there would be an ambulance called.

“You can ask Jeff. He’ll confirm it.”

“My guess is he doesn’t know. I’m sure if he did, he’d have taken you somewhere and called me. He’s a good son-in-law.” Her mother snapped her fingers and Annie realized Anthony was now standing in the doorway and had her purse. He handed it over to their mother, and she opened it up.

“What are you doing? That’s mine!” She reached forward and her mother gave a tsking sound as she pulled out her cell phone.

“Give me your pass code, and I’ll call Nancy.”

“No.” 

She glanced at her brother for help and to her horror, he was regarding her with a mixture of fear and pity.

Dammit.

She pleaded, “Mom, Anthony, I’m not on drugs again. I’m sick, that’s all.”

“I suppose you wanted me to write you a check for Sophie’s preschool and well we all know where that would have gone. Sweetie, let’s just nip this in the bud before anything terrible happens.” She held out the cell phone and cocked her head, clearly not willing to take no for an answer.

“I want to talk to Jeff.”

“After we talk to Nancy.”

“I’m an adult. You can’t treat me this way.”

“Annie, please listen to mom. We love you.”

At Anthony’s tears, she knew what she needed to do. There was no stopping it now, and as much as she wanted them to stay out of things based on her superstitious belief that something bad could happen and her fear they wouldn’t be there to support her when it did, she knew now they were trying to help.

What had she done to her little brother? He looked so scared.

And so did her mom, even under her composed expression. The cracks were showing.

She took a deep breath and then said, “I didn’t want to tell you just yet, as it’s still early, but I’m pregnant. It’s just morning sickness.”

The silence, for Anthony had stopped sniffling and her mother had ceased tapping her fingernail against the cell phone, was unnerving. She cast glances at both of them, and they were both now wide eyed.

“Oh my god, Annie.”

She smiled sheepishly at her brother. She supposed he wasn’t that thrilled, but she was glad he knew the truth.

Her mother asked in an almost whisper, “You’re pregnant?”

“Yes, mom. I have my eight-week appointment this afternoon. Jeff’s coming with me.”

Her mother carefully placed the phone on the side table and took a few moments to collect herself. She then looked at her with an unreadable expression and said, “Well, this is a surprise.”

Annie had flashes of her mother receiving the news of Sophie, and she realized that she had been lying in a bed at that time too, and that after some back and forth her mother had abruptly stood and walked out. She felt her heart rate increase at the thought it was about to happen again.

Anthony was watching their mother’s face, and he seemed rooted to his spot near the door.

Annie managed, “Look mom, I know you don’t approve, but Jeff and I are really happy about the baby. I’m going to take next spring semester off since the baby is due in December. I’ll do my internship the following year.”

“Ahh, now your timeline makes more sense to me.”

“It’ll be fine, and I’ll still graduate and apply to grad schools.”

“You’re going to grad school even though you’ll have two children?”

“Yes. Jeff and I are committed to figuring it out. And Sophie’s super excited to be a big sister.”

The tension was palpable, and she braced once again for her mother to leave the room, but she didn’t. Instead, she seemed to be pondering something and was looking at the bedroom curtains.

Anthony finally unstuck himself and stepped over, pulling up a fabric covered stool, which was from the dressing table and sitting down near the bed. He asked, his face full of hurt, “When were you going to tell me?”

“Soon.”

“Yeah?”

“I wanted to wait until I was through my first trimester, just in case.” She smiled slightly at him, hoping he’d understand.

To her relief, he nodded and said, “Yeah, it’s okay. You and Jeff are happy?”

“Yes, we are.”

“Cool cool cool. I’m happy for you too, Annie. It’ll be fun to have another niece or nephew.”

She felt her shoulders relax, and she reached out to take his hand, giving it a squeeze. She felt the tears flow down her cheeks as she said, “Thank you.”

Appearing to regain her awareness of her surroundings, her mother startled and then turned her attentions back to Annie. Eyeing their clasped hands, she cleared her throat and then said, “Congratulations, sweetie. I apologize for jumping to that other conclusion.”

Not really believing the congratulations, part, Annie tensed. She then ventured, “Really? You’re okay with this?”

Her mother smiled and replied, “Of course, sweetie. That’s wonderful about the new baby. I’m very happy for you and Jeff.”

“Thanks, mom. I appreciate it.”

“I can’t wait to congratulate Jeff myself.”

 

X

X

About an hour later, Jeff got the call from Annie explaining what had transpired and then they concentrated on making plans to meet up near the clinic. He dropped Sophie off at the Bennett’s, gave Shirley a bear hug, briefly discussed with Andre when they might get together for a beer, patted Ben on the head and then threw a couple sticks at Elijah and Jordan in the backyard before heading out. He heard the kids snickering, but he knew they loved the begrudged attention.

He settled into the Lexus and took out his phone, staring at it as it lit up. He took a deep breath and placed it to his ear.

“Yes, Rachel?”

“Jeff, we need to have a conversation.”

“I thought that was what we’re doing.”

“Anna told me about the baby. Congratulations.”

“Thank you. We’re thrilled.”

There was a pause, and he braced himself, sensing her fury underneath her syrupy tone.

“I will never say this to Anna, so this stays between you and me. Do you understand?”

“Of course. Shoot.”

“How dare you.”

“Excuse me?”

“You were supposed to help her get back on track. And take care of Sophie. Another baby wasn’t part of the plan. But Anna tells me you and her discussed this in advance.”

“Ah, yes. You mean she told you this wasn’t a surprise. That’s correct.”

“That was very selfish of you. I’m disappointed.”

He took a few moments to gather his thoughts, not at all surprised that this was happening.  Although Annie had seemed happy when she called him and he was grateful Rachel had behaved herself, he suspected she would be reaching out to him. Part of him had always assumed she had the understanding that he and Annie wouldn’t be having more children. He was part of the damage control plan.

Well, screw her.

He affected his most calming and lawyerly tone as he said, “I’m sorry you feel that way. Annie and I are excited about having another child. I assume you’re concerned about her finishing school, but trust me she will and it will all be fine. Your daughter’s way too driven to derail her career plans, and I am one hundred percent supportive of her.”

“She’s driven because I raised her to be so. And I raised her not to count on a man. Please prove me wrong and stay by her side.”

“Christ, Rachel, you know I’ll never leave her.”

There was a long pause, and he steadied himself, awaiting the potential litany of abusive words. It hadn’t been their dynamic thus far, but he had seen Rachel in action.

He was glad they weren’t talking in person and instinctively covered his groin.

Finally, she said, “I would like nothing more than to believe you. I told Anna I’d pay for Sophie’s preschool.”

“Thank you. We appreciate it.”

“And when you begin to pull in more money with your firm, I expect you to fund the second child’s daycare, and of course I will kick in some funds to make it possible so Anna can continue with her studies.”

“Of course. Thank you.”

“Good. And Jeff?”

“Yes?”

“Please give my love and kisses to Sophie. Tell her that Bubbe misses her and wants to see her next weekend.”

“Will do.”

 

X

X

Jeff rushed into the clinic, half panicking that he was late for their appointment. He was relieved when he spied Annie in a waiting room chair, flipping through a baby magazine. He plopped down next to her and gave her a kiss on the cheek, and she turned to him with a grin.

“Hi!”

“Hi, gorgeous.”

Her eyes danced as she clasped his hand and chirped, “My mom was good this time. She thought I was on drugs. It was kind of hilarious!”

He smirked and said, “Yeah, that sounds like fun.”

“In retrospect, it is pretty funny. Although I feel bad for Anthony. I think he was really scared.”

He watched her face fall, and he pulled her to his side and said, “I think your mom was probably scared too.”

“Yeah, I know. I’m trying not to think about that part.”

“Annie Edison-Winger?”

They looked up to see the nurse waiting for them by the door.

 

X

X

“So, there’s your baby.”

Jeff and Annie both squinted at the monitor, and the doctor let out a chuckle.

“I know they don’t look like a baby just yet. They’re about the size of a raspberry.”

Jeff was relieved he wasn’t the only one who couldn’t see a baby in the blurry blob on screen, but he was still pretty excited. They hadn’t expected to get a sonogram today, as when Annie initially spoke to someone to schedule the appointment, she was told it would be an exam with some blood work, but it turned out Dr. Samuelson was a fan of early sonograms in order to make sure she had an accurate due date on file.

Although they had been pretty darn sure when they had conceived, they both played innocent and said they didn’t really know. Jeff had then winked at Annie, and she batted her lashes before looking at the doctor with a puzzled and naïve expression.

So sonogram it was.

Jeff was thankful they could confirm the pregnancy. Although he knew home tests were accurate and Annie was certainly demonstrating all the signs, it was reassuring to see the blob.

The doctor then pressed a button and they heard a whooshing noise.

She smiled and said, “And there’s the heartbeat.”

Jeff exchanged a look of awe (or awww) with Annie, and they sat enraptured with the concept of the little raspberry for a minute as the doctor studied the screen.

“Everything’s great. You can see the heartbeat too if you look closely.”

Once again, Jeff trusted that the doctor knew what she was doing and merely stared at the screen. He supposed there was some movement there that coincided with the whooshing.

Annie asked, “So they’re really in there?”

“Yes. And there are tiny webbed fingers and toes forming.”

“Aww, Jeff.”

Tiny webbed fingers and toes.

Cool cool cool.

 

 

 

 


	7. Introduction to Composition

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Abed recaps

“It had been an eventful Greendale ride, but it had come to an end. Of the original study group, three remained and four were moving on to hopefully better things.

Annie was of course taking some extra time. Troy, due to a change in his major as well as general life angst, was planning on one more year, and Pierce made the call to stay on, despite having more than earned enough credits by this point in several different majors. He didn’t want to abandon his Princess and his former valet.

Britta, somewhat surprising everyone, applied and was accepted into a masters program in counseling at the Riverside School of Professional Psychology nearby. Shirley obtained her business degree and was allowed to keep Shirley’s Sandwiches open on campus with hopes to expand to a second location within the year. Abed finished up with his film degree and while working on his next movie script was scheduled to begin folding turkey slices for Shirley the following Monday.

And of course, Jeff was graduating with his degree in Education and was planning to study and retake the bar examination in the summer, a condition set by the State of Colorado for some reason, as they didn’t appear to trust him.

Jeff snickered at this as he planned to go back to his former ways.”

“I did not.”

Abed shifted in his seat at Uncle Rusty’s and stared at Jeff, who was nodding in that short way he did when he was impatient.

Abed uncharacteristically shifted his eyes down before resuming his gaze and asked, “So you’re not going back to your evil!lawyering?”

“No.”

“But aren’t you and Mark planning to open up your own business and steal the clients from your current firm?”

Jeff felt his stomach drop, and he briefly wondered if it was from guilt. Sure, he and Mark weren’t that opposed to having clients find them, should they want continue working with them, but he stopped short of calling it ‘stealing.’ Still, he and Mark both knew the firm would likely see it that way. As much as he was excited for leaving those assholes and starting his own business, he was also dreading the day when he gave his notice and walked out.

It was going to get ugly.

He said aloud with as much confidence as he could muster, “Mark and I are planning on cultivating our own book of business. Current clients are welcome of course to make their own choice.”

Abed shrugged and picked up his milkshake, taking time to take a long slurp.

Originally, Jeff hadn’t planned on spending his graduation like this; it was a scotch at Morty’s Steakhouse. Solo. Of course that was before he and Annie got serious. Now his former life made no sense whatsoever,  and his current working life didn’t fit with his role as a faithful husband and father. No, he knew that despite the likely unpleasantness of the short term in talking with his bosses, it would be worth it.

He cast a look over at Annie at the far end of the restaurant, his chest swelling as they made eye contact and she offered him a reassuring smile before turning her attentions back to Sophie, who was standing on a stool and in the middle of deliberations over what kind of fries she wanted.

Of course, his chest swell wasn’t the only swelling that had been happening lately. His mind went back to that morning, when he had spied Annie dropping her bath towel as she considered various outfits that lay on their bed.

His eyes had gone to her belly, and he emitted a gasp at the sight of a roundedness he swore had not been there the day before. As he pointed it out, Annie’s eyes widened and she felt the slight bump, stammering about how it was way too soon for her to be showing at ten weeks.

“I swear, Annie, that’s a change.” He had walked over to her and with her nod of consent, placed his hand on her stomach. He gently rubbed it up and down and marveled at the definite curve. It was kind of as if she had eaten a big meal, but given that this was first thing in the morning that explanation didn’t really make sense.

She placed her hand over his and squeaked, then swatted at him to remove it before dashing over to the full sized mirror and turning herself sideways to inspect. As she ran her hand over her belly, she whispered with sense of awe, “That’s insane.”

“You see it?”

“Yeah.”

“When are you supposed to start showing?”

She turned back to him. “I didn’t with Sophie until much later. I think I was almost five months.”

He took a moment to take in that information. True, he didn’t really know a lot about stuff like this, but he was fairly certain Shirley had shown with Ben much sooner than that. He had also perused Annie’s Baby!Sophie album the other week, attempting to gain some familiarity with what to expect in the next few months.

He said aloud, “Seriously? Because I saw some of your pregnancy pictures and you had quite the bump going there.”

Once again turning to regard her profile, she explained, “That was later. I mean, once I did with her it was kind of sudden and then I definitely looked pregnant, not the I-just-ate-a-large-burger look,” she pointed at her stomach to illustrate and then continued, “but the holy-cow-I’m-growing-a-baby look.” She smiled sheepishly at him and then returned her inspections to her body.

He waltzed over and stared at the munchkin bump, not knowing what to say. He couldn’t really tell if she was alarmed or thrilled. It was a distinction, with which he’d normally not have any difficulty, but he felt his anxiety creeping over him and he decided he couldn’t trust his judgment at the moment.

He managed, “Is it okay to be showing now or is it something we need to be concerned about?”

Frowning, she continued to look in the mirror as she replied almost absentmindedly, “Concerned? I don’t see why.”

“You know, because you’re tiny and I’m huge, so um, maybe it’s a really big kid.”

He kept his eyes on her, conscious that he had voiced his latest fear. He was 6’4” and Annie was pretty much a midget. How could they possibly combine in a way that Annie’s body could handle? He silently wished for a cabbage patch. It would be so much easier.

She slowly turned her attentions to him and gave him a reassuring smile.

In a soft tone, she replied, “Jeff, I’m pretty sure even giant babies, not that we know the baby will be giant, aren’t big at this stage. It’s all pretty standard.”

“Then why do you have a bump?” He crossed his arms over his chest for some reason and squinted at her. He couldn’t make any sense of anything anymore.

She shrugged before saying, “I’d hardly call it a _bump_ , and I don’t think anyone would really notice if I weren’t naked. You’re very familiar with my body.”

That comment kind of helped him calm down. And then up.

“Oh yes I am.”

He gave her a tantalizing smirk, feeling a rush throughout his own body. His thoughts went to the last time they were intimate, which was about two weeks ago. It had been a bit of dry spell for them, as Annie hadn’t been feeling very well and had been coping by pretty much constantly eating crackers in between meals so that she wouldn’t get sick. She also needed a heck of a lot more sleep, and with all of that on top of finals, their sex life had been dormant. But he cherished the memory of the last time, and was hoping of course she’d feel better soon and that now that finals were over they could return to the sexy times.

As if reading his mind, she blushed and walked over to her clothes and made a selection of a dark purple dress. She then appeared to change gears and mused, “And now that I think of it, Nancy told me she noticed showing earlier with her second pregnancy, and I think Shirley said something to me about that too. I should probably ask them or look it up.”

“So maybe it’s not a mini-me? You know, a giant baby?” He began to feel a little relieved. Horny and relieved.

“I’d love it if it were a mini-you.” She smiled over at him and held his gaze, and he walked over and wrapped his arms around her naked body, taking a few moments to run his hands over her back.

He felt her shiver a little, and after mumbling she must be cold, leaned down and kissed her. Of course they were interrupted by the munchkin and Ruffles about two minutes later, but it was kind of amazing the preliminaries they got into during those two minutes. He recalled Annie’s whispered words,

“I’m feeling a lot better. Let’s have a little private celebration time after Sophie goes to bed tonight.”

 

x

His mind returned to the present, and he continued to smirk in Annie’s direction. As she attended to Sophie, it hit him that this was his, Abed’s, Shirley’s and Britta’s graduation party.

They had graduated.

The Dean had made a big production out of it, of course, taking a few effusive moments as he had handed each of them their diplomas at the podium. Annie had insisted that Jeff walk with their friends, and he was helpless to say no. Plus, they had invited his mom. He supposed it was kind of a big deal.

Sophie, who they realized was too young to sit through the whole thing, stayed with Shirley’s sister and Ben, and Lacey brought the little ones over to meet them at Uncle Rusty’s afterward. Shirley’s older boys dressed in crisp shirts and ties and sat with Andre, Shirley’s mom, Annie, Dorie, Troy, and Abed’s father near the front. The ceremony moved along, valedictorian Shirley manically waiving at them before she held her diploma high and praised the lord for her degree. Jeff had caught Annie’s playful expression and knew he had made the right call in agreeing to join their friends for the ceremony.

Britta had offered him a brownie and he had actually slapped her hand, telling her to get it together. She had scowled at him and then reluctantly put her goodies away under the folds of her gown, muttering under her breath how she didn’t really want to be mentally present, as who really cared if she graduated anyway?

Jeff had then spied Kevin in an aisle seat, about five rows back, bouncing with excitement as he stared at Britta. When Jeff pointed this out, Britta had rolled her eyes and placed her motor board over her face. He then did his best to shove it around until she stomped her boot on his foot. Ouch.

He hadn’t seen Pierce anywhere, but then again whatever.

“Abed of course had been attached to his side and had been narrating all of the events, a tendency that both irritated Jeff and made him realize how much he’d miss his lovable and lanky meta commentator.”

Jeff startled back to the present once again and shoved Abed’s elbow. “That’s enough. Stop being so meta. And how do you know what I’m thinking?”

“Don’t I always, Jeff?”

“Can’t we just have a normal conversation?”

Abed cocked his head. “Didn’t we try that once? As I recall you didn’t handle it very well.”

Jeff groaned and was about to make a crack when his mother, who slid in next to him in the booth, saved him. Buzz followed and took a chair at the end. Although he hadn’t explicitly invited Buzz in advance, the Greendale faculty had attended the ceremony and afterward Jeff had made a Winger speech about togetherness and urged Buzz and Ian (and Kevin) to join them.

Abed immediately transferred his attentions on Buzz, asking him annoying questions about detective work, and Jeff smirked and accepted his mother’s side hug.

“This was a lovely idea for so many people, Jeffrey. Everyone can do their own thing.”

He cast a sweeping glance around the restaurant, noting Troy was busy at the jukebox, Kevin was talking to the pool table, Ian was chatting away with the Dean near the slushy stand, and the rest of his friends were engaged in various conversations as they chomped and slurped. The kids were either eating or running around, some of them both at the same time.

He and Shirley had pooled resources to rent out the place, and Abed’s father had kicked in some funds. To their surprise, Britta’s parents had tracked them down somehow and after an awkward exchange, offered to foot the bill for half the rental costs. As Shirley and Jeff were about to ask why Britta hadn’t come to them, her parents had been adamant that she was not to now about it, and that it was their graduation gift to her in some way. Although Shirley was delighted to accept the money and began to entertain fantasies of reuniting Britta and her estranged parents, Jeff had pushed down the bile that was coming up his throat and reluctantly accepted. They could use the money, but he was damned if he was going to facilitate any sort of reunion. From what he had learned from Annie and, when high, Britta herself, he gathered that her parents were the type of people who enabled a lot of terrible things that had happened to Britta. He briefly considered they were his least favorite people after his own father and Adam.

Despite how they had funded it, everyone seemed to be having a good time. Shirley even had the genius idea to set up little food and beverage stations and provide some games for kids and adults.

He managed, “Yeah, it seems to be working out.”

Dorie smiled at him and then placed her head on his shoulder, which made him feel both protective of her and a little stifled. He glanced over at Buzz to see he was deep into a conversation with Abed. He wasn’t sure if he was enjoying it, but he didn’t really care.

He turned his attentions back to his mom and said, “Thanks for coming.”

She lifted her head and regarded him with an expression of weariness. “Of course. You’re my son and you just graduated from college. This is a momentous day.”

“Yeah, but I already graduated from law school. That’s kind of a bigger deal than this.”

She shifted in her seat and then arrowed her eyes at him. “Oh my, and here I thought you had learned your lesson. This isn’t about Greendale being easier, this is about you doing the right thing.”

He started to roll his eyes but stopped, realizing she was right. He smiled apologetically at her, and she regained a smug posture.

“And soon you, my dear son, will have your own business. Annie tells me you and your friend are planning to specialize in a new area of law.”

He realized he hadn’t shared his plans much with his mom, mostly because he hadn’t wanted her to know that many details of how he had actually spent his lawyer days up until now, doing sometimes shady deals for businesses, getting people like Ian off on DUIs, and nasty divorces.

With a burning in his cheeks, he affected a shrug and said, “Yeah, we’re um, going to expand on the family law aspect.”

“That sounds interesting. Tell me more.”

“We’ll still handle matters such as smaller lawsuits, accidents and such, but we’re going to concentrate on divorce cases…”

\--“Oh, that sounds like it could be messy.”

He realized she was regarding him with a tentative expression, and he took a moment to give her a reassuring look before he continued, “And mediation. And adoptions.”

At this, her face lit up and she bit her lip almost as if she was attempting to suppress a squeal of delight. She then said, “That’s what Annie told me, but I wanted to hear it from you.”

“Yeah, well. Now I told you.”

“I’m so proud of you, Jeffrey.”

He made sure to appreciate the moment. Things lately had been strained between them, mostly because in every conversation they had, she had brought up the idea of the kids needing more space. Although he had made active efforts to squash her hopes and she would temporarily back down, he felt a mixture of guilt and resentment that he couldn’t reconcile. It had been a common theme in their relationship throughout the years, even though they had seemed to turn a corner when he confessed his big secret a few years ago. It had seemed also to coincide with the addition of Annie and Sophie in his life that they had been experiencing a second chance and certainly had had other things to talk about which had been fun and loving. He had pushed down all their past skirting of his father, her terrible taste in men, and his subsequent horrible childhood.

He relaxed his shoulders and said, “Thanks, Mom. I love you.”

“I love you too.”

He chuckled as he glanced once again at Buzz, who was frowning and shaking his head at Abed, who was in the middle of scribbling in a notepad.

He asked, “So how are things going with you two?”

She stiffened and tapped the table for a few moments before she replied in a whisper, “Good.”

“He treating you well?”

“Yes.”

“That’s great.”

There was an awkward silence, and they both stared off toward the scene of the Dean trying on various decorative hats for Elijah and Jordan, who were howling with laughter at the Dean’s apparent befuddlement.

The moment was broken by Dorie’s words.

“Maybelle’s moving to Florida.”

He startled at this news and turned toward her, noticing she was slightly teary eyed.

“Crap, Mom. I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine. She wants to be somewhere warmer, and her son lives down there with the grandkids.”

“Ahh, that makes sense. Good for her.”

“I’ll miss her, but I’m so happy she won’t be alone anymore.”

He began to feel his stomach knotting and tried to think of ways to change the subject.

She continued, “I’ve been thinking about what you said, about not wanting to move in with me. I’m so sorry I’ve been pushy, and that I didn’t listen to you. I understand, really.”

He softened a little, but remained on alert. There were two ways this conversation was going to go, and he didn’t yet know which.

“It’s fine, Mom. And I promise we won’t move far away.”

Her face brightened, and she said, “That’s what I was thinking. Maybelle won’t be putting her house on the market until next year, as it needs some work and she doesn’t want to just leave abruptly. So it occurred to me…”

\--“Mom.”

She prattled on, “That after the baby is born and your business has had a few months of stability that you and Annie might want to….”

\--“Mom.”

There was a moment of hesitation and the flicker of something in her eyes, something akin to defeat, but she then appeared to summon some inner resolve as she took a deep breath and then said, “I know you and your family need some privacy, but having a newborn and juggling all of the things you two are up to, well, I could be really helpful. If you and Annie need some alone time, you can send the kids over to Grandma’s house for the day or even the night, and it would be so easy. I wouldn’t intrude.”

He pursed his lips, as he contemplated the awkwardness of her bringing this up at his graduation party, and he was trapped in the booth in between her and the wall. He wondered why she seemed almost panicked and pushy about this one topic all of a sudden. It almost seemed as if she felt the stakes were high, that she was afraid something terrible would happen if he didn’t agree.

At his silence, she smiled tightly and then whispered, “No pressure, dear. Thank about it.”

She winked and then scooted out of the booth, leaving him with his thoughts.

 

X

X

Annie skipped up to him and smiled, having just successfully competed in the hopscotch tournament against Troy and Abed. Jeff smirked and then accepted a quick kiss, mumbling into her ear concern about jostling herself too much.

Giving him a peck on his cheek, she whispered back, “The uterus is a safe and cozy place.”

“But the munchkin bump.” He let his hand graze her belly before returning it to her hip.

“Jeff.”

He could tell she wasn’t really annoyed, as he definitely noticed the swish of her hip into his hand. God she was hot.

“And don’t get all pukey.” He really wanted her to remain non-pukey. His evening plans depended on it.

She narrowed her eyes at him and lightly swatted his chest. As she turned away, they were accosted by the Dean, now dressed in a tasteful and slimming white gown and diamond tiara.

Jeff let out a low whistle and then remarked, “Stunning.”

“Oh, this old thing?” The Dean swatted the air and stepped closer, placing his hand on Annie’s shoulder.

He asked with a note of concern, “What’s this about getting pukey?”

She instantly froze, and Jeff felt guilty. They had somehow managed to keep the news from him thus far, concerned about him making too much of a fuss should it dawn on him that Annie would need to take maternity leave from her position as his assistant. They wanted to wait until later in the summer to broach the subject.

Of course with the munchkin bump growing by the second and the Dean being their neighbor, Jeff realized they might have to tell him sooner. But he wasn’t planning on this soon.

He said with affected nonchalance, “Oh, I’m just kidding her. She was jumping around on the hopscotch.”

The Dean tilted his head and considered this, “I see.” He then smiled and added, “Now I think we should talk about getting a cha cha line forming, what do you think? It isn’t every day that my dear Jeffrey Winger graduates!”

“Shirley, Abed, and Britta graduated too. Along with many other students.”

“Oh, please. Of course Shirley and Abed can join the cha cha line! And anyway, I will miss you terribly, Jeffrey. But at least I’ll have your smart and capable wife,” he smiled at Annie and continued, “who is the most amazing student and assistant. Why, I don’t know what I’d do if I had to lose you, too, Annie. I don’t think I could take it!”

Her eyes now widened beyond belief, Annie frantically stared at Jeff, and the Dean squinted in puzzlement.

Jeff managed, “Annie, let’s get the cha cha thing going.”

She abruptly turned toward the Dean and blurted, “I’m pregnant.”

 

X

X

_“You come see my baby?”_

The Dean nodded at Sophie and wiped a tear from his eye. He was now sitting on a bench near the slushy station and Sophie was next to him. Somehow they had found each other to talk about the upcoming Baby Winger.

“Well, I live next door, so I suppose I could come over. Only if you think your parents would let me.”

_“You come over und say hi. Und baby say hi Dean I baby und I cwy.”_

The Dean smiled at this, his shoulders now slouching as he appeared to let any remaining tension go. Annie stepped over and carefully sat down next to Sophie, letting her crawl onto her lap for comfort.

As she pet Sophie’s hair, she said, “I’m sorry I just blurted it out like that.”

“Well, I’m sorry I ran off. That wasn’t very dignified.” He sniffed.

She smiled with understanding, and explained, “I’ll still be your assistant. The baby’s due in December, so I won’t be leaving until after fall semester.”

The Dean let out a breath and said, “Wow, that is a relief.”

“I can help you train a replacement.”

He regarded her cautiously as he asked, “But you’ll come back? After a few months? I mean, take all the time you need, but I’d really like it if you…”

\--“I’ll be on internship, so I probably can’t.”

He nodded and let out a soft chuckle. “Of course. Silly me. I knew you’d leave someday. I suppose going a little earlier, especially for this wonderful reason, is something I can accept. I’m happy for you and Jeffrey, and for you Sophie. You will make a great big sister.”

 _“Yeah, I sister.”_ Sophie leaned her head down and began sucking her thumb.

Jeff sunk down next to the Dean’s other side and handed him a glass of water. It was a bit of a peace offering. The Dean had been ridiculous and dramatic in his response to the news, and Jeff kind of wanted to shake him, but this was graduation day and they had made it four years without violence. He supposed a part of him also felt some pity. 

“Well, thank you, Jeffrey. I apologize for making such a scene.”

“Eh, you’ve done worse.”

Turning toward him, the Dean said, “I congratulate both of you. I’ll be sure to gift you guys with an adorable Greendale onesie.”

“Um, thanks.”

Suddenly sitting up straight with a gleam in his eye, the Dean exclaimed, “Oh, this will be wonderful! The Human Being would look so adorable with a Baby Greendale…”

\--“Remember, we told you ‘no’ with Sophie.”

“Pleeeease?”

Jeff stared into the Dean’s pleading eyes and didn’t need Annie’s ‘ahem’ to reemphasize the ‘no.’

Appearing to consider Jeff’s word, the Dean eventually nodded and said, “Well, I suppose we’ve gotten by without an official Baby Greendale anyway, but I guess I was a little excited at the idea that two members of my favorite study group were having a child together. Why, it’s quite romantic, isn’t it? It’s as if Greendale itself was your matchmaker and your insemination lab.”

Annie and Jeff both widened their eyes, and Annie placed her hands lightly over Sophie’s ears.

Jeff didn’t want to address too much the Dean’s inappropriate use of the word ‘insemination’ because part of him was very much concerned that he’d let it slip that he and Annie had likely conceived their child on campus. That was something he could never let the Dean know. Not ever.

He was trying to think of something to change the subject, and then noticed that Annie had removed her hands from Sophie’s ears and was fishing in her purse for something. He was able to discern from the color of her face what that likely was and was vindicated when she pulled out a baggie of crackers.

Well, maybe they wouldn’t be getting the sexy times on tonight after all.

They were then interrupted by Pierce, who had barged in and stormed up to the Dean, his face bright pink with anger. As he suddenly spotted Sophie, he affected a forced smile and said through clenched teeth, “That’s my tiara.”

Affecting an indignant yet detached demeanor, the Dean countered, “Now, I’ve had this for ages.”

“It’s actually Annie’s. Please hand it over.”

The Dean let out a long sigh and then slowly removed the tiara, which was actually only balanced on his baldhead. Pierce snatched it back and turned to Annie, who was now munching on a cracker with one hand while holding Sophie with the other.

“Annie, please.”

Taking a moment to slowly finish her cracker, she then swallowed and asked, “Where have you been today? We’ve missed you.”

Pierce glanced down, holding the tiara in his hands and began rocking almost bashfully with it. Jeff wondered what was going on, but was thinking maybe he should go find his mom and perhaps talk about topics like root canals. Despite the growth over the past four years, Pierce remained an irritant to him.

Pierce muttered, “I wanted to set up the portraits. I thought, well, maybe we could do one with the whole Greendale Seven.” He then smiled at Sophie and added, “Eight. I see she has on her pearls.” He pointed over to Sophie, who was in fact wearing the pearl necklace that Pierce had given her a little while ago. That morning Annie had insisted it was a special occasion and carefully pulled them out of their box.

“Well, you did ask that she wear them today.”

Jeff cast Annie an inquisitive look, for this was new information to him, and she merely smiled guiltily. He supposed she hadn’t wanted him to get in a tizzy about Pierce and his portraits, but he kind of wished she had given him a heads up. Of course he’d allow the portraits to happen. He’d do it for her. He’d do anything for her.

Pierce asked, “So, we’re set for portraits? I brought my photographer, and he’s setting up a section next door at Juno’s.”

Annie exchanged looks with Jeff, and he shrugged his acquiescence. She then exclaimed, “Yes! Awww!”

Pierce smiled and sat down on her other side.

Jeff used the moment as an opportunity to escape. He didn’t know why, but he had been feeling kind of stifled over the past few minutes, and needed some air. He managed to make his way to the back exit, and, grabbing a beer from the ice bin, scurried outside.

He barely registered the sounds of Abed’s steps behind him.

Glancing down at the bottle, he frowned as he realized it was actually root beer.

Well hell.

With a shrug to himself, he popped the cap off anyway, and took a sip of the sickeningly sweet nonalcoholic beverage. He allowed himself to take in the moment, holding his face up to the sky, eyes closed. It was a good day, but sometimes being around a bunch of people with needs took its toll. He knew he wasn’t responsible for everyone, but sometimes he felt like he was. It was part of the reason he’d always doubled down on his selfishness and distanced himself from others. But now that he had Annie in his life, he knew he couldn’t rely on that coping strategy anymore. And he discovered he didn’t always mind being responsible if he actually was, such as taking care of Sophie and the new baby. That in itself, while hectic sometimes, was pretty emotionally simple.

But the other people. His mother. The Dean. Pierce. Abed. Hell, he wondered if Shirley was going to be okay too with her business and if she and Andre were on solid footing. And Troy with his dance major, what was he going to do with another year at Greendale? And Britta, he inwardly confessed, always troubled him. How much weed did she use anyway, and what the fuck was wrong with her parents?

“Jeff?”

He startled at Holly’s voice and turned to see her in fact standing there, a tentative smile on her face.

“What are you doing here?”

She walked over to him, and he noticed she was holding Sophie’s bear. She handed it to him and said, “Sophie asked me to give this to you. She said she thought you were sad.”

Accepting the stuffed creature, he smiled slightly and said, “She’s a pretty perceptive kid. She gets that from Annie.”

“Oh, I’m pretty sure she’s picked up a lot of things from you too.”

He laughed awkwardly and motioned for her to join him on a bench that was outside the door. After they both made somewhat obsessive attempts at cleaning it off, they sat down and stared at the parking lot.

“You didn’t answer my question.”

“I’m sorry, but your mom told me you were graduating, and well, I really wanted to get you a gift. So I kind of invited myself. I hope that’s okay.”

He didn’t really know what to think, and for a brief moment in his shock at her presence, he felt perhaps irrationally guilty. Was he supposed to invite his cousin to his graduation? He had only considered his mother for his part of the guest list.

“It’s fine. Um, I’m sorry I didn’t invite you, but I guess I didn’t think you’d really want to come. I should have graduated from college years ago, so it’s kind of lame.”

She rolled her eyes and then said, “Your mom is so happy, she’s been almost squealing.”

“Really?”

“Yeah. And I’m really proud of you too. I guess I wanted to represent my part of our family, since my parents are jerks.”

He considered that was actually pretty sweet of her. Although Christmas had been decent, he was under the impression his aunt and uncle had been forcing themselves to be minimally polite with him. If it hadn’t been for his concern about his mother’s feelings, he’d have told them off.

“Thanks. I’m glad you’re here.”

“I wasn’t planning to stay. I just wanted to say hello and drop off my gift.”

“Stay. We have plenty of food. We had an unexpected donation from an anonymous donor.”

She shook her head. “I couldn’t.”

“Yes, you can. Plus, Sophie would never get over it if you took Sam and Brad home and she couldn’t play with them.”

She mumbled with the hint of a smirk, “Braden.”

“Yeah, yeah.”

“They’re with their father. I don’t get them back until next week.”

Jeff closed his eyes and for some reason unbeknownst to his conscious mind, reached out and grabbed her hand. He gave it a squeeze, and he didn’t need to open his eyes to know she was crying softly. Wanting to keep things dignified, and the emotional territory between them being fairly new, but knowing in this situation what was the right thing to do, he said, “Then you’ll stay.”

“If you’re sure?”

“Yes.”

They sat in silence for a few moments, and Jeff considered that he was actually pretty grateful that she had made the decision to stop by. In fact, the more he considered the awfulness of both his father and his mother’s parents, having driven their daughter away to Colorado with a total loser, the more he appreciated that he could in his adult life forge some decent relationships with people who seemed to love him for some reason.

And Sophie was always so excited to see Sam and Braden. He was grateful that she had cousins. He supposed he was beginning to realize he had a cousin too. Now that the jealousy had diminished, he considered they could actually be friends.

He said aloud, “We’re having another baby.”

She let go of his hand and turned to face him with a look of surprise. He smiled and nodded in response.

“That’s great! Congrats!”

“I supposed technically I should have asked Annie to share this with you, but she outed us to her boss a few minutes ago and I think most everyone in there already knows. So, yeah, we were going to tell you soon anyway.”

She slapped his knee and grabbed his root beer off the bench, where he had put it between them so that he could hold Sophie’s bear, and took a big swig. He watched as the realization hit her over what was actually in the bottle, and he began cackling.

She wiped her mouth and said, “Funny. I thought..”

\--“Yeah, so did I. And that was rude. That’s my beer.”

“Shut up. It was a celebratory swig. You guys are having a baby.”

“Come on inside, I’ll see if I can find us real beverages, although knowing Shirley she probably had them stricken from the menu. But maybe we can at least get a spritzer. The Dean’s here so my guess is maybe.”

They stood and were about to walk inside when Abed emerged and stared back and forth between them.

He whispered, “Nice.”

  

X

X

“So Jeff Winger finally graduates and learns to allow himself to be loved. By his friends. By his family. By his wife and child. Perhaps even genuinely by himself. And the moment was captured by a sentimental Greendale portrait.”

“Knock it off, Abed.”

“Fine. I’m done.”

“Are you?”

“For now.”

Jeff squinted at him and then decided to shake it off. It had actually turned out to be a decent day, and he had even survived the portrait shoot next door and returned to the party. But he was hitting the limits of his ability to be social and was craving going home, spending some nice time with Annie and Sophie, and then putting Sophie to bed.

And then he was awaiting other things.

He bit his lip and ignored Abed’s studying of his expression.

Appearing not to be able to decipher horny pondering, Abed sipped his fifth shake and spun around on his barstool. Jeff allowed him to do this as he leaned back against the bar and surveyed the excitement.

Sophie came running up to him, her face full of the glee that one could only experience at that age. Jeff wondered if he had ever felt that way, and although that thought unsettled him somewhat, he felt a surge of love and bent down to scoop her into his arms.

Standing, he kissed her cheek and asked, “What’s up, munchkin?”

_“I beat-ed Twoy. I won-ed!”_

“Did you? What did you play?”

_“Go Fissssshhh!”_

She giggled and he considered that perhaps Troy had let her win.

Or maybe not.

He concentrated on rocking her a little, letting her bury her face into his shoulder. He could feel her body suddenly becoming more limp, and he knew they should probably go home soon.

She whispered, _“You lika my bear, Daddy?”_

Placing another kiss on the side of her head, he glanced at the bear seated on the stool to his other side and smiled slightly. He replied, “Yeah, he was really helpful. Thank you for letting me borrow him.”

_“I wan him back.”_

He reached over to grab it, putting it into Sophie’s now outstretched hand, and she pulled it to her and got a little heavier on his shoulder. He then glanced over at Abed and was surprised to see him staring at him. Or perhaps not that surprised.

“What is it now?”

“Oh, it just occurred to me that I need to modify my recap.”

“Go on.”

“I’m glad you’re interested, Jeff.” Cocking his head and pointing his finger out for some sort of emphasis, he explained, “I said earlier that I would be helping Shirley at her Sandwich Shop while I worked on my screenplay, but I’ve taken another offer.”

Jeff found himself nodding. He wondered if this was fantasyland or serious. He could only imagine Abed turning down Shirley if it had something to do with a film opportunity.So, fantasyland.

He sat down with a sigh on a stool and waited.

Abed added, “I was talking with Holly, and I asked her about jobs at her company.”

“You what?!?”

“I’ve been considering it for months, actually. She told me the last time I was at your mother’s house, but we first talked about it when we all played D&D before Sophie’s adoption. She’s really good at D&D.”

Jeff squinted as he wondered when exactly Abed was at his mother’s house last. This fact just solidified for him that he needed to talk with her about boundaries.

Abed continued, “She’s a coder for a job networking media site in Denver. And since I want to create the next great social media app, I thought it might be a way in.”

“Since when do you want to create an app?”

Abed let out a low and annoyed whistle.

“Since my dad got on my case about my bills. Plus, he’s getting old, so I don’t know.” He shrugged and then slurped loudly on his shake.

A pang of something in his gut forming, Jeff found himself saying, “You can’t just give up on your dream.”

“I have to be responsible now, Jeff. Troy costs money too. I promised him I’d do better so that he could continue to go to school and we had lots of toys.” Without a hint of irony, he continued, “And I guess I’m an adult now, and adults have jobs. I showed Holly my resume, and she says she thinks she can help me.”

Jeff allowed this information to sink in. Maybe Abed would be a decent coder, or whatever it was Holly had in mind. It certainly didn’t seem that far-fetched, but the thought of Abed trying to have a regular job just seemed wrong. He’d probably end up pretty depressed or be ostracized by his coworkers.

He maneuvered Sophie into his lap and let her practically lay down. As he watched her close her eyes and drift off, he whispered, “Buddy, my advice is to think about this. Shirley’s offering you a job where I’m guessing you’ll have time to work on your screenplay. And she knows you.”

He looked up at gave Abed an intent look.

Seemingly unaffected by his words, Abed said, “I’m going to make the next billion dollar social media app. Troy doesn’t need Pierce’s money.”

“Since when is Pierce giving Troy money?”

“He’s not yet but he told me he’s going to leave all his money to Troy in his will.”

“But Pierce isn’t dead.”

Abed merely gave him a pointed look.

“Good point.”

“Anyway, Jeff, Pierce can suck it.”

“Are you sure this isn’t about something else? I heard you and Troy were having problems. Britta mentioned something to Annie about Tasha Yar?”

In response, Abed merely air star-wiped and stood. He glanced down at Sophie, and Jeff could have sworn he saw the hint of a bona fide and genuine smile. He then leaned down, and for the first time Jeff had ever observed in all of their years together, placed a quick and tender kiss on Sophie’ forehead.

As Jeff was about to speak, Abed shook his head.

“It’s the end of an era, Jeff, but strangely, maybe some things will remain the same. Like the Dean over there and the cha cha. And Troy will stop crying once I let him win a game of Go Fish.”

“Abed…”

\--“And it’s crazy, but I can’t believe we’re going to all end up playing D&D again today. Just like ol’ times.”

“We are not.”

“Aren’t we, Jeff?”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	8. Intermediate Fortune Telling

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff gets a glimpse of his future

Following graduation, Jeff needed to hunker down and cram for the bar exam. He had never been good at studying, but with Annie by his side he figured he was in pretty good shape. She was more than a little turned on by the idea of helping him and had been eager to pour through the various materials, stating that she was going to develop a reasonable study outline for him so that he could take the bar before the end of the summer.

He had been pleased that the night of graduation she ended up feeling better and they had resumed some physical intimacy, but things had been a little touch and go since then; some nights she was eager to jump him after sorting flashcards, and at other times she needed to go to bed early after spending a significant amount of time in and out of the bathroom.

He felt helpless seeing her go through it, and he was more than a little puzzled as to why they called it morning sickness, since as far as he could tell it didn’t discriminate by time of day. He did his best to check in with her before cooking anything, and they had found ways of maneuvering around her increased need for sleep. Luckily, her summer workload with the Dean wasn’t as demanding as the regular school year, and the Dean seemed understanding now that he knew why she wasn’t feeling as energetic and perky as usual. He would even pop into their apartment with chicken soup, which Jeff had needed to explain was not really what she needed, but the Dean seemed intent on trying to be of assistance, so there was that.

Jeff continued working at the firm, and the assumption from the partners was that he was going to continue to be a contractor until he passed the bar. Jeff let this impression be, and although he was getting more than a little clenchy at the mentions of a firm party coming up and winks from Ted that he would like to meet his ‘old lady,’ he kept his head down and tried to focus.

 

X

He fished for his keys, confused as to where they could be since he parked the Lexus downstairs. He was standing in front of their apartment door, and he needed to get inside and didn’t want to knock since he wasn’t sure what Annie and Sophie were in the middle of doing. They might not even be home.

Plus he just had his keys.

He continued to check his pockets as he frowned.

He needed to pass the bar.

He and Mark needed to continue with their plans. Mark had already found office space, but they needed to set up their company legally so that they could sign the lease. They had met over lunch that day and talked about the official name.

Trugler & Winger

Cash & Tango

Former Hamishlins

Lucky Bastards?

Mark had leaned back and rolled his neck, letting out a loud crack that Jeff could have sworn everyone heard at the café.

“We should probably just go with Trugler & Winger.”

Jeff leaned forward and cupped his hands around his coffee mug, his eyes glinting as he said, “Winger & Trugler?”

At this, Mark laughed and let out a low whistle before saying, “Sure, but who’s the lawyer now?”

“Oh come on.”

“I didn’t fake my degree.”

They exchanged silent touché glances, and Jeff knew that Mark didn’t really care, that they were decent friends and good colleagues, but it was still a low-key panicky sore spot for him personally. He hated to admit it to himself, but he felt inferior, and the realization of that left him with bile in his throat.

He needed to pass the damn bar ASAP.

Aloud, Jeff mused, “I’ll be back in the game very soon. Annie has me on flashcards.” He wiggled his eyebrows.

Mark let out a chuckle and then began to plop French fries into his mouth at an almost alarming pace, which he usually reserved for their winnings after their toughest cases.

Through bites, he mumbled, “Is that code for something? You guys.”

“No, seriously. She has me on flashcards. As I’ve mentioned before, Annie’s a straight-A student. She’s going to get me to pass the bar.”

Mark shrugged in apparent bemusement. In a way Jeff supposed he was teasing him. They both knew Jeff wasn’t the studious type, but that when he was highly motivated, he was fierce in getting things accomplished. Sure, that usually had involved cheating or other such shortcuts, but this time was different. He was buckling down, actually studying. It gave him a headache, but to see Annie’s proud face was making it all worth it.

Plus Hamish, Hamish, & Hamlin could suck it.

He supposed now was as good a time as any to tell Mark the news. He had held off until now, not wanting to rattle him and make him unnecessarily doubt his commitment to starting their own firm. But Annie was thirteen weeks, safely into her second trimester, and if Mark saw her now, he’d probably guess. She had been having difficulty zipping up her infamously tight skirts and was talking about letting them out. The munchkin bloat had turned into a full on bump in the past few days. It was a more than a little intriguing and maybe alarming, but they were getting used to it.

He roused himself back from his thoughts to regard Mark licking the ketchup off his fingers and said, “I have some news.”

“Yeah?”

Mark had begun smacking his lips.

“Don’t freak out on me. If anything, I have even more incentive now to pass the bar and get our firm going.”

Mark paused and uncharacteristically used a napkin to wipe his hands. His expression was one of unreadability, the one he reserved for court but rarely used in personal situations.

Knowing that he shouldn’t drag it out any longer, Jeff rapped his knuckle on the table and said, with a rush of giddiness he was attempting to subdue, “Annie’s pregnant. Baby’s due in December.”

Mark’s stoic mouth suddenly turned upward, at an almost comedic degree and he exclaimed, “Yowza! That’s great! Congrats!”

“Thanks.” Jeff smiled sheepishly and began to sip his coffee.

Mark regarded him with suspicion. “Hey, did you think I’d be upset?”

“I didn’t know for sure. Starting a firm takes focus. Having a newborn is probably the antithesis of focus.”

Mark shook his head and said, “Nah. You’ll deal with it. We can figure it out.” He paused and then added, “I like to think we’re the _antithesis_ of Hamish Hamish & Hamlin. Since we’re focusing on families, after all. Seems a bit hypocritical if we were to get all bent out of shape because you’re adding to yours.”

Jeff nodded, and found himself relaxing, allowing the full rush of happiness return. Annie was out of the usual danger zone for miscarriages, and now his new business partner knew.

It was real.

He said, “I suppose I’ll cut back some hours around then, but I promise I won’t disappear.”

“Well, hopefully we’ll have Penelope too, so she can help cover some things.”

They hadn’t yet offered Penelope a position, of course, but they were planning on doing so as soon as they were ready to give notice to the firm. Both of them had been praying that she’d accept, but the more harassment and other ickiness they continued to observe her enduring on an almost daily basis at the likes of Alan and company made them fairly certain she’d be up for a change. Plus, Jeff remained convinced she was capable of being a lawyer in her own right, should she get up the confidence to go to law school. It was something he had been thinking a lot about lately, knowing from his time at Greendale the various ways in which someone could get stuck in a track in life. Although an excellent paralegal, Penelope could do more.

He’d hire her in a heartbeat as a lawyer.

“We should consider letting Penelope go to law school part time. She’d be an even more valuable asset down the road when we’re ready to expand.”

Mark sighed and then a loopy grin spread over his face. “I agree. Gosh, we’re thinking of expanding already? Warm a guy up first. Buy him flowers at least.”

Jeff rolled his eyes.

Mark suddenly snapped into rigid posture and exclaimed, “I got it!”

“Huh?”

“The name for our firm!”

Jeff waited, intrigued.

“If we want to hire Penelope at some point, and if she accepts our offer to be on board early on, it doesn’t really seem fair to name the business just after ourselves.”

“We could add her name later on. Winger, Trugler & Carson?”

“Ha. Trugler, Winger & Carson, my friend.”

“Sounds okay.”

“Sounds lousy. Way too clunky. I say we do something simple.”

“Such as?”

“Riverside Family Law.”

Jeff’s eyebrows rose. “Riverside?”

Mark nodded excitedly. “That’s what I was going to tell you. I looked at a space today in Riverside, and it’s perfect. And if and when you and Annie move to Denver, it would be a good spot. Not as far as Greendale, and plus the Riverside market is much better for us than Denver proper. Lots of families. Lots of families needing our assistance.”

“And you live in Riverside.”

“I do. And Jenny wants to stay there. So?”

“Still thinking of proposing?”

“I got a ring.”

Jeff smirked and regarded Mark for a few moments, noticing the way in which he was almost bouncing as he shifted from side to side. The thought of staying in the area did have a lot of appeal. Riverside was about half the distance to Denver from Greendale, which would be a decent commute. Sophie’s preschool would be in Riverside. By the time Annie was set for graduate school, they could have a choice.

If they lived in Riverside and Annie commuted, they wouldn’t have to live next door to his mom.

Booyah.

But that was kind of beside the point. He could also commute and take Sophie with him. They would figure it out.

He reached across the table and shook Mark’s now outstretched hand.

“Riverside Family Law it is.”

 

X

Jeff looked up at the apartment door and reached one more time into his duffel bag, which contained his gym clothes. He had stopped in to get in a workout before heading home, as he had some nervous energy to get out.

He suddenly clanged his wedding ring into something and pulled out his phone. With a frown he, looked at it, wondering how in hell he had misplaced his phone and not even noticed. God, he needed to get it together.

Suddenly, he realized Annie had texted him about forty five minutes ago:

[The Wifey]: Please skip the gym and come home soon? I have news! But feeling yucky. :(

Ten minutes ago:

[The Wifey]: Please. I could use your help. <3

He felt like crap, having missed her texts. With one last frantic swipe inside his bag, he was relieved when he located his keys. As he started to place the key in the lock, he heard Ruffles pawing at the door and then a shuffling sound on the other side, accompanied by a little voice.

_“Go away.”_

Well, it certainly wasn’t Sophie, and he frowned once again as he considered that fact. Figuring he wasn’t about to be pounced on by a giant burglar, he continued and opened the door, making sure to slowly push the door in so that he didn’t injure some hobbity munchkin creature.

_“Oh, it’s Mr. Jeff!”_

The handsome dark haired little boy was staring up at him with wonder while holding a foam baseball bat that Sophie had gotten from Ben’s last birthday party.

He briefly considered where the kid learned to defend himself like that, and wondered if Thanos had him in training as the next bouncer for Dildopolis. If the kid did ever end up becoming his son-in-law that was a career that would never do.

With a smirk, he said, “Hello, Dino. Funny running into you here.”

Dino grinned up at him and then shouted, _“It’s okay, Sophie! It’s just your Daddy! No monster!”_

As he heard Sophie’s squeals, he dropped his duffel bag and picked up Dino and held him upside down, carrying him down the hallway and into the living room, Ruffles following. As he approached the couch, he carefully let Dino down and then realized Sophie was smiling broadly at him and was standing next to the cagepen, which contained another small creature.

Baby Elizabeth.

He was now wondering how this odd assortment of children ended up in their place, for he hadn’t been aware of any play dates, and the baby didn’t seem like she would be old enough to really participate, being shy of a year old. He noticed she was standing and holding onto the edge of the cagepen, drooling profusely and staring at Sophie with wonder.

“What’s going on, munchkin?”

Sophie ran over to him, and he bent down and gave her a hug, noticing Dino crammed his way in too. As he pulled back, he repeated his question.

“What’s going on here?”

Sophie smiled and replied, _“We hab baby.”_

“I can see that. I didn’t know Elizabeth was coming over to play.”

_“Yah, we hab El-iz-a-bed und Dino hab baby too. His mama in ho-pi-tal.”_

Dino smacked him with the foam bat and said, _“I’m going to have a baby. But I don’t know because my mama didn’t call me back.”_

Well, he supposed now it all made sense. Daniela was due with the Dildopolobaby soon. He surmised she went into labor and that Annie had offered to watch Dino during some sort of scramble, but he didn’t know where Elizabeth fit into things. Where was Nancy or Ryan?

Where was Annie?

He glanced around and didn’t hear anything other than the television, which was playing The Little Mermaid. He then noticed that there were goldfish crackers strewn about the floor, which Ruffles was apparently eating, a couple sippy cups, and various stuffed animals in Elizabeth’s cagepen. Seeing Elizabeth reach for him, he walked over and picked her up, wondering when she had last been fed. She reached for his chest, and he figured out she probably needed something.

“Where’s Mama?”

_“Mama sick. She say you stay hewe und Daddy come soon. You watch baby und you get me if baby cwies. Und hewe cwackews.”_

_“Miss Annie says I’m in charge.”_

Jeff smirked once again at a clearly pleased Dino, and he didn’t fail to notice Sophie’s darkened eyes in the kid’s direction. He supposed competition started young, and he briefly considered the fact that Sophie would have another child to deal with on a daily basis in a few months.

Well, he supposed she was pretty good with Elizabeth. That gave him hope. He peered into the cagepen.

“Did you give Elizabeth your toys?”

_“Yah. She bow-ed.”_

“Yeah, I’m sure she’s really bored in that cagepen. Do you know where her bottle is?”

Dino, pushing past an eager Sophie, ran over to a bag on a chair and grabbed it, walking awkwardly over to them and then placing it with satisfaction in front of Jeff’s feet.

_“Miss Annie said only she can do it.”_

“Yeah, but I can do it too. Where’s Elizabeth’s mommy?”

_“She took my mama to the hospital.”_

Okay, now he got it. He bent down while balancing the baby and picked up the bag, feeling the weight of liquid inside it. He took it into the kitchen, hearing the kids and dog follow him.

He tried to remember how this was done. He had seen Ryan do it once or twice, but it was a bit out of his wheelhouse. He had only seen Annie breastfeed Sophie, but he knew she had pumped on some occasions to have some extra on hand. Nancy was also someone who prepared for situations like this. He opened up the bag and spied two bottles in a cooling compartment. It was kind of genius actually. He knew he needed to warm it up first, but he didn’t want to burn the kid. She was now actively looking down his shirt.

He glanced over at the twelve-week sonogram affixed to the door of the fridge, right next to the postcard Anthony had already sent them from California. It continually amazed him how much the scan showed the clear outline of the baby, with recognizable profile and everything. They were no longer a blurry blob, and every time he now visited the fridge, he would smile and low-key freak out.

He had so much to figure out before the kid got here. He supposed he could use the present moment to figure out one thing he would likely need to do at some point with the second munchkin. 

Placing a kiss on the side of Elizabeth’s head, he hoisted her to his side, and said to Dino and Sophie, “I’m going to check on Mama. You guys, stay here.”

He made his way toward the bathroom, Ruffles trailing, noticing the door was open. He glanced inside and it was empty. He then stepped over to the bedroom and peeked in.

There she was, lying on her side on the bed, a wet washcloth held over her mouth and her eyes closed.

He padded over and gingerly sat down, noticing her eyes pop open as Ruffles pounced on the bed and went over to lick her hand.

“Hey, pukey, I’m home.”

She removed the washcloth and said, “Thank God.”

“I think I’ve figured out the good news. The kids told me Daniela and Nancy went to the hospital. Did she have the baby?”

Slowly sitting up, Annie said as she absentmindedly pet Ruffles, “I don’t know. Nancy said she needed to go right away. We figured since she’s a nurse, we’d listen to her. Daniela had been having what she thought were Braxton Hicks for hours. But Nancy said they sounded real, and she was worried about preeclampsia.”

Jeff didn’t know what any of that meant, and he was unnerved by the fact that he was once again experiencing a moment when he was aware of how much further ahead Annie was in this area. He was acutely cognizant of the fact that their lives had been so different before they met at Greendale. She had Toni Braxoned or clamped without him.

Aloud, he said, “I hope everything’s okay. Were you able to get a hold of Thanos?”

Annie nodded, and then her eyes widened as she appeared to take in the sight of him holding a now pretty squirmy and whining Elizabeth.

She gasped, “Oh my god, I’m terrible! She’s hungry.”

“Annie, I’ve got this. I just need you to tell me how to warm up the bottle, and I’ll do it. Get some rest.”

After receiving instructions, he kept repeating them as he made his way back to the kitchen. It didn’t surprise him, however, when a minute later Annie joined him and began to fuss over the details.

“I’ve got it.”

“I know. I just wanted to make sure you didn’t take a shortcut and use the microwave. It could get too hot.”

“I’m not always lazy, you know.”

“I never said you were. You’re one of the hardest working people I know. When something matters to you.”

Feeling his annoyance dissipate, he sighed and turned to look at her pale face, noticing her eyes were wide with concern and affection. He leaned down and kissed her forehead before turning back to the task at hand.

A few minutes later, he was safely ensconced between Sophie and Dino on the couch, as they were eager to watch him/help feed the baby. He had barked orders for burp cloths and some other nonsense to make them feel useful, and he rather nervously began the work.

She grabbed on right away, and he was thankful she wasn’t a small baby. Still, this type of feeding was new to him. He was pretty comfortable with solid foods or even baby food, having fed Sophie sometimes when she was little. 

He heard Annie sit on the arm of the couch and then felt her hand gently guide him for the correct angle of the bottle.

“Awww, you’re good at this, Jeff.”

“I’m not a complete screw up.”

“I never said you were. You’re my knight in shining armor.”

He felt his cheeks warm and glanced backward to see her smiling at him, and he knew what people meant about melting. He silently mouthed his thanks before turning back to the task at hand. Luckily, Elizabeth knew what she was going on and he was realizing he didn’t need to do much.

As he and the kids were turning their attentions back to watching The Little Mermaid, he heard Annie gasp.

Whipping his head around, he asked, “You okay?”

She was staring down at her belly, her hand on the bump. He was suddenly terrified, thinking about how much he didn’t know about preclamps and such.

How would he be able to help her?

“Annie?”

A grin suddenly spread over her face and she half-whispered with a sense of wonder, “I felt a flutter.”

“Hm?”

“Oh! There it was again!”

He now fully turned toward her, pushing Dino slightly to the side. As he was about to say something, Annie interrupted.

“I felt the baby move.”

Suddenly realizing the significance of the moment, he let out a breath. He had read about this of course, having also been studying up on pregnancy stuff in addition to his bar exam, but he thought it was much later.

“Are we sure we’re not having a giant baby, Annie? I could have sworn the book said earliest was twenty weeks.”

She shook her head. “That’s when _you_ can feel them. But I remember the flutters with Sophie, but I didn’t realize that’s what they were for a while. And I felt this yesterday too, but I thought it might be just gas.”

“Couldn’t it be?”

She swatted him with her free hand, and she shook her head. “I think there’s a pattern. And it felt just like this with Sophie.”

He wasn’t sure if she was deluding herself or if in fact she was feeling their baby. He was kind of jealous in the moment. He looked into her face and saw a contentment that balanced out her paleness. He then reached over and placed his hand over hers, shifting Elizabeth in his other arm, aware she was staring at the television screen while she ate.

“That’s incredible.”

Annie smiled. “I know. I wish you could feel them too.”

“I suppose I can wait a couple months.”

She glanced over at him with a warm expression, and he could have sworn she was going to lean over and give him a kiss when Sophie piped in.

_“You feel baby, Mama?”_

“Yes, sweetie. I can feel them, but you and Daddy can’t yet. They’re very small.”

Sophie nodded and she looked at Dino and said, _“You feel you baby?”_

Dino, now sulking somewhat, replied, _“I want my mama.”_

 

X

X

Later that night after they had dinner with Ryan, who came to pick up Elizabeth, they settled in, allowing Sophie and Dino to watch another movie with snacks. Jeff could have sworn Annie was still feeling guilty for having, in her own words, _abandoned_ them earlier. Jeff did his best to reassure her and to apologize for not seeing her text and coming home earlier.

They sat on the couch side by side with the kids on the floor, and Jeff placed his hand in its new favorite spot and caressed Annie’s stomach, silently wondering how their life was amazing.

He hoped Daniela was okay.

He whispered so Dino wouldn’t hear, “What’s preeclampsia?”

“Jeff, please don’t worry. It’s just something that happens sometime with blood pressure. But she’s full term, so it’ll probably be okay.”

“Probably?”

She nuzzled into his side, which he knew was her attempt to placate him. He had to admit it helped.

“I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

“I had a good delivery with Sophie.”

He leaned over and let her give him a kiss, and he relaxed.

“Hey, I don’t think I’ve had the chance to tell you. Mark found office space. I’m going to go over there tomorrow and check it out with him.”

“Really? That’s great.”

“It’s in Riverside. What do you think?”

She appeared to take in this information and then slowly nodded. “I suppose that would work.”

“We can still move to Denver if you want. I can commute.”

“Maybe let’s see how it goes? I wouldn’t be in Denver for a little while you know.” She glanced down at her belly, and smiled self-consciously.

“True.” He gave her another kiss.

“Can I come with you guys to see it?”

“Absolutely. I need your stamp of approval.”

“Of course you do. And then we’re going home to work on the flashcards. You need a good quiz.”

 

X

X

Jeff closed the door behind him and quickly changed into his pajamas before joining Annie in bed. She had gone in earlier because she was tired, and he set the kids up with a sleeping bag and pillow and blanket in Sophie’s room so they could camp out. He did his best to reassure Dino that they’d let him know as soon as they heard from his parents. Dino seemed somewhat consoled by the fact that Ruffles seemed to be his new best friend.

Good ol’ Ruffles. He sighed to himself as he thought about the luck they had in finding her. He reached for Annie, and she turned over and smiled at him.

“You’re awake?”

“I’m so tired, but I felt the flutters again, and I don’t want to go to sleep and miss them.”

He chuckled and wrapped his arms around her to spoon, mumbling into her neck, “I suppose sexy times are out of the question?”

“I don’t know. I’m not feeling pukey anymore.”

“Really?”

“And I want to feel close to you.”

He smiled into their kiss, for she had maneuvered herself to face him, and he made sure to take his time. He wanted to make sure she was okay doing this, and he also wanted to remain fairly quiet, as he was pretty certain the kids would not be conked out as when he left them they were whispering excitedly in the dark.

Annie pushed him back and straddled him, and he stifled his moans as she rubbed against him in her sleep t-shirt and shorts. He reached up and let one hand move through her hair while the other reached up to cup her breast.

“God, Annie.”

In a full on lusty whisper, she said, “Well, you’re not sleepy at all. In fact, you’re very awake.” She nodded playfully down at his groin, and he just about died.

The buzzing from his phone startled both of them. He was about to chuck it across the room when he remembered they were awaiting information. He reached over and grabbed it, Annie stilling her movements and shifting so that he could sit up slightly.

He glanced at the display. It was Thanos.

“Jeff? Is that you? You have Dino, right?”

Thanos’ voice was a mixture of weariness and excitability, if that were possible. It was difficult for Jeff to process, but maybe that was because he himself had no more blood flow to his brain.

He silently mouthed to Annie who it was and then replied, “Yes, Dino’s fine. Everything okay?”

“Yeah, man. Baby’s here. It’s a girl. Both she and Daniela are good.”

“Jesus, that was quick. Congratulations.”

“I know, right? Apparently Daniela was in labor like all day and didn’t know it. We thought we had another couple weeks, but I dunno, bam. Baby’s like, I wanna come right now, so yeah, she did. It was crazy.”

Jeff let out a low laugh and turned to Annie.

“Daniela had the baby. It’s a girl. They’re both fine.”

Annie clapped her hands and squeaked.

He said back into the phone, “Annie sends her love.”

“Thanks. Can you keep Dino tonight? I’ll figure something out tomorrow.”

“We were already planning on that. And no worries, he can stay for as long as you need him to. We just have a minor errand tomorrow, and he’s welcome to come along. But of course we can take him to see you guys.”

Annie moved off his lap, which gave him some much-needed relief as he felt himself literally begin to come down. He half registered her shuffling out of the room.

Thanos said, “You guys are awesome. Thanks so much.”

“No problem.”

“We named her Maria.”

“That’s a nice name. Can’t wait to meet her.”

There was a pause on the other end, and Jeff wasn’t sure for a second if Thanos had hung up or if he had fallen asleep. He then heard Thanos let out a quick breath.

“Jeff, what am I gonna do with a girl? I don’t know anything about girls.”

He chuckled. “Trust me, you’ll be great. They’re not that different.”

“Yeah, right. I don’t know anything about Barbies or glitter.”

“Well, you know those exist, so that’s a start. But I’ll let you in on a little secret. Little girls also like fart jokes and play dough. And other things. I mean, Sophie and Dino get along just fine.”

“Yeah, you’re right. Right, I can do this. I can.”

“Of course you can.”

“She’s so cute.”

“Don’t get all mushy on me. Go be with your wife and baby.”

It was then Jeff turned to see Dino come running into the room, Annie behind him with Sophie. Cradling the phone to his ear, he reached down and assisted Dino onto the bed.

“Hey, Thanos before you go, I have someone here who would like to talk to you.”

“No kidding? He’s not asleep?”

“No.”

Jeff handed the phone to Dino, and he and Annie exchanged smiles. He silent mouthed his thanks to her. After all, they had promised they’d let Dino know as soon as they had news, and he had been missing his mother.

Dino appeared to listen intently and then squealed, _“No way, Pappa! I have a sister?”_

Sophie nuzzled into Annie’s arms just as Ruffles hopped onto the bed and made her way toward Jeff.

_“I miss you, Pappa and I miss Mama.”_

There was a pause.

_“Okay. I will. I love you too. See you tomorrow.”_

Another pause.

_“Nite nite.”_

Dino handed the phone back to Jeff.

“We’ll make sure he goes to bed for real this time.” Jeff squinted at Dino and then mussed his hair, which elicited a giggle. He was glad that the kid seemed more at ease now knowing that his mom was okay and he had a baby sister. He wondered how they’d let Sophie know when the time came and who would look after her. He supposed that was another arrangement they’d have to make. Of course, today’s events illustrated one couldn’t always plan everything.

“Thanks, Jeff. Hey, and before I go, I gotta ask you something. Normally I like wouldn’t want to be an ass and I’d just wait it out but I’m kind of punchy right now so I just gotta. Understand?”

Jeff frowned as he pet Ruffles. “I guess?”

“Yeah, so if I’m wrong, please don’t say anything to Annie, okay? I don’t want to offend.”

Jeff smiled reassuringly at Annie and then turned away slightly, more confused now than ever. He said, “Just get to it.”

Thanos took a deep breath and asked, “So, Daniela says she was with Annie today and she thought she….look, you guys got any news you wanna share? Cause even though Daniela just went through a lot, she’s still nosey and maybe asked me to ask you.”

Jeff chuckled and then turned back to look at Annie fully. She gave him a questioning look, likely noticing his bemusement.

Before he could respond, Thanos asked, “You guys expecting?”

Jeff let out a long sigh. “Yes. Annie just hit her second trimester, so we were planning to announce it officially. We wanted to tell you both together, which is why you know, we didn’t tell you today. And the craziness.”

“Oh, no worries. Congrats. You get to be in my situation in some time.”

“Right. I guess I do.” 

“I’ll talk you through it. But look, give Annie my congratulations. I gotta go.”

“Yeah, of course. See you tomorrow. Give Daniela our congratulations.”

Jeff clicked off the phone and placed it on the nightstand. He looked over to see Annie blushing and seeming very pleased with herself. She was holding Sophie on her lap and Dino was now sprawled next to her, his eyes closed.

“Sorry, I had to tell him. Daniela figured it out.”

“Well, it’s getting a little more obvious. I decided I was actually going to tell her anyway today once I caught her staring at my stomach and my boobs, but then I didn’t get the chance.” She shook her head and then looked down at Sophie and Dino for a moment before resuming eye contact with him.

He noticed her eyebrow rise, and he groaned. “Fine. They can stay.”

“Awww.”

He supposed the sexy times were interrupted, and the mood was gone, but he trusted it would return in the near future. They shuffled everyone around so that Dino was near Jeff and Sophie near Annie, Ruffles at the end of the bed.

Dino sleepily asked, _“Sophie, can I use your mama?”_

_“Okay.”_

To Jeff and Annie’s surprise, Dino and Sophie quickly changed places. Annie placed her arm lovingly over Dino and whispered, “You will see your mama tomorrow. She loves you so much.”

He smiled weakly at her and closed his eyes.

Jeff glanced down at Sophie, who was grinning. He whispered, “Hello. I get you?”

_“Yes, Daddy. Don’t leave.”_

“Never.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	9. Advanced Physical Education

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie is feeling better

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Mild sexy-time stuff. You are warned.

Britta shuffled up to Annie, relieved that she had found her amongst the craziness of kids screaming from the nearby playground and the squealing and splashing from the pool. It had been a bit nerve-racking to rely on text instructions to find the place, and she was still readjusting to the time zone.

She had recently returned from a trip with Ian to Ibiza. She hadn’t seen any of the study group members, save a brief glimpse of Troy and Abed late last night when she thudded back into her room, since pretty much their graduation. Ian had insisted, since he wasn’t teaching the first term of the summer, that they take a proper holiday, and for some reason they worked it out to be away for five weeks. It was perhaps financially stupid, but they found ways to travel on the sly and ingratiated themselves with some other fellow travelers.

She was so thankful that Dorie had agreed to watch her cats. She was hoping they hadn’t been too much trouble and they got along with Dorie’s pets well enough. She still needed to stop by and get them and the hermit crabs, and she figured it could wait until tomorrow after she caught up with Annie. She supposed they also needed to pick up Kevin at some point. He had been keeping Maybelle company and doing odd chores.

The trip had been kind of a whirlwind to be honest, and as much fun as she had on her graduation vacation, it was nice to be back in Greendale. And it was pretty uplifting to get a text from Annie welcoming her back and inviting her to watch Sophie’s first swim lesson of the season. She had stopped by last summer a couple times and cheered Sophie on as Annie had held her kicking in the pool with the other parents and kids. It had been adorable and was worth it to put up with Jeff making sarcastic swimming quips as he hid behind his designer shades and lounged in a deck chair.

She had missed Sophie a lot.

Annie had explained in her text that she would be the one watching this year, as she hadn’t been feeling the greatest, so Britta supposed she’d have more fun sitting with her. She spotted the back of Annie’s head and called out.

“Annie!”

Annie turned and gave her a big smile and motioned her over, pointing to a lounge chair next to her.

Britta threw her bag on the ground, which contained a gift for Sophie, and then plopped herself down. She leaned over to give Annie a hug, and her eyes widened as she saw her belly.

“Holy crap.”

At this, Annie smiled and patted what only Britta could describe as a massive bump jutting out from her petite frame and said, “I know. You’ve been gone for a few weeks, so you missed the in-between part.” She then rolled her eyes and added, “And you sound like Jeff. That’s how he’s been reacting at each stage.”  She reached over and grabbed a cracker from a tray of food sitting to her left and proceeded to dip it in a giant glob of peanut butter.

Britta lowered her sunglasses and continued to stare at Annie’s midsection as Annie munched away, not sure what to think. She hadn’t really been contemplating the concept of the second Edison-Winger baby while she had been away, as she had other things to attend to. And the last time she saw Annie, she hadn’t been showing at all, despite Annie mentioning to her that she could tell that her clothes weren’t fitting.

But this was pretty darn obvious.

Annie startled her by lightly swatting her arm and sighing in explanation. “I’m almost sixteen weeks.”

She now grabbed an apple slice and picked up a plastic spoon to have a go at what looked to be a tub of onion dip.

Britta scrunched up her face and asked, “Out of how many?”

“Forty.”

“Double holy crap.”

“Now you definitely sound like Jeff.” She sighed and appeared to consider biting the slice of apple before shrugging and just using the spoon and going full on in with eating the onion dip.

Britta found herself a little light-headed which she tried to tell herself was due to jet lag and not the sheer terror she tended to feel whenever the full realization of the effects of pregnancy on a woman’s body hit her. It was insane, the way babies were kind of parasites.

And Annie’s baby seemed to have an affinity for dips.

But Annie didn’t seem to mind and was now grinning again as she rubbed her stomach and mused, “I was still a little sick up until last week, but I’m feeling a lot better actually and have so much more energy. It’s now really nice being pregnant.”

She continued to gaze lovingly at her belly, which Britta just didn’t understand.

She managed, “I’m glad you’re no longer sick.”

Annie continued to look downward as she said, “I wasn’t doing so well on Father’s Day, and it was Jeff and Sophie’s first time as legally father and daughter. But at least we walked around the zoo a little bit.”

She frowned and teared up slightly, and Britta merely smiled slightly in sympathy.

“I suppose it was their first real Father’s Day.”

“It was, but it wasn’t, you know? Jeff said it felt kind of anti-climatic, but maybe he just didn’t want me to feel bad.”

She dipped a pickle into the peanut butter and proceeded to crunch away.

“Well, he did this to you, so he should care how you feel.”

Annie paused in her munching and arched a brow, regarding her for moment before saying, “He didn’t _do_ anything to me, Britta. We made love, and we made a baby.”  She proceeded to finish her pickle and then took a long sip of water.

Britta inwardly cringed as Annie added, rubbing her belly now with full force and affecting a sing songy voice, “We made you, yes we did. And now that Mommy’s feeling better, we’re going to get all ready for you. You’re going to need cute little baby things. Like little itty bitty socks.” She then added in a whisper, “But we don’t tell Bubbe, because she’ll be all superstitious and not let us get anything cute for you until you’re here.”

In a desperate attempt to change the subject at the sight of Annie’s now maudlin tears, Britta managed to ask, in full awareness of her ignorance of such matters, “I suppose you didn’t want to take Sophie in the pool, um, since you’re preggers?”

Annie wiped her eye and shook her head. She sighed again. “I would have, and I was looking into cute maternity swimming suits, but we had already told Sophie that Jeff would go in with her, and she got her little heart set on it and insisted. Which is fine, actually, since then I can watch.” She then plastered on one of her fake Annie smiles and stared off toward the pool.

Confused at the shift in tone, Britta slowly turned forward so that she could view the swimming lesson. She didn’t need to scan for more than a millisecond, however, as she quickly spotted Sophie with Jeff.

Oh yes, Jeff Winger was in fine form. The bastard.

He was shirtless of course and had his arms under Sophie’s torso, gently guiding her through the water as the instructor shouted out instructions. Sophie was squealing in delight as she kicked and clutched her kickboard, and Jeff looked very proud.

She supposed he would be. Sophie was so cute and enthusiastic and was in general always pretty adorable. But she also suspected he was aware of the kind of attention he was receiving from his new fans.

She followed Annie’s shifting gaze at the other mothers in the pool (there were some dads too, but they seemed to be avoiding Jeff), who appeared to be trying to engage Jeff in conversation as they almost absentmindedly shoved their children forward.

“He’s such a pig.”

Annie let out a light and long laugh, and it reached a pitch Britta had only heard once before from her, and that had involved a question Troy had about mice in spacesuit during their first semester at Greendale.

She patted Annie’s leg in sisterly solidarity, her hand inadvertently grazing the bump, and she shirked it back. Annie placed both her hands protectively back on her belly and grunted something to her in response before she slyly began scanning the crowd.

She mumbled through grit teeth, “It does seem as if he’s getting a lot of attention.”

Britta frowned and followed her gaze, noticing that all female eyes (and a couple male) were transfixed on the pool area. She perked her ears and overheard several exclamations of admiration and one ‘Dear god.’

She scooted her chair closer to Annie and hissed, “I can’t believe he’s upstaging Sophie like that.”

Annie closed her eyes in a pained expression and then opened them. She said, “I don’t think she notices, thank goodness. And it’s sweet of him that he offered to take her in the pool when we thought I couldn’t.”

“I suppose.”

At that moment, Jeff looked over at them and waived, now holding Sophie with one arm, as they had just completed an exercise and were resting.

Sophie yelled, _“Mama! Tit-ta! I do it!”_

Jeff gave Sophie a kiss on the side of her head and they both continued to waive in Annie and Britta’s direction.

Annie sat up slightly and waived back, and shouted, “You did so great, sweetie!”

Britta stopped in her own mid-waive as she heard several exclamations from nearby.

“Dear lord, that’s his wife!”

“Lucky woman.”

“Looks like she’s gonna have another one.”

“That man is an Adonis.”

The one woman to Annie’s left blatantly leaned over and said, “Your child is adorable. Um, and your husband is so wonderful for going in with her. I suppose he must have other things to do, and for him to take time out of his day…”

Britta inwardly seethed at the misogyny of it all, the assumption that a man couldn’t go to swim lessons with his child and that he was ‘more important’ than his wife.

She was preparing to let the woman have it when Annie purred, “That’s right, he’s my husband. And I get to take him home with me. He’s mine.”

 

X

“Annie, can we please not get into it?”

Annie looked up at Jeff, who had emerged freshly showered from the locker room, his wet hair spiky. She suspected he put some gel in it so that it wouldn’t dry a complete wreck until he had access to a hair dyer. He smelled delicious, and he was wearing a light blue t-shirt and tan shorts, all of which accentuated his muscles. He had been working out a lot this summer. In a way she supposed he was trying to manage his stress from studying for the bar, putting up with Alan, and trying not to freak out about their growing bump.

Regardless of the reason, she had to admit she didn’t mind.

She stepped over to him so that there was little space between them, and accepted his quick kiss. She then said as she batted her eyelashes, “Get into what? You were adorable out there.”

She let her hands linger on his torso.

He stared down at her and kept his hands on her hips, which she was very thankful for.

With a sheepish smile, he offered, “I didn’t realize I’d get so much attention.”

She narrowed her eyes and was pleased when he reddened slightly. She whispered, “It couldn’t be helped.”

“I suppose it couldn’t.”

She swatted him as he chuckled, and she felt her own cheeks becoming hot. She also felt a renewed rush of warmth and tingling throughout her core, and she almost couldn’t take it.

She had been watching him throughout the lesson, and as much as she tried to focus on Sophie’s feats, she had been constantly distracted by the murmurs of the other mothers as well as the sight of Jeff’s abs and strong, capable arms holding their daughter.

She had wanted him to rip all her clothes off.

“Annie?”

She just realized she had squeaked.

“Um, nothing. I’m fine.” She smiled up at him, and once again felt literally weak in the knees as they made eye contact.

“You okay?”

"Maybe you could hold me a little tighter.”

He smirked and pulled her in to him, and they began kissing, both of them fully knowing where this was going. Over the past few days as the morning sickness seemed to disappear entirely, they had resumed more consistent physical intimacy, and it had been a much-needed return to form for them, for their sex life was important. It had always been intense, but for some reason she was finding that it was even more so now. She wasn’t sure if it was hormones, relief that she was no longer nauseous, or he had gotten exponentially sexier, but she didn’t really care.

Her mind flashed back to the previous evening when they had let loose after Sophie had gone to bed. It had been exhilarating, and to her admittedly hazy recollection, it had been three rounds. Plus, if she counted the two from yesterday morning after they had taken Sophie to Troy and Abed’s, it had been a grand total of five for yesterday. Plus, this morning, she had gotten him once before Sophie woke up, so she might count that as six, but maybe she should count that toward today’s total? She considered they could set a record, if they worked really hard.

She really wanted to jump his bones.

He mumbled in between kisses, “Where’s the munchkin?”

“She’s with Britta in the locker room. I wanted to wait for you.”

“Hey now.”

“Let’s go home.”

He pulled back and nodded, his mouth in a steady line as he glanced toward the girls’ room. “You know we have to take her home too.”

Annie let her hands run over his torso, and she smiled coyly up at him, shifting a little as she could barely contain herself.

“I was thinking. Britta just got back, and Sophie’s missed her so much.”

She looked up at him and waited for his reaction to her unspoken suggestion.

“Sounds awesome.”

 

X

Jeff fell back on the mattress, still panting. He let his arms fall open and said through gasps, “That was amazing.”

She licked her lips and smiled down at him as she lightly traced his chest and nodded. They took a moment to regard one another, relishing the return of their connection. It had been a welcome surprise over the past few days, for Jeff hadn’t been sure if she would feel well again during her pregnancy.

He wasn’t really sure how to predict anything anymore, but he was glad he was wrong about this one. The past few days had been a delight, as she had almost consistently wanted to have sex. If they hadn’t had Sophie to deal with, he was fairly certain that they would have been going at it constantly, with the exception of Annie’s now almost voracious eating times.

Voracious was a word he’d apply to other things as well. She was almost like a tiger. It had been so utterly crazy that he had pushed down the thoughts of the bump, which really wasn’t that large but just more prominent now, and concentrated on pleasing her. He wasn’t sure if it was hormonal, something with blood flow, or relief at no longer being nauseous that contributed to her wanted to climb him like a tree, but he really didn’t care.

Then again, maybe he had just gotten sexier.

She rolled off to the side and snuggled in, and he wrapped his arms around her contentedly.

“I love you so much.”

“I love you too, Jeff.”

He mused as he stared at the ceiling, “I wonder how we can strategize to give the munchkin more play dates. I suppose Thanos and Daniela might want to distract Dino, or would that be jerky of us to drop her off there?”

“Risky. They might want us to take Dino instead.”

“True. Um, what are the Bennetts up to this summer?”

She lifted her head up on her hand and grinned conspirationally at him while she resumed tracing his pecs.

“I saw Shirley yesterday, and she told me she’d watch Sophie if we needed some alone time.”

Jeff raised a brow, and she shook her head as she laughed.

“I didn’t ask, she offered.”

“Right. I’m sure she just sensed that we wanted to have marathon sex.”

She rolled her eyes. “Well, I may have mentioned that to her that I was feeling better…” She continued to trace his pecs and was staring at them lustily while she did so.

“I see.”

“She said it’s a thing. Wanting more sex.”

“I can’t believe you’re discussing our sex life with Shirley.”

“We’re married now. She seems to think that’s okay. In fact, she often asks.”

He cringed at the thought that Shirley was intensely interested in their romantic exploits and considered he and Andre never discussed anything like that. He wouldn’t feel right talking about Annie that way, but he supposed he didn’t really mind for some reason that Annie objectified him.

Hee hee.

He felt her hand move lower, and he instinctively grabbed it, which elicited a pout.

“We’ve gone two rounds.”

She tilted her head, and explained the obvious, “I think we can go for three.”

He took another deep breath, conscious of the fact that he was still coming down from the last one. He released his grip and reached for a glass of water, which Annie had thoughtfully gotten for him after the first round, when he had expressed concerns about hydration. He took a long sip, and he sensed her impatience.

As he placed the cup down on the bedside table, he sighed, “I can’t just do it again right away. You know this.” He then placed his hand over her roaming one and gave her a serious look.

A wave of frustration flashed across her eyes and she then widened them innocently and resumed the fluttering of lashes.

With a groan, he said, “Fine. Then we’ll take care of you while I recuperate.”

He flipped over a now laughing Annie and began kissing his way down.

 

X

He reached into the fridge to grab a beer, wanting something cold and crisp. It had been kind of hot in the apartment all afternoon.

He grinned as he felt Annie’s hands touch his chest, aware now she was behind him once again and was clamoring for his attentions.

He didn’t want to complain and offend the sex gods, but he was getting a little worn out.

He stepped back, closed the fridge, and then turned around as he popped open the beer.

“Jeefff.” She was once again running her hands up and down his naked chest, her robe barely tied as she began to place kisses on his pecs.

“We’ve gone four rounds. We have to pick up the munchkin soon.”

“We’ve gone five.”

“Right.” He wondered if he’d need to be put into an induced coma soon. This couldn’t be healthy.

But god, it had been amazing.

But he seriously needed to chill. He took a long sip of beer and then rolled it back and forth along his neck, feeling his skin cry out with relief at the coolness of the bottle.

Annie appeared to notice his reaction, and she took a few moments of unnerving yet oddly sexy studying of it before she smiled slyly and shooed him out of the way. She then opened up the freezer and took out an ice cube tray, smugly placing it on the kitchen counter as she kicked the freezer door shut behind her.

“Careful. Don’t get off balance there.” He reached forward to steady her as she wobbled, he supposed due to being off her center of gravity with the munchkin bump.

She smiled at him self-consciously and said, “I’m pretty balanced. I’ve been taking my prenatal yoga classes.”

“I know, but still.”

“And I’m very flexible.”

“Trust me, I know.” He took another sip of beer and handed her a separate glass, figuring she was going to get some ice water.

To his surprise and then growing titillation/dread, she shook her head and turned over the tray to free the cubes.

Turning toward him, she took an ice cube and placed it in her mouth.

He was going to die.

 

X

_“Hi Daddy! Hi Mama!”_

Britta pulled open the door fully so that Annie and Jeff could enter Apartment 303 and watched as they reunited with Sophie. Annie scurried over to her and scooped her up in her arms before settling in on the sofa to watch the remainder of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Troy giving her a nod as he sat next to them with a big bowl of cheesy popcorn. Jeff, oddly enough, seemed to move more slowly, walking strangely and a bit stiffly, and she could have sworn she noticed him wince. He approached the sofa and slowly sat on the arm, letting his hand ruffle Sophie’s curls in greeting.

She came up behind him and asked, “Are you stiff?”

His head whipped around and he glared at her, she could have sworn in some mixture of panic and scorn.

She furrowed her brow and explained, “You’re walking funny. Did you hurt yourself in swim class?”

At this, he visibly let out some tension in his shoulders and then slowly stood, pushing her toward the kitchen. She muttered some arguments against this sort of treatment but acquiesced, figuring something was going on.

As they stood near the kitchen doorway, she asked, “What’s up?”

“Christ.” He grimaced and then with a resumed panicked look in his eyes opened the fridge and took out a Fanta.

“Since when do you drink that stuff?”

“Since I desperately need to cool off.” He popped open the tab and began to pour it down his throat.

“I guess it’s pretty hot out there. But it was hotter in Ibiza.”

He stopped drinking and gulped, before saying in a terse tone,” It’s pronounced I-bee-tha.”

“No it’s not, dumbass. I should know. I’ve been there. Eye-bee-za.”

He began to roll the can against this throat and sighed wearily. “How can you be so stupid about some things yet so perceptive about others?”

“Hey, I graduated too you know.” She puffed out her chest and added, “And I’m going to grad school. So suck it.”

He stuck his tongue out at her in response.

She then followed his gaze over to the back of Annie and Troy’s heads and said, “Did you guys have a nice afternoon?”

“Um, yeah. Thanks for spending time with Sophie.”

“It was fun. I missed her. Hope you don’t mind, but I got her a necklace. I figured she can’t always wear Pierce’s pearls, and this one just seemed more fun.”

He smiled at her then, and she was reminded he wasn’t a complete jerk. She had kind of missed him too, but she wouldn’t tell him that. The thought of their study group no longer existing was kind of making her sad these days, which is why the vacation was well timed. But she supposed she’d still see Troy and Abed, even if she did feel like a third wheel sometimes, and she definitely wanted to keep in touch with Sophie and Annie.

And Shirley was pretty cool too, especially when you got her talking about her business. She was all for female empowerment and kept a watchful eye on that Andre. Something told her Shirley might need her help with that at some point.

She considered Jeff again. Yeah, she’d keep in touch with him too. He had grown on her throughout the past few years.

She awkwardly punched his shoulder and said, “Make sure you keep it up.”

“Jesus, Britta. How did you…”

\--“What? I don’t want us to lose touch just because we graduated. Make sure you keep in touch with me.”

“Um, yeah. Of course. Yikes.”

His eyes had briefly widened, but they returned to their usual size and he placed his hand near his jaw and rubbed it. His skin seemed flushed, and there was an odd redness around his mouth.

She studied his face, and didn’t know what she had missed, but figured it couldn’t be that important. He was always a little strange anyway. But Greendale in general seemed almost surreal upon her return from abroad, so she didn’t want to over think it.

“I think Jeff’s afraid you’ve caught on to his and Annie’s sexcapades.”

They both gasped and swirled around to see Abed standing in the kitchen corner, calmly munching on cornflakes.

She shrieked, “Abed! How long have you been standing there?”

“Your entire conversation. I was in here first.”

They exchanged sheepish looks, aware they had been pretty self-absorbed. She then remembered Abed’s words.

“Sexcapades?”

Jeff gave her a tightened smile and walked over to Abed and smacked him on his head.

“Ouch.”

“You need to stop it with the commentary.”

Unfazed, Abed made a beeline toward her and explained, “He and Annie have been having _a lot_ of sex. Troy's been watching Sophie over the past few days.”

Her eyes widened as she considered this, and she was suddenly aware of why Annie seemed to almost crow to the other mothers that morning. She had thought it was affected posturing, but now she realized that Annie had been deadly serious. She did get to take Jeff home.

And she had been pretty eager to have her spend time with Sophie.

She scowled and said, “I didn’t need to know that.”

Jeff joined them near the doorway and hissed, “No, you did not. Abed, how in hell did you know?”

Abed calmly turned toward him and said, “I’ve been reading about pregnancy. So that I can be prepared. And this happens to some women. I hope you’re ready, Jeff.”

At this, Jeff groaned and then ever so slowly sat down on a stool on the outside of the breakfast bar. Once again Britta had the realization of what it all meant, and she tried to suppress the images she had of them Doing It. She shuddered at the memory of him rubbing his jaw.

Jeff took another sip of Fanta and then said, “I don’t need to be ‘ready.’”

“But she is wearing you out?”

“Can we please not talk about this?”

Abed cocked his head and then after a few silent moments merely shrugged and walked back to the corner and stood there.

Jeff called after him, “What have you been up to anyway?”

“Just being a working man, Jeff. Gotta bring home the bacon.”

For the first time considering that she hadn’t yet caught up with Abed since their trip, for he had quickly excused himself at the realization that they were going to watch a claymation special, Britta asked, “Did you end up working for that company?”

Abed nodded and gave a low whistle. “I did. I think it’s going okay, but it is a grind let me tell you. A grind. I’ve been in a sour mood at the end of the day after dealing with the boss and after that long train ride both ways. I promised Troy I’d make it up to him, so we’re going to dinner tonight.”

“Oh, really? I thought maybe we could all make some food. I’ve missed you guys.” She began to fiddle a little with a straw wrapper she spotted on the counter.

“No can do, Britta. I haven’t been giving him enough attention. You understand?”

“Um, yeah. Sorry.”

Jeff piped in, “Why don’t you join us? You can even stay for a little while after Sophie goes to bed and tell us about your trip.”

She pondered this for a moment, confused as to Jeff’s sudden welcoming of her intrusion into his family life. He normally guarded that pretty heavily, liking nothing more than to retreat from group gatherings by a certain hour so that he Annie and Sophie could be alone.

Then it dawned on her.

“Hey, you want me to cockblock you?”

He whispered, “I don’t think it’s called cockblocking in this case. Merely run interference.” He glanced over at Annie, who Britta now realized was watching them while licking her lower lip and batting her lashes seductively.

Britta smiled politely over at Annie and then walked completely into the kitchen out of view and turned to face Jeff, one hand on her hip. She hoped she looked imposing. She couldn’t condone him trying to get something past Annie.

She watched as he waived in Annie’s direction and then ever so slowly rose from his stool and made his way over to the fridge, where he grabbed another Fanta, likely in an attempt to misdirect Annie.

He walked over to stand in between Britta and Abed, safely out of view from the living room and to Britta’s surprise, opened up the new can and finished it off in one long chug.

“Geez, Jeff, that’s a lot of empty calories there. Aren’t you afraid you’ll get fat?”

Uncharacteristically wiping his mouth with the back of his hand, he turned toward her and pursed his lips in frustration.

“I’ll have you know I’ve expended plenty of calories over the past few days.”

“Come on, I didn’t need to know that.”

Abed merely shook his head and sighed loudly.

Jeff placed the empty can next to the other one on the counter and firmly gripped her shoulders. Giving her a manic look, he pleaded, “Please, Britta. As much as I love Annie and love having sex with Annie, I can’t keep up this pace. She’s insatiable, and at this rate, she might actually kill me.”

“Yeah, right. Like it’s been _that_ crazy.”

“She told me she wants to break a record tonight. Trust me, you don’t want us to break our record. Two key parts of me will fall off. And then I won’t be able to have any more children, but more importantly I won’t be giving any more Winger speeches.” He wiggled his eyebrows for emphasis on that last part.

“Pig.” She shuddered and slapped his hands at the ickiness. Luckily he dropped them but continued nonverbally imploring her.

She caved, “Fine. But you owe me one.”

“You’re the best, Britta. Thank you.”

Well, she’d take that. At least no one had called her the worst today. It felt good to be needed by her friends, even if she needed a bottle of bleach to scrub the images from her mind.

Abed resumed eating his cornflakes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	10. Intermediate Genealogy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Rachel pays a visit

“Hi baby.”

Annie looked up and smiled slightly and let her hand cover Jeff’s, which was touching her belly. She had been frantically attempting to get the kitchen in order, as her mother was due any minute. But the moment she sensed Jeff’s presence as he came up behind her and nuzzled her neck, she felt calmer.

“Does the baby still like when I do that?”

She nodded and felt him smile into her neck. Although she swore she could notice their baby fluttering around here and there, she was still a bit disappointed that Jeff couldn’t, and she knew he was eager to interact a bit more with their child. It warmed her heart that he was so excited about everything and had been indulgent of her whims lately, especially in the food department.

She also had a sneaking suspicion that he had been getting a little tired out, but she couldn’t help herself. He was just too sexy.

She slowly turned around to face him and placed a kiss on his neck.

“Promise me it’ll be okay?”

He looked down at her, his eyes soft and understanding.

“Your mom loves spoiling Sophie. I’m sure they’ll have a great time.”

“Was I awful in not inviting her to the birthday party?”

“No.”

She felt relieved, for the issue still nagged at her. They had thrown a smaller party, having learned from their mistake last year. She hadn’t wanted her mother unchaperoned by Anthony, who was still in California, wreak havoc on her friends, and frankly, having a whole bunch of bored adults standing around at a fourth birthday party had just seemed unnecessary. So, they had invited over Holly’s kids, little Ben, and Dino to Dorie’s house and gotten a cake. Of course the study group had insisted on attending despite being encouraged to skip, but they hadn’t included the Dean or Kevin, and Ian had gracefully bowed out from Britta’s pushiness, citing some unspecified prior commitments.

Of course it had been nice to have Buzz there, as he insisted on all the children being briefed on tree house etiquette. They had followed up with a cartoon to wind down and the adults, with the exception of Troy and Abed, had retreated to the back deck to talk amongst themselves. It had been fairly laid back and really nice.

Sophie had shown off her haircut, and Jeff had helped her blow out her birthday candles, confiding in Annie later how great it was to have a memory of a child’s birthday in the house, as he had been thinking more lately about his dad having belittled him on his fourth birthday.

They had wanted everything to be nice for Sophie, and she had enjoyed herself. It almost made Annie forget about getting her first stress headache at that age.

And then Sophie had asked where her Bubbe was, and Annie had broken down in tears, which she tried her best to let Sophie know were not her fault, and then had quickly excused herself. She was pretty sure she heard Jeff telling Sophie later that the baby in mommy’s tummy sometimes made her cry because babies cry.

That had been pretty cute.

But she still had felt horribly guilty and ended up calling her mother and inviting her to come over to celebrate Sophie’s birthday the next week, omitting the fact that they had a celebration with their friends. She decided to just let her mother think that it had only been a kiddie party.

Jeff’s voice roused her back to the present.

“It’ll be fine. It made no sense to mix her again with everyone else. Last time that contributed to more than enough drama.”

She nodded and stifled a sob, having a more difficult time these days in general not tearing up even when happy things occurred. Jeff let his hand graze her cheek as he leaned in for a quick kiss.

She then felt a tug on her yoga pants and laughed and then looked down to see Sophie, who had quietly approached.

“Oh, hi sweetie. I didn’t know you were there.” She exchanged a quick bemused look with Jeff.

Sophie was staring up at her with wide eyes and slight pout.

_“Mama cwy again? Id okay.”_

“Thank you, sweetie. I’m fine.”

Sophie nodded sagely and glanced at Jeff, who gave her a smirk, and she then cuddled into Annie’s leg a bit before there was knock at the door. She then broke out into a grin and squealed, _“Id Bubbe! Yay!”_ bounding off to supposedly answer it.

Jeff said, “I’ll go help her with that. Love you.”

“Love you too.”

She took a deep breath to collect herself and began to run a wet rag lightly over the counter, just to collect any remaining crumbs she might have missed. It gave her something to do in the remaining seconds until…

“Well, hello there sweetie.”

She turned to see her mother holding Sophie’s hand while attempting to balance a rather large gift bag in the other. Jeff came up behind them and was holding her purse, and Annie could have sworn he seemed a little flustered.

“Hi, mom.”

She stepped over and smiled brightly as she attempted to accept the gift bag, but then her mother made a tsking admonishment and turned to thrust it into Jeff’s hands. He quickly placed the purse on one of the stools so that he didn’t drop it, letting out a sigh of relief as he took it over to the dining table.

Rachel explained breezily as she turned back to give Annie a one pat hug, “You shouldn’t have to carry things in your condition.”

Annie rolled her eyes.

“I’m not _that_ pregnant.”

Glancing down at her midsection, Rachel said, “My, you are definitely showing more now. I haven’t seen you in a couple weeks.” She paused and then with a crick in the space between her brows added, “And yoga pants? Really, we need to get you something decent to wear, and that top you have on isn’t doing you any favors.” She reached over and tugged on the hem and leaned to the side to view her profile.

She continued, “Hmmm. That actually makes you look larger than you are. You really need something more fitted.” She began to skim her hand near the bump, and Annie instinctively swatted it away.

“Mom, I…”

_“Da baby get a little bigger. But der no baby out yet, just me.”_

The both paused in their fussiness over Annie’s shirt, and exchanged guilty looks before they looked down to see Sophie wedged in between them, her hands raised up. It was only then that Annie noticed her mother was wearing fuzzy red slippers. She supposed she must have left her stilettos near the door.

Rachel promptly crouched to pick Sophie up and then hoisted her to her hip and gave her a kiss on the cheek. She said, “That’s right, my sweetie. And you’re four years old! Why, that’s a very special birthday, which is why Bubbe got you a lot of presents!”

_“Yay!”_

Annie stared dumfounded as she noted the ease with which her mother appeared to handle Sophie, for she couldn’t even imagine this scenario six months ago, certainly not a year and half ago when they reunited. Her mother had seemed to regard Sophie as a cute little alien for months, but with Anthony taking more of the lead in play time, she had warmed up a bit and had been baking and coloring with Sophie on several occasions. Since Anthony left, which also coincided with the new baby announcement, she seemed to step up her efforts.

She supposed she should be grateful.

Her mother prattled on, “I’ll take you shopping for some nice maternity clothes. You don’t want to go to your administration job looking like a slob, now do you?”

Jeff had rejoined them by this point and was rubbing Annie’s shoulders. He cleared his throat, and Annie felt relieved that he was by her side. She made a mental note to go easy on him tonight as they went through his bar examination flash cards.

At this, Rachel rolled her eyes at Jeff and then addressed Annie, “A woman needs to always look her best, and it’ll give you a rush of confidence, trust me. Why, I had bunch of very stylish maternity suits I wore when I was carrying you. I still felt professional, even if I felt terrible. I think I was just as sick as you were a few weeks ago.”

Annie went from annoyance to curiosity, which surprised her. She felt a rush of questions emerge, for she hadn’t had the opportunity to talk to her mom about any pregnancy related things the last time. It had felt fairly lonely, even if she did have Nancy’s support. She had missed her mother.

She ventured, “Mom, could we, um, talk soon about some things?”

“Things?” Rachel asked absentmindedly as she puffed out her lips at Sophie, who giggled in response.

Annie patted Jeff’s hand so that he would stop, and she felt his hands reluctantly drop. She stepped closer to her mother.

“Yes. I was wondering about some pregnancy stuff, and I just thought, well, since you used to be pregnant with me, maybe we could talk about it?”

Rachel’s face lit up and she replied, “Absolutely. When we go shopping?”

“Yeah, um okay.”

“Excellent.” Rachel smiled triumphantly and then turned her attentions back to Sophie.

Annie smiled slightly at Jeff, who had moved so that he was standing by her side. He squinted at her in she assumed befuddlement. She didn’t know if she could fully understand it herself right now.

_“You Mama’s mama?”_

“That’s right, sweetie.”

_“Mama was in you tummy?”_

“Why yes she was. And then she was born, and then she was a little baby, and then a little girl, just like you, and then she grew up.”

_“I was in Mama’s tummy. But I got out.”_

“That’s right, sweetie.” Rachel kissed Sophie again, and Sophie buried her head into her shoulder. Rachel then turned to look at Annie and there was a flicker of something in her eyes.

Annie could have sworn it was guilt.

 

X

“So I told him he needs to think it through.”

Annie nodded absentmindedly to her mother as she regarded the bit of chicken left on Jeff’s plate. He hadn’t touched it in minutes.

“Now, as much as this might seem strange for me to say, Anthony’s got a decent head on his shoulders these days. I’m sure they’ll be fine.”

“Jeff, do you really think,” Rachel’s voice lowered to an almost whisper as she continued, “he’s ready for this? Why he just left home for the first time.”

Why hadn’t he eaten the chicken?

“He’s just having his girlfriend visit. Sounds like fun.”

“That’s exactly what I’m concerned about. He won’t even hear me say a word on it. All I was trying to do was encourage him to use…” she glanced at Sophie, who was looking back and forth between her and Jeff with curiosity, and then plastered on a smile. “You know what, never mind. This is a happy time. It’s Sophie’s birthday. Yay!” She clapped her hands, and Sophie did the same.

_“Yay! Id my birthday! I fowr!”_

“Are you going to eat that?”

Both Jeff and Rachel seemed stunned for some reason. She supposed she could have used a softer tone.

Jeff slowly turned toward her and his eyes widened slightly as he replied, “Um, you can have it.” He lifted his plate and used his fork to slide the piece onto hers.

Thank god.

She smiled sweetly and said, “Thank you.”

She began to prep the piece for consumption, and it took her several moments before she realized that the room was silent. She glanced up to see Jeff and her mother regarding her with strange expressions.

“What is it?” She was slightly annoyed, as this was only going to slow her down.

_“Mama, that look yucky. What you eat dat?”_  Sophie scrunched up her nose in disgust before breaking out in giggles.

Jeff patted Sophie’s chuckling shoulder as he cleared his throat and said, “Um, that’s interesting what you’ve got going on there.” He indicated with his head toward her plate.

She rolled her eyes and picked up the sandwich she had made from one of the leftover buns and bit in.

Delicious. This was exactly what she needed.

“Annie, did you just put peanut butter, a slice of cheese, and a pickle on top of chicken?”

She nodded smugly as she continued to chew. She supposed he was just jealous for not having thought of it before. She wondered if Troy had ever done this, since he was so good at making sandwiches. He had made her several really good ones this past week. One had strawberry gelatin, cream cheese, and Doritos. She had needed to add peanut butter of course, but he hadn’t seemed to think that was weird.

She’d have to text him later about this one so he could add it to the recipe book.

Jeff droned on, “Dear god, did you also put cottage cheese on it? When did you get up and get the cottage cheese?” He sighed loudly and then mock-gasped, “Is that butter on the side?”

_“Mama so silly! Yuck yuck! I wan butter, Daddy.”_

She finally looked up to see Jeff’s wide eyes.

She paused between bites, which was something she was pretty irritated about, and said, “Stop making fun of me. This is actually really good. You should try it.”

“You’re seriously going to let me try it? Why do I get a feeling if I reached over there you’d stab me with a fork?”

“I’m sorry about yesterday.”

At this, Rachel cleared her throat and said, “Annie, sweetie, that is very interesting. Have you been having a lot of cravings?”

“I guess.” She shrugged and took another bite.

“The baby needs fats and protein. Good job.”

She nodded appreciatively as she continued to chew.

Jeff slid over the remaining butter toward Sophie.

 

X

Annie let Jeff give her a hug in the kitchen, feeling content in his arms as she considered the visit was going well. After dinner, Rachel played with Sophie, giving her a couple presents, which were mostly apparel related, from the large bag. She said something about there being one more present that she would give her after they had cake, and then had followed Sophie to her room so that they could try on the glittery purple dress.

“I’m so glad she’s being nice.”

Jeff stepped out of the embrace and pulled up a stool for her, motioning for her to sit. She smiled appreciatively and did so, and he joined her, she supposed so that they were closer in height.

He leaned his elbow on the clean countertop and cradled his head as he said, “I told you. But I’m sorry she said all of those unnecessary things about your outfit. You look gorgeous, as always.” He flashed her a grin and playfully tugged on her shirt.

She frowned and glanced down, placing her hand on the bump. “I suppose she’s right. I would like to wear something nicer, but I didn’t want to invest the money since I’m probably going to grow out of it in a week.”

“Especially if you keep eating those sandwiches.”

She swatted him and stuck out her tongue, and he chuckled.

“I’m sorry. I love that you’re eating. Thanks for taking care of munchkin number two.”

“You’re welcome.”

She preened, and he reached over to kiss her belly, something she still found endearing. He stayed there for a few moments longer, and whispered, “Let me know when I get to feel you.”

“I’m sure they’ll let us know.”

“Love you, munchkin number two.”

He sat back up fully and then placed his arm around her shoulders. They began to bask in this moment, her head falling against him.

“Anna Elizabeth.”

She looked up sharply and felt Jeff’s hand fall away. Her mother was standing in the doorway and, although her words had been soft in volume, was regarding her with a look of fury.

“What?”

“I just came from your bedroom. Sophie wanted me to see where you were going to keep the baby.”

Annie felt her chest briefly constrict, for she knew what this was about. It was part of the reason she had tried to put everything away earlier, but Jeff had stopped her, saying that she didn’t need to clean up and that she would be running herself exhausted. He hadn’t understood, and she hadn’t been in the mood to explain it to him.

Dammit.

With Jeff’s assistance, she got down from the stool and, after giving Jeff a reassuring hand squeeze, walked over to her mother.

“Mom, you shouldn’t have been in our bedroom.”

“Maybe not, but Sophie was so excited.”

“Where is she?”

“I told her to find a movie for us to watch.”

Annie shook her head and then marched down the hallway to the bedroom, letting her mother follow. She glanced at Sophie and Ruffles rifling through some DVDs near the living room television, and then continued on her way. She entered the bedroom and then closed the door behind them.

She whipped around and hissed, “Mom. Please don’t make this into a big deal.”

Her mother cocked her head and gave her a pointed look before turning and making a sweeping gesture across the left side of the room.

“You know better than this. You don’t tempt fate!”

Annie sighed as she spotted the baby bassinette that Nancy had gotten out for her. This one attached to a bed, and she had been practicing trying to secure it to her side, just to make sure it would work with theirs. She had been having so much more energy lately that it seemed a shame to waste it, so she had been getting to work on some things before she turned into a whale.

Next to the bassinette was also a changing table she had gotten out of their basement storage locker. On it was a pile of little white and yellow socks and Sophie’s white newborn hat, all liberated from Sophie’s baby box, Nancy having been kind to return to her the leftovers survived by baby Elizabeth.

Her eyes then went to the small, adorable itsy bitsy little bib Shirley had snagged at a garage sale last week. It was embroidered with duckies and the phrase, ‘I am precious.’

She turned back to her mother’s now frantic eyes and said, “Mom, it’s just a few things.”

“Anna, we do not do this. And will you please stop smiling. Shhhh.” She stepped over and placed her hand on Annie’s arm, her brow furrowed in worry.

Annie knew her mother would be ridiculous about things like this, and that is what she had so far failed to fully explain to Jeff, but she supposed after today she’d have to clue him in. She waltzed over to the changing table and picked up a sock.

“These are just cute things. I kept a box of Sophie’s things, and I’ve been going through it, and a friend gave me this bassinette and I wanted to see if it would fit.”

“You could do all of this after the baby is born.”

“When I have what time or energy?”

“That’s what Jeff’s for.”

Annie smirked at this, but then let out a wearied sigh as she said, “That’s when I want him with me and our baby. And Sophie will need him too. I don’t want him running around at the last minute trying to get everything together.”

Her mother frowned and walked almost gingerly over to her. She glanced at the sock in her hand and then said, “I suppose you’re going to do the whole baby shower mishegas too.”

“I don’t know.”

“It would be an outright initiation to…”

\--“Mom, stop. I don’t believe in superstition. And we were getting along so well. I was hoping this time you could help me.”

Her mother slowly shook her head and then said through a clenched jaw, “Fine.” She took a deep breath and then turned away for a moment, and Annie could have sworn she wiped her face before she turned back and said, “I could take all these things home and put them in the attic. Jeff could come by and pick them up before they let you out of the hospital.”

“No.” She began to caress the little sock and started to cry, which some might have accused her as being manipulative (Bambi eyes?), but she couldn’t help it.

“Oh, sweetie. I’m sorry.”

She felt her mother’s arm around her, and she let her pull her into a hug, a sensation about which she still had mixed feelings. But this did feel nice.

Her mother said, “We can do this however you want to do it. I guess I just assumed you would be following tradition. I haven’t seen you make any announcements on social media.”

Annie mumbled into her mother’s shoulder, “That’s because I haven’t told Daddy.”

Her mother tensed and then moved out of the embrace and regarded her with confusion.

She clarified, “I haven’t been able to do it. I’m not sure why. Ever since his visit, I’ve felt really off with him. He’s been asking me and Sophie to come out and visit, but I don’t want to.”

She waited for her mother’s reaction, not knowing what to expect. She knew her parents hated each other and they had a rule not to discuss her father but she considered that part of her wanted to get her mother’s opinion. It was probably stupid, but she didn’t care.

After a few moments, her mother said, “I understand. He can be a difficult person to be around.”

“But we were getting along so well before he came out here. And then it was weird, and then it seemed a little better before he left, and then it now seems wrong. We Skype, and he says hello to Sophie sometimes too, but I’ve been avoiding that lately, obviously.” She placed her hand almost protectively on her belly and looked up at her mother.

“You should probably tell him.”

“I will. Soon.”

“Are you concerned about his reaction?”

“That’s just it. I was worried about yours, but with him I just don’t care.”

Her mother’s eyes widened and she started to say something, but they were interrupted by a knock at the door. It then creaked open and Jeff popped his head in. She gave him a reassuring smile, and silently mouthed to him that things were okay.

He glanced over at Rachel, and she sighed.

“I apologize for making a scene, Jeff. Annie explained it all to me, and I understand.”

“Understand what?”

Annie piped in, “I haven’t really educated Jeff about all the Jewish customs.”

“Ahh. Well, he’s in for a lifetime of learning.”

They both giggled, and Jeff stood there confused.

 

X

Annie turned around and handed her mother the framed photo, and her mother reluctantly accepted it, barely looking down.

“Mom, please. It’s just a sonogram.”

“I know. Thank you.”

“You can look at it, you know. I don’t think that’s covered by superstition.”

“You framed it.”

“It’s special.”

With a heavy sigh, Rachel held up the picture and regarded it for a few moments. She smiled slightly as she said, “Oh my, that is a good scan. You can see everything very clearly.”

“Did you see the little nose? And the arms?”

“I suppose that is a nose, isn’t it? And what does it say here?” Her eyes widened as she read the words Annie had asked the technician to type.

‘Hi Bubbe.’

 

X

After cake, Sophie ripped into her remaining present, tearing open the wrapping paper as both Rachel and Annie stiffened, much to Jeff’s amusement.He had been worried about what he had walked in on earlier, but Annie had reassured him everything was fine. Apparently there was some old fashioned thinking going on, which surprised him since Rachel seemed like a fairly savvy modern woman. But Annie had quickly explained that certain things were a sensitive subject.

He didn’t really care to be honest. He just wanted Rachel to shut up and let Annie be happy this time. He had been doing his best to indulge her every whim, for seeing her eyes light up as she perhaps prematurely hauled out the changing table, made his heart swell. He had then grabbed it from her and insisted on carrying it the rest of the way. No way was she going to hurt herself, even if she did insist he was being silly.

The bassinette contraption had kind of freaked him out, but she was adamant it would be detached from their bed by tomorrow. There was so much that was going to change in their lives, but he was content to enjoy the last few months of sleeping.

He turned his attentions back to Sophie and her present, and he scooted over from his spot on the floor toward her and very gently assisted her in freeing the creature inside. He trusted himself to do this, as he liked to think he did a pretty good job of letting her think she did it all herself. It was kind of important to her.

_“Oh, I love it so much!”_ Sophie squealed as she held up the stuffed toy dragon.

Ruffles sat to her left and cocked her head, her little tail wagging in excitement.

Rachel clapped her hands and said, “Good! She told me to get her for you. She’s a very special dragon.”

Jeff cast Annie a curious look, and she shrugged.

Sophie walked over to Rachel, Ruffles trotting after her, and jutted the dragon forward as she roared, _“I a dwagon! I puwple!”_

“That’s your favorite color, isn’t it?”

Sophie nodded and continued to roar, which seemed to amuse Rachel to no end. Her eyes danced as she leaned forward and said to Sophie in an almost conspiratorial half-whisper, “You know, she has a name. She told me herself.”

Sophie stilled and fell silent, clearly transfixed. She then managed, _“She told you? She can talk?”_

Rachel nodded, a now overly serious expression on her face.

“She can, but only if you listen very closely.” She leaned in and waited near the dragon’s mouth, and Sophie did the same. Ruffles nudged her head against Sophie’s ankles.

Jeff sat back and crossed his arms, watching the interplay with some surprise. Yet he knew Rachel had been the one to give Annie most of her stuffed creatures. And he just remembered that she had named at least Hillary Rodham Kitten.

Rachel said, “Did you hear her? She said it.”

_“Yah, I hear her. She say it.”_ Sophie looked up with a half question and waited.

Now full on beaming, Rachel said, “Her name is Arianna Puffington!”

Sophie shrieked with delight, and Rachel scooped her up onto her lap and took the dragon, making it prance to the left and right as Sophie continued to squeal.

Jeff smiled and turned his attentions back to Annie, seeing the tears silently falling down her cheeks. He rose and sat down next o her on the couch, letting her fall into his side.

He leaned down and whispered, “Everything will be okay.”

“I think it will be.”

 

X

Jeff handed Rachel her stilettos, and she smiled wryly at him and then accepted them.

_“Dank you for Awana Puffton und the dwess.”_ Sophie swished the purple skirt back and forth as she stood in between them.

Ruffles pawed at Sophie’s dress, and Jeff promptly scooped her up.

Rachel bent down and gave Sophie a hug. “I’ll see you soon.”

_“Bye bye Bubbe.”_

Rachel stood, and Jeff grabbed the stack of mail on the small table near the door and handed it to Sophie, knowing she’d understand to give it to Annie, who had already said her goodbyes and was ripping off the band aid and making a quick call to her father, per her mother’s suggestion. Jeff was silently grateful that Rachel had pushed Annie into it, for the angst of her putting it off had been making him anxious for some reason.

As Sophie ran off, Jeff let Ruffles go and then allowed Rachel to steady herself against him as she put on each heel. She smiled appreciatively and then stood to face him for some awkward moments.

“Hey, thanks for coming. Sophie had a blast.”

“Thank you and Annie for inviting me. I was surprised given that Anthony isn’t here.”

“Rachel, you know you can see Sophie without Anthony.”

“Now I do.”

There was another pause, and then Rachel said, “I saw the way you comforted her earlier. She’s very emotional lately, and she will be for a while. I’m glad you’re here for her.”

“Um, yeah, of course I am.”

She smiled slightly and said, “Let’s let bygones be bygones, Jeff. No need for you to tell her about our little phone call.”

He groaned. “Of course I’m not going to tell her about that. Come on. She needs you. And as much as it maddens me how you weren’t here for her the last time, I’m actually pretty grateful you’re here for her now.”

“If I had known she had still been pregnant…”

\--“Yeah yeah. Right.”

She huffed. “Anyway, you’re back in my good graces, Jeff.”

He smiled tightly and accepted her hug. He supposed it was for the best, even if her manner at times annoyed him. He’d take her over Paul Edison any day.

Against perhaps his best interest, but he couldn't resist, he said sardonically, "I'm so happy that I got you out of jail."

Right before they pulled out of the embrace, she whispered into his ear, “I look forward to being involved in this baby’s life right from the beginning. I’ll see you in the delivery room.”

He was so stunned as she winked and let herself out, that he barely registered Ruffles running by with Arianna Puffington in her mouth.

 

X

“It’s done.”

Annie still clasped her phone, and he inwardly relaxed as he carefully freed the dragon from the beast’s ferocious fangs as Sophie looked up forelongingly.

He let Ruffles go, and went to the sink, grabbing a clean kitchen towel. He supposed he’d at least attempt to get some of the slobber off. Sophie followed him, and Annie took the mail from her and assisted Sophie in climbing up on a stool so that she could watch the bath.

As he wiped at the dragon, he said, “I’m glad you made that call. Everything go okay?”

“Yeah. He was surprised of course, especially when I told him how far along I was. I let him think we hadn’t told many people, for _superstitious_  reasons.”

They exchanged bemused looks, and then he got back down to business. He wondered if he should do this with wet wipes, but he wasn’t sure how dog saliva reacted with those things. He regarded the tag and noticed it was machine washable.

As if she read his mind, Annie handed him a pack of wet wipes, and he proceeded. After a minute or so, he handed the dragon back to Sophie, who hugged it immediately.

_“Oh, I can’t believe Wuffles did this to you! Oh no, doggie! She can’t eat you. You Awana Puffton. You a dwagon.”_

“That’s right, munchkin. But maybe keep her away from Ruffles, okay?”

_“Okay.”_

“Go get Ruffles her ball.”

Sophie nodded, and he helped her down from the stool, and she ran off toward the living room. He looked up to see Annie regarding him curiously, a light brown colored envelope in her hand.

“Were you going to tell me about this?”

“Hmm?”

“This invitation.”

He frowned as he walked over to her and eyed the envelope.

“Did we get invited to Pierce’s tenth wedding or something? I have no clue what that is.”

“Jeff, your firm is having a party. There’s a handwritten note inside from Ted himself, requesting our presence. It’s addressed to both you and me.”

He now fully took in the sight of the card, accepting it from Annie and reading it thoroughly. He had known about the party of course, but was still attempting to strategize his way out of it.

“Annie, we can’t go. I’ll make something up.”

She tilted her head and gave him one of her wide-eyed please-do-as-I-say-but-I’m-not-telling-you-to-do-anything-of-course looks, and he groaned.

“Jeff.”

“Yeah, I know.”

“If you don’t go, everyone will know you’re going to leave, and then they're going to make things really unpleasant for you.”

He closed his eyes for a few moments and cringed. He knew she was right. She was always right.

“And I should definitely go with you.”

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More lawyer!Jeff coming up...


	11. Advances in Human Evolution

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff reveals more to members of his firm

“Do you want to know the sex of the baby?”

They exchanged looks as Jeff held Annie’s hand, both of them up until this point rather giddily observing the twenty week sonogram as the doctor had been remarking on the fact that everything was developing normally.

Thank god.

Jeff had been rather transfixed in awe at the screen, watching what was pretty obviously a baby, even if the features were blurred. They had talked in advance about if they would want to know the sex, and they had been of different opinions on the subject.

“Jeff, come on.” Annie flashed a grin at him, and he let out a sigh.

“I don’t want to know.”

He really didn’t. The fact that they were having a healthy baby (he hoped) was the most important thing. And he kind of wanted to be surprised.

He smirked at her and leaned over to give her a kiss on the cheek. He could tell she wasn’t really trying to cajole him into changing his mind, but he supposed she had to try one more time. She had seemed to understand his reason, even if she didn’t share it. This particular decision seemed to reflect in general the way they were each approaching the pregnancy. Annie was way more full of gusto, and he was more tentative and low-key excited. He supposed some of that probably had to do with the fact that she had been through this before, but he had the sneaking suspicion that it also reflected Annie’s tendency toward optimism and his lawyerly nature.

Never count on things too soon. If they found out the sex, then….he didn’t want to think about it. God, he sounded like Rachel.

Doctor Samuelson piped in, “Well, this is a common issue with parents. What we could do is just tell you, Annie, if you think that would work for the two of you?”

Annie’s eyes widened and she shifted slightly from her recumbent position, the sonogram wand still on her belly, and murmured, “Oh, no, we couldn’t.”

Jeff gave her hand a squeeze, and eyeing the bump, which had been growing yet again and god she looked pretty darn pregnant the past couple days, said, “I mean if you really want to know, I don’t want to be a downer, if you promise not to tell me? Would that be weird?”

He waited for her response, fully knowing he sounded like a bumbling idiot.

She gave him a reassuring smile and adamantly shook her head. “We’re in this together. I can wait.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yes. It’ll be an extra surprise.”

They smiled at each other, and the doctor made a note in the chart, Jeff assumed to make sure no one accidentally revealed the sex to them. He had a brief need to know, but he tamped that down and told himself it didn’t matter. He honestly wasn’t sure if he even had a preference.

Munchkin number two would be munchkin number two.

He supposed he needed to come up with a less clunky nickname.

“Your baby is about half-way there. Everything’s pretty much formed by now, and they’re just growing. Have you been singing to them, playing music? I’d recommend it.”

Annie cast Jeff a bemused look, and then addressed the doctor, “Jeff won’t sing, but he talks to them, and I’ve been singing. Our four year old has been playing them her favorite songs.”

Jeff wondered if Annie had sung Sophie similar songs. He made a mental note to ask her.

Annie then scooted up on her elbows, and asked, “I can feel them move, but Jeff can’t yet. Is that okay?”

“Yes, perfectly normal. It could be any day now, or maybe a few more weeks.”

Jeff felt a little disappointed at that one. He had been counting on some miraculous twenty-week mark, reading that it could be around there. But he supposed he could wait.

He smiled tightly and gave Annie another kiss.

 

X

X

 

They held hands as they entered Apartment 303, having knocked and heard a holler from Troy that they could come in. Jeff made a mental note to chastise him later about letting just anyone in. It didn’t make him that much more secure about letting Sophie and Ruffles stay over night.

They were on their way to the firm’s party, and the arrangement was that Troy, Abed, and Britta would babysit. Britta insisted that she would keep her cats confined to her room so as not to provoke Ruffles. Jeff had put the kibosh on Troy and Abed coming over to their place, as he sensed they might mess with his clothes again, and Britta always refused to stay over for some reason, mumbling that it was weird. He tried to not over think that one, but it kind of would have bothered him too, her falling asleep in their bed.

Plus he and Annie wanted to allow for some time alone after the party. He anticipated that it would not be a pleasant time, and his plan was for them to put in a decent appearance and then leave, hopefully then having a quiet evening at home.

 

X

Appearance. Right. After Annie’s insistence that she accompany him to the party – _Jeff, it would be weird if you didn’t bring me – And of course you have to go, otherwise they’ll suspect you’re leaving – There will be clients there? Jeff, you HAVE to go! – They’ll love me!_ – he had finally relented and sent in the RSVP to Ted.

He had then figured it would be awkward if he didn’t tell Ted about the new baby. He liked to keep his personal life separate from the filth of the place, and so far only Mark knew. Shit he hadn’t even told Penelope out of some perhaps misguided fear that she would tell another paralegal and then word would get out. Not that it was something he was ashamed of, but he just didn’t want any of them in his business. And he would soon be taking his business elsewhere.

He also realized they’d face the Alan situation. Although part of him strongly wondered if Alan in his ego-driven state would even recognize Annie, he supposed he’d need to head that off too. Annie insisted it wouldn’t be an issue, explaining that NA was confidential. He supposed other than getting some shocked reaction from Alan and likely some snarky remarks, Alan wouldn’t tell anyone about Annie’s past, given he’d likely not want to make a big deal of his own. But then again, this was Alan.

Jeff approached Penelope first, tapping her desk playfully before sitting on the edge of it and rolling a penny toward her. She smirked as she picked it up and placed it in the tray full of pennies.

“That’s from Sophie. She says hi.”

“I can’t take money from a child, Jeff.”

“She insisted. But she asked for two back.”

With a chuckle, Penelope picked out two shiny pennies and placed them into his outstretched palm. He pocketed them and then cleared his throat.

“So, um, speaking of Sophie, she wanted me to tell you something else. She has news.”

At this, Penelope lifted her head from her computer screen and regarded him with a glint of amusement in her eyes.

“Really? I’m all ears. Is she planning on paying her daddy another visit at work?”

Jeff laughed, remembering the several times over the course of the spring semester when he had unfortunately needed to bring Sophie to work with him due to Greendale Daycare’s illness outbreaks. Despite his hesitations about getting too involved in formal instruction and potentially PTA meetings, he was actually looking forward to Sophie beginning a proper preschool in the fall, one he was fairly certain had better hygienic standards.

He wondered where they were going to put munchkin number two after Annie’s maternity leave.

He said aloud, “Hopefully not, but um. Yeah, her news is pretty exciting. She’s going to be a big sister.”

Instantly, Penelope smiled and Jeff had the suspicion that she wasn’t all that surprised.

“Awww, congratulations!”

“Thanks.” He smiled sheepishly and felt his cheeks warm as he began to fidget with her stapler.

She eyed his maneuverings and asked, “Why are you being so bashful? That’s great news! Aren’t you excited?”

“Oh, you have no idea. It’s just that um…” He hesitated and then looked up and said, “Annie’s twenty weeks. Please don’t kill me for not telling you sooner.”

Her expression faltered and she asked, “Was there a concern? Everything okay?”

He suddenly felt like an ass.

“No, everything’s been fine actually. Hitting all the milestones. Baby and Annie are doing great.” He annoyed himself as he actually knocked on the wooden desk. He was definitely turning into Rachel.

He explained, “You know how I don’t like to share my personal life at work. But well, I would have told you eventually anyway,”

Penelope’s eyes narrowed.

He cast his down and continued, “But well, Annie’s coming with me to the firm party, so I thought you should know now. And I’ll have to tell Ted and I suppose a couple of the other scum, just so they’re not complete dramatic jerks at the event. I don’t want to put Annie through that.”

He looked back up and was startled to see Penelope now grinning at him, having decided to do a complete 180 for some reason.

She leaned back in her chair and laced her fingers on her lap, her eyes dancing.

“What?”

“So I finally get to meet Mrs. Winger!”

“Mrs. Edison-Winger.”

They shared bemused looks, and it was a nice moment until Mitchell came rushing around the corner, a pile of folders in his arms.

At the sight of Jeff, he stopped and seemed almost relieved.

“Jeff! Need you. Ted’s office, ten minutes.”

“Hm?”

“The Chelsea case.”

“I have no idea what that is.”

“You have ten minutes to figure it out.” He thrust the stack of folders into Jeff’s arms, and Jeff did his best to jump up and balance everything so it wouldn’t come tumbling down.

“Why now?”

“Larry’s drunk. Face down under his desk. He was supposed to help me summarize some strategy points for Ted. In ten minutes.”

“Got it.”

Uncharacteristically, Mitchell mumbled, “Thanks.”

Jeff cast Penelope an apologetic smile and then headed for his office, Mitchell on his heels.

It took ten minutes. It was all they had. Jeff anxiously read through what he could as Mitchell practically yelled points at him. Luckily, Penelope rushed in and told Mitchell to calm the hell down (but nicer) and took out a pen and paper and had him dictate some things to her for Jeff to read through in the elevator.

It was an awkward ride up to Ted’s office, and Jeff could only ascertain from Mitchell’s franticness that there was some nefarious reason why he was asked to accompany him rather than Mitchell just handling it on his own and ratting Larry out.

“Mitchell, spill it. Why not tell Ted what happened to Larry?”

“Christ, Jeff. Let’s just not…”

Jeff arched a brow and said, “Ahhh, I get it. Larry has dirt on you.”

He knew he was right when Mitchell went pale, and Jeff wondered what on earth could be that bad.

Then again they were at Hamish Hamish & Hamlin.

He merely shook his head and looked down at Penelope’s surprisingly well-scrawled notes. He was wondering how he was actually doing in comprehending the case, but he was finding that he could skim through things relatively quickly these days, having likely benefitted from Annie’s tutelage.

Tutelage. Hee hee.

He glanced up as the doors parted, and they rushed down to Ted’s office, the assistant letting them in with a stern frown on her face.

They were five minutes late.

Crap.

Luckily, Ted seemed to be in a good mood, at least once he saw Jeff. It was actually a little unnerving.

“Jeff Winger? Why, I had no idea you were working the Chelsea case.” Ted waved them in and seemed to ignore Mitchell, handing Jeff a golf club as he turned his attentions to getting out a ball.

Jeff took a moment to regard the layout of Ted’s office, noticing the fairly elaborate mini golf set up. There was even a tiny windmill.

He tempered his smile, but then looked up and saw that Ted had already noticed it, but once again it didn’t seem to matter. Ted walked over and placed a ball down and then stood. Mitchell reached for the club in Ted’s hand, but Ted merely turned away from him and set out to tee off.

They spent the next few minutes taking turns, minus Mitchell who had been relegated to sitting near the desk with the pile of folders, and the game progressed. Jeff wondered how Mitchell had been under the impression any of this was urgent. But then again, he knew Ted was a crafty bastard. That look in Ted’s eyes at the sight of him had shifted some strategy he had had in mind, but Jeff wasn’t sure what it was.

Finally, Ted cast a pitying look over at Mitchell and then whispered, “I feel a little bad. I suppose we should discuss the case.”

“Yeah, maybe. But we could play another round?”

“Jeff Winger, I like how you think.”

After round two, they gathered the ball and clubs to put them away, and Jeff decided now was as good a time as any.

“I’m bringing my wife to the firm’s party.”

“So my assistant told me! I can’t wait to meet her. I’m bringing Ellen, of course. I told her all about you and…?”

“Annie.”

“Right. And your darling daughter. She’s a cutie.”

“Um, thanks.” Jeff remembered the odd moment late last year when Ted came by personally to congratulate him on his marriage and seemed to be taken with the pictures on his desk.

He cleared his throat and said, “I wanted to share some news with you, before you meet my wife. We’re expecting again.”

Ted swiveled around from his machinations with the clubs and cocked his head, his lips parting in that way they did when he was almost smiling.

He stepped forward and slapped him on the back as he roared, “No kidding! Congratulations!”

Jeff shirked slightly under the pressure but managed, “Thanks. Baby’s due around Christmas, so well, it’s kind of obvious now. We’re just getting around to telling everyone outside of immediate family.”

He smiled tightly and hoped the explanation would suffice. He was pretty sure Ted didn’t pay much attention to such things and wouldn’t even know what weeks or anything meant, so he was figuring it would be fine.

He heard Mitchell cough loudly, for it appeared he might have almost choked.

Ignoring it, Ted said, “That would put her at what, halfway?”

“Yeah, um, twenty weeks.”

Ted shook his head and chuckled. “That’s a crazy time. Ellen was loony around then, but it was all worth it. Billy turned out to be a solid kid, even if he did end up preferring choir to the football team. But man, you should hear his voice.” Ted stared at the ceiling and smiled, pausing for a moment of apparent reverence, before he snapped out of it and turned his attentions back to Mitchell at the far side of the room.

“Mitchell! What do you have for me? I don’t have all day!”

He once again slapped Jeff on the back, giving him a wink, before he waltzed over to the desk.

Jeff followed and did his best not to strut. That had all been new information, to be honest. He had met Ted’s wife superficially a couple times at past firm events, for she sometimes attended, but it had always been a quick intro followed by being pushed out by other eager-to-brown-nose associates. He had no idea they had a son, but he supposed that would not be that unusual. Most married couples had kids.

It was just that it was a little difficult to picture Ted as a father. The guy was kind of a manic loon, and he was known to spend endless hours at the office and was frequently away on business travel. And of course he liked to golf. Jeff shuddered as he considered that he didn’t want that life. He wanted to be able to see his kid(s) and share time with his wife, and he really didn’t want to golf every Wednesday and Friday. He was good at it because he had to be, but god he hated it.

Still, he had to admit having Ted’s attention felt kind of amazing. He had heard the rumors of course that Ted was eyeing him for promotion after he passed the bar, likely not right away of course, but probably within a year or two. Penelope had warned him that Ted wanted to groom him to take over some of their more conservative clients, and that he was considering _cleaning out the garbage_ at the firm. Jeff wondered what that meant, and he felt a pang of guilt at the thought that he and Mark might be leaving at a time when perhaps Ted was developing a conscience.

What if Ted were going to make some changes? What if he could have an amazing future here, without the stresses of starting his own firm?

They walked over to the desk and joined Mitchell, who as it looked had been awaiting them with a growing sense of irritation and low-key panic. It had turned out to be all fairly stupid, which he kind of figured after he had seen Ted’s stalling, and he was fairly sure that the whole thing was some sort of mindfuck of Mitchell than anything else, but he did his best to keep up and _summarize_ , per Mitchell’s instructions, letting Ted assume he had been helping out all along.

It was only once they were half way out the door when Ted shouted, “Mitchell! Tell Larry I had a great time last night and not to worry! He’s getting fired!”

Mitchell went solid white as he scurried off.

Jeff sighed and slowly made his way toward the elevators, passing by the coffee area. He stopped and picked up a Styrofoam cup, hearing Britta’s yelling about the environment in his head, and began to fill it up. He needed caffeine. Badly.

Sure, his ego had gotten its daily stroking (he briefly thought of Annie but pushed those thoughts down since Christ he was at work), but the fact that Ted had likely been out drinking with Larry last night was a reminder of the sick dynamics at play in the place.

Part of him found the whole thing kind of amusing though. Ted was a bastard. He smiled to himself while internally scolding himself for the admiration when someone bumped into his shoulder. He turned to his side with a frown.

“Hey Jeff.”

“Alan.”

He inwardly sighed and finished filling his cup, scanning the assortment of creamers and sugars available. He didn’t want his recent extra gym time to go to waste so he backed away and took a sip. Not too bad, he decided and began to make his way toward the elevators.

Alan quickly filled his cup and dumped a bunch of creamer in and then scurried up to him, his shorter legs needing to work harder to keep up. Jeff smirked as he pressed the button for his floor.

“Hey, Mitchell just told me you’re bringing your wife to the party and that she’s pregnant.”

Stunned at the efficiency of the gossip mill, Jeff knew he couldn’t put it off any longer. The party was in a little over a week, and he needed to handle the Alan situation.

Crap.

He glanced around and practically yanked Alan off to an empty conference room, closing the door behind them. Alan understandably appeared confused, yet intrigued. Jeff motioned for him to sit, and he joined him at the table.

Placing his coffee cup down, he cleared his throat and said, “I was going to tell you. Yes, Annie and I are expecting another child in a few months. And she will be joining me at the party.”

“No kidding.”

“Yeah, so um,…”

\--“I’m bringing my fiancé. Maybe the two broads can hit it off. But no babies for me, god, that’s nuts, I mean…” Alan’s eyes shifted and he then added, “Mitchell says Ted seemed impressed or something, hey is it because you have kids? If so, that doesn’t seem fair. We should be judged on the quality of our work.”

Ignoring the irony of Alan saying that, Jeff merely nodded. Wanting to deflect from Alan possibly considering parenthood next as a step closer to Ted, he quickly said, “Anyway, you’ll meet Annie, but I wanted to tell you, and I’m aware this might be awkward, but you already know her.”

At this, Alan cocked his head. “That makes no sense. How would I?”

“This is the awkward part. She’s in your NA group. Remember, you met her again about three years ago when my study group showed up at the firm party? You asked her to go to your office.”

Alan’s eyes went wide. “Oh my god, _that_ Annie?!? The one with the…” he made a crude gesture toward his chest with both hands and continued, “the one with the kid who….” He trailed off and stared at Jeff for confirmation.

Jeff merely nodded.

“God, Jeff, you married her? So that kid you brought here…”

\--“My daughter, Sophie.”

\--“She was the one Annie had from that druggie relationship, when she went into a coma or something?”

With a cringe, he replied, “It wasn’t a coma. But yes, there was a little drama involved there. But as you know, Annie’s fine now, and she’s been clean for years. And we trust that you will keep all of this information confidential, given that you’re both in NA.”

“But she told you I’m in NA!”

“No, _you_ told me you’re in NA. And she hasn’t ever told me if you still attend meetings or what you say. I have no clue what goes on there, actually, other than what she cares to tell me about her experience and insights. Not that she’s gone in a while, I think it’s been a few months, but still, rest assured she keeps your business to herself.”

Jeff felt perhaps slightly guilty at knowing that Annie had broken the confidentiality rule a few years ago in telling him that Alan had been the one to rat him out to the firm, but he figured it didn’t matter since he never did anything with that information anyway. The rest of it had been the truth; Annie hadn’t mentioned anything about Alan in the meetings for quite some time.

Alan took a few moments to collect himself, still stunned from the revelation, and blinked several times.

Finally, he said, “This is crazy. Why haven’t either one of you told me?”

Jeff shrugged. “Perhaps because neither one of us trusted you to keep your mouth shut.”

There was a flicker of something in Alan’s eyes. He then said, “You know, that hurts. To think that I would perhaps tell Ted that you married a cokehead, and ruin your chances of promotion. What do you think of me?” He then cracked a sly smile.

“I know, we were silly. Please forgive us. We know you wouldn’t do anything like that for if you did, Annie might have to tell Ted her side of the story. Everything she perhaps knows about a variety of things.”

They both stared at each other and were silent, their respective coffees seeming the most important thing for a couple minutes.

Finally, Allan said, “Ted knows I go to NA. He’s the one who sent me there in the first place, after that regrettable incident.”

“Ah yes. So he knows everything then.”

Alan smiled tightly, and Jeff knew he wouldn’t be a problem.

 

X

Jeff turned his attentions back to the present moment. They were entering Apartment 303, Sophie hoisted in his right arm as the elevator was broken again and he needed to carry her up, his left hand clasped to Annie’s, and Annie’s left occupied by Ruffles’ carrier.

He had felt a little bad at Annie having to take the stairs with Ruffles, but she insisted it was good exercise, and it was only three floors. She seemed slightly out of breath by the time they got to the floor, but she plastered on a smile and explained that things would only be getting more difficult from this moment on. She was almost twenty-two weeks.

Yikes, halfway cooked.

He reluctantly let Annie’s hand fall away so that he could bend down to let Sophie free.

_“Tit-ta! I here!”_

Britta scrambled out of her room and almost frantically shut the door behind her. She rushed over and bent down to give Sophie a hug.

“I’m so glad to see you. We’re going to have so much fun!”

Sophie nodded and held up her dragon. _“I got dis from my Bubbe, for my birthday. She Arana Puffton, and she’s a dwagon. Can we play with her and Mister Walter Whiskers, Tit-ta?”_

Britta glanced over at Ruffles, who was being let out of her carrier, and replied, “I don’t think the cats will want to play with Ruffles, but we can play with your dragon, maybe with Troy and Abed? I think they’re pretty into dragons. By the way, you can say Britta, right? You don’t have to keep calling me Tit-ta.”

Sophie scrunched up her face and shook her head. _“No, Tit-ta.”_

“Say Britta.”

_“Brit-ta.”_

“Great. So you can call me that. That’s my name.”

 _“No, I like Tit-ta. Dat you name.”_ Sophie giggled and poked Britta in the shoulder before full on flinging herself into her arms, the dragon smooshed in between them.

Britta cast a resigned yet loving look at Annie and Jeff, and honestly it was kind of adorable. Jeff briefly wondered if perhaps Britta would be a good mother, despite Annie sharing with him that Britta had taken that off the table. He wondered if that had more to do with Ian than with Britta’s actual feelings on the subject. He made a firm mental note to stay out of it.

He finished releasing Ruffles, for he hadn’t wanted Annie to do it, and stood, watching her run off toward the kitchen, likely looking for some crumbs.

“Yo, Ruffles, my dog! You want some of this?”

“Troy, please don’t feed her. We brought her food and treats.”

“Sorry, man. Too late. But um, I won’t do it again.”

Jeff rolled his eyes and turned back to see Britta now standing and admiring Annie’s dress. Annie turned from side to side and preened. He knew she felt beautiful tonight, which he suspected was part of the reason she had even wanted to go in the first place. She had gone shopping with her mother and had been wearing some very tasteful maternity outfits to work, and they had also found her a stunning black midi dress that showed off just enough leg to be suitable for summer while being sensible and appropriate for a work party. It was fitted with an empire waist. Annie had told him it was adjustable and had confessed that she had needed to expand it a little since her shopping trip.

She looked amazing, and he had already told her that several times. He was pretty darn proud he’d have such a beautiful wife on his arm entering the firm party, and he was so taken with her that he almost completely forgot that they’d have to talk to jackasses all night.

He was thinking like a sap, but he didn’t care.

“That dress looks great on you! Wow!”

“Thank you! My mom helped me find it. She knows this great place in Riverside.” Annie smiled and continued to swish her dress around.

“You guys are like friends now?”

Annie’s expression faltered a little, but she explained, “We’re better. She wants to be more involved, and I’ve decided to let her. We had a nice time shopping, and then we went to lunch.”

Sophie stared up at them, a small pout on her face. She said, _“I want to go to lunch too, Mama. And I wanted to wear my puwple dress.”_

Jeff crouched down and said, “We packed the purple dress, munchkin.” He handed her the backpack, and she broke out in a grin. He added, “And your bear is in there too, and your blanket. Plus maybe some other things you might like to have with you tonight.”

Sophie accepted the backpack and walked over to the couch and threw it and her dragon up there before pushing herself up, just like a big girl. Jeff’s chest swelled with pride. He then turned to see Abed emerge from his room and raise his eyebrows at the sight of Sophie.

“Good. You’ve arrived. We’ll start with Beauty and the Beast, but since you have a bedtime we need to get started within the next thirty minutes. Troy should be almost done with the noodles.”

Sophie smiled as she began opening up her backpack. _“I here, Abed, and I have some toys. You can hold my bear if you want. I have dis.”_ She pointed at the dragon and then added, _“And den we switch.”_

Abed walked over and sat down, studying the dragon for a moment.

Ruffles came trotting back in, likely thwarted in her further efforts at procuring food, and promptly jumped onto the couch to sit in between Sophie and Abed. She stared at the dragon and began to wag her tail, and Sophie eyed her warily and carefully moved the dragon to the side.

Jeff made his way in to the kitchen with Ruffles’ doggie stuff, intent on giving Troy instructions, as Britta and Annie seemed to be in intense conversation about the evils of corporate lawyer bastards and something about feminism, so he had tuned out.

He came up to the counter and placed the items down, watching Troy’s back as he seemed to be chopping up bread near the stove. There was the smell of cheese and a pot boiling. He was wearing a teal apron and was humming a light jazz tune.

Troy turned around and smiled broadly as he spied Jeff, and Jeff sat down on a stool.

“You look great, man. Hope you have a nice time at the fancy party.”

“I doubt it will be that fun. They won’t have toilet olives.”

Troy frowned as he brought over a large platter full of small sandwiches, with various condiments on one side. Jeff noticed there were small bowls of peanut butter, melted cheese product, ketchup, some kind of dip, and cottage cheese.

“Well then it can’t be that fancy of a party, Jeff.”

“I suppose not. Speaking of, this looks like quite the spread.”

“Yeah, I’m pretty proud of it. And don’t worry, the pizza’s almost done.”

“Pizza? I thought Abed said you were having noodles.”

Troy regarded him with befuddlement and then addressed him as if he were an idiot, “We are. The pizza’s for Annie. She requested it.”

Jeff groaned and shouted, “Hey Annie, you know there will be food a the party, right?”

“You said appetizers, Jeff. I can’t last on…” She came around the corner, Britta following, and stopped at the sight of the sandwiches.

Her eyes lit up as she squeaked, “Troy! You are amazing!”

Jeff knew enough to get out of the way, and he jumped up from his stool as she rushed over and grabbed one and took a bite as she eyed the condiments.

“Oh my, that’s good. But it needs…”

Troy scooped up some peanut butter and said, “This, right? I know you like to add it to the cucumbers.”

“And oh my god, are there pickles, cucumbers, AND olives in this?”

“Yeah, and I put in a dash of dill.” Troy carefully took the sandwich from her and plopped a bunch of peanut butter on it before handing it back to her.

Jeff could have sworn Annie would have made out with Troy right then if she hadn’t been occupied in shoving the mess down, and he smiled gratefully at Troy.

Britta then gasped, and Jeff placed his arms on her shoulders and tried to maneuver her away.

“Nothing to see here.”

“What the hell?”

“She’s hungry.”

“I get that but gross.”

Troy asked, “How about some onion dip?”

Annie empathically nodded, and Troy began prepping the next sandwich as the oven chimed, alerting them that the pizza was done.

 

X

Before leaving Apartment 303, they had Sophie change into another special outfit that they had bought for her, and decided to make everything official.

Sophie sat on the couch in between Annie and Jeff, and Jeff held Ruffles on his lap. Abed stepped back and after a few agonizing minutes of setting up the composition, finally snapped the picture.

Annie posted it a minute later for everyone to view, Sophie’s “Big Sister” t-shirt prominently displayed, and Annie’s obvious bump.

It got about two hundred likes in twenty minutes, and Jeff couldn’t help but feel a rush of pride.

After he parked the car, Annie gleefully updated him on the count, and he finally took out his phone to see for himself. He smiled at the picture and then frowned.

“What is it?”

He turned the phone toward her and said, “Vaughn Miller likes this.”

She rolled her eyes, “Oh, please don’t be jealous. We broke up a long time ago. He lives in Delaware. I think it’s sweet that he liked it.”

“Why are you still friends with him?”

“Because we parted on amicable terms, Jeff. He’s a good person, and as I’ve told you, I don’t even talk to him anymore. But I don’t see any reason to de-friend him unless of course you’re going to make this into a thing.” She arched a brow and waited.

At his silence, she added, “Because I will de-friend him if you insist on it.”

He sighed. “No, of course not. I may never understand what you saw in him, but I get it. We both have our pasts.”

She smiled and leaned over to give him a kiss.

“Thank you."

“Well, don’t get too mushy on me. Part of the reason I say that is because you’re about to be faced with my soon-to-be-past and in many ways actual past. Those guys are, as Britta says, pigs.”

“I know all about Alan.”

“I’m not just talking about Alan. Look, last time you were at one of these you and Trobed were in the middle of some spying scenario, so you didn’t get the full flavor, but trust me, these guys are terrible. Please stick close to me.”

She batted her lashes and said, “Of course I will. I can’t have any woman macking on my man.”

He grinned and slid out of the car and made his way around to the other side. He assisted her out, and then they locked arms.

“This way, milady.”

 

 

 

 

 

 


	12. Introduction to Feminist Theory

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There's a party.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is a pretty long chapter, but alas...

Jeff did his best to keep his composure as they entered the hotel. With Annie on his arm, he felt more confident than he would have normally, and he once again was grateful that she pushed to be included. He knew she was right that he should attend the party, and he couldn’t imagine going solo, as it would be too damn depressing. But he was still concerned about Annie’s experience, wanting to protect her from the pigs. He was wondering if they could get away in under an hour.

“Jeff, this is amazing! Look at this!” She indicated with her head over to the ballroom doorway, where there was a small table with nametags and what looked to be bags of party favors.

“Are we at a wedding?”

Annie rolled her eyes and pulled him toward the table. She then deftly picked out their names and began pinning his tag to his lapel.

“I think it’s great! This way everyone won’t get confused. My guess is Ted did this so that the clients got to know all the associates? And perhaps he invited some _potential_ clients?” She eyed his tag and then gasped, “Jeff! Yours says Jeffrey Winger, Associate.”

“Yeah?”

She looked up at him and handed him her tag, and he began to pin it on her, careful not to disrupt the fabric of her dress. He had to hand it to Rachel that she knew fashion. Annie was simply stunning.

“Jeff, you’re not an associate. You’re a consultant.”

“I guess that means Ted’s pretty optimistic I will pass the bar.”

He read her tag, noticing it said, _Annie Winger, guest_.

“Crap, I told him it was Edison-Winger, but he’s pretty old school. Sorry.”

She glanced down and shook her head, not appearing to be that concerned. She then rolled onto her tiptoes and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

“You will pass the bar, very soon.”

“Eh, let’s not talk about the bar right now.” He squinted and then held out his arm once again, letting her latch on.

They entered the ballroom, and Annie let out various oohs and aaahs, and he couldn’t help but feel pretty excited. He momentarily forgot why they were there and got caught up in the fact that they were dressed to the nines and in a place that was full of swank.

God, he wanted to show Annie the world. She deserved it.

He looked down at her and moved his hands to her hips, taking a full moment to take in the sight of her. Her hair, very luscious lately which she had explained was a side effect of pregnancy and likely her eating habits, cascaded down her shoulders, and her cheeks were flush. She smiled and batted her lashes, and he felt his heart flutter.

He whispered, “You’re beautiful.”

“So are you. You know I love how you look in a tux.”

They grinned at each other, and then the moment came to a crashing halt.

“Oh my god, it _is_ you!”

They both tightened their smiles and sighed before turning their attentions to Alan, who of course was standing there with his mouth half open.

“Hi Alan.” Annie’s eyes betrayed her true feelings, but Jeff was fairly certain Alan didn’t notice, as he was staring at her boobs.

Instinctively, Jeff slapped his arm. “Eye contact would be appreciated, Sundance.”

“Oh, um, sorry. Force of habit, but damn Annie those things have always been spectacular, but now….I suppose that’s cause you’re knocked up again?”

Annie’s eyes widened and then almost instantly narrowed. She replied, “I don’t want to talk about my appearance.”

“But wowza, yikes.” Alan made a rounding gesture in front of her stomach, and she reluctantly chuckled.

“Oh, that. We can talk about that.”

Alan’s eyes had been almost bugging out of his head, but he seemed to rein it in as he then cast a glance between the two of them.

“Damn, I still can’t believe you two are together. Come on Annie, we go way back. You could have at least mentioned it.”

She let out a long sigh and said, “I’m sorry I didn’t say anything, but I wasn’t sure how you were going to react. It’s very important to me that we keep things in NA separate from everything else. Do you understand?”

There were several beats of silence, and Jeff was amazed at Annie’s pointed and steely stare. If she wanted to be a lawyer, he’d fully support it.

Finally, Alan shrugged and made the most non-breezy nonchalant expression anyone could muster and said, “Yeah, of course.” He then glanced past Annie’s shoulder and said, “Hey, I want you to meet my fiancée.”

A familiar looking blonde approached, two cocktails in her hands. She was dressed impeccably in a tight fitting royal blue dress, and she flashed a polite smile as she neared.

Alan accepted one of the drinks from her, and Jeff mentally reminded himself to be the one to get them drinks and to make sure Annie’s was a mocktail. He had put in a request for that with Ted’s secretary, knowing that these events were pretty much alcoholic binges.

 “Jeff, Annie, this is my fiancée, Barb.” Alan eagerly pushed the woman toward them, and she seemed slightly irritated, but recovered quickly and extended her hand toward Annie.

“Hi, um, you seem familiar. Have we met?”

Annie opened her mouth to respond, when it hit Jeff.

He blurted, “Wait, didn’t you used to date Mitchell?”

Barb turned from shaking Annie’s hand and then extended it to Jeff, and they greeted one another. She tightened her smile and after casting Alan a quick look, replied, “Um, yes, briefly, but that was a long time ago.” Appearing to search her memory, she paused and then said, “Wait, now I remember. Didn’t we meet at that Italian bistro on second?”

“Ahh, yes, that’s it.”

He took small pleasure in noticing Alan’s paleness, for he was sure that Alan had scooped up Barb at some point after she broke up with Mitchell, and Jeff had no idea how long ago that was, given he and Annie just met her on that one night, which he recalled was his and Annie’s first official date. And it was the night he and Annie had first had sex.

Good times.

Still perplexed as to why Barb was planning to marry Alan, who physically and even personality wise couldn’t hold a candle to the suave Mitchell, Jeff remarked, “That was a great night. It was our first date.” He placed his arm around Annie’s shoulders, and was giddy as he felt her lean against him.

Barb raised her brows and said, “Wow! I had no idea, and that was what, three years ago?” At their nods of confirmation, she glanced down at Annie’s belly and said, “Oh, and congratulations!”

Annie rubbed her hand over the bump and said, “Thank you. We’re very excited. Baby Winger number two is due in a few months. Their big sister is at home.”

“Two? Oh my god.”

Annie smiled proudly.

Jeff figured Barb’s shocked expression reflected the fact that she had no clue Sophie was actually four and probably thought they were popping out the babies as quickly as they could. He once again giggled internally, content at the fact that he didn’t really care what anyone thought, which was a nice change of pace. And if Alan’s fiancée (still, what the hell was up with that?) was befuddled, it just made the whole night more bearable.

“Your ring is so nice. Alan, isn’t that ring precious?” Barb lifted Annie’s hand to take in the sight of the amethyst stones and not-so-subtly let her ring flash in the light. To Jeff’s amusement it seemed to be a single diamond and it was huge.

Well, now he figured out why Barb was marrying Alan.

Alan squinted at it and remarked, “Yeah, babe, it’s cute. Nice, Winger, couldn’t you afford a diamond?”

Barb snapped, “I wasn’t trying to insult her. I actually think it’s very pretty. And unique. It seems like he put a lot of _thought_ into it.”

Annie purred as she held up the ring to view it under the lights, “It’s my favorite color. He knew I didn’t want a diamond like everyone else.”

Jeff chocked down his laugh and turned, mumbling something about getting them drinks. He figured Annie had the situation handled, and he was relieved he didn’t have to leave her alone with Alan.

 

X

It was moments later when he had successfully placed a request for a mocktail, getting assurances from the bartender after pointing out Annie in the crowd, that he understood why there was to be no alcohol in it, and also ordered himself a Scotch.

“Hey, Tango!”

Jeff smiled as he turned to see Mark approaching with his girlfriend Jenny, a pretty woman of average height with a carefully coiffed red bob. He had met her on a few occasions by this point, and although he didn’t really know her that well, the fact that Mark had turned his back on some more of the shady firm tactics in the firm, he knew she was good for him.

He reached out his hand, and they shook. “Cash.” He then leaned over and gave Jenny a quick peck on the cheek, and she laughed.

“Hi, Jeff.”

“You look great. I’m glad this jerk brought you here. You can save Annie from those two.” He indicated with his head over toward Annie, Alan, and Barb, and then his eyes widened as he spotted Mitchell and his newest blonde (Ainsley?), making their way toward the trio.

“Crap, Mitchell’s here.”

Mark rolled his eyes. “Of course he is. And who cares?” He leaned in and whispered, casting a conspiratorial look at Jenny, “Since we’re almost outta here.”

Jeff gulped and said, “Right. Still, we should probably get over there and make sure Annie’s okay.”

Jeff grabbed the drinks and started to head over, when Mark stopped him and hissed, “I need to run something past you.”

“Can it wait a minute?”

“Sure. But soon, okay?”’

“Got it.”

The three of them joined the group, and it appeared that everyone was talking excitedly and Ainsley had her hand on Annie’s belly.

Well, that was a surprise.

“Jeff can’t feel them yet either. I’m really hoping it’ll be soon.” Annie pouted but seemed delighted that Ainsley was taking an interest.

“I’m so happy for you guys. I remember you showing me pictures of your daughter. She’s so cute.”

“I have more pictures. Do you want to see?” Annie rummaged in her purse and took out her phone.

Jeff sidled up to her and after flashing a grin at Mitchell and Ainsley, handed Annie her mocktail. He attempted to gauge her mood, and he ascertained she seemed genuinely in good spirits. She mouthed her thanks and took a sip, nodding her approval before she returned her attentions to her phone and began chatting away with Ainsley. Being ignored by Alan, Barb cast Mitchell a questioning look and at his tight smile, awkwardly shuffled closer to view the pictures.

Jenny made greetings to Mitchell and Alan and then with a wink at Mark, joined the ladies near the phone.

“Annie!”

“Jenny! I’m so glad you’re here!”

Mitchell frowned over at the women and remarked, “I had no idea your ladies were so friendly with each other. Do you guys socialize a lot?”

Mark shrugged and grabbed Jeff’s glass, taking a long sip of Scotch before handing it back and said, “Here and there.”

“Really?”

Jeff took out a handkerchief and wiped down his glass, making a mental note to steal Mark’s eventual drink later.

An irritated Alan piped in, “They don’t socialize with me either, Mitchell. They think they’re too good for the likes of us. Even though, we have women too you know.”

Jeff rolled his eyes.

At this, Mitchell smirked and after taking a sip of his own drink, which appeared to be a Manhattan, said, “I don’t know what you’re talking about, Alan. Ainsley and I had dinner with Jeff and Annie a few months ago.”

Once again, Jeff nearly choked. He cast Mitchell a bemused look, noticing the guy’s eyes were dancing. Okay, he might not have been that big of a fan, but he had to admit he’d put up with Mitchell any day over Alan.

Alan scrunched up his face and started to sulk, which Mark used as an opportunity to say, “Hey Tango, I’m gonna get a drink. You want another one? You’ll be done soon.”

Jeff stared down at his oddly near empty glass and replied, “Right, yes. Let’s go. Be back, gentlemen.” He nodded at them and turned to go back to the bar.

 

X

“Sooo?”

Mark handed Jeff a new drink and then moved in closer and whispered, “I’m gonna do it tonight.”

“Do what?” Jeff grabbed Mark’s drink out of his hand and took a very long sip.

“Oh, thanks. Good idea.” Mark turned and used his now free hands to stop a waiter and grab two fistful of olives and a meatball off a tray and then turned back to Jeff. “God, I’m stress eating but I don’t care.” He began to shovel in the olives, and Jeff did his best not to concern himself with the teetering meatball on the cocktail napkin. He took another swig from Mark’s glass just because.

“Are you sure you’re not pregnant? Cause the way you’re going to town on those, you remind me of Annie.” He cast a look over in her direction and noticed to his relief that she appeared to have found the appetizer waiter as well and was holding a small plate full of food as she chatted away with the ladies. It seemed as if Ainsley now had the phone and was clicking through the pictures animatedly as Jenny oohed and Barb looked slightly bored.

Mark replied with a muffled, “I’m so nervous.”

“Why?”

“I’m gonna propose to Jenny.”

“I know. You told me you had a ring.”

“Tonight, Jeff. It has to be. I can’t take it any longer, and look, she’s the most beautiful woman I’ve ever been with and I want to ask her before we officially start the firm and then I get even more stressed.”

As Mark licked his fingers clean, Jeff motioned him over to a side high table and set down the drinks, pushing Mark’s over to him.

“You’ll be fine. Just get her out of here in a little bit and do it.”

“Yeah?”

“Don’t over think it. It’s beautiful outside tonight. Take her to go look at the stars.”

Mark nodded and took a swig of his drink, eyeing it with curiosity as he set it back down. He then shrugged and stared off toward the women.

“Right. I can do it. Thanks, pal.”

“No problem.” Jeff smiled and slapped him on the shoulder.

“But I suppose we need to mingle with clients and um, potential clients before we go.”

Jeff reluctantly nodded his agreement, and they both sighed.

At that moment, Penelope appeared by their side, dressed in a dark purple sequenced number that hit her just above the knee. Her hair was arranged in long braids, and she seemed to be wearing extra lipstick. It was definitely a more dramatic evening look, and reflected in general how the other female staff were dressed. Jeff wondered if there had been a manual or something.

He smiled at her and gave her a quick side hug, careful to remain professional, and she accepted a similar overture from Mark and then placed her drink, which appeared to be a cranberry vodka concoction, on the table.

She sighed wearily and said, “You have no idea how glad I am to see you guys.”

Jeff wrinkled up his brow and asked, “You’re not here alone are you?”

She smiled tightly and something flashed across her eyes before she replied, “Yup.”

He wondered if she had been stood up, and it occurred to him that he really didn’t know that much about her dating life. He was aware she lived with her grandmother and had nephews, which she had been eager to show him pictures of once she had found out about Sophie, but he didn’t really know if anyone else was in the picture. She never mentioned anyone, and he didn’t think it was appropriate to ask. Working at Hamish, Hamish, & Hamlin set the line at appropriateness very low, and he hadn’t wanted to error in making her uncomfortable.

Noticing Mark was distracted as he patted his jacket pocket, which Jeff assumed held the ring, Jeff addressed Penelope, “Yikes, this is not a place you want to be unaccompanied. Sorry. I brought Annie, by the way, so um, I could introduce you?”

Penelope’s face lit up, and he offered her his arm and walked her over to the group. He heard Mark start talking to their odd colleague Wally as they turned away. He wasn’t eager to get involved in whatever weirdness was happening there and kept his eyes on his lady.

“Annie, this is Penelope, my paralegal assistant. Penelope, this is my wife, Annie.” He disengaged from Penelope’s arm and motioned between them, stepping back to allow things to proceed.

Penelope held out her hand, and Annie allowed Jeff to take her plate from her as she then shook.

“Oh my, it’s so good to finally meet you! Jeff’s told me so much about you.”

Annie laughed, “And Sophie’s told me about you. Thank you for being so sweet with her. I really appreciate it.”

Jeff handed the plate to a roaming waiter, when Annie cast him a reproachful look and he silently mouthed his apologies and went searching for another waiter, which luckily he spied quickly and grabbed a clean plate and some appetizers. He handed it to her, and she gave him a kiss on the cheek in appreciation.

Penelope watched the interplay and said, “Aww, you two are so cute.”

“We try.” He wrapped his arm around Annie’s shoulder and basked in this moment. He considered maybe the night wouldn’t be so bad after all, if they just stuck to the Penelopes, Ainsleys, and Jennys of the world.

Crap, he knew he had to mingle with clients or the night would be pointless. He made some chit chat with Penelope and Annie before he started to scan the room.

Trevor and Jimmy, who were other associates, approached and somehow maneuvered him into talking with them and Mitchell, as Alan once again tried to wedge himself into the huddle. It was a few awkward minutes before Jeff heard the familiar odd-affected voice.

“It is very good to meet you. I’m Mr. Stone.”

“Wally, this is Annie, Jeff Winger’s wife. And this is my girlfriend, Jenny.”

Jeff whipped his head around to see Annie staring at the poufy-haired Wally Stone, the freak that Mark had likely quickly grown frustrated with and couldn’t ditch.

God the guy was creepy. Jeff couldn’t ever figure him out, as he had an odd affect and never cracked a smile.

Annie shook his hand and said, “Hi, it’s so good to meet you.”

“Mrs. Winger.”

“It’s actually Mrs. Edison-Winger, but you can call me Annie.”

“Yes, of course, Mrs. Edison-Winger.”

Jeff quickly joined her and said, “Wally. Long time no see.”

Wally stared at his outstretched hand and hesitated before he took it and gave it two mechanical shakes. He then said, “I was just meeting your wife.”

“Yes, I see that. What’s new in the world of probate and witness prepping?”

Wally blinked twice before replying in a monotone, “We’ve had one death this week. I’m doing bequeathments on the fifteenth.”

Jeff nodded politely and didn’t engage with Annie’s likely incredulous expression.

Wally added, “I’m working the Chelsea case, getting Mrs. Anderson prepped to give testimony. I’ll have her hooked up on Wednesday.”

“Excuse me? Hooked up?”

At Annie’s question, Wally slowly turned toward her and replied, “In addition to probate law, I specialize in polygraphy. I make sure all of our witnesses can pass scrutiny or we don’t put them on the stand.”

Annie nodded excitedly and said, “That’s amazing! I’m working on my degree in forensics, and my next course is on witness interviewing. Perhaps we could…” She handed her plate and drink to Jeff, who did his best to balance them with his own glass, and fished inside her purse to produce a business card, which Jeff hadn’t even realized she had. He thought he caught a glimpse of embossed purple lettering. She handed it over and Wally promptly gave her his.

She smiled as she looked down at it and said, “Polygraphist. I’m impressed.”

Now reddening, Wally cocked his head and said, “It’s a rather obscure specialty, but it is one of great value. Otherwise, how would we ever know if what people tell us is the truth? The world if full of deception.”

 

X

“So, Jeffrey, here we are.”

Jeff whipped around.

“Pierce?!?”

Of course he had forgotten Pierce was a long-time client of the firm. He had never seen him at one of these events, however, and had only met him for real when he had enrolled at Greendale, but he had the suspicion that Pierce showed up this time because he knew Jeff and Annie would be there.

“Funny running into you here, my boy.” A tuxedoed Pierce chuckled and slapped him on the back.

“Right. How’s your evening going?”

“No complaints. I was with Wally but he seems to have wandered off. He’s helping me redo my will.”

Jeff resumed scanning the crowd from his new spot near the bar, after having finished his second drink. He told Annie he would get her another mocktail and made a whispered promise to her that he’d get one himself.

After ordering and enduring Pierce’s quips about him not being able to hold his liquor, Jeff and Pierce took their drinks and stood near the high table.

“I should, um, get this back to Annie.”

“Just one moment, Jeffrey, we need to have a chat.”

“I saw you last week.”

“Yes, it has been a long time. I wanted to get your thoughts on Troy. He could be a man, right? If he stopped hanging out with A-bed, that is. He needs to be his own man.”

“Pierce, can we talk about this later? I have some business to do.”

“You know, I’m a client of this firm too. You could court my business.” Pierce blinked several times and parted his lips slightly, in that way he did when he was trying to be a subtle ass.

Jeff pursed his lips and turned back to him, taking a swift sip of a surprisingly delicious mocktail and then before saying, “I don’t think you should get between Troy and Abed.”

“Who said anything about that? I merely wanted to present Troy with another option in life.”

“He’s not going to move back in with you.”

“We’ll see, Jeffrey. We’ll see.” Pierce paused and then said with affected nonchalance that Jeff could certainly see through, “Did I mention I was thinking of checking out the Philippines? Just for a little bit? At any rate, since I suppose technically you’re my lawyer I’d be entitled to attorney-client privilege…”

Jeff instantly held up his hand and said, “Stop. I am not your lawyer.”

“But you work for the firm.”

“Yes, but I’m…” Jeff shifted his eyes around the room and then spotted Mark chatting away with Williamson, one of the firm’s larger clients. He instantly regretted it, as Pierce followed his gaze.

“Aha! I get it! You and your new bestie are planning to poach clients!”

Jeff cast a quick look around and grabbed Pierce, abandoning their cocktails on the table. He pulled him into a space near the coatroom and snapped, “Please keep your voice down!”

Rubbing his hands together, Pierce smiled evily and said, “Ooooh, how much is it worth to you?”

“Friendship.”

“Well, crap. Fine, okay.”

“Thank you.”

 

x

 

“Are you going to eat that?”

Jeff let Mark reluctantly hand Annie his remaining crackers and cheese and then maneuvered her away from the huddle. He whispered in her ear, “I missed you.”

She smiled and looked up him as they scurried over to the window. He let out a contented sigh when they reached it, and he placed down both their drinks on the sill.

“God, I can’t wait until this is over. I finally ditched Pierce.”

Annie munched on her cracker for a few moments and then swallowed and said, “It’s weird how he swept in and grabbed Wally. Or am I supposed to call him Mr. Stone? He was kind of strange about it.”

“He’s just strange. Look, thank you for being such a good sport about tonight.”

“People have been really nice, Jeff. Besides Alan, I don’t think people here are that bad.”

“You’ve been talking to their dates.”

“And Penelope. She’s sweet.”

“Yes, Penelope is a great, but..”

\--“And Mark of course. And even Mitchell doesn’t seem that bad, Jeff. Ainsley tells me they’re thinking of moving in together.”

“Really? Well, he’s still an ass.”

Ignoring his interjection, she said, “Now that whole Barb-Alan thing is kind of funny. She says he proposed to her last year after they had only been dating a few weeks. They’re planning a big wedding this fall, and she seems really into the details, but I don’t get the impression she’s that into Alan.”

“You don’t say.”

“It’s kind of sad, isn’t it? Why can’t everyone be in love like us?”

His chest fluttered at her words, and he wondered again at her continual power at stopping him in his tracks. He looked down at her, noticing she was fluttering her lashes, and he bent down and kissed her, just like that. He even took a few moments more than strictly necessary, something he normally wouldn’t consider in a place like this. She tasted of cheese and mint from her drink, with a hint of strawberry lip gloss.

She was delicious.

He felt her hum against his lips, and as they parted, they exchanged intense eye contact, and he almost forgot where they were.

“Jeff Winger, I’ve been looking for you!”

Ted clasped his hand, giving it a hearty shake, and Jeff smiled, genuinely letting out a chuckle as he heard the hands pop.

Good ol’ Alan with his hole.

“You remember my wife, Ellen?” Ted turned toward the attractive brunette woman around his age on his right. She was dressed in a long black fitted gown and wore what Jeff knew to be a very expensive necklace and many rings.

“Yes, of course. Jeff Winger, contractor.”

“Soon to be reinstated associate.”

“Right, um yes, soon-to-be associate.”

“Hello, Jeff. Ted’s been talking about you.” She winked and her eyes twinkled as she glanced at Annie.

“Ellen, Ted, this is my wife, Annie. Annie, this is my boss Ted Hamish and his wife, Ellen.” Jeff made a swooping motion, and Annie shook hands with them both, not giving a noticeable reaction to the popping noise, as Jeff had prepared her in advance.

“It’s so great to meet both of you. Jeff’s told me so much, so it’s good to have faces to match the names.”

Ted chuckled and said, “It’s good to meet you too. And I hear congratulations are in order.”

Annie patted her belly and said, “Thank you. We’re really excited.”

Ellen leaned forward and remarked, “My, I just love that dress! It’s a Divinia, isn’t it? Best maternity wear around. You have excellent taste.”

Blushing, Annie surreptitiously placed her plate of half-eaten crackers on the side table and turned toward Ellen and said, “Thank you. I wanted to look my best, even if I’m starting to venture into whale territory.”

“Nonsense. Why, you’re in that perfect stage. Just the bump and you can still move around freely. Enjoy it, dear. It only gets more uncomfortable.”

“Oh, I know. We have a four year old.”

“That’s right, Ted did mention that!” Ellen exchanged looks with Ted and then said, “We wanted to invite you to dinner, and I suppose we should do it soon before you’re busy with other things.” She smiled affectionately at Annie, and Jeff could tell she was eating it up.

Well, he supposed Ellen might be a good person. Again, he wondered what was up with Ted these days.

Ted slapped him on his back and roared, “You must join us! And then we’ll get you all settled back with other things. Jeff, I want you to take over the Hastings account.”

Jeff’s eyes bulged at the mention of Hastings. Talk about a whale. The guy brought in serious money to the firm, and Larry Troughtmore was his point attorney. Jeff was about to ask, when Ted read his mind and said, “I know, I know. Larry handles him, but remember I fired him?”

“Did you?”

“Well, not really, but he doesn’t know that yet. I’ll have my secretary call him tomorrow and tell him to report back, but he’s being demoted.”

Jeff nodded politely at this information and said, “Wow, the Hastings account. Are you sure you want me in charge?”

“Definitely. Hastings is a tee-totaler and,” he gestured with his head toward Jeff’s mocktail, “I know the orange ones are alcohol free, so my guess is Hastings will take a shining to you. Since when did you give up booze anyway?”

“He’s drinking in solidarity with me.” Annie batted her lashes and held up her drink.

“You don’t say! That’s great! Hey, Jeff, come with me for a sec. Annie, you don’t mind if I borrow him, do you?” Ted smiled broadly, a hint of his teeth showing.

Annie laughed and shook her head, casting Jeff a bemused look. He bent over and gave her a peck on the cheek, taking the opportunity to whisper, “I’ll be back as soon as I can.”

She whispered back, “I’m fine. And he seems sweet.”

 

X

Jeff stood in a huddle with Ted, Mitchell, and Chuck, one of the other senior partners. Somehow after a few words of wisdom from Ted about the Hastings account, Jeff had been given a shot of bourbon and then handed a real drink.

He glanced down at the brown fluid and tried to tell himself to do it slowly. Last thing he needed was to get wasted, especially with these clowns. He knew Annie would be furious if she had to haul him home.

“So I said to him, you better ask for a reference nicely.” Ted snickered as he recounted the Larry story. Once again, Mitchell kept a somber face, and Jeff wondered when in hell anything would come of that.

He didn’t have to wait long.

Larry came storming up to them, reeking of alcohol. He was in a disheveled suit, and a waiter was on his heels, making apologetic pronouncements to Ted and stating he would have him removed from the property.

“Ted! I need a word with you!” Larry slurred as he lurched forward and poked his index finger into Ted’s chest.

“Christ, Larry, go home. I’ll have someone call you a cab. You’re not supposed to be here anyway. Remember, you’re fired.” Ted cast Jeff a bemused look and then stepped back.

“No, Ted, I got somethin’ to say. You need to listen to me.” Larry turned and stared at Mitchell for several awkward moments, and Mitchell’s eyes widened and there was a bead of sweat making its way down his brow. Finally, Larry slowly turned back to Ted and said, “I know somethin.’ It’s no fair you firing me. You’ll have me back once I tell you who your real enemies are.”

“Larry, you need to leave.”

 

X

After Larry was escorted off the premises, Jeff found Annie once again and was relieved to find she had been talking with Penelope and Ainsley. He rubbed her shoulders, and she smiled as she glanced up at him.

“Hey, sorry about that. And um, just so you know, they made me take a shot.”

“It’s fine, Jeff.”

“Did you get the Hastings account?”

He startled at Ainsley’s words and stared at her in befuddlement. She shrugged and said, “Mitchell told me Ted was going to offer it to you. He’s been kind of pissed off, but oh well. I always liked you two. I’m really glad we met up again.” She swayed slightly, and Jeff knew she had had a few.

Penelope stifled a laugh, and Jeff replied, “Ah, yeah, I got it. So Mitchell doesn’t like me you say?”

“Oh come on! Of course he doesn’t. He knows you’re going to outshine him, and you already have. He told me all about your school scandal and everything, and apparently Ted doesn’t really care. In fact, he’s kind of impressed.”

“I see.”

“That’s why he called the police.”

Jeff startled at this, for he knew it was Alan who had ratted him out to the bar, and no one to his knowledge had called the actual police. He let his hands drop form Annie’s shoulders, and knowing that he, Annie, and Penelope were all confused, asked, “Police?”

Ainsley hiccupped and said, “Yeah, the night we had dinner. We saw you two making out in your car, and he thought it would be a good way to humiliate you. I’m so sorry. I couldn’t stop him. But I saw they let you guys leave, so I’m really glad nothing bad happened.” She stared up at him with guilty eyes, and he instantly remembered.

Officer Cackowski and the warning for public indecency. God, to think Mitchell was the one.

“Oh well, no harm. I talked ourselves out of a ticket.”

He ignored Penelope’s choking noises from his left.

“Yeah, again, I’m so sorry. I tried to get him to…not do it, but sometimes he’s a real jerk. I think you guys are soooo nice, and I want kids, so yeah that’s why I’m with him. I’m not getting any younger, and you know you can’t be picky and choosey…”

Annie stepped forward and put her arm around her, glancing up at Jeff with a worried look before saying, “You absolutely can be picky. I’m so sorry he put you in that position, that wasn’t fair at all. You deserve someone better.”

“You think?”

“Yes. I had an ex too, and he was really bad for me and roped me into all sorts of things I felt really guilty about, but then I met Jeff and I knew what love really was.”

Ainsley leaned her head against Annie’s shoulder and began to sob.

It was only then that Jeff heard the sniff from Penelope. He turned to see her wet eyes, and at his unspoken question, she said, “I was _highly encouraged_ not to bring a date tonight. Not that I have a boyfriend, but I couldn’t’ even have a friend accompany me.”

Jeff raised a brow and exchanged confused looks with Annie.

Penelope clarified, “None of the paralegals, and notice all of the paralegals are female by the way, were supposed to bring dates. We were given a memo of how to dress.” She pushed down what Jeff assumed was a sob of rage and then indicated with her hand up and down her dress, “So I chose this. And I kind of hate myself.”

“But you look great.”

Mark had stepped up and uttered the comment, having apparently been eavesdropping, and Penelope, Annie, and Ainsley all instantly shot him furious looks.

 

X

“I’m so disgusted.”

Jeff sighed at Annie’s words and crossed his arms as he leaned back against the window. He didn’t even care if he crashed through. He just wanted to get out of here.

“I told you they are pigs.”

“A memo?!? A memo?!?”

“Yeah, see…”

\--“So they can look all pretty for the Pierce Hawthornes of this party?!? Oh my god.” She shuddered and made fists. He knew she was seriously outraged when she abandoned her snack plate and stormed off, and he was glad he found her quickly.

“See? This is why I’m leaving this place.”

She nodded and looked dup at him. “I get it now. I really do.”

“They’re not that nice.”

“Well, I’m sure some of them are. Like…”

“Mitchell?”

“Well, no, obviously. I can’t believe he tried to get us arrested.”

“I can.”

“I wish we were at home. Or at least with our friends. I miss them.”

“Me too.”

“Did someone say miss us?”

They startled and turned to see Troy and Abed standing there. Troy was smiling broadly, having just asked the question.

Annie gasped, “Troy! Abed! What are you guys doing here?” Her eyes danced, and it was evident that she was delighted.

Troy let out a low whistle, and Jeff noticed for the first time that both he and Abed were wearing their housewarming party outfits. He wondered how they got past security, but then again Larry had also re-wandered in, and Jeff could see him limping along the far wall.

“We’re sorry to intrude, but you weren’t answering your texts, so we needed to come down in person to tell you what happened with Sophie.”

Jeff felt his stomach instantly knot, and Annie’s face went pale. They both instinctively rushed a foot forward and Jeff grabbed Troy by the shoulders.

“What happened?!?”

Troy answered with a rush of words, “She’s upset. Ruffles took Arianna Puffington and she’s hiding under the couch with her and won’t come out.”

Jeff dropped him and pursed his lips.

“That’s it? What the hell? Don’t scare us like that.”

Abed piped in, “Sophie’s crying. She wants her dragon back.”

Annie’s lip quivered and she said, “Aww, well, maybe we should go back with you guys then, right Jeff?”

“You know what, that’s probably not the worst idea.”

Abed exchanged odd looks with Troy and then said, “Well, actually, I just got a text from Britta saying the Evil Santa Wizard, _whom she invited over without my permission_ , just coaxed Ruffles out and rescued Arianna Puffington.”

Troy let out a breath of relief. “Thank goodness. I was so worried. I mean what if Ruffles ate the dragon’s wings and she could no longer fly?”

Jeff patted Annie’s shoulder and said, “Well, it seems as if the crisis is averted. But still, I like Annie’s suggestion of going home.” Noticing Abed and Troy’s once again odder than usual expressions, he groaned and said, “You guys came here with a flimsy excuse to join a fancy party didn’t you?”

“It’s been awhile since Troy and I have done anything remotely fancy, Jeff. I told you I’ve been neglecting him, what with my 9-5 and the commuting grind. And did I mention the Evil Santa Wizard is over? You know I hate him.”

Troy added, “Yeah, Jeff. And I’ve been working really hard at my odd air conditioning repair jobs this summer so that we can pay rent, and,” he gulped down a sob, “I’ve been feeling like a whore, Jeff. An air conditioning slut.”

Jeff nodded calmly and said, “Fine. But blend in.”

 

X

After they ended up introducing Troy and Abed to what they assumed would be the safe combination of Penelope, Ainsley, and Jenny, they made their way back toward Hastings and his wife, wanting to at least put in some face time before they left, which they were hoping would be soon.

Jeff made introductions with Annie, and the four of them chatted amicably for several minutes, Jeff doing his best to put on the Winger charm while playing up his wholesomeness. Hastings seemed to gobble it up and they only stopped when Pierce interrupted.

After sending off Pierce toward Troy and Abed, Jeff ignored Annie’s protests and they made a few other introductions with various clients and a couple of the prized potential clients Ted had been courting. The Hamish Hamish & Hamlin bashes were known to treat clients well, and everyone was encouraged to bring friends.

Jeff ended up waiting for Annie while she used the ladies room, and he leaned against the bar, informing the bartender he just needed two waters.

“Tango, you are a sly bastard.”

“Well, Sundance. What can I say? I have to work the room. I’m getting the Hastings account.” He flashed a grin at Alan, who was standing next to him with one of his sour expressions.

“That’s nuts. That was Larry’s account.”

“Not anymore.”

“You think you’re so special, don’t you? Well, you know what? You suck!”

Jeff realized Alan was pretty drunk at this point, as he listed to the side, and he glanced around for Barb and spotted her approaching with an irritated expression.

“Hey Barb, maybe take him home?”

Alan protested, “Nah! I’m good. Plus, it’s soon time for the ladies to vacate so we can all really have some fun!”

Barb and Annie, who had just returned from the ladies room, asked in unison, “What fun?”

Jeff cringed, and Alan yelled, “Strippers! We always order a ton, but they don’t come in until midnight.” He held up his watch and squinted at it. “It’s almost that.”

“Alan, shut up.”

“Strippers?” Barb frowned and exchanged looks with Annie, who Jeff knew was taking heavy breaths by his side.

He turned, “Look, I didn’t want to tell you, but that’s the tradition, you see…”

“Jeff, I think we should go home. Barb, I think you should go, too. And if you want, you can take Alan with you. He could certainly use some sobering up.”

Alan swayed and pushed Barb off his arm as he said loudly, “You think you’re miss goody two shoes, don’t you? Why, I know your secret! And you know what, I’m gonna tell everyone!”

Annie hissed, “Alan, go home.”

Suddenly they realized Alan’s shouting had alerted everyone to the situation, and the room fell eerily silent.

With all eyes on them, Alan ignored Jeff’s attempts to drag him away, and shouted, “Annie Winger, you are a cokehead! Yeah, that’s right, everyone, I met Jeff’s wife in NA! She overdosed and was sent to rehab!”

Annie’s eyes went wide, and Jeff immediately took her hand and gave it a squeeze. She smiled tightly and said, “Alan, please stop.”

“Oh, I think I’m done. Now everyone in this room can know that Jeff Winger’s wife is no saint.”

“Is this true, Jeff?”

They both turned as Ted and Ellen approached looking concerned.

Before he could react, Annie replied, “Yes, it is.”

Ted raised a brow. “Really? I thought Alan was just being a dick.”

That would have probably been the better route to go, but Jeff could tell that Annie was full of indignation, and that she was not ashamed of her rehab stay. It was one of the things he loved about her, and he glanced at her and she gave him a reassuring smile, so he let her take this one.

She said in a louder voice so that everyone nearby could hear, which was pretty much most people now, as the crowed had closed in to watch the display, “Yes, Ted, Ellen, I used to have a drug problem. And I ended up going to rehab and getting clean. I’m a proud member of NA, for it’s an organization that has helped me immensely in my recovery. I haven’t used drugs for years, and Jeff knows the whole situation and has been loving and supportive.”

They waited as Ted seemed to take in the information, for he fell silent and stared down at the floor. To their surprise, Ellen quickly stepped forward and gave Annie a hug, addressing her with warm eyes as she said, “Good for you.” She then cast a swift look at Ted, who then joined them.

“Annie, I’m sorry you’ve been put on the spot. That was really unprofessional of Alan.” He turned toward Alan and said, “Alan Connor, you are hereby on leave. We will not tolerate airing dirty laundry in public and violating NA rules. You should know better.”

Alan visibly shirked, and Jeff felt vindicated. Take that, asshole.

“But Ted, I….”

“Get out, Alan. We’ll chat later about your role should you return. And I want everyone here to know that we at Hamlin, Hamlin, & Hamish take confidentiality very seriously. We are discreet, and Alan Connor will no longer be allowed on sensitive matters. You have my guarantee.” He grit his teeth.

Jeff whispered, “Thank you, Ted.”

“No problem.”

Jeff felt an immense sense of relief, and he and Annie relaxed.

Alan turned meekly toward Barb and said, “Barb, babe, you wanna have a baby? We’ll show those Wingers!”

Barb crossed her arms over her chest and closed her eyes for several awkward moments before opening them and stating through clenched teeth, “Alan, we’re done. I know you’ve been sleeping with my sister.”

“You do?”

“This night has taught me that none of it is worth it.” She took the ring off her finger and threw it on the ground before stomping off.

 

X

Minutes later, they were chatting amicably with Ted and Ellen, and Jeff was starting to wonder if he had made a huge mistake. Ted really wasn’t a bad guy, and him having stick up for Annie, even though he strongly suspected he did so in order to save the firm’s reputation, was impressive. And he didn’t seem to harbor Annie any ill feelings, for he was chuckling away as they talked about her studies.

“Forensics? Why, maybe we could use you some day.”

“Thank you, but I think I might go into law enforcement.”

“Oooh..,Jeff, you have to persuade your wife not to go to the dark side.”

“So I should persuade her to go into law enforcement?”

“You’re such an ass Winger, I love it.”

Mitchell, who had been one of the people tasked with escorting Alan out of the ballroom, returned and stood next to Ted, clearly intent on weaseling his way in. Jeff supposed he’d let him try, knowing it couldn’t be easy for him to feel second fiddle to the Winger awesomeness.

Plus, he didn’t really understand why Ted had been messing with Mitchell lately. He had been under the impression that he had been grooming Mitchell for greatness, but that theory was quickly falling apart as he watched Ted continually rebuff Mitchell’s attempts to interject opinions or ask him to go golfing over the weekend.

It was only when Larry, who had finally drunkenly made his way from the back wall, approached did things become clearer.

“Hey, Ted, I told you we’re not finished!”

Ted gave his wife an eye roll and turned to face Larry, Mitchell almost imperceptibly clenching as he watched.

“Larry, I thought I sent you home.”

“Not until I tell you.” Larry sneered at Mitchell and said, “I have nothing to lose now, Mitch. I’m gonna tell him.”

A wide-eyed Mitchell leapt forward and gripped his arm as he said, “Larry, please.”

Pushing him off, Larry spat out, “No!” He then addressed Ted and said, “Mitch slept with your wife!”

Ted gave a tightened smile and said simply, “Oh, Larry. You are a hoot! A hoot, I say! Now please, go home and sober up.” He then addressed the crowd, “Nothing to see here, people. I apologize for this. Larry is no longer employed at Hamish Hamish & Hamlin, effective before this party. Please, everyone go have some fun! Balloons drop in thirty minutes!”

Everyone laughed, and went along their own ways, but Jeff locked eyes with Ellen, and he knew the truth.

Well crap.

 

X

Ted had ushered him into a private room, and he had let him. While he didn’t want to be parted from Annie, she said she understood and had rejoined Penelope, who was now animatedly talking with Troy and Abed.

Ted clicked the door shut and leaned against it.

“Oh my god, that was insane!” He immediately began laughing almost uncontrollably, and Jeff was confused.

He approached Ted and said, “That was definitely insane. But look, I’m sure it will all blow over.”

Wiping a tear from his eye, Ted said, “Oh, I know it will. Most people here are too drunk to remember much of it anyway. God, I can’t believe both our wives got called out like that.”

“Yeah, that wasn’t pleasant.”

Ted shook his head, and chuckled a little more before he plopped down in a chair and grabbed a bottle from the top of what seemed to be a liquor cabinet. He popped it open and motioned for something, and Jeff turned and grabbed two tumblers to his right and placed them on the table.

As he filled the glasses with an alarming amount of booze, Ted said, “Your wife seems like a sweetheart, so I’m sorry Alan was a jerk.”

“Thanks.” Jeff sat down opposite him and eyed his liquor warily.

They clinked glasses and Jeff sipped while Ted chugged.

“I’m sorry your wife had to put up with Larry.”

“Oh that? Yeah, the bitch can take it. She’s guilty as hell.”

Jeff raised his brows, thrown off by the change in tone. He asked, “You knew?”

“Of course I did. I’m not an idiot. Why do you think I’ve been giving Mitchell such a rough time?”

Jeff grimaced as Alan let out another laugh.

“I mean I knew she was sleeping with someone, but it took me a little bit to figure out it was him.”

Jeff nodded politely.

Ted continued, “She’s still trying to get me back for cheating on her with Stacy. But look, we all have needs, right?”  
  
“Stacy?”

“It was ten years ago. She was my secretary. No harm, she was into me. And then Ellen found out and,” he held up his hole hand and said, “stabbed me right in the hand.” He laughed manically.

“So that’s how….?”

“Yup. I’m showing you a lot of faith, Jeff, in telling you the truth. I don’t like to share that story, and now you know why. Ellen went to down with that thing, and well, since I was pinned to the table for awhile, they couldn’t salvage the middle of my hand.” He wiggled it around and stared through the hole, almost in awe.

More than a little disturbed by this information, Jeff cleared his throat and asked, “So you’re going to fire Mitchell?”

“Oh, hell no! He’s a great lawyer, which is also why I’m not actually firing Alan. You were right about that bastard. He’s a damn fine and crafty guy, which is the only reason I keep him around. Trust me. The only reason.”

“Okay, disregarding Alan for a moment, how can you even think about keeping Mitchell? He slept with your wife!”

“So? It’s mostly the principle of the thing, and now he knows that I know. He’ll put two and two together and figure out that I knew for awhile. It’ll drive him nuts. I just want to see the guy twist, but see he makes a lot of money for me.”

“So it’s all about the money?”

“It’s always about the money, Jeff.”

 

X

Jeff returned to his friends a few minutes later, still shaken from his conversation with Ted. Once again he placed his arm around Annie, and he felt a rush of appreciation for her.

She smiled at him, and he turned his attentions to the conversation at hand, which appeared to consist of Wally Stone gushing about their unborn baby.

“You are glowing! Just glowing!”

“Why, thank you, Mr. Stone.”

“You know what? Call me Wally! We’re friends now! I’m actually a really fun guy! One might say I’m kind of nutty! I know, you at first were probably like, he’s a really serious person with an intense job, but I have to act like that when I first meet people, because I never know if I’ll have to examine them, but then, hey we talked and you’re into forensics, and your friends are super nice,” He smiled at Troy and Abed as Pierce sulked in the background, and said, “I have ideas for movies, too! I’m an artistic person! We should hang out every week!”

Jeff felt Annie’s silent chuckle reverberate through her shoulders, and he leaned down and gave her a kiss on the cheek.

“And you two are so inspiring! Why, I wish I could find love!”

At that moment, Mitchell approached and said, “Jeff, can we talk?”

“Not now, Mitchell. I think we’re just about to go home. We can talk on Monday.”

“Jeff, I know you met with Ted. Did he say anything about…?” Mitchell trailed off and raised an eyebrow.

With a sense of disgust, Jeff was about to tell him to go away when Ainsley approached and stood next to Mitchell, who shirked.

“So you did sleep with her?”

“Of course not! Larry’s just mad at me.”

“So you swear you didn’t cheat on me?”

“Never.” Mitchell held up a hand and glanced at the ceiling, Jeff assumed in some way to mimic swearing to a higher being.

At this, Ainsley exchanged looks with Annie and Penelope and then jutted out her chest. She stormed over to Wally and grabbed his jaw, planting a giant kiss onto his lips.

Everyone gasped.

“Ainsley! What the hell?!?” Mitchell shouted as he watched the display.

After finally parting, Ainsley wiped her mouth off with the back of her hand and gave Mitchell a triumphant gaze.

With wobbly knees, Wally said, “Golly, that was crazy! I loved it!”

Ainsley turned toward him and asked, “Did you? So did I! Do you want babies?”

“You bet I do!”

“Let’s go!”

She grabbed him by the arm, and they both practically ran out of the ballroom, giggling all the way.

 

x

Annie stared up at him with a bemused smile, and he rolled his eyes.

“I told you they’re all pigs.”

“I can’t believe what Ted said to you!”

“I know, but you hell, that makes everything clearer. I need to get out of this place.”

She nodded thoughtfully, and said, “Penelope told me Jimmy grabbed her ass after she came out of the ladies room.”

Jeff closed his eyes and willed himself not to go on a punching spree. He felt Annie take one of his closed fists, and he muttered, “It’s all so horrible.”

When he opened his eyes, he saw her looking at him with kindness and understanding. She said, “You’re so much better than this place. And so is Mark. I think you should quit now.”

“Annie, we need the income, we…”

\--“No, we don’t. You were going to quit anyway in September. I can’t stomach you going to work every day with these people. Do it now. We’ll figure it out.”

Vocalizing his fear for the first time, he gulped and said, “What if I don’t pass the bar? I’ll need time to retake it, and I could work here, and….”

She gave him a pointed look, and he caved.

“Crap. You’re right. I need to get out of here.”

They hugged and then they found Mark.

 

X

“So we’re going to rip off the band aid?”

Mark nodded excitedly, swishing his drink around. Jeff was reassured that he was only on number three, as he had been attempting to keep his wits about him so that he could propose after the party. Jeff wondered if that was still the plan given the shitshow of tonight.

“We’ll do this, Tango.”

“We should make Penelope an offer then.”

“What offer? We don’t have clients.”

They exchanged frustrated looks, and both sighed.

At that moment, Annie approached, with Penelope, Jenny, Troy and Abed trailing behind them.

“Penelope, tell them what you just told me.”

Penelope sighed and said, “I’m putting in my notice tomorrow. I’m sorry guys, but I can’t take it anymore.”

Troy nodded emphatically behind her, and Jeff wondered what was up.

He asked, “You’re quitting? Don’t you need the money? I assume that’s the only reason you stay.”

She groaned, “It is, trust me. But I think my nana and I can get by a little. I’ve been trying to save.”

“What about law school?”

She smiled slightly and said, “That’ll just have to wait, and who was I kidding? I can’t do that. I have to take care of my nana. But I can’t take this environment anymore, it’s killing me. Talking to Troy here, who is pursuing his love of dance despite all the heckling, helped me understand that sometimes you have to be true to yourself. You have to do what’s right. So I’m going to look into other firms. Ideally, perhaps something smaller and hopefully less rapey. It might take me a little while to find something, but it’ll be okay.” She looked up with lifted shoulders, and it was clear she was resolved on the matter.

Jeff cast Abed a look, and he merely shrugged.

He turned back to Penelope, and after hearing Mark’s squeak, smiled and said, “Penelope, good for you. And I’m gonna let you in on a little secret. Mark and I are going to also give our notice, but we’re doing it tonight. We’re opening up our own firm. We already have the company formed, and we have office space in Riverside. What we don’t yet have are clients, but you know we’re crafty bastards and plan to beg borrow and steal them. We would be honored if you would agree to work with us. We can’t really pay you right now, and we understand if you have to say no, but we’d really love it.”

Penelope placed her hand on her chest and glanced back and forth between Jeff and Mark, tears forming in her eyes.

“Really? You’re serious?”

“Yes. But there would be one condition.”

“What is it?”

“You’d have to agree to go to law school. We don’t want to just hire any paralegal. We need to have someone we can count on to take up some of the reigns as we grow. The firm of course would subsidize your schooling, again, the timeline would be a little iffy right now, but that would be the plan. We know we’re a risk, but we hope you’ll consider it.”

Penelope wiped her eye and stared around the whole group, likely taking in the hopeful expressions on everyone’s faces. She mumbled, “Oh my god, um…but my nana…”

Pierce, who had apparently been standing nearby and eavesdropping, stepped into the circle and said, “Jeffrey! Marcus! I, Pierce Hawthorne of Hawthorne Wipes, will proudly take my business to your firm! And I’m a whale!”

Having some mixed feelings but actually feeling overwhelmingly touched, Jeff squeezed Annie’s hand and said, “You’re sure, Pierce?”

“Absolutely. I can’t hang out with these guys anymore. Even with the strippers.”

Jeff nodded appreciatively at him and said, “Thanks, Pierce. So, Penelope, what do you say? I won’t take a paycheck until we can pay you.”

Now beaming, Penelope grabbed both Jeff and Mark into a hug and squealed, “Yes! A thousand times, yes!”

 

 

X

Jeff and Mark approached Ted, who was standing near the bar, dropping various coins through his hand as Ellen looked on with a scowl.

“You’re an idiot, you know.”

“Shut up, Ellen. You did this to me.”

“Burn in hell.”

“Go hump Mitchell. I hear his girlfriend dumped him.”

“You know what? Maybe I will. He has full use of _both_ his hands.”

Ellen suddenly smiled sweetly at Jeff and Mark and murmured, “Oh, excuse me,” and then stumbled off, drink in hand.

Jeff cleared his throat and said, “Ted, Mark and I have something we’d like to discuss with you.”

Ted lifted his head with a drunken smile.

“You do? Well, come on over, and let’s do some shots before the strippers get here! Oh, and make sure your ladies get home safely. I reserved a bunch of limos out front, and they’re stocked with makeup and perfume samples, just to keep them happy.” He winked.

Jeff and Mark tightened their smiles, and Jeff said, “That’s just it, Ted, we wont be staying for the strippers.”

“Oh, hell. Well, that’s okay, I suppose it’s kind of awkward to explain that to the missus the first year. But Christmas party for sure, right Winger?”

“Actually, even if I were here by then, I’d be pretty darn busy with my newborn.”

“Oh, right. Wait. If?” Ted eyed them both with wariness, and Jeff bit the bullet.

“Yeah, we’re giving our notice. Both Mark and I are quitting.”

Mark nodded emphatically. “Yes, we are. We are quitting.” He lifted his nose in righteousness and then gave Jeff a not so subtle thumbs up.

Ted gasped, “You’re joking!”

“No, we aren’t. Ted, it’s become painfully obvious that we value different things. You want me to take over the less seedy clients, but see, I can’t do that and actually be seedy. Which I think you think I’m pretending to have turned over a new leaf, but see what you don’t get is that I’m not pretending. I really have changed. Greendale has changed me, and loving Annie has changed me. I’m not longer interested in strippers and getting wasted and backstabbing my colleagues. I want to practice law honorably and to actually help people. So, yes, I’m giving my notice.”

Ted stared at him and let the last coin fall through the hole. He said, “I see. Well, that is disappointing. And hell, too bad you and _you_ ,” he looked at Mark with disdain, “can’t poach any clients. You have a strict non compete clause.”

Mark said, “Oh, _I_ don’t plan on taking any clients. I know I can’t do that.”

At the implication, Ted shot Jeff a furious look and turned red.

 

X

They were high fiving themselves on the way back to the group, and Jeff caught Annie’s prideful gaze and wanted to run over and scoop her up.

So he did.

“Jeff!” She giggled as he lifted her in his arms, and they began kissing furiously through their grins.

As he gently placed her back down, he said, “We’re free!”

Penelope clapped excitedly and said, “I just emailed my supervisor, and I’m going to clean out my desk tomorrow!”

“Awesome. We’ll show you the new digs on Monday.”

“I can’t wait!”

Pierce handed Penelope a check, and she scrunched up her nose, and Jeff reached over and took it from her, shoving it back at Pierce.

“Pierce! You don’t pay her directly! We’ll work something out.”

“Right.”

Jeff turned toward the whole group and said, “So we should all probably go. I don’t think we’ll be welcome here much longer, unless Ted is too wasted to coordinate our escorted exit.”

They all nodded and started to shuffle off when Mark grabbed Jeff’s arm and said, “Everyone! Please, wait! Just a minute!”

They all stared at him, and he glanced up at the ceiling.

The lights began to flicker, and Jeff knew that was the cue for the balloons to drop, something that happened every year at this time, and he instantly surmised Mark’s plan. He grinned and pulled Annie back so that Mark could rush toward Jenny and go down on one knee and pull out the ring box.

“Jenny, will you marry me?”

The balloons came cascading down, and Jenny shrieked, “You goon! Yes!”

 

X

As they exited the hotel, Jeff heard the familiar voice.

“Tango! Wait a minute!”

Jeff turned to see a drunken Alan approach, and he protectively placed himself in front of Annie and was relieved that the rest of the group was right there to witness anything.

“What is it, Alan?”

Alan swayed a little and pointed toward him. He hissed, “I was the one who turned you into the state bar.”

“I know. I never got the chance to thank you, buddy.”

“What?!?”

“My life is so much better now. Really, you should try it. Find your people, Alan. Stop drinking. Learn to know you don’t have to be a despicable human being. I wish that for you.”

“Fuck off.”

Jeff shrugged. “At any rate, I bid you adieu, Alan. I just put in my notice. Mark and I are starting our own firm, and Penelope’s coming to work for us.”

Alan stared at him for several beats of silence.

“No way.”

“Yes way.”

“Do you have anything for me?”

 

x

They huddled up in the bed, Jeff groaning as he tried to get comfortable.

“Crap. Britta’s mattress isn’t as big as ours.”

“Shhh.” Annie placed her finger over his lips and then indicated with her head toward Sophie’s sleeping form on the air mattress on the floor.

He could make out Annie’s eyes in the darkened room, for a little bit of light was creaking in through the window.

“I don’t know how you talked me into this.”

“Well, we couldn’t just let Troy and Abed go home to our baby and not see her, now could we?”

He reflected on Britta’s understanding of the situation, and her willingness to let them have her bed for the night. She had camped out on the couch, and Ian had gone home, and it just seemed right that they stay over.

After the night’s events he wanted to be with his family so bad. And he wanted to see Sophie’s sweet little face first thing in the morning. He reached his hand over to the bump and gave it a kiss.

“Good night, baby.”

It was then that he felt the movement, and he gasped.

“Did you feel them, Jeff?”

“Um, yeah, I think so.”

He kept his hand still and waited, both him and Annie almost squeaking with excitement.

There was another push against his hand, not really a kick but more of a consistent movement, and it felt weird and amazing.

“I feel our baby.”

“Aww, Jeff.”

“They’re real. Hi, baby.”

 

 

 

 

 


	13. Advanced Wooing

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff does his best for his lady.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some smut is contained herein. You are warned.  
> Also, some mentions of disordered eating issues
> 
> (Apologies for the delay, but that last mega chapter wiped Celery out!)

The big day finally arrived, and Annie did her best to make sure Jeff had everything he needed. He had been studying diligently, perhaps even more so after the party fiasco, and she knew he was slowly tying himself into various mental knots.

But Bar Examination (day one of two) was here, and she was proud of him. She knew he could do it, but she was also aware he didn’t want her to make too much of a fuss. He had been tossing and turning all night and had eventually fallen asleep on the couch because he hadn’t wanted to wake her anymore, mumbling that he knew she and the baby needed rest.

She made a mental note to tell him how sweet he was once this was all over, when he could finally hear it.

She set out Sophie’s pancake, taking a moment to spread a big pad of butter on it before covering half of it with syrup. Sophie’s eyes lit up with excitement, and Annie leaned down and gave her a kiss on the forehead. She loved spoiling her, conscious that the next few months would be her last time as an only child. Although she was excited about it, she knew that she would never again have this one-on-one time with Sophie, at least not in the same way.

_“Thank you, Mama.”_

“You’re welcome, sweetie.”

She paused for a moment as she felt the baby turn, something that usually didn’t occur until the evening, but sometimes when she had some sugar in the mornings they would get restless. So far she hadn’t really felt any kicking, but she remembered with Sophie that took a little longer to happen.

“Oh, there you go.”

She turned her attentions back to Sophie, who was now having her bear give the bump kisses, and she smiled and thought about how far Sophie had come with her growth. Right now, it seemed almost like yesterday that she was inside her and she had been both anxious and excited to meet her.

“Thank you for the kisses, bear. The baby likes that.” She ran her hand lightly over Sophie’s curls.

Sophie giggled and then plopped her bear next to Arianna Puffington, who sat with a bib to her left. The dragon had a bit of chewed edges on its wings, and Annie was eternally grateful to Ian for having saved her. Since the incident last week, Sophie had been eyeing Ruffles warily, even with both Annie and Jeff explaining to her that things would be fine if she just kept her dragon away from the dog. They reminded her that Ruffles never went after her other toys.

Sophie stared down at Ruffles, who was wagging her tail and looking up at her excitedly, clearly anticipating some bits of pancake being dropped and perhaps a dragon, and she said, _“You’re not nice, Ruffles. I told you, you can’t have Ar-ana Puffton. You need your own toy.”_

Annie went to grab the plate she had prepared for Jeff and placed it down where he usually sat. She then moved the chair out and began to awkwardly slide into her seat, noticing to her surprise and frustration that it wasn’t as easy over the past day or so.

She felt her chair gently scoot her into place as Jeff growled into her ear, ”There you go, my baby mama.”

She chuckled at this and then said, “Thank you.”

She turned and saw Jeff smirking at her, and she could smell his cologne as he had come fresh from showering and dressing. He looked surprisingly well rested, but if she peered closely she was sure he had some dark circles under his eyes. She bet he swiped her concealor again.

He then joined them at the table and looked down and began to pick at his eggs, which was unlike him. He normally relished his protein first thing in the morning.

She turned her attentions back to Sophie and said cheerily, “You have a really good idea. I think we should get Ruffles her own stuffed toy to play with. She seems to want something besides her ball.”

 _“Yes, she’s sad she doesn’t have a dragon,”_ Sophie pouted as she continued to stare down at Ruffles, _“And my dragon is del-cate. She don’t want to breathe fire on Ruffles. She like Ruffles.”_

“We should try another squeaky toy. Maybe we can find one this afternoon at the pet store.”

Sophie smiled in agreement and then went back to her pancakes, attacking them with gusto.

Annie turned as she heard Jeff muffle a laugh, and she saw the twinkle in his eyes as he regarded Sophie’s efforts with her fork.

“You know, munchkin, I might have to start calling you the hobstabber.”

Sophie appeared to either not hear him or was actively ignoring, as she shoved more pancake into her mouth.

Annie raised a brow and asked, “Hobstabber?”

He shrugged and gave her a wink, “I’m trying some things out. Might have to think about not calling the next one _munchkin_ or varying it up a bit. Otherwise it’ll just get confusing.”

“Or you could call our children by their actual names.” 

She exaggerated an eye roll, but she really didn’t mind the nicknames. She knew he did it with affection, and what she always assumed was initially a way to sort of have rapport with Sophie, in a way that also made an odd intimate-distance. It was something she could never quite pinpoint, and something that she was sure changed as he got closer to Sophie. After a certain time, it was just something that he did, and she was always kind of touched when she heard him use Sophie’s actual name, which tended to be when she was sick or hurt or when he was a little more unguarded.

“I suppose we should talk about names at some point?”

“That would be fun.”

They held eye contact for a few moments, both likely spinning with thoughts. Annie didn’t know what he was thinking for names, but she knew she had her trusty baby name binder all ready to go. It was color-coded with indexing flaps, and she couldn’t wait to show it to him.

But she supposed he had other more pressing matters, which is why she hadn’t mentioned it thus far.

She said tentatively, making active efforts to push down her excitement, “Maybe we could start that this upcoming weekend? When you’re more relaxed?”

He smiled tightly for just a brief moment, and then looked down at his eggs, using his fork to slowly move them around before finally lifting a piece.

“Jeff, you’ll get through this. We’re rooting for you.”

“Thanks.”  He then took a bite of the eggs and began to slowly chew.

Sophie, who had of course been listening all along, looked up and said, _“Daddy, you go to school today and you do good.”_

“Thanks, munchkin…hobsagey one.”

_“I had a test at school too.”_

“You did?”

_“Yeah, I tell Miss Julie my fav--oite color. I say all the colors, but she say I can only have one.”_

“That’s quite the dilemma. That must have been hard.”

_“Yeah, I say pink and purple, but then I had to pick one. So I say purple. Mama like purple too.”_

“That’s true, she does.”

_“You should pick blue, Daddy. You like blue. But it’s okay if you pick purple. Purple’s a good color.”_

“You’re absolutely right. I don’t know why I’m over thinking this.”

_“And when you finish school, you come home and we name the baby.”_

He stifled a chuckle in an attempt not to choke, and Annie leaned over and patted his thigh.

“Sophie, sweetie, do you have ideas for naming the baby?”

Seeming now very pleased, Sophie laced her fingers in front of her and announced, _“Yes. I have lots of names.”_

“Really? Like what?”

_“No. I tell when Daddy relaxed.”_

At this, Jeff wiped his mouth and said, “Well, hobsage, I welcome your ideas, and I agree we will all discuss it when I’m done with school.”

_“You come home tonight?”_

“Yeah, of course. But I’ll be a little busy. I have to study for more school tomorrow.”

_“Oh.”_

Annie chimed in, “You know, we talked about you getting a hotel, just for tonight. We can still do that, and you could totally concentrate and not have to worry about us. I can go by and reserve a room for you and leave you a bag of everything you’ll need, and text you the info….”

\--“Annie, no.” He leaned over and gave her hand a squeeze. He then looked back and forth between her and Sophie and said, “I’m doing this for us as a family. There’s no way I’m letting this stupid test keep me from you guys. I need to stay grounded to both…all three of you.”

At his intense gaze, she almost melted. She wiped a tear forming near her eye and said, “Okay.”

There was a whimper, and Jeff groaned and looked down near his feet.

“Sorry, all  _four_ of you.”

 

X

X

X

So, the Bar Exam kind of sucked.

Jeff remembered taking it the last time, and it was an absolute nightmare, but he had finagled and perhaps cheated his way through it. Some cheating, some finagling. Turns out it was kind of hard to completely fake one’s way through it. There were essays. He was good at essays, as he could argue his way around, so it had all worked out. And he figured if he failed then it wasn’t that big of a deal. He’d take it again at some point.

This time, he felt the pressure more intensely, and he was pretty sure it was because he had a family now. He couldn’t let them down, and he couldn’t let his business partner and new employee down either. He kept throwing up his food and hiding that fact from Annie, not wanting to alarm her. He had perhaps unhealthy urges to go lift weights for eight hours after the first night and follow it off with a bottle of Scotch, which was kind of why he turned down her offer of the hotel room. It made sense in theory but in reality he knew the only way he’d take care of himself was by allowing Annie to take care of him. And seeing the munchkin, even if was only for dinner and then a kiss goodnight.

He loved those little munchkin kisses and the little munchkin eyelashes as they closed into a peaceful slumber. He wanted her to always sleep that contentedly and never have the experience of having to patrol one’s house on guard.

Okay, so he was using munchkin again, even if it was only in his mind. He supposed they really did need to talk about names for the other one.

And he wanted to rub his hands over the furball and took some comfort in tossing the new stuffed green dragon, slightly smaller in size, at Ruffles before Annie reminded him he should go back to study for day number two.

And he really needed to slide into bed next to his lady at night, even if he did end up leaving around two in the morning and pacing the apartment before punching a pillow on the living room couch.

 

X

After twelve hours total of testing, consisting of two hundred multiple-choice questions and various essays, he was done.

He wasn’t sure how he did, but his head was floating with problem solving, legal analysis and reasoning, factual analysis, communication (his strong suit legally that is hah!), organization and management of legal task (not a strong suit), and recognizing and resolving ethical dilemmas.

He had to admit Greendale had helped him a lot with that last one.

And he drove in a daze home, utterly exhausted yet kind of pumped. He let himself in and bent down to take off his shoes, feeling the intensity of his grin as he heard the little stomping sounds and clicking of the dog collar.

He let himself fall completely on the ground and be assaulted. It was a wonderful feeling to not have to worry about cramming his head full of facts anymore, and to let his cheeks be poked and his ears be licked, he hoped by the appropriate respective small creatures.

“Jeff!”

He could hear the laugh in her voice, and he made sure to protect his eyes before he opened them. He grabbed Sophie into a bear hug and gave her a big kiss and then reached over to scratch Ruffles, before finally taking in the sight of Annie staring down at him with a loving smile.

“God, I missed you so much. You have no idea.”

“We’re happy you’re home.”

 

X

X

That night, they decided to celebrate. They had a nice family dinner and took Ruffles for a walk before watching a cartoon and then settling Sophie in bed.

It was the after Sophie’s bedtime part that Jeff was really looking forward to. He hadn’t been feeling that sexual for the past week, even if Annie did get aroused by flashcards. He knew he was really stressed when he rebuffed her advances. But now was different. He was finding himself drawn to her, and he made sure to enjoy her strawberry lip gloss as they did a slow make out on the couch.

They eventually took things to the bedroom, and he kicked shut the door as he carried her in, noticing that was a slightly more awkward scenario these days, as the bump needed to be protected. He therefore held her more deliberately, and then placed her on the bed.

She fell back and rested herself on her elbows, fluttering her lashes as she purred, “You’re so decisive.”

He grinned as he leaned onto his side so as not to bump the bump(!) and began kissing her neck.

“You like that?”

“I do. I missed my husband.”

“I missed you too.”

She giggled as he ran his hand down her thigh, and then pouted as he let it linger near the hem of her teal dress.

“Jeff.”

He wiggled his brows and then went for it, very quickly and _decisively_ moving it up toward her panties, pleased to discover they were lace, and he began pressing his thumb into the center.

She bucked up at that, and he began kissing her, horny with all the possibilities that lay before them. She was looking unusually beautiful these days, her skin more flushed and once again he was amazed at the hair.

He also continued to appreciate the boobs. He moved down and began to kiss them, and then ran this tongue over the left one before leaning over and nuzzling her cleavage.

She let out a soft moan, and he just about lost it right here, he had missed her so much. He felt his pants tightening, and after taking a moment to explain the situation, unzipped and shimmied out of them, tossing them on the floor.

Before he had even lain back down, Annie had already begun work on unbuttoning his shirt, her eyes hungry with lust. He obeyed her every direction, and soon he was assisting her in getting out of her dress.

He took in the sight of the bump, letting his hand smooth it before Annie seemed a little peeved and he quickly explained, “I’m not freaked out, I just haven’t taken a good look in the past week.”

“We’ll be fine, Jeff. I’ll just go on top.”

“Right. That’s actually my favorite position, because then I can see you.”

“Me too.”

He leaned back in and they resumed kissing, and he let his hands wander to her bra and unclasp it, and then he made full use of the free range boob situation for a time before he urged her to let him show her some attentions, explaining he wasn’t sure how long he was actually going to last. She then eagerly laid back and removed her dark purple lace panties. He smiled as he noticed they were a new pair and after exchanging a questioning look with her, he placed them under the bed.

For safekeeping. It was a special night.

He kissed his way down her body, and although he told her he wasn’t freaked out, he did get a little weird at the thought that their unborn child was literally in between them, and as he kissed her belly, he fought every urge he had to give a greeting, knowing full well it would kill the mood.

As he settled in between her legs, he forgot about the gestating hobbit and let himself fully appreciate his lady. He took in the smell of her, and he felt his dick push against the mattress for a moment before he pulled it away and hunched back on his knees so that he didn’t accidentally make love to their bed.

At her whimpers, he knew he was on the right track, and he let his tongue tease her for a little while before he hit the spot and went at it.

“God, Jeeeffff.”

He went faster and then slowed, and then finally made use of his fingers so that she would really squirm.

As he sped up, she began pushing against him, and they fell into a rhythm, almost rocking back and forth. He could feel her about to come, and he counted his blessings as she let go.

The resulting moan was perhaps louder than it should have been, but he found himself gleeful, knowing he could still rock her world, and the sound of her slapping her hand over her own mouth made him laugh.

“It’s okay. She’s sleeping soundly right now.”

“Oh, um. Right.”

She smiled sheepishly down at him and then tugged his hair for him to come on up, and he ignored the potential for her to make him prematurely bald and obeyed.

They lay almost lazily next to each other for some moments, him on his side so that he could see her as she gazed into his eyes.

Hers were full of adoration, and he hoped his matched, for he certainly felt the same. She eventually leaned in and they resumed kissing, and she not so subtly indicated he should fall onto his back.

As she climbed on top, he marveled at how they had once held back on situations like this, waiting months to be fully melded with one another. He didn’t know how they had managed it, but he assumed he had no clue at the time how amazing it would be.

How utterly life-changing it would be.

Sex with Annie was never simple, and yet it was. He felt her slide down onto him, and he thanked God he hadn’t messed things up during their courtship.

Who was he kidding? He was still wooing her. He knew he needed to do that every day, and he didn’t mind in the least.

He felt a moan escape his lips.

“You like that?”

“God, yes.”

They moved slowly at first, and he was grateful, once again aware that he wouldn’t last long. Annie knew by now how to get him as far as he could reasonably go in such circumstances, and he tried to give her some nonverbals so she could back off as needed.

Eventually, the speed increased more consistently, and he bucked up into her and let go. If he had been more present, he’d have probably appreciated her likely pleased expression, for she liked to have control over him. As he continued to empty inside her, he began to feel the ripples of her convulsions, and he gave himself an emotional high five for having gotten her to orgasm with him. It didn’t always happen that way and he knew it didn’t have to, but he loved it when it did.

He wanted to give her as many orgasms a she could possibly achieve and endure in her lifetime. He knew it was an intimidating goal, but he was confident he could achieve it.

They held their position together for a little while, and as he softened, they naturally began to move apart. Although relieved at that because it was starting to get uncomfortable for him, he ached at leaving her. He wrapped his arms around her and held her tightly, breathing in the smell of her shampoo.

It was perhaps ten minutes later when she coyly turned around to face him, and she smiled at the realization that he was staring right at her.

“We’re both still awake.”

He licked his lower lip and growled, “Of course we are. We need to make up for lost time.”

Eyeing him with a coy skepticism, she said, “I thought you might be tired after all you’ve been through over the past two days.”

Well, that would not do. He’d have to set her straight.

“It’s because of _what_ I’ve been through that I want to make love to you all night long.”

She laughed, and he pulled her into a kiss. He knew that he needed a little more time to recuperate, but he knew some fooling around would help, and he was mentally still horny as hell.

They lazily made out for a while, and he pulled the sheets over them to make a bit of cocoon so that they would feel more intimate. It was something he never used to do with other women, for it had been more of focus on just the physical, but when he was half erect and in love, he found he actually liked just pulling his lady in as close as possible and kissing her.

He wasn’t sure how much time passed before she was once again making moves to straddle him, still wrapped under the sheets but playfully nudging him onto his back and kissing him intently between giggles.

_“What are you doing?”_

They instantly froze. Annie let out a squeak, and he might have as well, but he couldn’t be sure. They stared wide-eyed at each other and then, almost in the same moment, whipped their heads to the side, knowing full well what they’d find.

Sophie was standing next to the bed, wearing her glasses (of course she was), her head tilting in the way it did when she was intensely curious. She had an odd expression on her face, something that Jeff honestly didn’t have the mental capacity at the moment to decipher.

This was bad. Very bad.

He found himself saying, “Munchkin, you’re um, here.”

So he wasn’t very verbal anymore. The Bar Exam and orgasm had kind of done a number on his brain. Oh, and the terror of this present moment. That probably had something to do with it too.

He was vaguely aware of the scuffling noises and surmised that Ruffles was likely standing next to Sophie. He hoped to heaven she didn’t hop on the bed.

Luckily, Annie seemed to recover more quickly from the shock. She said with a surprising lightness in her voice, “Sophie, sweetie, we didn’t hear you come in. Are you having trouble sleeping?”

Jeff leaned over slightly to see that the door was open. Damn it with his lazy foot close earlier.

_“Are you playing a game?”_

Luckily they were still ensconced in their cocoon, and Annie grabbed the sheet and lifted her head up a bit more, pulling the sheet over her chest as she turned to regard Sophie. She unobtrusively swatted at Jeff under the covers, and he took her hint and inched over to the side, letting her hop off him so that she could lay on the bed near the snooping sneaky munchkin.

Without even a waver in her voice, she explained, “We were snuggling.”

Good one, Annie. Very good.

_“You’re on Daddy’s side of the bed.”_

“Um, that’s so I can talk to you, sweetie.”

_“Why you snuggle like that? You on top of Daddy.”_

“Sometimes grown-ups have a special snuggle. For Mama and Daddy time.”

Special snuggle. She stole that from him. It was like his term _special hug_ for whenever they need to have the talk with her.

Oh god, were they supposed to have the talk with her now?

He was going to throw up again.

_“Daddy tickle you?”_

“Um, what, sweetie?”

_“You laugh, Mama. And then you kissy kissy.”_

Crap, he wondered what she had seen. He was pretty sure they had been mostly covered, but she saw them kiss, or at least figured that’s what they were doing.

Betraying no hint of fluster, Annie quickly answered, “Yes, Daddy was tickling me.”

She was good.

 _“Mama, are you naked?”_   At this, Sophie began squealing with her own laughter. Nakedness was always a solid source of preschool humor.

Annie pulled up the sheet a little more under her arms, but of course that didn’t matter, as her bare shoulders were clearly visible, and Sophie had already caught on. Sophie then leaned over and stared at Jeff, her eyes going to his bare chest. Luckily nothing else was exposed, but he still cringed.

Sophie pointed and began shrieking with giggles.

_“Daddy naked too?!?”_

He couldn’t speak. This was bad.

“Yes, sweetie. Sometimes we sleep naked.”

_“Why? That’s so silly!”_

“Because that’s what mamas and daddies do with they have special snuggle time. They’re naked.”

How in the world did she remain so poised? He was halfway between utter panic and laughter of his own. He felt the heat rising in his cheeks and flushing throughout his chest.

 _“I like snuggles too. We come up?”_ Sophie indicated with her head toward the floor, likely pointing toward Ruffles.

She added, _“Ruffles naked too.”_

At this, Annie whipped her head to catch his eye, and he saw the panic and at least felt validated. Perhaps calm and cool Annie Edison-Winger wasn’t so composed after all.

She turned back to Sophie, who was already trying to climb up, and said, “Sweetie, it’s Mama and Daddy special snuggle time. We don’t all sleep here until it’s really late at night.” She then added for extra clarification, “ _After_ special Mama and Daddy special snuggle time.”

_“I wanna snuggle too. I have dream. Grandpa Peas sick and go away, like Dino’s Grandpa. He died.”_

Well this was a new wrinkle. They had been having some awkward conversations with her lately after the Dildopolis family tragedy, using various animal explanations to talk about things. It wasn’t something he was very comfortable doing and he had been distracted by studying, so Annie had been mostly handling it.

Right now he felt pretty crappy for having wanted her to go away. She was probably pretty confused and scared.

Even if she dreamt about Pierce dying. That was probably upsetting for her.

Annie bit her lip and said, “Oh, sweetie. Grandpa Pierce is okay. It was just a dream.”

_“Can I sleep with you?”_

He could hear Annie’s sigh, and he glanced over at the now tearful munchkin eyes and grumbled, “It’s okay.”

“Jeff.”

“Well?” He leaned over and shot her a look.

Her mouth half opened in almost protest, but then she smiled tightly and turned back to Sophie.

“Mama and Daddy need to put on some clothes first.”

_“Why?”_

“Because when we all sleep together as a family, we wear clothes.”

_“But not Ruffles.”_

As he leaned over to grab the sleep shirt Annie always left on her side of the bed in case she needed to jump up to get Sophie in the middle of the night, he found his voice and chimed in, “Ruffles has her collar. That’s her clothes.”

He handed Annie her shirt, and she gave him a grateful look.

_“Oh.”_

Annie sat up and put on her shirt, clearly not that concerned about Sophie seeing her naked, most likely because it was half dark and Sophie had seen her naked on many occasions, such as in a locker room or when she was getting ready sometimes. Jeff wasn’t nearly as comfortable with the idea of being exposed, and he silently hoped he could grab some clothes after Annie hopefully distracted Sophie.

She glanced at him and smiled slightly, her cheeks now fully flushed, and he placed his hand over his mouth, feeling a sudden urge to break out in full on laughter for some reason. He had a hunch it was nerves, and he looked down and tried to compose himself, which wasn’t easy, as Sophie was looking over at him with a big grin on her face.

_“Daddy, are you really naked?”_

He nodded solemnly but could no longer speak.  Fortunately, Annie intervened once again.

“Sweetie, let’s go get Count Frogula and have him join us. And Daddy can put on his pajamas.”  She reached down and took Sophie’s hand, plastering on a bright smile.

Sophie shot him an odd sly look. He was pretty sure she was finding this whole thing fascinating while also not having any clue in the slightest as to the actual gravity of the situation.  He was also fairly confident she’d be telling the whole world about it at the soonest opportunity.

He found his voice once again and inched up so that he was now completing sitting up, the sheet carefully over his lap as he said in his best sardonic tone, “You better go get Count Frogula, because I’m getting cold and I need to find my t-shirt.”

 _“It der.”_ Sophie said this a little too loudly and pointed over to his grey shirt lying at the end of the bed.

“I know.”

 _“And you not wear pants!”_ She shrieked and then burst into laughter.

At this, Annie tugged at her hand and said firmly but lovingly, “Sophie. We aren’t going to make fun of Daddy anymore.”

Sophie threw her bear at him, and he caught it.

With an exaggerated sigh and attempt at humor, he said, “Oh, it’s okay to make fun of me. After all, I don’t have pants.”

“Jeff.”

They exchanged bemused looks and he gave her a wink.

She ushered Sophie out, closing the door behind them.

Ruffles then used the opportunity to hop up on the bed and bother him.

 

X

It was several minutes before they returned, Sophie now having a full sippy cup of water from the kitchen, Count Frogula, and a book about a duck. Jeff had used the time wisely to frantically get dressed and put on new sheets, otherwise kind of low key freaked out about her sleeping with them right after they had done the deed.

He was a bad person. He was terrible.

He was also pretty sure most parents faced this sort of thing sooner or later. Well, maybe not this exact situation, but something kind of awkward.This was kind of awkward.

Sophie seemed to have recovered from her giggles and was just happy that he bent down and picked her up, giving her a kiss before tossing her on the bed.

“Jeff.”

He smirked over at Annie, who was still noticeably blushing. Pulling her into a hug, he whispered, “Is everything good?”

She whispered back, “Yes, she didn’t see much. And we called Troy, and he says since he still has a key, he’s going to check on Pierce for her. She was very happy about that.”

He had to give it to his wife again. She knew exactly what to do to assuage Sophie’s fears, likely minimizing any potential for trauma in both those spheres. He was also pretty astounded, yet when he thought for a minute not actually surprised, that Troy would be so eager to help Sophie.

God, he hoped Pierce wasn’t actually dead.

He roused himself back to the present moment and whispered, “Special snuggles?”

“She thought it was funny.”

“Oh, it was. Thank you for being so quick on your feet.”

“Make it up to me later?”

At this, his heart almost skipped, and he had to re-evaluate the situation. Annie Edison-Winger was a vixen. She had just saved them from acute mortification, having smoothed over the curiosity of a four year old while giving a PG explanation for the display, while still maintaining an interest in the sexy times.

He loved her so much.

He couldn’t wait until he had his Bar Exam score back.

But he knew whatever happened, he was a lucky guy.

 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For you, randomramblesff. Sometimes Celery does fan service. ;)


	14. Advanced Biological Processes

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff frets and Sophie is curious

“So yeah, Pierce ain’t dead.”

Jeff smiled tightly with closed lips, nodding his head just so. It was pretty much what he figured, and what Troy had informed them of via text the night before. Why he was repeating it now was a bit puzzling. He shifted from his position on the bleachers to face him, and was slightly unnerved to see Troy staring at him wide eyed as he clutched the basketball on his lap.

Jeff cocked his head and waited.

Seeming to not pick up on Jeff’s subtle attempt at asking _why the hell are you still talking about this_ , Troy emphatically nodded and said, “At first I had Gilbert check his pulse, but even when he got all weird about that and then checked and said it was fyne, I still didn’t feel it was fyne you know? So I held up a mirror.”

“You had a mirror?”

“Abed came with me. He said we might need it. Thank god, because it sure worked.”

“You saw Pierce’s breath on it?”

Furrowing his brow, Troy seemed to consider this for a moment. He then scrunched up his mouth and looked down at the basketball before saying, “Yeah, that probably would have made more sense. I smacked his nose with it, and yikes, you _do not_ want to do that to Pierce. He was pretty mean about it.”

Jeff sighed and considered he would probably regret the question, but asked anyway, “Troy, why are you still thinking about this? I mean, thank you for going over there last night. We really appreciate it, but yes, Pierce is fyne.”

Troy looked up and his lip quivered. Jeff was at a loss as to what he was going to say next.

“I really wanted to make sure. For Sophie’s sake. Annie said she was pretty upset.”

“Thanks, Troy.” Jeff reached over and patted him on the shoulder.

Troy was an amazing friend, and Jeff once again marveled at the way he looked out for Sophie. He turned his attentions back to the basketball court, noticing Britta and Abed were in intense conversation as Sophie, hands stuffed into the pockets of her purple overalls, glanced back and forth between them with a huge grin on her face.

Troy followed his gaze and said, “Yeah, so Abed’s mad at Britta. FYI.”

“Really?”

“Yeah, he’s still upset she went to Ibiza with Professor Duncan.”

“You guys got rid of her for weeks. I would think he’d have been overjoyed.”

Troy shook his head. “Nah. Abed actually kinda likes Britta. Sure, he had that little freak out about me and her hooking up, but he’s over it now. She just keeps frustrating him since she’s not sticking to tropes.”

Jeff turned back to Troy with a squint. “You guys hooked up?” He was surprised at this information, having been fairly certain, even if he pretended he didn’t care and didn’t listen, that Britta and Ian were kind of a thing. Actually, he was pretty sure they were a thing, given that according to Annie they had been in a monogamous relationship for like a year.

A year. Christ.

But she hooked up with Troy?

Troy smiled wistfully as he replied, “Nah, man. I just was maybe kinda interested in hooking up with her, cause even though she’s sometimes a pizza burn she’s actually pretty cool. She’s like really open, you know. Sometimes I just talk to her about all sorts of stuff and she’s like fyne with it.”

“So you like her?”

“Yeah, but I guess I’ve come to the conclustion that we’re really good as friends. Plus, most importantly, she said no to the hooking up part. She didn’t want things to get weird with me and Abed.”

“Ahh.”

Troy sighed as he continued to watch Britta and Abed argue. Britta jabbed her index finger into Abed’s chest, and Sophie let out a squeal of laughter.

“Perhaps I should go get the munchkin.”

Troy shrugged. “I’m sure they’re just low-key arguing. Britta keeps mostly hissing at him ever since she got back and he found out everything that happened.”

Half rising to go grab Sophie, Jeff stilled and sat. Once again, he turned back to Troy and asked, “Found out _what_ happened?”

Troy’s eyes briefly widened, and then he appeared to attempt to regain some composure, which Jeff could see right through.

“Troy. Tell me.”

“I-can’t-talk-about-Ibiza-or-Britta-will-kill-me.”

Jeff was about to say something, when Sophie bounded up to them and shrieked, _“Daddy! Tit-ta so silly. She say to Abed she going to make him into cookies and put him in the oven!”_

“Yeah, that sounds about right.” Jeff made sure to affect his most sardonic voice and motioned for her to climb up, assisting her with the last moves and then scooting over a little so she could sit between him and Troy.

“You know, munchkin, Troy was just telling me that Grandpa Pierce is doing really well. He was his usual shouty self when Troy went to see him last night.”

Sophie smiled and leaned over, opening her arms to indicate she wanted a hug, and Troy quickly shoved the basketball over to Jeff and accepted it, letting out a hum of contentment as he did so.

_“Thank you, Troy. I hope I can see Grandpa Peas today.”_

“Sure, I’ll take you by there after we’re done with our game.”

“Troy.”

“Sorry man, now I promised.”

Troy winked, and Jeff knew he was sometimes a lot more calculated than he gave him credit for.

But this Ibiza mystery was something his brain was now churning on. He felt compelled to make some cryptic comments to Britta feigning he knew so that she’s spill her guts. He was assuming it was some sort of drug trip or something like that, but then again Abed was upset about it, something about tropes. He’d have to find out more.

So he could tell Annie of course. She’d want to know.

Wait, Britta told Annie everything. Did she already know?

Shirley must not know or she’d have blabbed to him. He saw her last week for ice cream with the kids, and she hadn’t betrayed a hint.

His eyes gleaming, he redirected his gaze at Britta. Now that he was freed up from studying for the Bar and in that painful period of awaiting results, he had a newfound awareness of his surroundings and an urge for mischief.

Hee hee.

Britta was now approaching, her face in a scowl, and Abed remained motionless on the court, his eyes unreadable. Jeff exchanged the ball for Sophie, indicating to Troy that he should rejoin Abed.

As he stood, Troy said, “Yeah, I gotta make sure he refocuses. Between Britta and his new job, he’s been kinda tense.”

“Right. Go help him.”

Troy stepped down from the bleachers, and gave Britta a suspicious glare, which was returned in kind, and then ran off toward the court.

Britta plopped down in Troy’s spot and addressed Sophie, “I’m so sorry Abed and I were talking like that. Sometimes adults argue.”

_“You gonna make him into a cookie?”_

Britta smirked and replied, “Nah, I was just kidding. He probably wouldn’t taste very good, now would he?”

Sophie stuck out her tongue. _“Noooo! Yucky!”_

Jeff let Sophie then rest her head on his chest. He frowned as he noticed her suck her thumb, something they still hadn’t been able to stop her from doing, but once again he reflected that they hadn’t really tried that hard. He supposed with preschool starting soon they should do something about that. He made a mental note to ask Ian on how best to address it.

But part of him kind of wanted her to stay a baby.

Britta eyed Sophie with a soft smile.

“She seems tired.”

He placed a kiss on Sophie’s head and said, “She had a bad dream last night, something about Pierce. But Troy checked, and Pierce is fyne, so nothing to worry about.”

_“Grandpa Peas okay. He not died.”_

Britta nodded solemnly and remarked, “Well, that’s a relief, isn’t it daddy?”

“Yeah, peaches.”

She scoffed, “He’s your only client.”

“Right. Yes, I am incredibly relieved that Pierce is doing great.”

She snorted and glanced over at the court where Abed and Troy were now shooting baskets. She said, “You can join them. Sophie and I will hang out here.”

He let out a long sigh. “I think I’ll wait. I’ve been so preoccupied by the Bar Exam, we haven’t had time to catch up. What’s new with you?”

She eyed him suspiciously, and he internally squealed like a schoolgirl.

“Not much. Oh, and that’s right, congrats on taking the Bar.”

“Thanks. Now’s the wait for the results.”

“Eh, you’ll be good.”

“Probably.”

They sat in silence for a moment, and Jeff could feel Sophie’s head becoming heavier against him. He wondered how much that nighttime disruption took out of her, sensing that she had been pretty freaked out by the idea of something happening to Pierce. Of course, she had also caught him and Annie, and that probably was it’s own kind of trauma.

Well, trauma for him at least.

In an attempt to think of something more fun, he ventured, “You know, Troy tells me you and Abed are kind of fighting about you not following his tropes for Ibiza.”

He watched her out of the corner of his eye, and she paled. Well, Britta was normally pretty pale, but he could have sworn she got whiter.

Yes, definitely ashen.

Her response was even and controlled.

“Oh, you know how Abed is.”

Jeff licked his bottom lip in anticipation and said, “It doesn’t make much sense to me. See, I would have thought you’d have followed any vacation tropes, especially in a party locale.” He lowered his voice and added, “You know, partake of certain substances, get obliterated, do crazy stuff…”

\--“Shut up. I can’t believe he told you.”

He made efforts to keep a straight face. She couldn’t know he actually didn’t know.

“Well, Troy’s not one known for being able to keep secrets. You shouldn’t have counted on him to hold this close to the vest.”

She was eerily silent for a few moments, her eyes on the ground. He wondered what was going through her mind, if she was trying to strategize or if she was going to fess up completely.

Finally, she mumbled, “Vest.”

“Sorry, what?”

She looked up at him and said, “I was wondering if Ian told you. He swore he wouldn’t, but I wasn’t sure.”

Feeling slightly guilty, Jeff decided to at least be honest about that one. He said, “No, he did not.”

Now that he thought about it, he hadn’t seen much of Ian this summer. Sure, five weeks in Ibiza kind of took him out of the picture, but they hadn’t spent any one on one time since he got back. Again, Jeff realized he had been studying for the Bar, but Ian hadn’t really reached out, which was unusual.

He wondered if his mom knew. He made a mental note to actually call her this week.

Britta was still regarding him, and as he regained present moment awareness, she remarked, “I can tell you’re upset. Why? I wouldn’t think you’d care. I thought you’d just make fun of us.”

Something in his gut panged him, and he wasn’t sure why. Maybe it was because she just accused him of not caring. He liked to think he had evolved and that his friends knew he cared.

He said aloud, “I care about you guys. Actually, I love you guys.”

At this, Britta visibly stiffened, and a flush of pink fell across her cheeks. She then did the most bizarre thing of throwing her head into her hands and whimpering, which unfortunately roused Sophie from her half-asleep haze.

Jeff did his best to shift Sophie on his lap and hissed, “Britta, it’s okay.”

She looked up, her eyes filled with tears. She then stared at Sophie and quickly said, “Oh, I’m okay. I was just a little sad.”

Sophie pushed against Jeff, and he released his grip, letting her scoot over to Britta and climb into her lap. Britta pressed her head down onto Sophie’s and whispered once again, ”I’m okay.”

_“You sad.”_

“Yes, but everything’s okay. Uncle Ian and I just didn’t think about something the same way, and now I don’t know what I’m supposed to do. So, I have to have a pretty difficult talk with him, I think. But I don’t really know what I’m supposed to say. Or really what I want to say. I just don’t know. I can’t decide.”

_“You don’t know. But you say you’re sorry and he say he sorry, and it okay.”_

“Actually, that’s pretty much what we have said so far, and you know what, maybe we should stick with that, I don’t know.”

Jeff watched the interplay, and he kind of felt like an ass. He had been hoping to needle her about it, but now he knew that was probably not the best course of action.

He cleared his throat and confessed, “Just so you know, Troy didn’t actually tell me what happened in Ibiza.”

She shot a glare at him, and he recoiled slightly. She silently mouthed over Sophie's head, “You’re a jackass.”

He tilted his head and mouthed back, “I’m sorry. I do care about you guys.”

He caught the hint of a smile, and he was reassured that he hadn’t been too much of a jerk. He was actively trying to do better, but teasing Britta had always been so much fun. He leaned back against the bleachers and let his arms drape onto the next step.

Nice and relaxed. This was life post-Bar.

Britta was now addressing Sophie once again, as Sophie sat back on her lap so that they could face each other.

“What is it?”

_“I can make you feel better, Tit ta. I can tell you something really silly. It soooo silly.”_

Britta bit her lip and held back a chuckle.

“Well, don’t keep me in suspense. Tell me the silly thing.”

Sophie held her hand to her mouth and began laughing, a tear falling down her cheek. She eventually composed herself enough to say, _“I goed into Mama and Daddy’s room last night after my dream, and Daddy not weared any pants! And Mama and Daddy naked!”_

Jeff jerked back to stress mode and exchanged a frantic look with Britta.

Yes, he was fairly certain she was going to kill him.

“Jeff, oh my god, you….?” She stared at him.

With a wince, he quickly clarified, “She didn’t _see_ anything, we were under the covers.” He leaned over and caught Sophie’s eye and said, “Right, munchkin, Mama and I were naked, and yes it was very funny and silly, but then we put on some clothes.”

Sophie was wiping her eye, and he reached to carefully removed her glasses since he didn’t want them to get damaged. She then placed both hands over her eyes and began rubbing them, her little body still convulsing with laughter.

If he hadn’t been so mortified, he’d have found it pretty damn adorable.

_“It so silly! Why you and Mama sleep naked and have special snuggles?”_

He looked up to see Britta now regarding him with an expression of incredulity.

Silently judging incredulity.

He groaned, “Mama already explained this. Sometimes adults, when they love each other very much, have special snuggle time, and yes, sometimes they’re naked.”

He gingerly placed the glasses to his other side so they’d be safe. He wasn’t up to buying another pair until his firm was up and running.

God, how many diapers were they supposed to buy?

He was roused back as Sophie asked, _“But why?”_

“Because, that’s how adults, grown-ups, sometimes tell each other that they love each other. It’s only for grown-ups, and it’s…just …something…they do.”

Suave, Jeff, suave.

_“But why?”_

Britta interjected, “You could tell her the rest. She should know.”

“Stay out of this.”

Sophie turned to Britta, her now likely fuzzy eyes wide with interest.

_“Why?”_

Britta nodded smugly as she asked, “Don’t you ever wonder where babies come from?”

 _“Babies come from Mama’s tummy.”_  

“But how did the baby get there?”

Crap. He was going to kill her. And he knew she was not going to be fyne. Not at all.

 

X

X

 Several minutes later, after deflecting Sophie’s questions by telling her that they’d talk with Mama later all about it, Jeff nudged Sophie toward a now sweaty Troy and grabbed Britta’s arm, yanking her under the bleachers.

The last time he had been under bleachers he had been getting to third base with a girl in college. Before he dropped out. It had been kind of hot.

Now he was feeling hot. Hot with rage.

He snapped, “You had no right to do that!”

She pulled her arm back and looked dup at him defiantly, her eyes simmering with the self-righteousness she usually reserved for ridiculously lame protests.

“She was asking _why_ , Jeff.”

“Don’t you think this is something that you should have left to me and Annie?”

Britta rolled her eyes.

He added, “It’s my and Annie’s job to talk to her about stuff like that, when she _asks_. There’s no need to give her more information than she’s ready for.”

“She  _was_ asking about what she saw, and you know damn well she was going to ask how that baby got in Annie sometime very soon. And you mean more than what _you’re_ ready for, doofus.”

He snapped, “Yeah, well I confess. Maybe I wasn’t ready to have that conversation with her just yet. Maybe I wanted to hold onto to the idea that she’s small and innocent and doesn’t need to know all the crappy things that happen in this world…”

\--“Wait, Jeff I don’t understand. What are you?...”

“So yes, maybe I wasn’t ready for her to know. God, she thinks she’s mine and Annie’s. Why would I want her to know the truth? It’ll destroy her.”

He hadn’t been paying that much attention to what he had been saying, letting it all flow free of consciousness. But by the pang in his gut and the look on Britta’s face, he knew he’d have a difficult time walking this back.

Walking it back from Britta, but most importantly, himself.

It felt like he was in therapy.

“Damn you, Britta.”

“I’m so sorry. I had no idea.” She stepped closer to him and reached, and he instinctively pushed her hand away and turned to face the corner.

“Jeff, please.”

“You know if we explain how babies are made she’s going to ask.”

“Maybe she won’t. But regardless, you can tell her in a developmentally appropriate way.”

“Yeah, sure.”

“The sooner she knows, the less of a big deal it will be. You don’t want it to be a huge reveal someday and then she thinks you lied to her. Trust me, I know from personal experience that it fucks you up if your parents tell you one version of reality while you know another.”

“Britta, this isn’t about you.”

“Sorry.”

He made his best efforts to compose himself, and then with a heavy sigh, he slowly turned around to see her of course just staring at him with no subtly whatsoever. It was annoying and at the same time he knew she was right.

That kind of annoyed him even more.

She seemed to sense this and crossed her arms over her chest. Still regarding him with wide eyes, she gulped and then said, “If it helps, Ian and I got married in Ibiza.”

“Fuck.”

“Yeah, double-fuck. But then we realized that apparently since neither one of us is Catholic or a resident of Spain for the past two years that it wasn’t a legal marriage. So yeah, that was kind of weird.”

“You got fucking married?”

“Don’t sound so incredibleous. Yes, we sort of did. And I guess sort of not. And look obviously we didn’t think it through. It was spontaneous and we were both really high.”

“Ahhh.”

“And Abed’s mad because now wants us to realize that despite the ridiculousness of it all that we actually love each other and then we end up getting married here legally, with Abed of course capturing the moment of insight on film. Oh, and I’m supposed to make some grand openly vulnerable speech.”

“Sounds hellish.”

“Yeah.”

“Wait, I thought Abed hated Ian?”

“He does. But he’s much more invested in his tropes than how he personally feels about someone, apparently.”

They both slowly nodded and then Jeff stepped forward and pulled Britta into a reluctant hug.

“Thank you.”

 

x

x

x

After visiting Pierce, Jeff pulled the Lexus into the Greendale parking lot, intent on surprising Annie. He hadn’t stepped foot on campus since graduation, but he did run into the Dean daily since he was their neighbor, so he figured it wouldn’t feel that weird to be back.

But he felt a tingle on the back of his neck and a warming in his heart as he killed the engine. It was admittedly an odd combination of sensations, likely indicative of his anxiety over awaiting his Bar Exam results with the associations of having started his humble journey toward redemption at Greendale four years ago and the fact that he had learned how to open himself to love.

Love for the study group.

Love for Annie.

Love for Sophie.

He wiped at his eye and got out of the car and opened the backdoor to help Sophie out. He handed her the bear and let her hold his hand for a few feet before he smiled and bent down to pick her up, carrying her the rest of the way through the parking lot.

He hoped she’d understand and still love him.

He hoped she wouldn’t be hurt or sad.

He gave her a squeeze and a kiss as they entered the administration building. He inhaled the mysterious aroma of Greendale and tried to connect to the heart swell. They rounded the corner and finally entered the reception area.

He spied her dark hair sweeping as she perused some folders at one of the open file cabinets. She was softly humming a familiar tune, her face one of contentment.

“Hey, gorgeous.”

_“Mama!”_

She instantly smiled and looked up.

“Awww.”

_“Did we surprise you?”_

“You most certainly did.”

She closed the file cabinet and, casting a suspicious look toward the Dean’s closed office door, locked the drawer and stepped over to them, surreptitiously and deliberately placing the key amongst the tray of thumbtacks on her desk.

Jeff hoisted Sophie on top of the counter and leaned over for a kiss.

_“Eww.”_

Annie chuckled.

“Hey, munchkin.”

_“Dino say kisses ewwy. You kiss me on head. Why you kiss Mama on mouth?”_

“Because that’s what grownups do when they love each other.”

_“You kiss and you naked.”_

Jeff locked eyes with Annie, and she smiled slightly in a way he assumed she meant to be comforting. He felt an urge to talk to her about what Britta had said, knowing that the more time he spent with Sophie this afternoon, the increased likelihood of him having to keep redirecting her.

“Annie, can we talk?”

“Of course.”

“Privately.”

They both glanced at Sophie, who was now staring at a drawing next to Annie’s blotter. She picked it up and exclaimed, _“Oh my gosh! It’s a duck.”_

“Yes, sweetie. Buzz drew that for you. I was going to give it to you later.”

Without having to say it aloud, Jeff raised his brows and stared at her.

She smiled and said, “Sweetie, let’s go find him. I’m sure he’ll love to see you.”

 

X

X

After dropping Sophie off at Hickey’s office, they sat at the study room table, Annie in Sophie’s usual spot directly to Jeff’s left.

She smiled sadly at him as he finished telling her his concerns, and she then placed her hand on his arm.

“Jeff, it’ll be okay.”

“You think so?”

“Yes.”

He sighed and reached over to place his hand on her belly, which he had been noticing since his emergence from the Bar haze was noticeably larger since last week at the firm party. At least it seemed that way, he couldn’t be completely sure. The whole thing was still amazing and unsettling to him.

He whispered, “It’s not as simple with Sophie as it is with this one.”

She glanced down at his hand and placed one of hers over his.

“It’s actually pretty simple Jeff. She’ll know that you love her so much that you met her and chose to be her daddy.”

Annie Edison-Winger was pretty darn wise.

 

X

X

Sitting with Sophie on one of the study room couches, Jeff and Annie knew they’d have to just get it over with. There had been too much talk of nakedness, and even Buzz explained with a crooked smile that she had mentioned it, once again as a hilarious joke.

Jeff hoped Buzz wouldn’t tell his mom.

Did his mom get naked with Buzz?

He snapped out of his surprisingly juvenile haze and said to Sophie, “Munchkin, we wanted to talk to you about what you saw last night. About special snuggles.”

Sophie began laughing once again, and he exchanged a bemused and terrified smile with Annie.

“Sweetie, sometimes when grownups love each other, like your Daddy and I do, we have special snuggle time. It’s called sex.”

Well, crap Annie. He didn’t know she’d be that technical.

Sophie said, _“Okay.”_

Taking a deep breath, Annie soldiered on, “And it’s only for grownups. And it’s also how Mommies and Daddies make babies.”

At this, Sophie tilted her head in surprise.

“You know there’s a baby in my tummy. Well, your Daddy and I had special snuggle time and that’s how we made the baby. And now the baby gets to grow in my tummy until they’re ready to be born.”

_“Like Dino’s basketball.”_

Jeff furrowed his brow.

“Basketball?”

_“Yeah. Dino’s mama had a basketball in her tummy, but it was a baby too. How did the baby get in her tummy?”_

Jeff knew this one. He said, “Well, Dino’s daddy and mama had special snuggles and made the baby.”

Sophie nodded, clearly delighted with this information. She said, _“You and Mama make baby? Baby in her tummy. You keep making baby?”_

“Well, sometimes sweetie, mommies and daddies have special snuggles just for fun. But yes, sometimes they make babies too.”

Good one, Annie.

Sophie appeared to consider this for a moment and then asked, _“And that’s how I got in your tummy, Mama? You and Daddy make me with special snuggles?”_

At this, Annie looked up and gave Jeff a reassuring smile. He felt the acid in his stomach, but knew they could get through this. They just needed to have one little conversation now. One of probably many.

Just start with one.

“Munchkin, can I hold you for just a minute?”

Sophie nodded and climbed into his lap, and he steadied himself.

“So, actually, I wasn’t there when Mama made you. I hadn’t met Mama yet. I was living far away.”

That was pretty true. He had been living far away in a different reality.

Sophie stared up at him with wide eyes, likely not in fear but more in intense curiosity.

He plowed on, “Your Mama made you with Adam. He was a friend of Mama’s. So they made you. And then when you were very tiny, you were just a little baby, I met your Mama right here in this room. Right over there.”

He pointed over to the study table and let her follow his gaze.

“And then we went outside, and she went to go get you from where you go to school, and she brought you over, and I met you. You were wearing a pink bow on your head, and you were very happy to see Mama. And that’s how we met.”

Sophie scrunched up her mouth and stared back and forth between them and the study table. She then asked, _“You meet me here? When I a baby?”_

“Yes.”

_“I not in Mama’s tummy?”_

“You were in Mama’s tummy, but then you were born, like babies get born. Like Dino’s little sister Maria was no longer a basketball. She was born, and then Dino met her and then you met her. You were born, and then I met you.”

 _“Oh._ ”

He exchanged looks with Annie, searching for some sort of reassurance. She was silently crying now, and to his relief he noticed Sophie wasn’t looking at her but was gazing at her bear.

“And I gave your bear to you when you were a very small baby. And then your Mama and I realized we liked each other, so we decided to be boyfriend-girlfriend, and then we decided that I would be your daddy.”

She looked up at him now and smiled.

_“You want to be my daddy? You ask Mama?”_

“Yes, munchkin, I did. I said I want to be Sophie’s daddy so much. And you know what? She said yes. So that’s why we did the adoption too, remember? We had to sign those papers. We adopted each other, you and me, so then I’m your daddy and you’re my daughter.”

_“And we a family.”_

“That’s right, munchkin.”

He kissed the top of her head and reached for Annie’s hand, finding it slightly damp. He felt her fall into his side, and he thought the three (four) of them could sit there forever.

It was such an immense relief.

There was a sniff.

“Guys, I have to say, that was beautiful. My feelings.”

They turned to see the Dean standing in the doorway, tears flowing freely down his cheeks.

“Not now, Dean.”

“I’m so sorry. I was just looking for Annie. I couldn’t get into the file cabinet. I have no idea where the key is. It keeps disappearing!”

He sobbed, and Jeff wasn’t sure if it was leftover emotions from his eavesdropping or if he was actually that frantic about not being able to access some mysterious files.

Without missing a beat, Annie pet Sophie’s hair and said, “I have no idea. Did you check under your desk? You know how you’re always losing things.”

 

X

X

“So, names?”

They were sitting around the dining table at home, safely out of range from the Dean. At least Jeff made that assumption. He glanced over at the far wall and then decided to keep his focus where it mattered.

Annie sat up primly and opened her binder, which appeared to be a fantastic tome of colorfulness, various tabs sticking out.

“I have some ideas. Of course, I already told you what I almost named Sophie, so that’s a contender for a girl, right?” She eyed him some hesitancy.

“Of course.”

_“What you almost name me?”_

Annie turned toward Sophie and said, “When I was thinking of names for you, I thought about the name Sadie. So, I almost named you Sadie. But then I thought Sophie was a really nice name. My Bubbe’s name was Sophia, which is very similar to Sophie. And you looked like a Sophie. As soon as I saw you, I knew that’s what I was going to name you.”

Sophie blushed and hugged her baby doll, which she had brought to the table in anticipation for the family meeting.

“What do you think of the name Sadie if it’s a little sister?”

_“It okay.”_

“Munchkin, what are some of your ideas?”

Sophie nodded and placed the baby doll on the table. To their surprise, she then pulled out a crumpled piece of paper from her pocket and carefully smoothed out the edges.

It appeared to contain scribbles in crayon. There were some Post-It notes stuck on the back. Jeff glanced over at the colored tables on Annie’s binder and silently mouthed, “Did you show her your binder?”

Annie shrugged and then looked over at Sophie’s paper, her eyes gleaming with maternal pride.

Pretending to read her scribbles, Sophie said, _“I like some names for little sister. I like Annie and Dorie and Dean and Tit-ta and Maria and Elizabeth, and Apples and..”_ she paused and glanced over at the kitchen counter before adding, _“and Bananas and Peanut Butter.”_

Smiling happily, she smacked the paper and awaited their reactions.

“Wow, munchkin. Just wow.”

“Sweetie, those are all really great names. It’s so hard to decide.”

“Well, we already gave Ruffles the middle name of Bananas, so I’m afraid we’ll have to not do that one. Cross that off the list, munchkin.” He handed her a crayon, and to his bemusement, she complied and made a big ex over some random part of the paper.

“Let’s hear some of Daddy’s ideas.”

Now realizing their eyes were on him, he handed a whining Ruffles one of her little fake bone treats and said, “Um, I don’t know.”

“Jeff.”

_“Daddy, you know. What you wanna name baby?”_

He shrugged. “I guess, I mean, I like the name Sadie for a girl, like what Mama wanted to name you at first. I think it’s a nice name, and it would sound good, right? Sophie and Sadie. Our girls.” He turned toward Annie.

She gave him a soft smile.

“We should probably look at some others though just in case she doesn’t look like a Sadie. And Sophie sweetie, we probably should give her her own name. You had a lot of names on your list that are other people’s names. Here, let me read you some others, and you let me know if you like any of them, okay?”

_“Okay, Mama.”_

Annie flipped open her binder and began.

“Lila. Hannah. Eliana. Abigail, well we’d probably call her Abby. Talia. Leah. Kayla.” She paused, and then added, “Nora.”

“Nora? Wasn’t that your aunt’s name?”

“Yes. I was thinking, and now that my mom and I have talked about her finally, it might be nice to have another family name.”

_“I like Abby Baby.”_

“You like Abby, sweetie? Oh, that would be a nice name.” Annie circled the name and then looked expectantly up at Jeff.

He didn’t really know what to say. He wasn’t thrilled with the name Nora, but he could certainly understand the significance for Annie. The other names didn’t leave much impact on him. He supposed Abigail would be fine, but he had kind of grown attached to the idea of a Sadie.

“Jeff, do you have any family names you’d like us to consider?”

“Not really.”

“You’re sure?”

“Actually, I really like the name Sadie. It’s got my number one vote.”

_“I like Sadie too. Sadie Abby Baby Nora Bananas Winger.”_

Annie nodded and drew a star by the name Sadie.

“It seems as if we have a few good options for girl names. We’ll have to see what she looks like.”

_“Then we know?”_

“Yes, sweetie. Then we’ll know what her name is.”

 

X

They eventually moved on to boy names.

_“Dino, Sam, Braden, Jeff, Troy, Buzz, Bananas, Peanut Butter. And Apple and Cheese.”_

“Are you hungry, munchkin?”

“Sweetie, how about we think of some names that aren’t people that we know?”

“Or food.”

_“Okay, you say some names, Mama. I tell you.”_

Preening once again, Annie opened the binder and began to read, “Jeremiah, Matthew, Ethan, Elijah, Michael, Noah, and,” she hesitated and then her eyes shifted as she said, “Asher.”

Once again sensing some significance just as he had when she had said Nora at the end of the other list, Jeff asked, “Asher?”

She bit her lip and said, “My mom suggested it. I wasn’t sure at first, but the more I think about it, the more I like it. It’s a nice Jewish name, and it’s not that common but not that weird.”

“You’ve been talking a lot to your mom about this?”

“Well, I didn’t want to bother you, since you were studying. And I knew we’d talk about it when you were more relaxed, and well she and I were shopping, and I just started asking her how to name babies, and…”

\--“Annie, it’s okay. I get it. Hmm. Asher.”

“It means ‘Happy’ in Hebrew.”

“Wow. Um, yeah. We should consider that. We want a happy baby, right?”

Grinning, she circled it. “What about the others?”

“Michael’s a good one too. The others, eh.”

She nodded and made a mark next to Michael.

“Munchkin, what do you think?”

Sophie pretended to glance over at the binder to read it and then said, _“I like Asher. And No-no.”_

“You like Asher and Noah?”

_“Yeah.”_

“Great. Thank you, sweetie.”

He inwardly groaned when they both once again looked at him. He really didn’t know what to say. Of course he had been trying to think of names, but so far he had been stuck on nicknames for some reason. He couldn’t get over the munchkin versus munchkin number two, versus some derivation of hobbit.

And it all seemed so wrong. He had been awaking at night in a ball of sweat over it. Some of that had likely been due to the Bar Exam, but he suspected not all of it.

There was no way he could ever replace Sophie, his number one munchkin.

His only munchkin.

His only baby hobbit.

Clearing his throat, he said, “Honestly, I’m still trying to wrap my brain around the fact that we could end up with a boy in this household. I guess I’ve been assuming we’d have another girl. So, I’ve been thinking Sadie. But a boy? Yikes.”

_“Daddy, you’re a boy.”_

At the resulting chuckles, he smirked and said, “Yeah, I know. So if we end up with another boy in this family, I guess I trust Mama with this one. And you. Asher, Michael, or Noah. Any of those would be fine names with me.”

_“And we see what he looks like, and then we know.”_

“Right, munchkin. And then we’ll know.”

 

 

 

 

 


	15. Repilot?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everything's different.

 

It was the beginning of the new school year, and Annie was in good spirits. While it would be strange to not have the study group all together for year five, she was comforted by the fact that Shirley was running her sandwich shop in the cafeteria so she could see her every day after meeting with Pierce and Troy. At least that was the plan. Troy had mentioned wanting to keep things the same, with regular meetings in the study room, and they both contented themselves with the fact that they’d have each other should things get too awkward with Pierce. She had a hunch they both felt more than a little bit sorry for him.

And she’d still have her job with the Dean, so that was the same. And it would be easy to stop by for advising meetings with Buzz. And she’d take Ruffles to see Ian and return her to her psychology mascot duties.

Everything would practically be the same.

She felt her mouth tightening and her shoulders tensing. Recognizing that she was likely turning on her Annie smile to herself, she forced herself to relax it, and with that change she allowed her other feelings to come flooding in.

Britta wouldn’t be there. She’d be in Riverside starting her masters program. Abed would be in Denver working with Holly. Jeff would be in Riverside helping get things organized at his own firm, as he still had a week until he got his Bar results, but there was still plenty to do.

It would be a sparse study table for sure.

Sophie was starting preschool at Rodef Sholom today.

Preschool.

Sophie wasn’t a baby anymore. No more study table time. No more opportunities for her to drop by and see her during the day.

She sniffed and felt the sadness rush over her. She knew she was being silly, that this was all progress. Sophie should be going to preschool and moving on from Greendale, just as Jeff and their friends needed to all stretch and grow. But it was still a big change, and it really hit her that none of it would be the same.

She was startled by the kick and almost felt as if the baby was reminding her of their existence. She chuckled to herself and then marveled at the fact that the baby had actually kicked rather than simply turned. It was unmistakable and was hard.

It happened again.

She gasped and then placed her hand on her belly. With a mock-tsking tone, she said, “I didn’t forget about you. Some changes are good. You’re going to really like Greendale. You weren’t very big the last time we went to class. This time maybe you’ll hear and learn some things.”

“Annie.”

She turned around from her spot in the kitchen where she had been prepping Sophie’s lunch and let the grin over take her. Jeff was standing near the counter, his hair still damp from his shower. He was dressed in his crispest blue shirt and looked yummy. She was so proud of him, starting his own firm.

Yes, it was good he had moved on from Greendale, even if the study room would feel emptier without him.

Still smiling, she asked, “What is it?”

He was staring at her in that caring yet slightly patronizing way he did sometimes. She wasn’t upset by it in the least since she was pretty sure he found her tantalizingly lovable.

Sometimes it just got to her a little that Jeff Winger loved her unconditionally. It was a fact that she swore to herself never to take for granted, and despite how she sometimes breezily moved him along with things, she hoped he knew how much she appreciated him.

“I heard what you said. Were you trying to give our unborn child a rallying pep talk for Greendale?” He lifted his brows and smirked a little.

Adorable.

She nodded and then bit her lip with excitement, which he definitely noticed.

“Wait, what am I missing?”

“They kicked. Twice.”

He immediately shuffled over, still in his socks, and placed his hand on her so that he could feel. After several awkward moments, he frowned.

“They did it just a minute ago. I’m sure it’ll happen again.”

They exchanged soft smiles. She knew how much he wanted to interact more with the baby, to be there for their ‘firsts,’ perhaps even more so since he hadn’t been there for Sophie. She had been trying to reassure him that he was doing great and that the baby would know he loved them.

Keeping his hand in its place, he furrowed his brow and asked, “Does it hurt?”

With a sigh, she explained, “Not really. But it was pretty intense. Sophie’s kicks kept getting stronger and stronger, and by the end it was kind of painful. Or more just really unpleasant, but at the same time I loved it, because I knew she was healthy and strong. Does that make any sense?”

She looked up at him and hoped he would understand. There was so much she wanted to share with him, but she knew he couldn’t possibly fathom exactly what she was going through. But having a partner this time made her heart swell. She couldn’t wait to have him experience all the little baby moments after they were born, as she was confident he’d be enthralled.

He placed a kiss on her cheek and said, “Yeah, that does make sense, actually. We want a strong healthy baby, and as much as I don’t really want them kicking you, I’m kinda relieved that they’re kicking you.”

“See, you do get it.”

They grinned at each other and held each other's gaze.

She whispered, “I love you,” and he silently mouthed it back.

_“Mama, I have my backpack all set to go! I’m ready for school!”_

In bemusement, they turned to see a triumphant Sophie dressed in her finest blue dress with purple shoes. She held up her backpack, and a furry bear paw stuck out the side.

X

After getting everything together and convincing Sophie to leave her bear at home so he could rest up to greet her when she came back, they headed to Riverside, Jeff in his Lexus and Annie in the SUV with Sophie and Ruffles. While it didn’t seem right to drive separately, Annie needed to head back to Greendale after preschool drop off. They had discussed the situation and decided that Jeff would normally take Sophie to school since he had to go to Riverside anyway, but Annie wanted to be there for her first day.

They arrived at the school, and Annie helped Sophie emerge with all her things and encouraged her to say goodbye to Ruffles.

Sophie placed her head against Ruffles’ carrier and let the dog lick her nose. With a slight pout, she said, _“Bye-bye. I’ll miss you. I’m sorry you can’t go to school with me.”_

Annie chirped, in an attempt to perhaps even convince herself that the moment wasn’t sad, “She’ll miss you too, but she’s going to have plenty of fun with Uncle Ian.”

Sophie nodded somberly, and Annie closed the door. She then turned to see Jeff approaching with her mom, who had parked next to his car. Although she suspected Jeff wasn’t that thrilled with her mother being there for Sophie’s first day, they had acquiesced to her request to come just for today, as she was the one paying for the school afterall. It was dynamic that Annie was hoping wouldn’t be too problematic, and she was grateful that they could have Sophie go to a good school. The thought of leaving her somewhere she didn’t know was too much to bear. Plus her mother had been been pretty decent over the past few months. She still didn’t know quite what to make of it, but she couldn’t think of any nefarious reasons why her mother would be trying so hard.

Her mind flashed to the night that she had written that awful note, and a wave of guilt rushed over her. She couldn’t imagine if Sophie were to ever do something like that. She had been a lot more emotional since she had become pregnant, and at the same time she felt more vulnerable and connected to what her mother might have gone through that night and in the intervening years. It was a horrible bit of awfulness in her, and when she did have moments of connection with her mother now, whether it be shopping for maternity clothes or discussing names, the pit seemed to go away and she felt warmer and safe.

She always wanted her own children to feel safe.

She smiled at her mother, who was waving at Sophie. Jeff was mouthing some excited expressions as well, and Sophie squealed and ran over to them. Her mother gingerly bent down in her stilettos, and since this took a minute, Jeff crouched down and gave Sophie a big hug before her mother was able to do so. As they pulled out of the embrace, her hands went for her Bubbe, and she began to talk animatedly about her first day of school.

Sophie had been pretty excited about beginning at Rodef Sholom, as they had done their best to emphasize that this was what big kids did and that it was a place where she was going to learn a lot and make new friends. Jeff had promised he’d stop by to see her at lunchtime, as they allowed all parents to do so the first week so that the kids could settle in, and he let her know he’d be working just a few blocks away, so if she needed him he’d be right over.

She wiped a tear from her eye and walked over to join them.

Her mother stood and announced, “Anna, you’re looking very good. That outfit really sets the tone for a successful semester.”

Annie smiled wryly and turned from side to side to model her skirt suit, an ensemble her mother had purchased for her a few weeks ago. They had gotten it a bit larger than she needed at the time, and it was adjustable, so she felt confident in it.

Professional and confident, just the way she needed to be today on the first day of the semester for her fifth year. Set the tone.

“Thank you, mom. I’m really happy with it.”

Rachel nodded with approval. She then mused, “I haven’t seen you in two weeks. It looks like everything is progressing.” She stared at Annie’s belly and appeared to slightly widen her eyes before returning to her regular contained expression.

A little self-conscious now, Annie laughed and said, “It’s crazy. Twenty five weeks, so almost done with the second trimester. The baby just started kicking really hard this morning rather than just pushing and rolling about.”

Letting out a breath of what Annie suspected was relief, which kind of annoyed her, Rachel said, “Well, that’s very good indeed.”

Jeff interjected from his crouched spot near Sophie, “One day maybe they’ll kick for me.”

She smiled down at him, and he stood, holding onto Sophie’s hand.

With a nudge to his shoulder, which elicited a smirk, she said, “I’m sure you’ll feel a good kick any day now.”

As they all walked toward the school, Rachel mused, “You know, I was thinking of hosting the high holidays this year with all of us. Since your brother’s back, it would be nice for all of us to get together, wouldn’t it? I know you and Jeff have seen _his family_ this summer, but then there’s little ol’ me…”

Annie could sense Jeff’s eye roll. She had made the mistake of mentioning that they had gone to Jeff’s aunt and uncle’s barbeque in August, something that she normally had to drag Jeff to with the pleading that it was good for Sophie to see her cousins and for them to see Holly. In retrospect, she suspected that her mother had felt slighted by that, but then again their family didn’t have regular barbeques or other such events.

She sighed. “Mom, of course we'll come over for Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur. That sounds really nice, actually.”

“Excellent. I’ll make it very special.”

She contented herself with the fact that her mother seemed pleased, and it was such a reasonable request anyway. She did want to expose Sophie to more traditions anyway, given that she was now four years old and would start to understand and remember more.

She had been four herself when the stress headaches had begun, and she was hoping between her and Jeff at least they’d be able to buffer any unreasonable expectations her mother might have for Sophie's development. She glanced down again at Sophie and couldn't help but reflect on how her hair had been darkening somewhat and the curls becoming a little more lax and turning into more waves, despite Jeff’s efforts with the hair gel. Sophie was resembling her more and more, and she considered she should take a look at her own four year old picture to compare. It might be kind of eerie.

They were now entering the building, and she noticed various small children congregating with their caregivers in the hallway.

Jeff remarked sardonically, “Nice. It’s a small horde.”

Sophie gazed around in wonder.

_“There’s so many kids. I don’t know them.”_

Jeff crouched down once again, which Annie was grateful for, since it was starting to take her a minute to do so these days. She wondered if she was going to be able to hug Sophie goodbye today, given that she was wearing a short slim skirt and didn’t think she could bend down in it with the baby taking up more room. The thought of that made her want to cry.

Jeff whispered to Sophie, “I know. But you will get to know them. Maybe if you just talk to one kid today, that would help.”

Annie considered how it was kind of like how Jeff had talked to Abed that first day.

Sophie’s eyes widened and she smiled slightly.

_“I make one friend?”_

Jeff nodded. “Yup, and then you’ll see. You’ll start to have a lot of fun. And remember you wanted to learn how to read? I think they’re going to be teaching you some reading.”

He winked at her, and she giggled. He then looked past her at the amassing students and parents.

“Actually, munchkin, I think you do know some of these kids. See, isn’t that Eva over there? And Simon?” He pointed past her.

Equally as surprised as Sophie, Annie turned to see that there were two children standing near their parents and were waving to Sophie. She instantly recognized them as being from swim class, and she felt a wave a relief wash over her, realizing Sophie would have some friends.

It had always been difficult for herself to make friends, given that she had been so fixated on excelling, wanting to answer ever question, striving to win in every playground game. It had kind of sucked the potential joy out of everything.

But Sophie was now seemingly estactic, and they ushered her over to the kids, taking a few moments to reacquaint themselves with Eva and Simon’s respective parents. Annie introduced her mother to them, and it all seemed very friendly.

She tried not to notice the furtive lustful looks from the mothers as they talked to Jeff, but her mother pressed her fingers into her lower back.

With a hiss, she nudged her mother out of listening distance.

“What is it?”

Rachel leaned in and whispered, “You need to keep an eye on things.”

“Mom, please.”

“You did notice? Those women are after your husband.”

Annie rolled her eyes, but pushed down perhaps a hint of bile at the thought. Of course it was ridiculous, since she trusted Jeff, but it was also pretty annoying. She had made a game of it over the summer near the pool, and she liked to think she had put the ladies in their places, clearly claiming him. Now that she knew they’d have to see them more often, perhaps even years if they decided to actually move to Riverside, she didn’t know how to handle the situation. She certainly didn't want to come across as possessive or unfriendly, as she was concerned it would cost Sophie socially.

But it would be kind of intense to see them ogle Jeff and she wondered if any of them would actually dare make a pass at him. She wondered if he would he even tell her if they did.

She felt her mother’s eyes on her, and she realized she had been staring off at Jeff still talking with the mothers, as the one father who had been present was now hunched down with the kids. She smiled tightly.

Her mother hissed, “Don’t let them rope him into any committees without you. Don’t give them a chance.”

“He would never cheat on me, so I’m not worried.”

She hoped she sounded breezy. She was going for breezy. She sensed her mother’s eye roll but didn’t look at her.

“Now sweetie, no man is immune. Your father, for instance.”

Pursing her lips, she whipped around and said in a hushed but slightly louder tone, “We have a rule we don’t talk about Daddy.”

“ _Daddy_ still? Please.”

“Mom.”

Rachel bit her lip and looked down for a few moments before resuming her gaze. She then cracked a smile as she said, “Of course. I was just trying to help, but of course if you wish, I will stay out of it.”

“Thank you.”

 

X

After getting all the kids together and attending the orientation, they allowed Sophie to stay with the other children and waved their goodbyes. To everyone’s relief, she was already gabbing away with Eva and Simon and seemed to be content with the fact that Jeff would be returning at lunchtime.

“It probably reminds her of Greendale. When we’d stop by to get her for lunch.”

“Or study group meetings.”

Annie smirked up at Jeff, and she squeezed his hand.

“I’m really happy you’ll be with her for lunch. And that you can pick her up early today since the first day’s a short one. I’m sorry I can’t.”

“It’s okay. But don’t worry, Sophie and I got this.”

She nodded and was about to say her goodbyes so that she could get to Greendale in time for her first class, when her mother interjected, “Don’t you worry, sweetie. Between the three of us, we will make sure Sophie has an excellent transition to Rodef Sholom. Why, I suggest at least one of us try to make all the parent teacher association meetings. And since I’m on the advisory board, I’ll be at every one. So don’t you worry.”

Annie’s shoulders stiffened and she could imagine Jeff’s expression, so she didn’t even look at him. With a surprising calmness, she turned to her mother and said, “I appreciate you wanting to be involved, but I do think it’s important that either Jeff and I be at the meetings as well.”

With a vigorous nod, Rachel explained, “Yes, that’s what I was saying. At least one of us. But since will attend all of them, if for some reason you two can’t make it, why I’ll just fill you in.”

She considered that perhaps her mother didn’t even want them to attend, and this was her passive aggressive way of going about it. She tried to also consider she might be wrong in that assumption, and decided to treat it at face value.

Again with a even tone, she said, “Thanks mom, but I’m sure we can manage to juggle our schedules and figure it out.”

Her mother smiled tightly for a brief moment and then seemed to considers something before saying, “That would be wonderful, sweetie. But do let me know if there’s ever a time you can’t pick Sophie up, and I’ll make sure Anthony comes over. His high school is down the street.”

“I know. That’s where I went to high school.”

“Of course. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

At that moment she was grateful to Jeff, who leaned in between them, placing hands on the backs of their shoulders.

“Ladies, wow, I think we have everything covered. Sophie’s going to have a great year.”

Rachel grinned and looked up at Jeff with an odd coy expression, and it took Annie a minute to realize that her mother was trying to suppress a likely active urge to flirt.

Why did Jeff have to lean in and use his sexy voice?

Then again he always had a sexy voice.

“Why Jeff, I do believe you’re right. Sophie Ariel Edison, um, Winger, will be very successful here.”

“Mom, I just hope she has fun.”

X

After they returned to their cars and Rachel had driven off, they took a few moments for a hug and then leaned back against the SUV to reflect.

“We’re pretty sure she’s not gonna kidnap her, right?”

“Jeff.”

“Sorry. Crap, I shouldn’t joke about that since we had that awful experience with Abed and the low-speed chase. Annie, I’m sorry, please?”

She startled, realizing that he was eyeing her with a panicked expression, and she also became aware of the fact that she was crying again. With a sniff, she explained, “I’m okay. I was just feeling emotional about our baby’s first day. I hope she makes friends and likes it here.”

He pulled her into a side hug and pressed a kiss on her head. In a low and soothing versus sexy voice, which reminded her that he did have two modes (oh and she supposed sometimes he had authoritative study room shouty), he said, “She’s going to be fine. We saw her talking to some kids already, right?”

“I hope she has fun and doesn’t worry too much about being successful.”

“I’ll make sure to remind her. And I’ve got the special surprise.”

She looked up and felt comforted by his wink.

X

X

It turned out Greendale was the same yet felt a little hollow. Troy and Pierce did their best to rally, but the study table now seemed way too big.

With a heavy sigh, Annie remarked, “Guys, as much as I want us to continue meeting, I’m not so sure we should do it here. There’s way too many empty seats.”

“Yeah, I know, Annie. I’m just kinda sad.”

“Don’t be sad, Troy. Why, I’ve been here twelve years. I’ve seen so many comings and goings, you wouldn’t believe.”

“Yeah, man, but not like this.”

They all frowned and sat in awkward silence, and Annie could feel the tears return.

“Now, Annie, please. Let Grandpa Peas fix this.”

She smiled at his use of the term, but then the tears returned as she remembered that Sophie and Jeff weren’t on campus anymore.

“I don’t know how you can.” Feeling her lip tremble, she added, “Maybe we should go to the cafeteria and see Shirley.”

The chairs instantly squeaked.

“Come on, Annie, let’s go.”

X

It turned out it wasn’t the same in the cafeteria either, although they all cheered up a bit at hearing Shirley berate her worker.

“It mad breakfast out there, today, Shirley!”

“Don’t you test me, Pavel! We went over this! Eggs on top of the ham, which goes on top of the English muffin!”

“It not bread! It not a muffin! There are no blueberries!”

“It’s an English muffin!”

“Sorry to interrupt, but ahem, just because you call it an English muffin doesn’t mean this monstrosity is in any way English.”

Shirley’s eyes swooped toward Ian, who was now standing behind the remainder of the gang at the counter. Annie turned and saw that he was standing there with Ruffles in his arms, her leash wrapped around his wrist.

“Oh, sweetie, I missed you so much.” She began to pet Ruffles under her chin as she heard the soft whine.

Ian nodded and explained, “Ruffles and I were in need of a coffee before first period, and then I thought maybe I’d try a breakfast sandwich, but no, Shirley this will not do. It will not do at all.”

Shirley continued her glare and shoved the plate toward him.

Ian recoiled and smiled politely as he accepted the plate with his free hand. “Well, I suppose I’ve never actually tried an English muffin.”

“You will and you will like it.”

Shirley then turned to the rest of them with a broad smile.

“I am so sor-ry about that. I’m very hap-py to see all of you!”

Troy grinned and bounced a little in his spot. “We missed you! Study group’s not the same.”

“I know, pumpkin, but things change. And you’ll see. This year will still be great.”

“I hope so. But I guess without you, Jeff, Britta, and Abed,” Troy choked down the beginning of a sob before continuing, “and with Annie only being here this semester, I guess I’m worried.”

Pierce cleared his throat. “Now Troy, you’ll have me.”

“I’m _really_ worried, Shirley.”

With a tsking sound and then a swoop of her hands, Shirley proclaimed,

“Enough! You all will get it together and we will all still be friends, but I have a breakfast crowd to attend to.” She indicated with her head over to the quickly amassing line behind them.

They murmured as they headed over to a table, each carrying an au gratis Shirley's Breakfast Muffin with them. Suddenly, Annie remembered Ian and turned back to see him attempting to balance the muffin out of Ruffles’ reach and grab a coffee from the counter. She placed her plate down on the table and handed Troy her backpack before she shuffled over and gracefully took the muffin from Ian’s wobbling hand.

“Thank you.”

“Why don’t you join us?”

She didn’t know why she said it, but it occurred to her that he seemed a little lonely. She was sure he missed Britta, as well as Jeff.

He glanced over at the table to see Troy and Pierce waving awkwardly in their direction.

“Well, I was actually going to grab two coffees, but I suppose I hadn’t thought it through. But now see, maybe if you help me I can take them back…”

“Two coffees?”

“Yes, Buzz.”

“Oh.”

She suddenly felt the blood pumping through her, and recognized a renewed sense of purpose.

No one was going to be lonely today.

She chirped, “I have an idea!”

X

Ten minutes later, they were reassembled in the study room, Ian in Sophie’s spot with Ruffles on his lap, Troy, Pierce, and Annie in their seats, and Buzz directly across from Annie where Britta usually sat.

Annie smiled as she looked around the table. Nodding her approval, she said, “Okay, let’s all eat our breakfast.”

They all murmured and began to dig into Shirley’s muffins. They had the foresight of picking up one for Buzz, too, Shirley charging Ian for both of his despite his protests that he was now a study group member.

Troy remarked through bites, “You know, Professor Duncan, you’re still not a part of the study group. You’re a professor.”

“So am I.”

Hickey growled over at him and then added, “I still don’t know why you invited me. I was just going to have some coffee at my desk, and…” his eyes lit up as he chewed, “Oh my god, this is amazing. You can taste the butter in the egg.”

Troy’s eyes widened as he mumbled, “I know, it’ssmfkgooood.”

“Troy.”

“Sorry, Annie-mom.”

Annie rolled her eyes but then allowed herself to bask in the moment. She didn’t think she had done so badly. Sure, she suddenly realized she was the only woman present, but that was okay. She considered that being viewed as the group mom as well as actually being a mother might be a little taxing, but she was hoping that the presence of two grandfathers might even things out a bit.

 

X

X

 

Jeff approached the school for the second time that day, having stopped by for lunch earlier. It had been an amusing and awkward time, having to hunch down in all of his _gigantic-ness_ as the kids said to eat with the children at the munchkin tables. He was thankful that a teacher provided him with a chair so that he wouldn’t have to try to cram his legs under a bench. As it turned out, he was the only father who made it to lunch, but many of the moms were able to attend, and they were all very friendly.

Against perhaps his better judgment, he agreed to join a committee. Something about organizing sports activities. He was told he’d be good for it since it looked like he was athletic.

Sophie had been happy to see him at lunch, and after a long hug, she prattled on about her morning to him. When he had to leave after a half hour, she didn’t seem to mind that much, which he supposed was a good sign.

He was picking her up slightly early today, as it was only the first day and they just wanted the kids to get acclimated without having it be too intense. He considered that he was fortunate to have flexibility with his schedule so that he could pop in and out this week. He wouldn't have his exam results back until next week anyway, so he couldn't really do much at the firm at present that needed to be done on a fixed schedule, such as actually do lawyer-work on cases. Plus, Mark and Penelope seemed to have the beginning of things working smoothly.

He waved to Sophie, who instantly ran toward him and he swooped down to envelope her, smelling her hair. He then took a good look at their mini-Annie and gave her a playful tug at the end of one of her long waves.

“How’d it go, munchkin?”

_“I had so much fun, Daddy. We read a story, and the teacher says she’s going to teach us how to read if we want to. I want to, Daddy. I want to read all of the books, just like Mama.”_

He figured now was as good as of time as any to spring the surprise he and Annie had cooked up. With a smirk, he said, “That’s great. And speaking of reading, we need to go to a special place right now.”

_“Special place?”_

He was pretty tickled when she saw that he brought her to the library, and they filled out the information for her to get her first library card. He never really remembered doing that himself as a child, as he hadn’t really been into reading, but Annie had explained to him that it would be a crucial step in her development. He had asked her if she wanted to be there for the big event, but for some reason she was adamant that he do this with Sophie and insisted that it had to be the first day of school.

He hoped Annie was having a good day. So far he had only received one text from her saying that Greendale was ‘great!’.

“So, what do you think, munchkin?”

Sophie was beaming as she held up her laminated card as the librarian looked on with pride.

_“I love it so much. Now I can read all the books.”_

“Maybe we should go pick one or two out? And we can show them to Mama when she gets home.”

Sophie nodded, and he tried his best to find her something appropriate. He thanked god that the librarian was also pretty helpful, and he considered how much he could have probably used a place like this when he was growing up, a place where he could feel safe and just be alone with a good story.

It made him think about his other time in a library, the one with a certain group of misfits. He felt a pang in his chest as he considered that he really missed them. Life on the outside, as great and promising at it was, felt a little bit empty.

As he allowed himself the indulgence of considering a deviation in his afternoon plan, he felt the ring of his phone, and he pulled it out and answered it.

Mark’s voice was frantic on the line.

“Jeff, you need to get back here immediately. I don’t know what to do.”

“Crap, yeah of course. What’s wrong?”

“It’s your weird friend. The one who doesn’t blink. He’s here, and he’s driving me insane.”

 

X

X

 

Jeff swept through the doors of the Greendale Library building, feeling in his element. He had Sophie in his arms and was yanking Abed with his free hand, doing his best to maintain and project an aura of authority.

He could fix this. Abed just needed to be in a safe place, one where he could predict the actions of those around him. One where he wouldn’t have to navigate the pressures of working with people who didn’t understand him.

Sure, he had kind of lost it when he returned to the firm of Riverside Family Law and found Abed pacing in the outer area, ranting something about lighting and the color of Penelope’s jacket. Mark had been screaming, and Penelope lay forehead down on her desk emitting a moan.

It had taken a few minutes to clear up the reason for Abed being there in the first place, given that everyone thought he was in Denver for the day, per usual. It turned out Abed had been fired from his position at Holly’s company after being kind of shouty about his vision for the next billion dollar social media app. Holly had tried to help him understand that he was actually working on a job networking media site, but then things escalated. Abed had returned to the apartment and, at remembering that Troy and Britta had both gone to their respective schools for the day, immediately went to Riverside Family Law with the intent of helping Jeff film a commercial.

Abed had calmed down at the sight of Sophie, and after their reunion, Jeff coaxed Sophie off with Penelope and Mark to the back office so that he could get to the bottom of Abed’s troubles, something he knew might take a minute. As they talked, he offered to actually have Abed help them make a commercial at some point, and after getting his hopes up that Abed would be all better since he had a sense of purpose, Abed threw in his opposition to the phone number, and it all went to hell.

So Greendale it was.

_“I can’t wait to see Mama. She’s going to be so surprised!”_

He gave Sophie a kiss on the cheek and continued the haul as he mumbled, “Oh, yes, I’m sure she will be.”

He knew he needed to get Abed to the study room first, before he rounded up Annie, Troy, and Pierce. He might even try to find Shirley if it were possible. Anything to make him feel like things were back to normal.

This was for Abed.

Upon entering the study room, he practically gasped, which for him consisted of raising his brows with his mouth slightly open. There sitting around the table were, Ian, Annie, Shirley, Pierce, Troy, and Buzz. He wondered if he had stroked out.

“Oh my goodness! Hi!” Annie squealed and scooted her chair back before she somewhat slowly stood and then shuffled over to them. Sophie reached for her, and Jeff held back a second, due to his recent concern over Annie carrying Sophie. Annie arched a brow and took her anyway, hosting her to her side and giving her a big kiss on the cheek.

“I had no idea you were coming to campus! Did you have a great day?” She carried Sophie over to the table, and with Shirley’s help, managed to sit back down and return Sophie to her lap.

Sophie shifted awkwardly in the limited room in front of the bump and replied, _“Yeah, it was so much fun, Mama. I made friends, and we read a story and played on the playground and then Daddy took me to the library and I got my own library card.”_ She pulled out a card from her pocket and held it up.

“Awww, that’s so amazing. I’m proud of you.”

_“We got some books to read tonight too. Will you help me read them?”_

“Of course, sweetie.”

“Ahem. What the hell?”

Jeff had had enough, as no one was yet explaining the situation to him. He had been staring around the table at the smiling faces and felt Abed tug himself free from his grasp so that he could bound over to his usual spot and plop down, giving Troy the handshake before doing so.

Annie smiled over at him and replied excitedly, “We have the group back together! And I added some new members! Oh, but don’t worry, I didn’t let anyone take your seat.” She indicated with her head toward the empty chair.

He smirked as he regarded them all for a moment, once again feeling in his element. He sat down and could almost sense the chair still molded to his form.

This was nice.

“Dude! I’m so happy to see you! But aren’t you supposed to be at work?” Troy continued to stare at Abed in disbelief.

Abed shrugged. “I suppose I should catch you all up. It didn’t work out with my job in Denver, so I decided to help Jeff and Mark make a commercial for their new firm, but alas due to creative differences, meaning Jeff is _wrong_ , we decided to part ways. Jeff then yelled at me and made me come back.” He paused before adding, “Thanks, Jeff.”

“No problem, buddy.”

Shirley was now eyeing Abed with concern. She cleared her throat and said, “Abed, what are you going to do for work?”

“I don’t know.”

She pursed her lips in thought.

Jeff asked, “Shirley, aren’t you supposed to be running your sandwich shop?’

She grinned and swatted the air as she replied, “Oh, I was, I mean I am. It’s just that An-nie invited me to join the group, as it was seriously imbalanced when it came to gender…”

\--”I’m not a toxically masculine person, Shirley.”

“I know, Troy, but still. So, Jeff, anyway, An-nie asked me to join the committee, and why, I thought I could spare an hour a couple times a week. Pavel has the shop covered.”

“Committee?”

Annie nodded. “It’s so amazing, Jeff! The Dean explained that Greendale has some maintenance issues, things that need fixing up, sprucing up, you know, make Greendale beautiful again, and I thought we could have a committee to look into these things. Between all of us, we can divvy up the tasks into projects and we can make a difference!”

He considered this for a moment and once again glanced around the table at what he realized were happy and eager faces, exception being Buzz who looked permanently constipated. But even there was a hint of a wry smile.

He leaned back in his chair, noticing the familiarity of the creak and as he said, “I notice you don’t have a leader.”

Her eyes in a gleam, Annie exchanged looks with the other members and then said, “We actually could really use someone to lead us. A solid commanding presence would be very helpful.” She then batted her lashes.

Trying to suppress his smile, he nodded his acquiescence, and everyone clapped. But of course he knew Annie could handle the committee herself. She was a great leader in her own right, but he supposed that wasn’t really the point.

She had left the chair open for him. Maybe she sensed he’d come back. Maybe she was going to invite him later. He didn’t really know, and he didn’t really care. The chair was empty and here he was.

Just like old times. He leaned over and took Ruffles from Ian, and gave her a vigorous pet.

At that moment, Britta burst in, her hair sticking out in various directions as she slammed her backpack on the ground.

“God! I’m so glad to be back, you have no idea!”

“Britta?” Ian had turned and was staring at her with a look of genuine confusion, and Jeff realized that he hadn’t invited her.

She was now seeming to come to her senses from her whirlwind haze and eyed Buzz in her seat. She shooed at him and with a groan he stood and indicated toward it.

She plopped down and exclaimed, “It’s so good to see you guys. I’ve had a crazy day at psych school. It was pretty intense, but I think it’ll be great. But it’s hard, you know?”

Ian cleared his throat and asked, “It’s good to see you as well. How did you know we were meeting?”

She smiled and turned toward Abed.

“I texted her once I figure out we were repiloting.”

Jeff sighed and asked, “Repiloting?”

With the classic tilt of his head, Abed explained, “Yes. Our first episode was in this room, around this table. This is where we became a family. It wouldn’t be right for Britta to not be included, even if she does hog the bathroom in the mornings.”

Britta scowled over at him but then lifted her nose and turned haughtily back to the group. She said, “See, I’m wanted here. I’m needed. Abed explained in his text you need to beautify Greendale. Count me in!”

_“Yay, Tit-ta!”_

Abed frowned and then said, “But upon reflection, I’m not so sure we need to repilot. We’ve all pretty much stayed in touch, even if I did have my hijinks in Denver. Boy, did I have my hijinks.” He shook his head and let out a low whistle before he continued, “But I digress. Shows, especially if they’ve been on a long time, have some creaks. They need to evolve, adapt, grow. Either that or they get canceled. Sometimes they get picked up again but it’s never the same. And then it’s awkward. I vote we don’t get canceled.”

Jeff nodded. “Right, buddy.”

Shirley, who had been staring at Abed with concern for the past several minutes, placed her interlaced hands in front of her purse and said, “Abed, honey, would you like to work for me in my sandwich shop? I could really use the help. Pavel has classes, so he can’t be there all the time.”

There was the faintest hint of a smile as Abed replied, “Why yes, Shirley, that would be acceptable. This way, I could be at Greendale every day.”

“Great, pumpkin.”

Surveying the table, Jeff exclaimed, “So, Committee? Committee? Committee?”

Everyone nodded, laughter echoing through the room.

Buzz wearily pulled up an extra chair in between Shirley and Pierce, and Abed glanced between the two older men with suspicion. As he started to open his mouth, Troy placed his hand over it.

Annie chirped, “Beautify Greendale Committee it is! We meet twice a week, agendas to be posted tonight!”

The laughter continued to echo through the halls, and the Dean leaned against the outer glass door, his hand pressed against his chest.

“My babies. They’re home.”

He felt a nudge against his elbow and looked down to see Kevin Chang staring up at him.

“Can I join the committee too? I want to beautify Greendale.”

“Now how on earth did you hear about the committee?”

“I lurk in places. I hear things. Did I mention I lurk?”

The Dean narrowed his eyes and shook his head. “The committee’s full, I’m afraid. Why, we don’t even have enough chairs.” More to himself than anyone he added in a whisper, “I hope it’s not going to turn into a problem.”

Kevin sighed wistfully as he pulled on the straps of his backpack, having just returned from his Spanish class. He said, “Well, if any of the committee members drop dead, count me in.”

“Now, Kevin, what a ghastly thing to say!”

  
  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	16. Economics of Design

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff and Annie get creative

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More sexy times. I try to be classy, but you know. Eh.

 

Jeff was relieved they made it through he high holidays at Rachel’s house. Not that it was unpleasant, but time with her was always a little bit strained, even if Sophie’s delightful presence tended to perk everyone up a bit. He continued to marvel at how good Anthony was with her, especially now that he had returned from California and seemed more self-assured. He supposed it was due to the time away from his mother, and while he initially feared Anthony would clash even more with Rachel upon his return, fortunately that hadn’t seemed to be the the case. Rachel appeared to be allowing Anthony some more independence, and he was more polite in return. The whole situation was still new, but Annie was very happy about the change, sharing with him how much she was thankful that her brother would perhaps have a different experience with their mother.

Sophie loved Rachel's indulgences in celebrating, as Rachel took extra care to be enthusiastic and involved Sophie’s stuffed animals in a description of historical events. Although Annie had an urge to intervene and explain to her mother that Sophie couldn’t understand some of what she was saying, she ended up relaxing and focusing on reuniting with her brother rather than in trying to control things.

Although Anthony seemed happy to see them again, Jeff couldn't help but notice his long stares at Annie’s midsection. He supposed it had been a while, and it was likely a shock to suddenly see the transformation.

When they had gotten home after Rosh Hashanah, the baby had finally kicked for him, and that moment had been pretty much Jeff’s celebration of the high holidays.

 

X

He passed the bar. Annie took him out to celebrate and the Beautify Greendale Committee of course found out and surprised him in the study room with a big cake, but it wasn’t a big deal. So what if he was a lawyer again.

(He was a lawyer again. Boo yah.)

Did he mention that the baby had kicked and that he had felt it?

 

X

Annie’s third trimester began shortly after Yom Kippur, and it was kind of freaking him out. She was getting tired again, and he wasn’t sure if it was from juggling her work and class schedule or the mischief-maker inside of her.

“As much as I love you, maybe take it easy on your mother.”

“Jeff.”

He felt her eyes on him and lifted his head from her belly, meeting her gaze from up near the pillows on their bed. With a smirk, he said, “I know it’s important that they flail about in there, but that last one was crazy. Admit it, that must have hurt.”

She smiled slightly, and he wasn’t sure if it was due to wincing in pain or if she was actually finding this amusing.

“It didn’t hurt.”

“Are you sure?”

“They’re just really active tonight.”

He sighed and resumed his position, pressing play on the ipod so that they could continue with the classical music. As much as he really wasn’t a fan, Annie insisted that this would help them feel soothed and also be good for their intelligence. He wasn’t one to argue about the subject, as she said she did the same with Sophie, and Sophie was well, Sophie. She was amazing.

And Annie was pretty amazing too. He so wanted to be with her right now, but she had been going to sleep earlier over the past couple weeks and had stopped hounding him for sex. Not that he could figure out what they were going to do about that situation, as the bump was expanding and he was starting to think the sexy times might have to wait. Perhaps Rachel was right in her insistence that she didn’t think Annie was going to make it to forty weeks and the giant baby would be early.

The doctor had said the baby was normal sized, but he knew better. What had he done to her?

“Jeff, I think we can stop after this song.”

“Okay.”

Once he returned to her side, he kept his hand on her abdomen and allowed her to nuzzle into his chest. They were both relishing the fact that Sophie and Ruffles were in bed and Annie had finished her Witness Preparation homework for tomorrow.

“You wanna watch something?” He indicated with his head toward the television. Although they rarely watched anything in their bedroom, with Annie being tired lately that’s what they had settled on so that she wouldn’t have to rouse herself from the couch once she dozed off. He’d often end up reading something on his phone in the dark after she fell asleep, as he wanted to still be with her yet it was too early for him to nod off.

She shook her head into his chest in response.

“You want me to turn out the light?”

Once again she didn’t utter a sound but began to trace patterns on his chest, over his light grey t-shirt. This amused him greatly, as he knew this was code for sex-me-up times. His nipples stiffened and he felt a zap of electricity.

“Really?”

She mused, “I’m not that tired right now. We could take advantage of it.”

With a growl, he shifted and began kissing her neck, and she laughed, taking a moment to regard the closed bedroom door before more actively exploring the waistband of his pajama pants. He just about died when she tickled him just under the elastic.

He was surprised she had the energy but decided to just go with it. There was no telling how many times they could continue to do this. He made a mental note to perhaps talk to her about the situation when they weren’t in the heat of the moment, as he wanted to make sure they were in agreement and that he knew what they could and couldn’t do. He hadn’t really gotten that far in the pregnancy book, as it had been a busy couple weeks at the new firm with the Pierce situation and all.

He needed to do something about that, but now was not the time to think of Pierce.

As they made out, it occurred to him that things were becoming a bit more awkward, physically. This was confirmed when she attempted to roll on top of him and they both realized it wasn’t going to work.

With a frantic pout, if such a thing were possible, she murmured, “We’ll figure this out.”

He gently rolled her to the side, and she let out an impatient huff. It was kind of a sucky situation to be sure, as they were both horny as hell.

He needed to fix this, and something he had never dared bring up was his only option. It might be incredibly hot, or she might freak out and get defensive, but he had to try.

With a playful tone, he asked, “You want me to get a little something from your drawer?”

She gasped and swatted him.

“How do you…?”

“Annie, there’s no use in hiding that from me. We both know you lived above Dildopolis for two years. And you were dating yours truly for only like half that time, so how else were you able to resist me?”

“You’ve gone through my things?”

“Well no actually, but it was a lucky guess.”

Another swat hit him, and he chuckled.

“Yes, please.”

He raised his brows in response and at her insistent embarrassed yet now determined glare, jumped up from the bed and made his way to her drawer. With efficiency, he felt around, and just under her rolled up socks, he located a small cloth bag. He held it up with a questioning look, and she nodded with wide eyes.

Sliding back onto the mattress, he gingerly pulled open the bag to reveal a small wand-like item. Seeing it was actually pretty strange, as while he always assumed she had one, he hadn’t pictured what it would actually look like. But this was perfect.

Of course it was purple.

And honestly he didn’t know how he’d feel if it had turned out to be gigantic. He contented himself now with the fact that he alone could fill her up while also reminding himself that she needed a lot of external stimulation. He wondered how often she used this, and given their usual busy schedules, he assumed it was something that would get her off fairly quickly. He took a peek at the side of it and saw that it had a battery compartment. Judging by the weight, it was fully loaded.

Good ol’ Annie Edison-Winger. Always prepared.

With a smirk of satisfaction, he leaned in for a kiss, and he felt her furious hands near his stubble and then moving down toward his pants. He shooed her away from that area, hard enough as he was already.

“You can turn it on.”

“Yes, milady.”

Well, it was about time they incorporated items into their sexy times. He hadn’t been that eager to bring it up, figuring she’d demurely refuse and their times together were already pretty hot, so it wasn’t absolutely necessary. Still, he had been curious to know what Annie would be like with a dildo.

What he could do to her with it.

He kissed his way down and began pleasuring her with his mouth, flicking on the device to reveal a low buzzing as he began to get her more worked up. He then used it to replace his tongue, and he felt her instantly twitch in a way that usually happened later.

It was amazingly hot.

“Jeeefff.”

With increasing fascination, he experimented with location and pressure, just about doing her in before he slipped it inside just a little, wondering what would happen with the vibrations, even if it didn’t fill her like he could.

“Oh!”

“Good?”

“Yes! Keep it there!”

“Absolutely.”

He worked it back and forth, using his fingers to replace the external sensations, perhaps irrationally wondering if they were anything compared to the battery powered wonder. He had used toys before on partners, but not in awhile. And never with anyone he cared for nearly as much as Annie. The pleasure he was bringing to her, when she was in such discomfort lately, made him proud.

It was the least he could do for knocking her up.

“Oh god!”

He continued, by now rubbing himself against the mattress. This time he told himself it might be okay if he finished there. Going by her throws of ecstasy at present, she probably wouldn’t notice.

And he needed to get off or he might die.

At her muffled shriek, for she had grabbed his pillow and smacked it over her face, he removed the pulsating purple!jeff! and turned it off. Watching her rolls of bliss, he inched his way up and leaned over to carefully place his new friend on the nightstand.

He reached down to stroke himself, but was stopped by her hand, as she gasped with eyes still closed, “No, I’ll….” She panted before she continued, “Please.”

“Um.”

Her eyes flew open and, with a look of determination she usually reserved for study table squabbles, she barked, “We can figure out a different position.”

He had to admit he was surprised, for he thought she was pretty much satisfied for the night, but then again she often liked to at least go for round two. He had a hunch the first orgasm merely revved her up. She was flushing and sweaty, and he was helpless to say no to her.

“Ideas?”

She nodded decisively. “I was talking to Shir...she stopped and gave an apologetic smile before continuing, “someone, and I heard that the best position for the third trimester is if we…” Her smile transformed into a vixen grin as she turned completely around and reached to pull him to her back.

Suppressing the image of the Bennetts, he eagerly pressed himself closer. She began to stroke him, and figuring this was an odd position for her arm, he eventually nudged it away. Between them and some artful arrangement of pillows, they figured out a way so that he could enter her, and she used her now free hand to rub herself.

It was oddly intimate, even if he couldn’t see her face. Once again, it occurred to him that he had also engaged in this position with other partners on occasion, but it didn’t feel emotionally like this at all. In those circumstances it was a distancing position, one in which he wouldn't be expected to make eye contact and it also provided some alternate intensities of sensations.

But this. He breathed into the back of her neck and heard her giggle, and it drove him wild. Careful to pace himself as well as maintain the depth, he took her instructions and eventually sped up.

The resulting wave of euphoria was almost too much. Almost. He mentally high fived himself, before it occurred to him that he should probably save that for Annie. Of course high fiving one’s sex partner slash wife slash baby mama was probably a bit tacky.

He felt his brain continue to turn to mush and was vaguely aware of Annie now curled up at his side. He peeked to see her smiling triumphantly at him and he chuckled.

She pressed a kiss on his cheek.

“Thank you.”

“No, thank  _ you.” _

He lifted his head so that he could see her more fully, and he noticed a deeping in the pinkness of her cheeks. He supposed she was somewhat embarrassed about the sex toy, and he decided to sweep that nonsense away.

“It really turned me on to turn that on for you.”

She bit her lip in response and winced.

He persisted, “I’m serious. That was so hot. Now that I know about that for sure, I think we should make liberal use of it.”

She groaned and tapped her forehead against his neck and then whispered, “I’d like that.”

Although he was still somewhat in a haze, he was aware of a rush of giddiness in his chest at the prospect. He growled, “I’ll make sure to stock up on batteries.”

“Jeff.”

“Oh, you know you want me to. I’ll get a extra large pack, or perhaps a case.”

With a roll off to the side, she pulled him to her, and they hunkered down for the night.

Unable to resist, he whispered, “AAA? AA?”

“You’re terrible.”

“You already knew that.”

 

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
****

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was a shorter chapter, just something to keep things going before we get to more Lawyer!Jeff. I couldn’t bear to write anything with Pierce in this type of chapter.


	17. Advanced Psychological Insight

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff has some epiphanies

 

After pushing open the double door, Jeff stood just inside the building and closed his eyes. He inhaled, taking in the odor of non-Greendale, for there was not a hint of dusty books or dry erase markers. There was just the modern cool crisp scent of efficiency. Of glamor. Of new beginnings.

Riverside Family Law.

He then smelled the coffee and smiled. Non-burnt, non-over frozen Folgers, and non-saccharine tainted. Freshly ground, just as Mark insisted, the coffee connoisseur he was. He opened his eyes and waltzed past the lounge area down the hall. He rounded the corner and spied the coffee maker with the hissing sound of the water moving through it, indicating a pot was almost ready.

Just as he approached, Mark shuffled in from the opposite corridor and chirped, “Tango! Good morning!” He waived Jeff away from the coffee maker and set to work at staring at it, waiting for it to finish.

Jeff did his best to make use of the moment by getting out two mugs from the cupboard. As he reached for a third, Mark touched his arm to stop him.

“Penelope’s not in yet.”

“Really? She usually beats me here after school drop-off.”

Taking Sophie to preschool had now become much less cumbersome, as she would hug him goodbye and then scamper off to join her friends. It was bittersweet, seeing her grow up, and he missed her a lot and was looking forward to getting her later and taking her back to the office. That was one of the awkward aspects about preschool, the early ending times. So far, Sophie hadn’t minded coming back with him and amusing herself in the play area they had constructed for her under the added benefit that it would also be useful to have a place for clients’ children during office visits. The child area consisted of some munchkin-sized plastic tables and chairs, coloring materials, books, and the holy grail of a television set and dvd player stocked with movies. It was pretty sweet.

He turned his full attentions back to Mark, who was regarding him with an odd expression.

“What?”

Mark shrugged and let out a low whistle, which instantly and eerily matched the coffee machine. He swiftly turned and clicked a button before grabbing the carafe.

As he filled the two mugs, he remarked, “Ahhh, yes, Penelope called and told me she was running late. She was really apologetic, her voice lifting somewhat in that way when people are hiding something.”

Jeff squinted, unsure of where this was going. Penelope was certainly one of the most conscientious people he knew, and he couldn’t imagine what Mark was getting at.

“You know it’s none of our business what she does in her personal life, right?”

Mark shrugged once again as he said with affected nonchalance, “All I’m saying is that I swore I heard a man’s voice in the background.”

“So?”

“She lives with her nana.”

“So?”

“So who is this mysterious man, Jeff? Is it dare I say a paramour?”

He was staring at him and wiggling his eyebrows, and for a scary moment Jeff was reminded of Duncan. But then he managed to toss that thought into a mental compartmentalization bin and rolled his eyes.

“Christ, Mark. Aren’t you supposed to be planning your wedding or something?”

Mark shook his head condescendingly and began to pour an alarming amount of sugar in his coffee.

“I told you, Jenny and I are keeping it simple. Not as simple as you and Annie, of course, but it’ll be smallish, and not until next summer, so…” he grabbed a plastic stirrer and jammed it into his coffee and got to work as he looked up eagerly and continued, “I have plenty of time right now to gossip about Penelope’s love life.”

“I see.”

“Ahem, you don’t have a lot of time. You need to pay more attention to me. After all, I am your only client.”

They both jumped a little and then turned to see Pierce walking toward them, having apparently come in behind Jeff. It was strange, as usually Pierce made more of a ruckus upon arrival, yet he seemed to have intentionally crept in this time.

“Dammit, Pierce.”

“Now Jeff, let’s be nice. Afterall, Mr. Hawthorne is a respected client. And as he mentioned, our only one at present.”

Jeff smiled tightly and then looked back at Pierce, who wore a smug expression and was holding his briefcase aloft.

He announced, “Jeffrey, these are some of my important papers. Wally gave them to me once I explained to him that I needed to transfer them.”

“Aren’t most of your files electronic?”

“That’s what Wally said, but I asked for back-ups. I don’t trust or understand technology.”

Jeff found himself relaxing, which was bizarre considering Pierce was here, yet the familiarity of the old guy filled him with some sense of, he supposed, family. He was Sophie's Grandpa Peas, afterall.

He walked over and took the briefcase from him and motioned him back to his office. Pierce accepted a mug of coffee from Mark and then followed, chattering away.

“So I was talking to A-bed, and he tells me you have a sequel.”

“Right, I guess I do.”

“He says he hopes this means you don’t spin-off. I’m not sure exactly what he’s talking about, since you are part of the Beautify Greendale Committee, but given that I lead it, I could see where you might feel you’re no longer wanted and want to concentrate your efforts here.”

Jeff stopped in the hallway and turned around. Pierce was staring at him with his mouth slightly open and his eyes glistening.

Taking a moment for a weary sigh, he then said, “Pierce, I am planning to handle both the committee and my role in this office. My role as your lawyer.” He gestured toward the briefcase, and Pierce nodded.

They made their way to his office, and Jeff sat down behind his desk, and Pierce proceeded to make himself comfortable in a recliner that Jeff had obtained explicitly for people like Pierce.

They had been through this for the past couple weeks, Pierce showing up unexpectedly in what Jeff was starting to suspect was part inspection of the new firm and at reassurance-seeking. Each time he had brought a new briefcase, and Jeff had asked the same question about the files. If it hadn’t been so sad, he’d have but the kibosh on it.

Of course once he told Annie how things usually went, she was adamant that he should play along. She mentioned how sad Pierce seemed to be when Jeff wasn't on campus, plus he had apparently been withdrawing more from her and Troy.

Something was up with Pierce, and Jeff wasn’t sure if he really wanted to know. But he couldn’t just kick the guy out, as he was paying Penelope’s salary.

He opened up the briefcase to reveal a few papers. This time they seemed to be drafts of a will. With a feeling of apprehension, Jeff scanned through them.

“What the hell, Pierce?”

“I just want to make sure everything’s in order, just err, in case.”

“You’re leaving everything to Troy?”

“And the mansion to Gilbert. The study group gets some various momentos…”

\--”I see that. Again, Troy. What the hell?”

He looked over at Pierce, who was crossing his hands awkwardly over his stomach with his feet propped up as he rested almost recumbent in the recliner. He was averting eye contact, which Jeff knew was not a good sign.

“Is this about sticking it to Abed?”

Pierce chuckled maniacally, and Jeff knew he was on the right track.

“Pierce.”

He instantly snapped, “A-bed took Troy from me. We were best buddies and he ruined it.”

Jeff groaned and slid the papers to the side. With as neutral of an expression as he could muster, he said, “I know that was hard, but Troy moved out two years ago. And he’s still your friend.”

“Like hell he is, Jeffrey. In fact, lately he’s been avoiding me after our Origami class. We decided to take it together, without Annie since she already took it. But when I try to follow up about doing our folding homework together, he says he needs to go, saying he has a date, and then he rushes off. Well, between you and me, we know Troy doesn’t date anyone except A-bed, or whatever it is you call their weird relationship. And now I have papercuts!”  He held up his hands to reveal various scabs, one Jeff was pretty sure was actually still bleeding.

“Christ, Pierce.” Jeff reached into his drawer to pull out a first aid kit which he kept for munchkin emergencies. He grabbed some bandages and ointment, tossing them over to a grateful Pierce.

As he began to bandage himself up, Pierce explained, “All I’m saying is that if something should happen to me, I want Troy to be able to get away from A-bed. Why, that boy should have fun. In fact, he reminds me of a young me.”

Jeff nodded with pursed lips and opened his laptop, logging in to view Pierce’s files. He spied the one marked “Will and Testament,” and opened it. He needed to make sure the file matched the paper document, as he suspected Pierce had just done this on pure hatred instinct last night.

To his surprise, the documents did match, and he noted the last revision on the electronic one was completed by Wally Stone on July 5th.

“You’ve been planning this for awhile.”

“Of course.”

“Are you ill?”

He kept his eyes on the screen but waited, and with each moment of deafening silence his chest tightened further. Pierce making a will, one that got at all his pettiness, was alarming, and the guy was old. Going by his mutilated hands, he also wasn’t so good at taking care of himself. He figured his heart was likely not in the best shape.

“Now, Jeffrey, I’m fine.”

“Fine or fyne?”

“I don’t understand.”

They were interrupted by a knock, and Jeff knew it was Penelope before he looked up. He had kept the door open, as he hadn’t wanted to be in a closed room with Pierce. Before their conversation had taken this turn, he hadn’t anticipated they would have been discussing anything remotely sensitive.

Penelope smiled guiltily at him and said, “Morning, Jeff, Mr. Hawthorne. I’m so sorry I was tardy.”

“I don’t care. I’m just happy everything's okay.” Jeff shrugged and gave her a look he hoped conveyed she really didn’t need to make a fuss. Just because he was her boss, he didn’t really view her as that much of a subordinate. Afterall, he and Mark had plans for her, and she was aware of that.

“Penny, dear. It is very good to see you.”

She nodded at Pierce and then the guilty expression resumed, and she said, “Jeff, there’s someone here to see you. I told her you were in a meeting, but she insisted.”

“Who?”

“Your mother.”

 

X

X

Jeff greeted his mom in the reception area, and she pulled him into warm embrace. She was dressed in a skirt suit and seemed pleased to see him, not full of any upset or angst.

As they pulled apart, he asked, “Mom, why are here?”

Her eyes swept the room. “I wanted to see where you set up your very own firm, and I wanted to take you to lunch to celebrate that you’re officially a lawyer again.”

Her eyes landed back on him, and he felt the judgment. He had been a pretty crappy son lately, as he knew she had wanted to see the firm and to mark him passing the bar, but for some reason he hadn’t wanted her to make fuss about it, so he had been avoiding her again. He had lied to her enough years about being a lawyer as it was, and he could never undo that damage. Part of him felt no one should celebrate him these days, for he was merely going about things the correct way this time.

But looking into her eyes, he knew she disagreed.

He managed, “Mom, I’m sorry, but I didn’t want to make a big deal about anything. I haven’t even let Annie take me out to dinner.”

She shook her head and remarked, “Yes, she told me. Such a shame. Well, that’s why I just showed up.”

“Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”

“I asked for the day off, to spend with my son.”

“Mom.”

“Dear.”

“I’m working, in fact, I have a client in my office.”

“Annie told me it’s just Pierce, and at any rate, don’t mind me. I’ll wait in reception, and you can have your meeting. Then I’d like a tour of this place, and then we’ll head out to lunch.”

“It’s nine thirty.”

“Early lunch, dear. Annie tells me you need to pick up Sophie at two thirty. I’ll take her off your hands, and then you can get as much work done as you wish, which Annie tells me is not a lot at present, given that you only have one client. But please don’t misunderstand me. I know you’ll be very successful. I would just like to take advantage of this lull period to have some time with you.”

With a groan, Jeff found himself acquiesting. He made a note to talk to Annie when she got home. It seemed she had been pretty busy in setting up the ambush.

 

X

X

“Jeffrey, I also need you to move some things over to the Philippines for me. It’s no big deal, just I have a great-nephew I’d like to send some things to. His name is Archibald Hawthorne, and he’s a bit hard up, you see.”

Jeff squinted at Pierce from across the desk, and he had the feeling he was missing something.

“Pierce, are you trying to deflect from my questions about your health?”

With a dismissive wave, Pierce replied, “Nonsense. I am perfectly healthy. Sure, I may have some phlegm here and there and be a little out of breath with exertion, and some muscle tightness, but I’m fine. Now, my great-nephew, who I know I have never before spoken of but that’s because we were enemies. I have forgiven him, and I’d like to send him some funds.”

“Your great-nephew isn't in your will.”

“That’s because I plan on sending some money and assets his way before  I die. No need to involve him after that.”

“Fine, but you’ll have to pay a shitload in gift taxes.”

“Crap. Fine. Put him in my will too, but can I send him a few thousand right now?”

“Up to ten thousand per year before the extra taxes.”

“Excellent.”

Pierce rose, indicating he was done for the day, likely planning on returning to Greendale. As he exited, Jeff called out, “And please get a physical ASAP!”

“Will do, Jeffrey. Oh, and next time we meet, I’d like to discuss my boat. There’s some very specific instructions I’d like to leave Troy.”

Jeff waved half-heartedly after him as he continued to peruse the Hawthorne computer files. He spotted a folder labeled Archibald and frowned. As he moved the cursor to select it, he heard Penelope’s unmistakable throat-clearing from the doorway.

He looked up to see her regarding him with that same damn expression.

“What is it?”

“Jeff, I was noticing it seems really hot in here today, doesn’t it?”

He took a minute and considered the question. Now that Pierce was gone, he became aware that it did seem very warm. He could have sworn the air was crisp when he entered earlier, but this was a definite change.

“You’re right, it is.”

“Would you mind if I called an air conditioning repairman?”

“Yeah, that’s fine.” He suddenly felt a little strange, once again as if he were missing something, but his eyes kept shifting back to the Archibald icon on his computer.

“Jeff?”

“Um, sorry, yeah?”

“Your mother is waiting. Maybe you should give her a tour and then go to lunch? We’ll be okay here. Mark’s setting up the meeting with Hastings for tomorrow, so it would actually be a really good time for you to not be here.”

At her wording, he tilted his head and frowned. “Not be here?”

With instant mortification, she squeaked, “Oh, I’m sorry! I didn’t mean it like that! I meant pop in and out!”

He chuckled, noticing her spastic demeanor, for she had to know he really wasn’t upset. They had always had a solid working relationship, and he was thrilled to have her here.

He said, “Penelope, please don’t worry. I’m not mad.” He closed his laptop and stood, “You’re right, I should probably give my mom the tour. Feel free to call a repairman, and you can run anything you need to past Mark. Speaking of, what’s he up to?”

Now visibly relaxing, Penelope smiled. “He’s looking through his wedding binder. It’s damn precious.”

 

X

X

After the tour, his mother’s effusive proclamations of the space, and chit-chat with Mark and Penelope, Jeff escorted his mom from the building and they went to his Lexus.

As she buckled in, she glanced in back and remarked, “You know, it’s going to get snug back there with two carseats.”

“Sophie can probably move to a booster seat soon.”

“Still dear, booster seats take up a bit of room.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes, dear. Why, I’m not sure if you’ll be able to fit little Ruffles in here too.”

He smirked as he started the engine. “That’s not a problem, as Ruffles is rarely in this car. I don’t want her fur getting everywhere. She rides in Annie’s car, and I suspect the baby will mostly be in that one too.”

She nodded her comprehension. “How is Annie doing? She sounds tired.”

He shifted into reverse and pulled back, taking a moment to adjust before shifting into gear and making for the parking lot exit.

He sighed, “I don’t know how she does it, with school and work and gestating a fetus. Yeah, she’s tired. But I’m trying to let her go to bed early these days. I’m hoping she’ll get a second wind like she did before.”

“I doubt it, dear. She’ll be giving birth to a baby in a few weeks.”

“A few months.”

“No, a few weeks, Jeffrey. That baby will be here before you know it. Speaking of, Britta tells me she’s going to throw a baby shower with Nancy. I told her they can have it at my house, since there’s more room, and speaking of room…”

\--”Mom.”

 

X

X

They arrived at Cafe Sunrise, a small place near the office. It was the only spot in the area that offered an extensive brunch/early lunch on a weekday, and it was a colorful yellow and light blue design on the walls that he knew his mom would like.

“Jeffrey, this is such a cute place.”

He smiled and pushed in her chair before taking a seat opposite her. They ordered coffee from the server before they began to peruse the menu.

“My son, a lawyer.”

“Mom.”

He felt her beaming eyes on him, and he reluctantly looked up. She was grinning, and he felt like a jackass. He placed his menu down and said, “I’m sorry.”

“It’s fine, dear. I understand. But please know, I’m so very proud of you.”

“Thanks.”

“And Annie is proud of you, too. We wish you’d let us throw you more of a celebration.”

“The Beautify Greendale Committee already made me cake.”

“I know. Buzz told me.”

At the mention of Buzz, he felt something shift in his chest. They hadn’t spoken much about things in that domain lately, but he had been getting to know the guy more in the past few weeks. So far he had seemed to be decent and pretty resourceful. He had helped Annie fix a cork board in the cafeteria, and from what Annie had told him, it was a crazy Greendale adventure. The fact that he had ended up fixing the board himself actually made Jeff feel more confident that perhaps for a change his mother wasn’t dating a loser.

They ordered their meals, and then he decided to get it over with.

“How are things with Buzz? He’s been really helpful on our new committee.”

She reddened slightly and took a moment to compose herself before replying, “Oh, everything is just fine, dear. He treats me very well.”

“I’m glad to hear that. Annie would like it if you two came over for dinner sometime soon before things get too crazy.” He added for emphasis, “Not to celebrate me but for us all to just hang out. He’s important to her and to you, and you’re important to me, so well, I suppose he will end up being important to me too.”

He watched for a reaction, but she was stoic.

“Dinner sounds nice, dear, but let’s not get too hasty in talking about importance. Buzz and I are merely dating. While I appreciate you have a separate relationship with him at Greendale, I in no way want to mislead you that he and I are serious.”

Once again, he felt blocked by her. She was so darn nosey about his life yet she kept hers fairly private.

He blurted, “He built Sophie a treehouse.”

She tilted her head and regarded him with steely eyes.

“That was a very nice thing for him to do, but it certainly doesn’t mean anything about the status of our relationship or any future.”

“He’s been married like twenty times. I’m sure he’s asked you?”

At this, he knew he had gone too far. She pursed her lips and her chest puffed in indignation.

“Jeffrey, that is none of your business.”

“So he has?”

“I’m not getting married again, and I’ve told him that.”

He nodded slowly and accepted a refill on his coffee from the server, as he had slurped his down already. Of course he and his mother had had similar conversations, but that was earlier and now he had more information from Annie, such as the fact that Buzz and his mother were spending more time with Furio Hickey and his husband and that his mother was at times picking Buzz up from campus after work. His mother lived an hour away, so that got him thinking that things were progressing.

He cleared his throat and was about to ask the question that was on his mind when the server arrived with their food. There were some awkward moments as the plates were presented and napkins and utensils dispersed before they were once again left to themselves.

After trying her omelette and exclaiming its deliciousness, his mother ventured, “So dear, the baby’s coming soon, and you’ll be needing some more room, won’t you? Have you given more thought to my suggestion?”

He inwardly cringed, for he had been also attempting to avoid this particular subject. He wondered if she had been working Annie on it, but to Annie’s credit, she hadn’t mentioned it to him so he was pretty sure she also thought it was a bad idea.

He sighed, “Mom, I know you want us close, but I don’t think living next door would be the best idea. First of all, it’s a house, and I’m just starting up my firm so I can’t put a down payment…”

\--”Maybelle says she’d rent to you until you were able to buy it. Isn’t that a great idea?”

Her elbows were now perched on the table, and her chin cradled in her hands. He was struck by annoyance yet a strong urge to pull her into a hug for some reason.

“That’s very generous of her, but I’m actually starting to think we should get a place in Riverside.”

Her face instantly fell, and she moved her hands back to her lap.

“I see.”

He explained, “Sophie’s making friends at preschool, and we want her to be able to stay with the same bunch of kids and most of them will end up in the Riverside school district.”

She picked up her fork and began poking at her omelette as she said, “I suppose that makes sense, but children her age are very adaptable.”

“No, actually she’s pretty sensitive. You know that. It’ll be better for her if we don’t disrupt her life too much. I want her to know exactly what to expect and know that she’s safe.”

“What is this really about, Jeffrey? You don’t want to be my neighbor?”

He took a deep breath and decided that he had two courses of action before him. Continue to lie (sort of) or come clean. His mother was sharp, so she already knew. But he wasn’t sure how to explain it without destroying her.

He decided.

“No, I don’t. It won’t be good for our relationship.”

“How on earth do you mean? I would be so helpful. And you won't have to worry about me intruding, really. I promise.”

“That’s not it, it’s just…” He felt his stomach twisting in knots. Part of him believed her that she’d try to be respectful and give them privacy. Having her be an extra set of hands, especially with the new baby, was actually a comforting thought. He considered many parents would be thrilled to have the free help.

Sophie would feel safe with her Grandma Dorie.

The knot transformed into a stabbing sensation, and he almost panicked at the thought that he was going to lose his breath.

“Jeffrey, are you okay?”

He looked back up at her, for he just realized he had been staring at his plate. The concern in her eyes was evident, yet once again he had an odd sensation.

He didn’t feel safe. He had never felt safe in her home, and the thought of living next to it for the next thirty years made him feel like he was going to die.

With a shaky voice, he managed, “Mom, I can’t live next door to that house. Please.”

At his admission, her eyes widened. She dropped her fork, and it clattered against the side of the plate.

“You bought me that house.”

“Because you wanted to stay there, not because I did.”

He gave her what he hoped was a plaintive look, and it fully hit him in this moment why being around her was so difficult sometimes. He knew she loved him but she had failed him, and as good as their relationship was now and he had to admit it really was, he could never forget the horrors of being in that house. He couldn’t imagine letting anything like that happen to his own children.

Let it happen. He supposed he was victim blaming, and that's why he kept his thoughts to himself. But it was an emotional reaction, and he couldn’t reason himself out of the constriction he instinctively felt when he was in certain places of her home, when he saw her reach for Sophie’s hand in that way she’d do when she was trying to reassure him after she had been beaten by his father.

The time she had coaxed him out from his bedroom after his father had beat him.

She was crying softly now, and he was aware that eyes were on them in the cafe. As she dabbed her eyes with a napkin, she managed, “I’m so sorry, Jeffrey.”

“I know.”

Her lips now trembling, she pushed her plate to the side and said, “I can’t believe I didn’t realize how terrible it might be for you to live there.”

“Well, just because Buzz drywalls over the closet doesn’t mean I wasn’t abused there. That you weren’t. Mom, I know it’s been important for you to stay there, but Jesus.”

She took a few moments to gulp down some sobs.

“Jeffrey, I don’t know what to do.”

“There’s nothing to do. I’m not moving next door, and you’ll have to accept that.”

She nodded and said quickly, “I understand now. Really. But it kills me that you feel so uncomfortable in my house. I thought things were better now, now that we’ve made it a happy home. With my pets and with Annie and Sophie, and even your friends when they’ve visited.”

“Nope, sorry. Annie loves your home and feels comfortable, but not me. I go there for you, to see you, because I love you.”

He stared intently at her, and she was eerily still for a little while.

Finally, she broke the silence.

“I don’t know what to do.”

“You already said that. There’s nothing to do. I’ve just told you how I really feel, and you’ll have to accept it.”

“I don’t know if I even want to stay in the house, dear. I wanted it to be my place to brush clean, to be restored, but if my son is tortured by it, then…”

\--”Mom.”

“Maybe it’s time I moved and started over for real.”

 

X

X

They spent the drive to the mall in silence, and he suspected they both were choking back some sobs. But he knew how to spend a day with his mother, and that was shopping.

She had style, and she had imparted that on him.

They managed to cheer themselves up with a few dashes through the boutique department store, and in the end they didn’t really buy anything, but it was fun.

They ended up at a baby store, and Jeff did his best to allow his mother to ooh and ahh over the little items. He knew she was looking for presents for the baby, and he strongly suspected she had stocked up on some things by now.

“Isn’t this just adorable, dear? Look at the stripes.”

“Yeah.”

He considered his mother would be awesome with the new baby. Newborns still terrified him, and he maybe wanted her to move in with them for awhile.

Crap, now he was going the opposite way. He needed to rein things in before he said anything aloud.

He attempted to distract himself by running his hands over some ridiculously soft baby booties, and he tried to ground himself in the present moment by accessing his senses, just as his therapist had taught him. Touch, check. Sounds, check.

Wait, touch again. His skin felt the breeze through the nearby vent, and he realized it was warm and pleasant.

Heat.

“Crap, it’s October.”

His mother looked up at him with an inquisitive look.

He nodded adamantly and said, “There’s no need for air conditioning right now. She must have turned up the heat when she got in, which is why it was cool when I arrived earlier.”

“I don’t follow dear?”

“What I don’t understand is why she didn’t turn it back down when it got too hot. And why she asked to have an air conditioning repairman come over….”

His eyes widened in realization, thinking back to Pierce’s comments.

“Crap. More worlds colliding.”

“Dear, are you okay?”

“Oh yes, mom. I am peachy. Just peachy.”

He suddenly realized he was kneading a small hat, as his mother’s hands were on his in a gentle attempt at bringing him back.

“Sorry.”

He let go, and she took the hat from him and then let out a soft gasp. She smiled down at it and mused, “Archie. Isn’t that the cutest name? Of course, it’s way too old-fashioned, so it’s very strange they embroidered it on a newborn hat. I can’t imagine there’d be a market for it. Why even when I was young, Archie wasn’t popular anymore.”

“Yeah, it’s a name for old people.”

He instantly had another realization, and he decided he might have to head back to the office sooner than he anticipated.

And make a visit to Greendale’s campus to knock some sense into two weirdos.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	18. Family Mediation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pierce’s scheme comes to light

 

“So that’s when Eartha decided I was too much man for her and threw herself back into her career.”

“That’s nice, Pierce.”

Shirley twisted her face for a brief moment and then exchanged an exasperated look with Britta across the cafeteria counter before she affected a bright smile and turned back to hand Abed the tongs. She then gently guided him toward the lettuce bin while pointing to the open sandwich in front of him.

“And to think, she wasn’t even a lesbian. I was just too much man for her.”

“Yes, Pierce, um hmmm.”

“Did I mention I was too much man for her? That’s what she said.”

Britta accepted a sandwich from Pavel and then handed it to Pierce. With wide eyes she said, “Here, you seem extra hungry today. It’s on me.”

He nodded eagerly and began to chomp at it, mumbling between bites, “Meet me in the ladies room later and I’ll pay you back.”

“Pierce, will you stop? Britta is nice and gets you a sandwich while she’s visiting us from the psych ward, and you harass her? Damn, but that’s just not cool.” Troy glared at him and accepted Britta’s awkward high five.

Abed let out a long whistle and then remarked, “Yeah, Pierce. Sexual harassment hasn’t been in vogue as a model of entertainment since the nineteen eighties. There’s way too much of a Sixteen Candles rapey vibe going on here.” He then resumed his assembly.

Clutching his sandwich, Pierce snapped, “Shut up, A-bed! No one asked you what you thought!”

“I was just agreeing with Troy. What you said to Britta was inappropriate.”

Britta admently nodded and said, “Thank you, Abed.”

Keeping his eyes on Abed, Pierce seethed, which did not go unnoticed by the rest of the gang. Shirley took a moment to consider if she should say anything that would be of any use in this situation, but then decided better of it and continued to instruct Abed.

It was then that Annie slowly approached holding a tray while doing her best to affect a chipper expression. She stepped between Troy and Pierce and glanced back and forth.

“Hi guys. What’s going on?” She arched a brow and her voice lifted at the end of her question.

Britta answered, “Oh, just some of Pierce’s typical sexual harassment. But Troy and Abed defended me, so at least not all men are pigs.” She glared over at Pierce.

“Now Britta, you misunderstood. I was paying you a compliment. I don’t meet just any women in the restroom. Why, did I ever tell you about the time Eartha and I…”

“Pierce! Really?”  Annie screeched and then almost instantly winced, Troy deftly taking her tray from her while replacing it with his seat cushion. She smiled appreciatively and held her free hand to her abdomen, exclaiming, “Sorry, I have so much heartburn. I’m going to go sit down. Thanks, Troy.”

With a sheepish gaze, he said, “I told you you can keep it for awhile, you know. You don’t have to keep giving it back to me.”

“You’re sure?”

“Yeah, definitely. You need it more than I do. I know it’s hard for you to get comfortable.” Troy smiled tenderly at her, and Britta and Shirley instantly cooed.

“Troy, you are going to make a great husband to a lucky woman someday.” Shirley beamed at him, and Troy shrugged.

“Only if it’s okay with Abed.”

“I told you Troy, seventy five percent with me. Whatever you want to do with the other twenty five percent is cool cool cool.” Abed gave him finger guns, which were instantly reciprocated.

Shirley looked perplexed as Britta moved closer to Annie and inquired about what she could eat, and Pierce’s expression continued to morph into rage.

Trembling, he snapped, “Oh, it’s A-bed this and A-bed that, isn’t it? Troy, you can’t let him decide how you live your life. Why, with your looks and if you happen to stumble into a small or not so small fortune, you’d have ladies lining up for you!” Gesturing toward Abed with his tray, he continued,  “And if you became more worldly, why you’d see how weird he is and how much catering to his obsessive mumbo jumbo holds you back!”

Troy tightened his smile and shook his head. “You don’t know anything about what I need.”

As Annie was about to walk off with Britta toward the lunch table, she turned around and said, “Pierce, you’re being mean.”

“Annie, dear, I’m just telling the truth.”

Abed glanced over the counter and said, “I hate you.”

“Shut your mouth! Why I’ll…” Pierce threw aside his tray, Hickey running over from the other side of the cafeteria just in time to catch it, before lunging at the counter.

It was at that moment that Jeff rushed in and made a beeline for Shirley’s Sandwiches and threw himself in between Pierce and Abed, using not an insignificant amount of strength to hold Pierce in place, his hands on his shoulders. He thanked God he and Pierce were about the same height and that he had gotten here in the knick of time. One more second and Pierce likely would have vaulted over and began pummeling Abed.

Or something like that, he couldn't really be sure. All he knew was his instincts had kicked in, and luckily he had prepared himself on the way over to confront Pierce anyway about the Troy situation, so this didn’t take him completely by surprise.

“What the hell?!?”

As Pierce seemed to register Jeff’s presence, he stilled. “Jeffrey? Why are you here?”

Jeff allowed his hands to drop and gave him a pointed look. “Are you serious? You come by my office this morning and said some weird stuff. I was here to talk to you about it further but then I see you attempting to assault one of our friends.”

With a dismissive wave, Pierce said, “You’re my lawyer, so you’d bail me out. And anyway, I didn’t assault him. It was just a misunderstanding.” He flashed an eerie smile and then continued, “Right, Jeff? You're my lawyer, so perhaps we can err, meet over there in the corner and discuss finalizing what we were talking about earlier? It’s all confidential, right?”

At this, Jeff cringed. Of course Pierce was right. As his lawyer, he was bound by client-attorney confidentiality, so he couldn’t tell everyone what Pierce was up to. So far, he had pieced things together, and he had a hunch what Pierce was planning. The deception was fairly elaborate, and it irked him that Pierce would think he would go along with the scheme. Looking into his conniving eyes now, he didn’t doubt that Pierce thought he was one hundred percent with him on this.

  
He leaned in and whispered, “We need to discuss Archibald.”

“That’s what I just said. Let’s grab a corner booth over there.” Pierce gestured with his head, and then his eyes widened and Jeff turned around to see his mother shuffling in while holding Sophie’s hand.

Shit. He had forgotten his mother made a big fuss about picking Sophie up after the fiasco at the office, the memory of which he was actively trying to suppress at the moment, as he surmised that the Pierce situation had to be handled first. She had been pretty upset with him, stating she thought he was meddling and that he should leave it alone, but clearly she didn’t understand his role in the group.

Someone had to knock some sense into everyone. Someone had to maintain order.

The fact that Penelope had gotten defensive hadn’t really surprised him, but her steadfast commitment to her foolish course of action was impressive. He had tried to explain to her as calmly as he could that she wasn’t thinking this through and she needed to not let herself get derailed from her goals. She had then told him he was being patronizing, and then Mark had cried, and then he had stormed off with the intention of going to Greendale. His mother had stopped him in the parking lot and chastised him, which he explained to her he actually found pretty condescending.

He was an adult, and he could handle this. The rest of them were children.

It was then he became aware of Annie by his side, as she was tapping his arm.

“Jeff, what’s going on? Why are you here, and why is your mother here with Sophie?”

He felt kind of bad, as he hadn’t even had time to greet her. She probably thought he was being a lunatic, but he was sure she’d understand once he explained everything, which unfortunately as it was just fully hitting him, he could not do. But he knew she’d trust him.

With more tension in his voice than he anticipated, he explained, “I’m sorry. I needed to come here and handle a couple things, and she insisted on following me, but she said she couldn’t get back to Riverside in time to pick Sophie up later, so she got her now I guess. Crap.”

“What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. She just thinks I’m overreacting.”

“Are you?”

“Annie.”

He looked down at her to see her regarding him with almost a look of pity, which she tended to do when she thought he was getting wound up about something ridiculous. It wasn’t helping.

She then turned and opened her arms to accept Sophie running over to hug her leg, and she pet her hair and said, “Hi sweetie, you surprised me!”

_ “Hi Mama!” _

She smiled up at Dorie, who was now standing by their sides.

“I hope you don’t mind, but I wanted to make sure I picked her up like we discussed, but I really needed to have a word with my son.”

“Mom.”

Addressing Jeff, she said with a stern tone, “You will stop this nonsense. Leave Troy alone.”

Everyone quieted at this exclamation, and Jeff felt his face becoming hot. The fact that his mom would do this publicly was more than a bit humiliating. He smiled tightly and said, “I know what I’m doing.”

“Do you?”

“Mom.”

“Jeff, what is she talking about?” Annie glanced over at Troy, who was standing eerily calm and reading his phone.

Pierce hissed at Jeff, “You are bound by privilege! You can’t tell Troy my plans!”

Troy glanced up and asked nonchalantly, “Plans?”

Jeff interjected, “I’m not, Pierce. I have to talk to Troy about another matter.”

“Yeah, Jeff, no you don’t. I gotta say, that’s pretty low, what you said to Penelope. She texted me a bunch of stuff earlier, and that was just not cool.” Troy shook his head and regarded Jeff with a look of disappointment.

Utter disappointment. Jeff suddenly felt like an ass.

He sighed and said, “Look, Troy, I didn’t want to do this in front of the group. Let’s just go over there, and…”

“No, man. You tell everyone what you have to say to me.”

Jeff felt everyone’s eyes on him, even Shirley’s, as she seemed to have completely lost interest in taking sandwich orders, and the other students had all shuffled away with their bellies full of hunger but not wanting to get pulled into any study group drama. He vaguely registered Hickey by his mother, his arm draped over her shoulder.

With reluctance, he addressed Troy.

“You and Penelope?”

“So what?”

“Why didn’t you tell me?”

Troy shrugged and said, “Probably because we thought you’d act like this. But mostly because we weren’t really sure yet what we’re doing, so we didn’t feel like announcing anything. And as she’s explained to me, we don’t need your permission.” He paused and then added, “Which is something I don’t think I quite got until just now. I had been feeling a little guilty, but now the way you barge in here and act like this, man, she was right.”

“Troy, I can’t explain it but trust me, I’m trying to protect you.”

“Oh right, Jeffrey, protect him from zillions of dollars.”

“Pierce.”

“Well, crap, forget whatever it is I just said.”

Abed opened his mouth to interject something, and Jeff gave him a pointed look with the hope he would understand now was not the time to rile Pierce up. He stopped and affected a close lipped smile.

Troy rolled his eyes. “Protect me from Penelope? She’s like the coolest.”

With a sigh, Jeff said, “That’s not what I meant. Again, for various reasons I can’t get into it, but that’s not the main reason I’m upset right now. As far as you and Penelope go, I guess you’re right, that is none of my business. But I wish you guys would have been more straightforward with me.”

Troy shrugged again, and at that moment Shirley placed her hand around Abed’s shoulders and said, “We’re not being very sensitive to Abed. I’m sure he’s upset about this information.”

“No, I’m not, Shirley. As I explained earlier, Troy can see whomever he wants, as long as it’s the correct percentage. I know about him and Penelope. In fact, I was the one who suggested it.”

Another silence fell over the group, and Jeff cocked his head to wait.

Pleased at having everyone’s attention, Abed continued, “I didn’t approve of Britta because I ran through the scenarios, and one ended up with me and Troy body swapping and me having to break up with her. Damn was that awkward.” He shook his head and looked down for a moment before he added, “Booooy, did I want to avoid that.”

Britta shouted, “Hey!”

He went on, “Plus Britta’s incapable of being with such a normal and nice man as Troy. She’s much suited to Professor Duncan who, let’s face it, is kind of a mess. Plus I need them to play out the trope, so she’s off limits.” He wiggled his eyebrows at Britta, and she scowled.

He continued, “Troy and I tried dating a librarian once, but it didn’t work. But then Jeff, you introduced us to Penelope, and she seemed to fit in nicely. Plus this way we get to have a reason to hang out more. Troy told me he fixed your air conditioning problem.”

Jeff took a moment to digest this information. Of course Abed knew about the whole thing. It would really be the only way he could see Troy getting even remotely serious about anyone, but the fact that it was his paralegal and potentially future law partner made it a bit of a mind fuck. But he supposed there was no real harm in it. And yet…

He snapped, “Wait, you and Penelope lied to me. There was no reason for us to have air conditioning at this time of year, so she just cranked up the heat as an excuse to have you come over. So you just waltz over to my law firm while I’m what at lunch with my mother, in some crazy scheme? Troy, what the hell?”

Troy stared at him for a few beats and then shrugged. “You got us. We just wanted an excuse to see each other, or I guess she did. I can’t help it if I’m adorable. I’m sorry, Jeff. Next time I’ll just come by.”

The group began awwwing, led by Annie and Shirley who were both looking ecstatic for some weird reason. Jeff was annoyed, as he realized he was seeming like the villain here when all he was doing was trying to keep worlds from colliding.

But when he did this, his friends ended up keeping things from him. He thought back to the whole Britta and Ian thing and the whole his mother and Hickey thing.

Dammit.

Abed was speaking, “Troy is pretty adorable.”

“Thanks, man.”

“We should invite Penelope to hang out and watch Inspector Spacetime with us this weekend. And do you think she’d be up to a group costume for Halloween? She could be the Inspector’s arch female nemesis The Siren.”

“I’ll ask her. Maybe you could come by to see her with me when you’re done with your shift?”

“Sure.”

Jeff gulped and then said, “Guys, you’re right. I’m sorry you felt you had to keep things from me, which I realize now seems justified since I kind of got into control freak mode.”

“Yeah man, you did.”

“I’d really like to be your friend. And that means us telling each other things, the important things.”

He felt Annie’s hand squeeze, and he realized he had been barely aware she had been holding his hand for likely some time. He then realized she was also holding Troy’s seat cushion.

At his inquisitive look, she explained, “Troy’s letting me borrow this for awhile. It really makes sitting so much more comfortable while I carry our child.” She let go of his hand and placed it on her belly, and Sophie reached up to tap it as well.

He smiled and then leaned down and scooped up Sophie. As he stood, he said, “Troy, thank you for looking out for Annie. That was really thoughtful.”

“No problem. I’m no longer padded, but I’ll be okay.”

They exchanged confirming looks, and Jeff felt his anxiety dissipating.

“But what about me?”

Everyone ignored Pierce.

 

X

X

It wasn’t until a little while later, after they had all convened in the study room to finish their sandwiches and hang out, that Jeff remembered part of the reason he had gone to Greendale today. He had been having too much fun catching up with the gang, throwing wads of paper back and forth with Sophie, and seeing his beautiful wife, who was smiling at him with pride after his little speech. They sat next to each other on one of the couches, and he didn’t even mind his mom whispering things to Hickey in a fairly intimate way at various points.

He and Troy had patched things up, and he had even called Penelope with an apology, which luckily she had readily accepted. They agreed to put it all behind them and chalk it up to one of those Greendale moments. It seemed like once a semester one of them went a little insane.

The re-emergence of Pierce in the doorway reminded him of another current insanity. He had read through Archibald Hawthorne’s file, noting the establishment of a Philippines address with rental contract signed as of last month. There of course had also been the digital passport with the picture.

A picture of Pierce.

As he reflected on it in the current happy moment with all of their friends around, it pained him that Pierce could be so full of hate and sadness that he would scheme to fake his death and establish another life far away, setting up an elaborate scheme where Troy would be forced to sail away from all of them, thereby breaking the almost sacred bond between Abed and Troy.

Abed would die if Troy left, or at least part of him would, Jeff was sure.

Was that how Pierce felt? That he was alone anyway, practically dead, so he might as well be?

He stopped his game with Sophie and redirected her toward Troy and Abed, who were eager to show her something on Abed’s laptop. He gave Annie a reassuring look before excusing himself and approached Pierce.

He whispered, “We do really need to talk.”

With a sulk, Pierce said, “I was willing to talk, but then you forgot about me.”

“I’m sorry. Look, I read through everything, and I think I know what you’re planning. As your lawyer, but more importantly your friend, I advise you not to do it.”

“You can’t stop me.”

“Pierce, please.”

There were a few awkward moments of silence, and Jeff hoped he was getting in Pierce’s head somewhere. He gave him a pointed look and waited.

“I’ll die if I want to.”

He winced, and then Abed’s voice piped in from a startlingly close range, “Pierce is dying?”

They both jumped and turned to see Abed standing in back of Jeff, his head tilted and one finger raised. His eyes portrayed the hint of excitement.

“No, he is not.”

“Yes, maybe I am! That’ll show all of you! See how you all do without me! Why I bet this group would just fall apart!”

“No, we’d have a better time.”

Once again, Jeff blocked Pierce from Abed, and he said, “Abed, knock it off. Pierce is clearly upset and he’s lonely…”

“I am not!”

“And he’s our friend, so we should include him more.” As Pierce began to calm down, Jeff ventured, “Would you like to join us?”

“I hope Pierce isn’t going to fake his death, because frankly that’s predictable, boring, and I can confidently say, a cheap ploy.”

“Abed.”

“Oh like hell I won’t!”

“Really Pierce? You already told me about your plans for your will. I remember you told me months ago that you were going to set up some system of leaving Troy your money but he’d have to sail around the world to get it thereby having to leave me. Frankly I thought you’d realize that was stupid but I guess not.” Abed stared at him blankly.

Troy, who had been sitting near the couches, perked his ears and then redirected Sophie toward Annie. He stood and walked over to join them near the door and asked Pierce, “You were going to give me all your money but I’d have to leave Greendale?”

“Yes. It’s in my will. Whenever I do die, that’s the plan. Then you’ll have billions. Think about what you could do with that amount of cash.” Pierce smiled maniacally.

Troy shrugged. “Why would I want that much money if I had to leave my friends?”

“But you’d learn how to become a man. Your own man.”

“Troy doesn’t need to know how to become a man. He already is one.”

“Shut up, A-bed. Troy, you’ve enmeshed your life along with another man’s.”

“You found my Clive Owen tumblr?”

Jeff squinted.

Britta, who had been actively listening along with the rest of the group, shuffled over and said, “Pierce, being dependent on others is a strength, not a weakness.”

“Yeah, Clive’s cool, so yeah.”

They all stared at Pierce, who was now regarding the floor, his hands in his pockets, his shoulders hunched. It could go one of two ways, and they all waited with baited breath.

After what seemed like an eternity, Pierce glanced up and smiled sheepishly.

“I’m sorry, guys. Troy, you’re right. I am sure you are a man and that whatever you’re doing with A-bed or with this Cliff fellow is perfectly fulfilling for you.”

“Thanks.”

“Why I’m sure you have no need for billions of dollars. Like, for let’s say, to spend on your friends. Why, I’m sure it wouldn’t be selfish of you to refuse to sail around the world, thereby depriving your friends of your potential generosity upon your return.”

Troy affected a panicked expression, and Jeff had about enough.

“Pierce! Cut it out! You’re not dying, okay?” He stared at him intently, hoping Pierce would understand what he meant. He couldn’t break confidentiality, but he could convey the same message.

“Maybe I am.”

Jeff didn’t know what to do. When Pierce had his sights on something evil, usually no one was spared. He let out a long and weary sigh, resigning himself to the fact that he’d have to know that Pierce was alive around the world while Troy was manipulated and guilted into leaving them. It wasn’t fair.

_ “Grandpa Peas, please don’t die.” _

They all startled and looked down to see Sophie standing next to Pierce, her eyes wide and watery, and her hands clutched just under her chin.

_ “You can’t die. I sawed it in my dream. You died. But then Troy said you didn’t die. He went to your house and he checked for me. But please don’t die. I was so sad. I love you.” _

Jeff’s heart lurched, and he instinctively bent down, but Pierce beat him to it and scooped Sophie into his arms. Luckily for everyone, Pierce remained on his knees and merely hugged her rather than attempted to stand, and everyone was stunned by the tears falling down his face.

“Oh, Sophie, I’m not going to die. I’ll never die.”

_ “You promise?” _

“I’m staying right here.”

_ “Then why you say you die?” _

“Because I’m stupid. So, so stupid. I’m sorry.”

_ “It’s okay.” _

Jeff continued to watch as Pierce and Sophie held their hug, and he then felt Annie’s hand squeeze and realized she was once again by his side.

“We have a pretty amazing daughter.”

“Yeah, even she can tame Pierce.”

 

X

X

X

“So, Jeffrey, ummm, I have some files.”

Jeff looked up from his desk, half surprised that Pierce was continuing the ritual. He motioned him in, and Pierce sat in his chair and plopped his feet up, a briefcase in his lap.

“I thought they were all on the computer.”

“Nope. Wally didn’t have all my paper back ups. I don’t trust technology. I thought you might need these?”

With a stone face, Jeff stood and reached over to accept the briefcase. He then sat back down and opened it. Inside was a single sheet of paper with one typed line. He picked it up to read it.

Archibald Hawthorne is dead.

He glanced up to see Pierce nodding solemnly.

“You don’t say?”

“Yes, poor man realized he was an ass and just gave up. It’s not a real loss to the family.”

“I see.”

“I’m having dinner with Gilbert tonight. Do you, Annie and Sophie want to join us?”

“Sure.”

  
  
  
  
  



	19. Speculative Fiction in Several Adorable Steps

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie takes control

 

Halloween was soon upon them, and Annie couldn’t wait to get everything finished, knowing that Jeff would be thrilled for them to have a family costume. He had wanted it so much last year, and although his heart had been in the right place, his execution had worried her so much that she wasn’t able to participate, and she knew that made him sad.

This time she decided to take charge.

She hadn’t told him about the specifics of her idea while she and a surprisingly crafty Britta  finished sewing a week before, only reassuring him she was taking care of things. She ignored his smirk, fully aware he was indulging her lately, probably because of the pregnancy.

“I thought you were crocheting a blanket for our yet-to-be-named progeny.” He sighed as he plopped down on the couch next to her, and she made quick efforts to throw a pillow over her work so that he couldn’t see it.

She placed a kiss on his cheek and explained, “I am, but this will have to take precedence. Halloween’s next week.”

“Our baby is due in like seven weeks.” He gulped a little, his eyes momentarily bulging at the thought. He let his arm drape over her shoulders, likely in an attempt to affect some breeziness, which he no doubt knew she’d see right through.

“Right, so I’ll have plenty of time to finish the blanket.” She patted his knee in an attempt at reassurance. She knew the impending arrival of Baby!Winger (who she was sure was going to be the cutest thing) was starting to freak him out a little. She had caught him pacing near the bassinette the other day, mumbling something about room. She wasn’t nearly as concerned about that, knowing that the baby wouldn’t need that much space for awhile. Afterall, she had kept Sophie in her bedroom for a full year.

She smiled at him, and his shoulders relaxed.

As he eyed with amusement a furry bit of costume sticking out, he said, “As fun as this has been, not knowing what you’ve been planning, perhaps it’s time. You’ve taken my measurements, and Shirley’s been grinning extra deviously at me lately. Spill it.”

With an eye roll, she said, “Fine. It was Sophie’s idea. I’ll need you to try it on anyway so I have time to make adjustments.” She removed the pillow to reveal the small plush kangaroo costume.

She had a suspicion he already knew what she had been planning, as Sophie wasn’t very good at keeping secrets, but she affected an aura of showmanship at the reveal.

With a hearty laugh, he exclaimed, “Wow. I don’t think I’m going to fit into that.”

She glanced down at the cute costume with the little fluffy feet, and her heart fluttered, she couldn’t help it.

She sighed, “This is Sophie’s, dummy. But yours is similar. It’s in the bedroom closet.”

He cocked his head and seemed to wait for her to take it back, but she held his gaze. As it hit him, he said, “You’re serious? When you said family costume….?” His voice trailed up and came to a stop as he yet again seemed to wait for her to cave.

With full confidence, she replied, “Yes, Jeff, we’re going as a family of kangaroos.”

Well, she guessed Sophie hadn’t told him after all. That was a surprise.

“I thought you wanted to be a pregnant nun.”

With a gasp, she said, “Where’s the family costume in that idea? What would Sophie be? Would you be a priest? Or God? It was just too convoluted.” She shook her head at the thought. It was too much.

With noticeable reluctance, he nodded and picked up the adorable furry costume, and she clapped her hands in delight. She was sure he would love it once he got used to the idea. Grouchy Jeff always ended up liking her ideas.

His brow furrowing, he said, “Sooo, the munchkin’s a small kangaroo, I’m the daddy kangaroo, you’re the mommy kangaroo, and …?”

Anticipating the question, she blurted, ”My costume has a pouch. And a sweet little kangaroo peeking out. With soft little ears, just like on Sophie’s costume.” She ran her hands over the ears and then looked up at him, using her full Disney eyes.

He was smiling slightly in that way he did when he was humoring her, but she didn’t care.

“Do I at least get to be a cool daddy kangaroo?”

“Sophie says you can wear sunglasses.”

“All right, then.”

 

X

X

X

“I don’t see why they can’t do without you for one meeting.”

She looked up into Jeff’s eyes and did her best to flutter her own, knowing full well that he was getting some ego needs met by all the mothers fawning over him at as they discussed how to take the newly formed t-ball league to the next level. While part of her hadn’t been that thrilled that he had allowed himself to be drafted to the recreation committee she had to admit that she was proud of the little troupe he had put together. So far, Sophie had been quite enjoying it, and Jeff had been right about her throwing abilities. She was already their star pitcher, and they had merely been practicing. Coach Winger somehow managed to carve out the time one day per week after pick-up.

With a heavy sigh, he placed his furry arm around her and explained, “You know all committees need me, Annie. Plus, we’re near the end of the season.”

“It’s a preschool t-ball game. And you won’t even play another team until the springtime.”

“But we have to let the Riverside Tots know that we can crush them.”

“Jeff.”

He leaned down and growled, “How about this. You come with me to the next meeting and sit by my side. You’re an excellent strategist, and that way you get to mark me.”

“That’s not what I’m concerned about.”

He smirked and she allowed him to kiss her, the kiss deepening for a few moments before Britta gagged and tossed a large soft acorn at them, which Jeff adeptly caught with his free hand.

“You guys should get a room.”

Jeff gave her one more kiss before reluctantly turning to face Britta and replying, “You know we don’t have that much more time for this with the little Roo coming,” he patted the stuffed kangaroo peeking out of Annie’s pouch, which had turned out to be rather comically prominent as her belly had grown a bit in the last week, and continued, “so we have to take advantage.” He smiled smugly.

Britta rolled her eyes and puffed out her squirrel tail, Jeff eyeing it for several beats before she groaned and said, “Fine. I know it’s a costume I’ve worn before but I was helping make all your costumes so I didn’t have time to make anything new.”

“You made that thing?”

“Yes, jerkwad, and I sewed your little paws on too. Notice how they have flaps underneath where you can move your hands out? You’re welcome.”

He placed his sunglasses back on and said, “Thank you. I’m enjoying my paws and the access. I’ll make sure to make use of it.” His tone left the implication hanging, and Britta scowled.

“Shut your face.”

As Jeff giggled, Annie turned to Britta and said, “Thanks so much for your help. Ignore him, please.”

“Oh that won’t be a problem.”

She stepped closer and pushed the fluffy tail out of the way as she said, “I’m sorry you didn’t get a chance to make something for yourself. I know this was a big job.”

She assumed Britta shrugged, but it was hard to tell.

“Eh, I did it for Sophie. She told me she had her little heart set on it.”

Beaming, Annie said, “Yes, she loves it.” She absentmindedly began caressing the baby kangaroo, and Britta softened her expression.

“How are you doing?”

“Oh, I’m feeling okay. Just a little tired, but I think I can rally.”

_“Daddy, Mama, baby roo, I have to show you something!”_

They all turned to see Sophie bounding toward them, quite literally. She had taken on the full persona of a kangaroo since putting on her costume a half hour ago, emitting a series of screechy notes that, although Jeff had done his best to explain weren’t associated with a kangaroo ,she persisted in doing. He had then given up, and Annie had placed her hands over her own fluffy ears at various points in order to manage. When they had seen Britta a few minutes ago, Sophie had been entranced by the squirrel tail, and both Annie and Jeff had wondered if she would regret not being one. But she had then pronounced Britta a kangaroo as well, and they went with it.

She was rapidly approaching, having run off a moment ago to find Shirley’s kids, as they were at the Bennett household and still near the door. Following her was a confused looking Ian, who was dressed all in brown with a similar colored cap, and Pierce, who was trailing both of them, sporting a a delighted grin.

He was dressed as a Keebler Elf, down to the turned up shoes.

Things had been strange with Pierce following the whole faking-his-death thing. Although Jeff couldn’t break privilege, Annie had read between the lines enough at their awkward dinner with him and Gilbert what had transpired. She wasn’t that interested in the particulars, only the effect it had on Jeff and poor little Sophie. Although she had been relieved that Pierce had quickly ended the whole idea at Sophie's pleas, she couldn’t shake how rattled it had made Jeff and affected their relationship. Seeing Pierce with Gilbert, a man who obviously wanted to be a good brother and friend to him, puzzled her more as Pierce didn’t seem to appreciate it. What would have happened to Gilbert in all of this? And what he had tried to do to Troy and Abed made her heart hurt.

She had been feeling more emotional lately, but even so she knew this whole thing with Pierce was something she needed to address. She couldn’t have him being Jeff’s client and then ordering Jeff around to do sneaky schemes. She knew Jeff was feeling financial pressure or otherwise he wouldn't agree to keep Pierce on.

He couldn’t do anything about it, but she could.

She smiled down at Sophie, who was pointing behind her and screeching, _“Grampa Peas is so funny! He’s an elf! But he’s so big!”_

Ian joined Britta by her side and mumbled, “Why am I here?”

Her ears perking, Sophie swung around and shouted,   _“Because you’re a nut!”_

Jeff nodded and said, “Well, that’s true.” He then stepped closer to Sophie and gave her a high five.

Annie tilted her head and stared back and forth between Ian and Britta, who was blushing, and she quickly ascertained their couple costume. She gave Britta an _oh really_ look and swatted Jeff’s chest as he attempted to stifle more giggles.

He was in a silly mood tonight, and she loved it. Much better than last year. He only needed a little bit of precious furriness to bring out his Halloween spirit.

At that moment Ian seemed to fully register Jeff’s costume. He stared at him and asked, “Bloody hell, Winger. How can you even see me through those glasses?”

“Oh, I see enough. Christ, you _are_ a nut.”

“We’re doing a couples costume. Because we’re a couple.”  Ian awkwardly placed his arm around Britta, who smiled tightly before giving him a quick peck on the cheek.

Annie could sense Jeff’s incredulity beneath his shades, so she gave them what she hoped was a supportive look and then turned her attentions back to Pierce, who had finally made his way to them all.

“Yes, I’m a Keebler elf!”

Annie asked, “Oh, my, why?”

Affecting a haughty pose, he explained as he held up the familiar cookie want, “Because, dear Annie, I am embracing everything any of you has ever mocked me for. I’m turning over a new leaf. The Pierce you see before you will not retreat into schemes or convinces. He will allow himself to be laughed at.”

_“You are so funny, Grampa Peas.”_

“Thank you, Sophie. I bless you with my cookie want.”  He tapped her shoulder, which elicited a flurry of giggles.

Annie thought through her options during the next few moments of small talk about Pierce’s wand, Jeff surprisingly restrained, and then she motioned Pierce over to chat privately while instructing Jeff to go with Sophie and the others to find the Bennett boys.

As they stood in the foyer, she looked up at Pierce and asked, “Is everything okay?”

“Why yes. I see you’re a kangaroo as well. And my, you have a baby kangaroo. I get it! Now here, let Grandpa Peas just bless it…”

“Pierce, please.” She held up her hand to block the tap.

He stammered, almost dropping his wand as he explained, “Sorry, I wasn’t going to make it a bonk, just a tap. I err, know you have a real one in there.” He made a vague motion with his hand toward her pouch.

She let out a long breath, which was becoming slightly more difficult for her recently due to the baby taking up more room near her lungs, and then said, “I’ve been very concerned about you and Jeff.”

With an incredulous tone, he asked, “Me and Jeffrey?”

She narrowed her eyes and explained, “Your business arrangement. I know you’re his client, but you can’t go around asking him to do crazy schemes for you that will affect the group. You know he can’t tell me or anyone else. It’s a big power play, and I don’t like it.”

She knew he was caught off guard, and his fumbling with his robe barely concealed it. She pushed down a presumptive smile in an attempt to keep the guilt going.

Deciding to shift strategy a little, she widened her eyes and persisted, “You do want me and Jeff to have a good relationship, don’t you? You want our marriage to succeed?”

He replied in a syrupy voice, “Annie, of course. I was just trying to show Abed how much he can suck it.”

She snapped, “No!”

“Annie, dear, now….”

\--”No! You will stop it! When you and Abed fight, it affects us all. You need to work it out with him directly, or you know what? You can just accept the fact that he and Troy are close, and you can maybe be friends with them. But you need to stop involving Jeff in this. He can handle your other business affairs if you want him to, but leave him out of the secret keeping, okay?”

She stared up at him fiercely, and she felt the anger rushing through her veins. He was looking back at her with an expression of shock.

Well, good.

“You will not mess with my man.”

 

X

X

As they shuffled and hopped toward the next house, for Sophie wanted them both to come along Trick or Treating since they were a kangaroo family, Jeff leaned down and whispered so the others up ahead wouldn’t hear him, “What the hell happened with you and Pierce?”

“Oh, nothing.” She avoided his eyes.

“Really? Because he’s been extra nice tonight, and it almost seems genuine. After you talked to him, he was sheepish and then asked Abed to tell him about Inspector Spacetime.”

She smiled with triumph as she glanced up ahead, spying the backs of Pierce and Abed, who were in animated conversation as they followed Troy and Penelope, who had apparently taken up Abed’s suggestion in a group costume. It was full on Inspector Spacetime night.

She said, “Abed seems to be having a good night.”

“Yeah.”

“And Troy and Penelope. They’re cute.”

“Yeah.”

She heard his reluctant groan of admission and took his furry paw in his and gave it a squeeze.

He clicked the leash, and a furry-vested Ruffles continued to trot by their side.

 

X

X

They eventually made it back to the Bennett house where they had more Halloween celebrations, with the kids all excitedly watching The Little Mermaid in the den for some reason, Jeff remarking the entire time how it wasn’t a Halloween movie but everyone ignored him. Thanos kept handing Jeff baby Maria, dressed in her finest Nemo costume, and making comments about how Jeff would need to get extra acquainted with small babies.

“I’m pretty sure you just want to grab a beer.”

A superman-cape wearing Thanos chuckled and gave Maria a kiss before dashing off toward Andre’s secret stash in the garage, and Jeff rolled his eyes.

Annie sidled up to him and said, “I’m always amazed how well you do with small babies.” She ran her hand over Maria’s wavy hair and couldn’t help but notice how sweet she was, with her little cheeks that were getting chubbier lately. She let her other hand rest on her belly, wondering how their baby would look  and if they’d have Sophie’s curls or Jeff’s straighter hair.

He said, “She’s like four months. I understand that part.” He glanced down at Maria and bounced her a little, holding her with one arm so that she could look outward at everyone else in the kitchen. Her eyes widened as she spied an African-inspired Rapunzel Shirley’s big smile from across the room.

“Our next baby will be four months in no time.”

“Don’t remind me.” He smiled slightly down at Maria and added, “Speaking of, we should probably make sure we have everything ready. We need to sign up for those birthing classes, and we need to pack you a hospital bag, and we need to make sure we have all the newborn stuff, whatever those may be cause Christ I’m not yet done reading the newborn book, and we need to…”

She raised up on her toes and planted a kiss on his neck, which stopped him.

As she lowered herself to her flat feet, she said, “We have plenty of time. We’ll be ready. You’ll be ready.”

“Annie.” He gulped and addressed the baby kangaroo, “I hope your mother’s right.”

“I always am.”

They exchanged reassuring smiles for a few moments before Jeff once again looked around.

“Hey, where’s Daniela anyway?”

“She’s with the kids. Dino needed some extra cuddle time while they watch the movie.”

Jeff tensed and the licked his lip in thought. She knew what he was going to say before he did, but she waited.

“Because of the baby?”

She nodded, remembering Daniela’s recounting of Dino’s recent insecurities. He had been used to being an only child for the past five years. As excited as he had been for a baby sister, it had been hard for him, so Daniela had been attempting to lavish some extra attention on him lately.

Jeff placed a kiss on Maria’s head, which elicited a goo and smile, which appeared to have a similar effect on Jeff. He scrunched up his face in that way he used to do when interacting with baby Sophie, which always made Annie’s heart swell, even if she had been too scared at the time to admit she had been falling for him.

“You’re very cute, but you’ve kind of ruined Dino’s only-child gig.”

His voice was gentle and teasing, but Annie knew he was worried. She whispered, “Sophie will be okay. She’s excited.”

“She doesn't really know what she’s signed up for, though. Not that I really know either.” He bit his lip and resumed bouncing Maria while staring off toward the hallway.

Of course she was somewhat concerned about how Sophie would do not being the center of attention, but she wasn’t fretting about it too much, as Sophie had always shown a generosity with her playmates and in particular with Ruffles, who of course needed some extra attention when they first got her. She tried to tell herself that Sophie would adjust and then soon enough no one would remember what it was like for them to only have one child in the house.

Before she could say anything, Constable Reggie Troy bounded up to them, holding hands with a delighted looking Penelope, who was dressed in a shiny purple outfit.

“Hey guys.” Troy smiled at Maria and then made a series of faces at her in order to elicit some chuckles.  “Damn, she’s adorable. I hope your next one is as cute as she is.”

Jeff replied with a sardonic tone, “We’ll try, Troy.”

“Seriously? You can control that? Then why are there so many ugly people?”

“Ahem, Troy. Jeff was just being sarcastic. You can’t do anything about what a child will look like.” Penelope purred her words as she leaned over picked up a piece of kettle corn off Troy’s lapel, deftly placing it in her shiny purple clutch.

Troy smiled dopily at this and said, ”Ahh, you’re saving it for later. You’re so smart.”

Without missing a beat, she replied, “Yes, that’s exactly what I’m doing.” She then turned to Jeff and Annie and said, “I hope it’s not too weird that I’m here.”

Annie chirped, “Of course not! We’re so glad you could come. I think you and Troy are really cute together. Aren’t they, Jeff?” She looked up at him and caught his eye, which was filled with genuine affection. They had been doing some talking about the situation in the past couple weeks, and he had come around considerably on the subject once she pointed out to him that having their friends be happy was the most important thing, even if he didn’t quite understand the combinations. She had reminded him that a lot of people didn’t initially understand them as a couple either, and he had then seemed to get it.

He stepped forward and said, “Penelope, I am really happy you’re here. And you make a stunning evil whats-her-name.”

“Yeah, I don’t remember either. Who am I again, Troy?”

Troy stared at her as he said in all seriousness, “Oh no. We need to get you all squared away with this. We have to find Abed.”

Penelope laughed as Troy tugged her out of the kitchen.

“So….do you think she and Abed actually get along?”

Annie nodded. “I think so. Britta says she’s been staying over sometimes.”

“Where exactly?”

“I didn’t ask.”

 

X

X

After returning home, they were able to subdue Sophie and get her ready for bed, although she refused to take off her kangaroo ears. Annie lovingly patted them as she finished reading a story, and Sophie smiled with contentment.

_“I love Halloween.”_

“I’m so glad you enjoyed it, sweetie. You had a nice time with your friends?”

_“Yeah, and I love you and Daddy and Baby.”_

Sophie clutched the stuff kangaroo along with Ruthie, for Annie had given it to her immediately after changing out of her costume. She supposed Ruthie and Nathan needed another plush friend, and Sophie had already named it Baby Roo.

She managed to lean over a little and give Sophie a kiss on the forehead.

“Daddy and I love you too. And the baby loves you.”

_“When does the baby get here? It’s been for-ev-er.”_

Ruffles briefly readjusted herself at the foot of Sophie’s bed and then let out a squeaky yawn before closing her eyes.

Annie chuckled as she considered Sophie’s tremendous patience. Ian had been right about nine months being a long time for a child to wait. She rubbed her belly and considered it was also a long time for the parents as well. She certainly was feeling more uncomfortable lately and it hit her that Jeff was right that they didn’t have really that long. It seemed like both an eternity to be so constrained and tired and yet oddly imminent that she’d have a screaming baby in her arms.  

She replied, “It’ll be around Christmas time, so pretty soon.”

_“Yay. I wanna hold the baby.”_

“I know. You’re going to be such a great big sister.”

_Sophie added sleepily, “I used to live and grow in your belly.”_

“That’s right, you did grown in my belly.” She glanced down at the bump and considered those times. It seemed both a lifetime ago and yesterday.

_“I can’t wait for my Christmas present. It’ll be better than candy.”_

Annie gave her one more kiss before she slowly stood. She walked over to the door and turned off the light.

“Nite nite, Sophie.”

_“Nite nite, Mama.”_

She left the door open a crack so Ruffles could escape in a few minutes, and made her way back to the living room. Jeff was still tidying up, dumping mounds of candy from Sophie’s bag into a giant jar while simultaneously fluffing a pillow. She arched a brow as she approached.

“You’re not one to fluff pillows.”

“Oh, I’m just trying to get everything in order.” He continued to fluff absentmindedly while scrounging up more candy.

“For what?”

He let his last fistful of candy fall into the jar and said, “Annie, let’s face it, our lives won’t be in order for a long time. Did you see how much Maria spit up on me earlier? I don’t know how to wash that costume, and crap, am I supposed to keep it? I don’t know if the munchkin would freak if I got rid of it, and I know you and Britta worked really hard and as awesome as it is I’m probably not going to be rocking a plushie costume anytime soon…”

Once again, she raised to her toes and kissed his neck, which stilled him. He dropped the pillow on the couch and almost instantly fell back into a seated position in exhaustion. As he placed the jar and bag on the coffee table, she sat beside him.

“We’re gonna be fine, you know.”

He sighed, “Yeah.”

“Aren’t you like super excited? You looked very cute with Maria earlier.”

He grinned and replied, “Yeah, I am. Even in her spittiness, she was adorable.”

“And we’ll do this as a team. And Sophie will need some extra special attention from you for a little while. Are you up for that?”

With a hearty laugh, he answered, “Of course.”

“Remember when she was a baby and freaked you out?”

“The munchkin? Nah.”

“Sure.”

They sat together for a few moments of silence, both eyeing each other coyly, remembering how far they’d come with Sophie. Annie felt calmer than she had a few minutes ago in Sophie's’ room when she considered how close the due date was approaching.

She then felt the kick, and as her hand went to her stomach, Jeff’s did as well, for he knew what was happening. They sat and let it happen for a few minutes, barely exchanging a word.

Finally, she said, “I probably should get working on finishing the blanket.”

“Yeah, you might not feel like doing it in a bit, from what you’ve told me about what it was like with the munchkin.”

She had been filling him in on what her pregnancy had been like from her memory as well as the meticulous notes she had taken throughout the experience. She hadn't really considered at the time that she would use them to both remind herself as well as educate Sophie's actual Daddy on the whole thing at some point. She hadn’t really entertained the idea at the time that she’d have another child at all. She had merely kept the notes because that’s what Annie Edison always did.

“I hope I make it through the semester.”

She shocked herself at voicing the thought, but there it was. She had been noticing the differences with this pregnancy and with Sophie, and the baby was definitely bigger than Sophie had been at this stage. Her lung capacity, heartburn, and girth proved that. The doctor said it was often difficult to gauge the size of a child in utero but was making the assumption that the baby was in the larger-average range.

But she suspected differently, and she knew Jeff did as well, but his was mostly from a place of anxiety and a sense of his own massiveness.

Well, he certainly was a large man which did give his concerns some validity. But she knew hers were based on more, and she liked to think a maternal wise sense. But she hadn’t voiced it really until now, only giving him reassurances how he was being ridiculous.

His eyes widened and he said, “You mean fatigue wise? I know it’s been hard, but look, I’ll pick up any slack, and you can go to bed early and whatever else you need.”

After a momentary hesitation, she confessed, “I don’t know if I’m going to make it until Christmas, Jeff. I know I’ve been saying you’re being silly, but I think this baby is developing faster than Sophie did.”

She smiled at him nervously, and he was certainly doing his best to hold it together. She felt his hand tremble.

He gulped, “I see.”

“It’ll be okay. I’ll try to get as much done as possible.”

“So when are we talking?”

“I don’t know. I just have a hunch. They’re already upside down. Here, feel.” She guided his hand over to the lump on the top left of her tummy and then pressed lightly down on it. She instantly felt the baby’s whole body move. She added, “And I can feel their hiccups below my belly button.”

“Crap. We need to take those classes.” He removed his hand and leaned over to grab his laptop off the table. She stopped him with a light swat.

Giving him a reassuring smile, she said, “Let’s sign up tomorrow. I want to have a quiet night with you.”

He let out an audible breath and said, “Yeah, okay.”

“Before our lives get louder.”

She leaned into his side, and he draped his arm around her, placing a kiss to the top of her head and replacing his hand back on her belly. She could feel the baby give a strong kick, and they both chuckled.

“I love you so much.”

“Love you too.”

“I’ll make a detailed list of everything else we need to do.”

“I was counting on it.”

They heard the soft steps and jingling dog collar approaching and turned to see Sophie standing by the couch, her eyes wide with full-on Edison manipulation. Annie felt a surge of pride that took her by surprise.

_“Daddy, I need a hug.”_

Instantly, Jeff almost literally melted, and he motioned and then picked her up and placed her on his lap. Ruffles jumped up on the couch in between them, and Annie pet her scruff.

“Of course you can get a hug.” Jeff held Sophie close, and Sophie hummed with contentment. Or perhaps it was Jeff, Annie couldn’t really tell.

_“Now Mama.”_

Jeff handed her over, but Annie realized she couldn’t pull her completely on her lap, as the bump didn’t allow for much room. Sophie scrunched up her face in frustration, and Jeff did his best to scoot over, grabbing Ruffles and placing her to his other side and then holding Sophie mostly on his lap so that she could reach over for Annie.

It was an awkward scramble, but they managed, and Sophie seemed pleased as she pressed her head against Annie’s chest.

“I love you, sweetie.”

 _“Dino saided his baby cries all the time.”_  Sophie lifted her head and stared at Annie, waiting for confirmation. Her eyes shifted toward the bump and then back.

Annie exchanged guilty looks with Jeff, who was running his hand through his hair, and said, “Yes, babies cry a lot. Especially when they’re really little.”

_“Will my baby cry too?”_

“Yes, sweetie. But then they’ll get bigger and won’t cry as much.”

Sophie nodded in thought.

Jeff scooped her completely on his lap and said with full confidence, “You cried a lot too you know, but now you’re a big girl. One day the baby will be just as big as you. Can you imagine? You’re going to have someone to play with all the time. I never had a little baby brother or sister. That’s really cool that you’re going to have one.”

Sophie smiled at this, and nuzzled her head down on Jeff’s chest. It was then that Annie realized the baby kangaroo was sticking out of the back of her pants. Jeff noticed this at the same time and stifled a laugh.

“You have a back pouch, munchkin?”

_“Yeah, but I can’t sit.”_

“I see.”

Annie leaned in and whispered, “I love you both so much.”

There were a lot of variables. She didn’t know if the new baby would be similar to Sophie or how much Sophie might be delighted or jealous. Jeff’s tendency toward quietly-panicking perfectionism would likely take many twists and turns and yet she knew he’d be a loving and doting dad to both of their kids. She wasn’t sure how she’d balance attentiveness to her children and what it would be like to once again go through sleepless nights. But the thought of the precious blanket she was crocheting and the little baby hats in her Sophie box filled her with warmth.

She considered that despite all of the unknowns, she was content. They had their little family, and they would figure out everything together.

_“It’s okay. The baby will cry, but we love the baby. And Ruffles loves the baby too.”_

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

  



	20. Economics of Relocation

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff and Annie become aware of upcoming transitions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Happy New Year. Please be sure to read the chapter before this one. I posted them a few days apart.

****“Yes, I do love you, so much.”

There was a pause.

“I’ll take that as a greeting. Your legs are strong.”

“Just like their daddy.”

“Annie, shhh….”

“I’m sorry, I know this is your time.”

“Eh, I guess you can chime in. Afterall, you’re my lady and also the one growing the human. It’s fucking amazing.”

“Jeff, shhhh….language.”

“Crap, sorry.”

“Jeff.”

Britta felt her cheeks flushing as she listened at the baby monitor she had stumbled upon in the kitchen after she had let herself in. Feeling like an eavesdropper, which she supposed she technically was since they had no idea she was even there, she clicked the monitor to the ‘off’ position and was relieved when Jeff’s syrupy murmurs ceased. As much as she knew Jeff and Annie were sickeningly in love, it still startled her to hear them when it came to the new baby.

Jeff had taken on Sophie with what she assumed was an empathetic and primal response, having been abandoned by his own father. It made sense to her how he would push past what she would think would be his normal inclination to not procreate, for when he started at Greendale he certainly hadn’t been the fatherhood type. But Sophie was already there and Jeff did seem to have a tendency toward leading the lost. He of course more naturally developed affection for her as time went on.

She and Ian had discussed this at length. It was one of their favorite pastimes outside of more indulgent activities.

She hadn’t been that surprised that Annie would want another child, or Jeff would go  along with it, for he was usually pretty helpless to deny Annie (or Sophie) anything. No, what had taken her aback was moments like this, when she realized Jeff was a squishy blob of vulnerability. Sophie always said her daddy was a marshmallow, but up until now Britta hadn’t really appreciated exactly what that meant outside of toddler-speak.

Hell, if Jeff Winger could turn his life completely around, she could.

“Britta?”

She turned away from the open fridge where she had been placing the flowers and closed it behind her. A genuinely bed-headed and pajama bottomed and t-shirted Jeff was staring at her with an expression of incredulity mixed with a sense of relief.

Right, she had kind of broken in.

With a sheepish smile, she explained, “I’m sorry, I let myself in.”

“Why? How?” His eyes shifted around, spying the key lying on the counter.

“Annie gave me a key recently, for when the baby comes. You know, just in case you guys needed me to help with Sophie or get anything.”

Comprehension now dawning on his face, Jeff nodded and ruffled his hand through his hair. He continued regarding the key and mumbled something about having known that. He appeared a little dazed.

His head then snapped up, and he asked, “Why?”

She shrugged. “I knocked, but no one answered, so I thought you guys were out. I really needed to get the flowers in the fridge before they wilted.”

“Flowers?”

“For the baby shower. Do I have to explain everything to you?” She gestured emphatically toward the items she had strewn over the counter and continued, “We have flowers which are in perfect bloom but we can’t let them bloom too much. Then we have the quiche, which trust me I’d rather not be in charge of, but Shirley ran out of room in her fridge since she has the cake and the appetizers, and then of course we have the ice rattle.” She eyed the giant sculpture and asked with franticness, “Speaking of, do you think this will fit in your freezer? Chang screwed up everything and picked it up early. I can’t leave it with Abed cause he’ll do something crazy with it, and Chang almost bit me when I tried to remove his giant ham from Ian’s fridge.”

She looked up expectantly, and was greeted by the same dazy gaze.

With a heavy sigh, a barefooted Jeff slowly plodded over to the freezer and opened it, staring inside for a few moments before slamming it shut and saying, “Nope.”

“Dammit. It’s going to melt.”

With an eerie laziness, he turned toward her and asked, “Why do you have an ice sculpture for a _baby shower_?”

“It just seemed like we needed an extra something.”

With a murmur, he closed his eyes for several long beats and then went over to the coffee maker.

“It’s seven am.”

“Sorry, but this was an emergency.” She considered that perhaps she had been a little rude, but what was she supposed to do when Chang popped into Ian’s bedroom this morning with the flowers and ice?

Jeff groaned, “Eh, it’s okay. Thanks for putting so much work into this. Annie’s excited to have a real baby shower this time.”

“I know. That’s why Nancy and I wanted to make it extra special.” She considered how she hadn’t thought of checking out Nancy’s freezer, which made the ulcer that was likely forming in her stomach burn. It had been a frantic ordeal putting everything together, and she had been losing a lot of sleep over the whole thing. Her inner Martha Stewart was riding high on the hypomanic energy of it all. Even Shirley had been looking at her sideways.

She was startled back to the present moment by a slightly more alert Jeff carrying the ice sculpture over to the balcony. He motioned with his head, and she scrambled to him and opened the sliding glass door so that he could step outside. He gingerly placed the sculpture on the floor and then came back inside, closing the door behind him.

“It’s cold today. That’ll buy us some time.”

“Good idea. Thanks.”

He smiled slightly and went back to the kitchen. She followed him and proceeded to watch him dump a bunch of coffee grounds in the filter and then add water. She considered her options and then began to scroll through her phone. After he turned on the appliance, he shuffled over and sat down opposite her on a barstool.

As she completed her text, she mumbled, “Okay, so Nancy says she has an extra freezer in her garage. She’s going to make sure there’s room.”

“Excellent.”

Looking up from her phone, Britta exclaimed, “I know, right? Can you imagine having an actual garage? Like not even a carport or a shared space, but a structure attached to a house? I know she and Ryan rent, but still.”

He nodded sleepily and began rapping his knuckle on the counter. Something shifted in his expression, and he groaned, “That would be awesome, actually. God, we could use more room.”

He seemed pained, and she quickly said, “You guys are fine though, right? Sophie has that nice room, and hey, where is she anyway?”

“She’s at my mom’s. Sleepover with my cousin’s kids.”

“Oh, I’m sorry I missed her.”

“Yeah, she’s at my mom’s nice big house.” He bit his lip and resumed knocking on the counter.

“What’s wrong?”

He shrugged but ceased his knocking, instead flatting his large hand and staring at his fingers, or perhaps his wedding ring, she couldn’t be sure.

He replied, “Oh nothing, it’s just that as annoying as my mom can be, she has a point. Annie and I should get a house. It would be nice to have a yard, somewhere the munchkin could run around. I don’t know when we’ll have time to get her to the park with the Baby Roo joining us soon.”

Her therapist ears perked up at this information, and she leaned in and asked, “Your mom wants you to get a house?”

Likely sensing the eagerness in her tone, he squinted at her in annoyance and answered, “Yeah, but I don’t want to live in the house she wants us to live in. Crap, we can’t afford to buy one right now, but I’m thinking we should look into rentals.”

“That actually sounds like a good idea.”

He seemed startled by her support, which pissed her off. She scrunched up her nose and added, “I can help, you know.”

“Well, we can’t move right now. Annie’s ready to pop at any moment.”

With a roll of her eyes, she said, “That’s not true. You guys have a few more weeks.”

“That’s actually insanely soon.”

They stared at each other for a few moments, and she considered he was right. She didn’t know much about renting houses, and she didn’t have that many possessions herself, but she did know that whenever she did move it really upset her cats.

Using her most recently learned microskill of empathetic reflection, she patted his hand and said, “Transitions are hard.”

He smiled wryly at her and squinted for a sec in amusement.

“What?” She briefly considered she shouldn’t have touched him. That was like rule number two besides having sex with patients. She moved her hand away from him and tried to erase the memory of actually having had sex with him. He wasn’t her patient then though, so she supposed it didn’t count.

He mused, “You’re very wise today. Usually you reserve these moments for when you’re trying to avoid your own issues.”

“I do not.”

“So, dare tell me what transitions are you trying to avoid?”

She glowered at him, realizing even sleepy Jeff Winger was a pretty shrewd observer of human nature. Her ulcer practically pulsated as her thoughts began to swirl.

“Nothing. Just life stuff.” She ducked her head and began to trace remnants of something sticky (jam?) on the counter. She knew Annie must not be feeling that energetic, as she normally would have cleaned. She supposed Jeff was also pretty fastidious when it came to the apartment, and she wondered if he was little more frazzled that he typically let on. Well, she was sure of it.

She realized she was trying to internally avoid thinking about all of her worries, and that annoyed her even more. She could be a grown up, an adult. Yes, of course she could.

He was saying, “I suppose life is full of transitions, which as you put it, are hard.”

“Where’s Annie?”

“Nice deflection.”

“I really don’t want to talk about my stuff right now.”

“Ian?”

With a grimace, she found herself nodding.

Jeff teased, “Ahh, I see. Shall I throw you a wedding shower?”

She continued to avoid his gaze and was looking for patterns in the barely visible jam. She muttered, “That’s way too premature. I’m still trying to figure out if i should move in with him.”

“Well crap.”

“I don’t want to talk about it right now.”

“Got it.”

“Where is Annie anyway?”

“She’s still in bed. I was going to make her breakfast.”

She found herself smiling a little as she looked back up to see him hopping off the stool. He grabbed the quiche, which she had forgotten about completely, off the counter and put it in the fridge, removing a couple eggs before closing the door.

“You make her breakfast in bed?”

“Sometimes.” He frowned as he glanced at the monitor. He picked it up and placed it in the ‘on’ position.

At least she knew now why they had the monitor out. She supposed Annie might be spending more time in bed when she could, with Jeff on alert to attend to all her needs. It was actually pretty touching.

“How is she?”

“Fine, just a little bit more slower moving and worn out from this past week at school. I don’t want to have her bother with anything more than she needs to this morning, since we have the shower this afternoon.” He paused and then added, “Which I hear is going to be pretty amazing.”

“It will be. You’ll see.”

He smirked as he heated up the frying pan and then turned back to the coffee maker and poured out two cups, shoving one toward her. He raised his cup in a mock cheer and proceeded to sip it with more gusto than she would have thought one would do since it was so hot.

“What about Annie?”

“I can’t have caffeine right now, Britta.”

She turned to see Annie, clad in pajama shorts and a large Greendale t-shirt that didn’t quite fit, as it exposed some skin. Her eyes went immediately to the protruding belly button, the outline prominent beneath the shirt.

Annie noticed and then laughed as she patted her belly. “I know, Jeff’s freaked out by that too.”

“I am not. I’ve gotten used to it.” He pulled out a glass and went to go fill it with water.

Britta was still staring, for it was bizarre. She asked, “So it just like pops out like that? Why?”

Annie frowned and replied, “You haven’t seen that on a pregnant lady before?”

“I don’t think I’ve ever paid attention.”

“It’s because there’s no room for it inside.”

A freaky sensation zapped throughout Britta’s body, a more frequent occurrence these days when she saw Annie. She watched with a mixture of incredulousness and fascination as Annie almost waddled over to Jeff and accepted the glass of water from him.

He gave her a quick peck on the lips and said, “I thought you were going to take it easy this morning.”

“I heard you talking to someone, and I got curious.” She smiled lovingly up at him and then with a wistful sigh turned away and said, “Britta, can you come with me over here? I can’t sit on those high stools these days.” She slowly walked toward the dining area. Jeff sprang into action and shuffled over, moving out the chair for her and taking the glass from her. He threw Troy’s cushion on the chair and assisted her in sitting down.

Annie smiled sweetly and said, “Thank you.”

Jeff gave her another kiss and then headed back into the kitchen.

Britta walked over and sat down opposite, continuing to stare at Annie’s belly. Annie rolled her eyes in response but with a light laugh, and then she leaned completely back, which just emphasized the whole thing even more.

“I’m really excited for the shower today. I can’t tell you how much it means to me that you and Nancy are doing this.”

“Crap, Nancy.” Britta jumped up and ran over to the counter. She picked up her phone and noticed Nancy had texted back a few minutes ago, but for some reason she hadn’t heard it.

With a fist pump, she exclaimed, “Yes! Crisis inverted!”

 

X

X

“This is so wonderful, dear. A baby shower for my second grandchild with all of your friends.” Dorie’s twinkling eyes roved over the crowd in the study room, and she gripped Jeff’s arm tighter.

“Mom, you know most everyone here already. And you were just in here a couple weeks ago.”

“Yes, but I know this is your special place with your friends and I feel so honored to be included.”

He knew she was being sincere, that him allowing her into his life more fully had touched her. Of course that had been no question that they would invite her to the shower, and all of their friends seemed to adore her if not be fascinated by her. His eyes went to Britta and Ian who appeared to be both setting up appetizers as well as studying them in a not so intrusive way. He stuck out his tongue and Britta immediately looked down while Ian continued his gaze and merely wiggled his eyebrows.

Turning back to his mother, Jeff said, “Actually, I kind of wish we could do this party somewhere else, but there wasn’t any room…” he trailed off as he remembered his mother’s offer to host it at her house due to space issues. After his confession that he actually hated her house, she had rescinded the invitation, not in a punishing way but more in what he suspected was an attempt to be sensitive to his feelings.

They still hadn’t talked about it much, the fact that he had been honest with her about the effect of the house on him and of all the dreadful memories. She had mentioned something at the time about perhaps making a change, but she hadn’t included him in any further thoughts on that matter.

He quickly added, “I’m sorry, I know you offered, and we really appreciated it.”

She smiled tightly. “It’s okay, dear. Actually, I was going to tell you soon, but well, I’m actually considering moving.”

“Yeah?”

She nodded. “I spoke to Maybelle’s real estate agent, and they told me I can get a good price for the place if I put it up for sale in the early spring. Why, with Maybelle moving too they’ll really be no reason for me to stay.”

“Yikes, mom. Are you sure?”

“I think so. I’ll probably start packing up some things soon, and since I won’t be hosting Christmas this year, they’ll be no reason to keep the house tidy for guests.”

“You’re not hosting Christmas?”

She looked up at him with an intense expression and explained, “Well dear, since you and Annie will have just had a baby or will be imminently expecting one, I don’t think you should make the hour drive to see me. It wouldn’t be sensible. And I don’t feel like hosting Christmas without all of you. Depending on how things go, perhaps I’ll spend a little time in Greendale and can help you out with Sophie or the new baby, if you need me.”

“Mom, that would be great.”

“And I know not to bother staying with you of course, that would be much too crowded. Buzz says I’m welcome to his place.”

The implication hung in the air, and Jeff wondered exactly what his mother was considering for living arrangements. He bit his lip and then asked, “So um, what about all the critters?”

“Oh, Hank likes Buzz’s house very much. He’s been there for weekends sometimes. I can have a neighbor feed the cats and bunnies while I’m here.”

Well that kind of settled what he had suspected for sometime.

“Sooo, Buzz has a house?”

“A small one, yes. He’s thinking of getting something else.”

“Greendale?”

“Actually, he lives in Riverside.”

Jeff nodded and grabbed a cup of punch, which contained floating slices of oranges. He sniffed it and was treated to a lovely bouquet of citrus and was that thyme?

He handed her the cup and said,“It might be nice to have you live closer by us, you know. I love you, mom.”

Her expression was slightly panicked, but they were interrupted by the Dean, who swished over, dressed in his finest white poofy skirt.

“Well, I am Dean-lighted you’re here, Mrs. Winger! It’s so good to see you again. Why I believe the last time was at Jeff’s graduation party? As you can see, I have a hard time getting rid of him and Annie!” His voice raised a little too much at the end of the sentence and then cracked. Before anyone could do anything, he burst into sobs.

“I can’t lose Annie! Oh my god, I’m going to drown in all my tears!”

Jeff lightly patted him on the shoulder.

 

X

X

Annie couldn’t help but hear the Dean’s sobs but was comforted by the fact that Jeff and Dorie seemed to be handling the situation. She had been attempting to assuage the Dean’s fears over this past semester, but it was now mid November and the fact that she would be leaving just as soon as finals were over was starting to sink in. Although she told him she’d help him find a replacement, so far had been extremely picky on that front. She had been pushing for Florence, a nice and steady older woman who used to work as a secretary at Greendale High, but the Dean didn’t seem quite ready to commit.

“What on earth is that weird little man doing now?”

She sighed as she turned to see her mother giving a sharp look over at the Dean. “Mom, he’s just having a hard time with me leaving.”

“Well of course he is, sweetie. I am sure you are excellent at your job.”

Annie murmured her agreement before showing her mother over to the study table. “This is where I usually sit.”

Her mother smiled politely but clearly wasn’t interested, which she had kind of suspected would be the case, but that part of her who wanted her mother’s validation just would never die. She was at least better at not clinging to it these days.

“I’ve been here before you know, when Annie first called me. This is the room where I met Sophie.”

Annie glared at Anthony, who had been following them around, an oddly wrapped present under his arm. She had told him he could put it on the gift table, but he had refused saying he wanted to keep an eye on it. He also had some gummy bears sticking out of his pocket which she assumed/hoped were for Sophie.

Her mother tightened her smile, and Annie felt a little bad. She considered things between them had been going really well lately. It was feeling very normal to have her mother at her baby shower, something she wished could have happened the first time.

She said, “Mom, I’m sorry I didn’t have you meet Sophie with Anthony. You’ve been such a good Bubbe to her, and I’m really happy you’re here with me right now. I know you don’t believe in baby showers, so I appreciate how much effort you’ve put in being here today for me.”

Her mother seemed startled by this, and she lightly touched her chest and looked down for a few moments before resuming eye contact. She said, “Of course, sweetie.” She then placed her hand on Annie’s belly, something Annie had been getting a little more comfortable with lately at least with her mother, and added, “And I can’t wait to meet this little sweetie right away. You’ll call me as soon as you’re in labor?”

Annie had the flashing thought that she was glad she had worn her new dark purple maternity dress today, the one her mother had gotten for her in preparation for special occasions. It was skimming her bump just so, and she felt very stylish in it.

She replied, “Of course.”

“Great. And I’ll come right over with anything you’ll need. Why, I’ve been compiling some soothing music for you, and I found some very soft but sensible hair ties. You’ll need them, you know. We don’t want your pretty hair getting all in your face.”

It occurred to Annie in that moment that her mother thought she was actually going into the delivery room with her. She supposed she should have clarified everything before, but she had assumed her mother wouldn’t want to get _that_ close.

“Um, Mom, thank you so much, but I just want it to be me and Jeff in the delivery room.”

“Oh, I see.”

“Mom, please understand. I want it quiet and private.”

“You remember from last time it’s not all that private, don’t you sweetie? Why, everyone will be just looking up there anyway, and you won’t care. You’ll just want that baby to come out, and then you’ll want your mother.”

“I did want my mother last time. Luckily I had Nancy.”

They both held their stares, and she supposed both of them felt a mixture of anger and guilt.

“Well, I would have been there had you told me I was actually going to be a Bubbe. No, you just ran off.”

“I didn’t know you’d want to be a Bubbe. You told me to…”Annie felt the tears rush up, and she stepped aside, letting her mother’s hand fall from her belly. She tried to choke down the sobs, but it was no use. Her stupid hormones wouldn’t be controlled. She was vaguely aware of her mother pulling her into an embrace, and Jeff’s voice.

“Rachel, please step back. Annie, here…”

“No, Jeff, my daughter needs me.”

“Rachel.”

Through her sobs, Annie managed, “It’s okay, Jeff.” She allowed her mother to hold her, and the tears eventually stopped.

 

X

X

The shower proceeded, much to Jeff’s amusement and boredom. He was grateful that all of their loved ones had gotten together and of course purchased or made them items for the baby, but he always found showers tedious. Before age thirty he had never actually attended one, but since Greendale he had been at Shirley and Andre’s in the same room and Nancy and Ryan’s. He was grateful that Thanos and Daniela hadn’t had a shower for their second baby and that Holly’s had been only for women. There wasn’t much to do except allow Annie to open everything in her meticulous way and then exclaim his thankfulness.

He was also holding a squirming Sophie at various points, which made things a bit more fun. Sophie was alternating between exclamations of delight at the gifts and mentions of being hungry. She would then jump off of him and find some other hapless victim and after a cuddle and ask them to get her some cake, which they had not yet cut.

He was pretty touched by some of the presents, actually. Their mothers, Shirley/Andre, and Nancy/Ryan had of course all given them sensible or expensive items. So far they had received a vibrating baby chair, baby swing, and a feeding set up thingy which he didn’t quite understand but Annie seemed to. Their other friends had gotten them a variety of adorable outfits in shades of green or yellow, a baby rattle/clicky thing, and diapers. He was really glad about the diapers part. Those things were expensive and he knew they’d need a ton of them.

There were a few different gifts of course. Kevin had presented them with a frog, but Annie had tactfully explained that babies couldn’t play with frogs, and then he murmured his understanding and said he should have gone with the frog embossed bib. Sophie had pouted and wanted to keep the frog, and they knew they’d have to deal with that for a while afterward. The Dean had gotten them the most adorable bright pink poofy baby dress, and they had to stop an exasperated Rachel from explaining that the baby’s sex was unknown. Troy and Abed had purchased a movie pass, and when they expressed confusion, Abed explained it was so they could take Sophie to the movies, as the movies were really important and she cuoldn’t play with a small baby. Annie had awwed over this statement and then noticed the package also contained a tiny Inspector Spacetime robe.

“So they can travel with us. No one will confuse me with the little Inspector of course, as I’m about six feet tall.”

“Thanks, Abed.”

Annie opened up the next gift, another one from Rachel, and cooed, “Awww.” She held up a tiny light green cap.

“I crocheted that myself.” Rachel puffed out her chest and clapped her hands.

“Thank you, Mom.”

“Yes, thanks Rachel.”

“Annie, open mine.” Anthony shoved forward his present, and Annie smiled politely and took it.

Jeff leaned over to see, and it became apparent soon enough that inside were several balled up white onesies and a stack of index cards. There was also a package of plastic-wrapped homemade chocolate chip cookies.

“These are so great, Anthony. We’ll need lots of onesies.”

“Yeah, I know. That’s why I got them for you.”

Annie flipped through the cards and read some of them aloud, “A coupon for... babysitting the baby, babysitting Sophie, running to the store to get supplies, holding the baby, diapering the baby, washing the baby, walking Ruffles, taking Sophie to the park….” She stopped and looked up, wiping away a tear. “These are so sweet. Thank you.”

Anthony shrugged.

“And the cookies?” Jeff asked the question, not sure if he was missing something.

“I made those for Sophie. But don’t let her eat them all at once. Sugar does weird things to kids.”

Jeff chuckled and allowed Sophie to peek over into the package.

_“Oooooh, thank you, Uncle Anthony! Can I eat one right now? No one wants to give me any cake.”_

Jeff placed a kiss on her head and said, “We’re going to have cake right now, munchkin, but we’ll take these home and you can have them later.”

_“Okay.”_

He winked his thanks to Anthony, who was jamming a fistful of gummy bears into his mouth.

 

X

X

X

“Well, that was grand.”

Annie looked up at Jeff and smirked. “Admit it. You had fun.”

“Yeah, it wasn’t so bad.” He pushed the giant box containing the swing off toward the far living room wall, wondering where he was going to put the thing. He supposed soon enough they’d need to take it out of the box and use it.

He gulped, a rush of both giddiness and terror overtaking him. All of the little precious baby things they received today highlighted the fact that baby Winger number two was arriving very soon. He reached for the vibrating chair box, and Annie gently stopped him, placing her hand on his arm.

“We can organize this stuff later.”

“Since when do you put off organizing?”

“Since I’m thirty five weeks pregnant.” She sighed and motioned for him to sit with her. He immediately acquiesced, as he was doing for anything she asked of him these days. He assisted her in moving to a reclining position and gave her the pillows she was using for support behind her lower back and her neck and then grabbed her feet and pulled them onto his lap. He knew better than to massage too deeply, as Annie had explained that could trigger early labor. The thought of that drove him a little nuts.

She was so delicate.

“Are my feet swollen?”

He inspected and pronounced, “Not really.”

“Good.” She signed and closed her eyes.

He had been asking how to be helpful, and she and the doctor had told him to be alert for signs of overt swelling or other indicators of preeclampsia. As much as having a newborn in his care was scary, the thought of Annie being pregnant for the next few weeks made him eager to get this part over with. She was getting more and more uncomfortable, and from what Troy told him, she had been having to leave class several times a period in order to go to the bathroom or stand and move around. Yet, she was still pulling out As, something that never ceased to amaze him.

_“Mama, can I have a cookie now?”_

Sophie had managed to sneak up on them. Jeff could have sworn she had been in her room.

Annie murmured through closed eyes, “Not now, sweetie. Remember, we just had cake. You can have a cookie tomorrow.”

_“Can I have a cookie for breakfast?”_

“Yes.”

“Annie.”

“Yes, she can, Jeff.” She opened her eyes and smiled slightly at him, before wincing as the kicking started.  “Oooh, that’s a big one!”

Sophie, now somewhat pleased at having been promised an extra delicious breakfast, attempted to climb up, and Jeff snapped, “No, don’t jump on Mama!”

_“Sorry.”_

“It’s okay, but you have to remember Mama’s not feeling well.”

_“Because the baby hurts her?”_

“The baby doesn’t hurt me, sweetie, but I’m just really tired and the baby’s moving around a lot right now and it feels weird.”

Sophie frowned and touched Annie’s belly, her eyes widening before she let her hand drop and asked, _“Can I go to a movie?”_

Jeff sighed, “We can put on a movie, sure.”

 _“No, I wanna see Frozen. It’s in the movie place with the big..”_ she gestured with her hands, expanding them upward and out, _“tee-vee. Dino saided it’s soo good.”_

“Well, Dino hasn’t seen it yet because it doesn’t come out in the movie theatre until the night before Thanksgiving.”

He surprised himself that he knew that one. Talking to Abed had its advantages.

_“When’s Thanksgiving?”_

“Soon, a couple weeks.”

_“Can we go see Frozen?”_

“Look, I…”

Annie interjected, “Jeff, is she talking about that Disney movie they keep advertising?”

“Yeah.”

 _“Yes, it’s Disney, Mama. I wanna see it.”_ Sophie pulled up her little lounge chair they kept in the living room and moved it almost comically close to the couch, looking up at Annie with soulful eyes.

Disney eyes.

Annie smiled and said as she reached to pet Sophie’s waves, “Jeff, maybe you should take her to see it when it comes out. That would be good bonding time for you two.”

“Sure, great idea.”

_“And you come too, Mama.”_

“Sweetie, I don’t think I can sit through a movie right now, I’m so uncomfortable. I have to get up all the time and go to the bathroom. But Daddy can take you.”

Sophie seemed to digest this and her gleeful expression faltered for a moment before she seemed to recover and she looked over at Jeff.

“We’re gonna have so much fun, munchkin. We can ask if Dino wants to come with us.”  He would have offered baby Ben too, but he was a little too young for Jeff to feel comfortable having in movie theatre. He was serious these days but hardly insane. Inviting Sam would pose a similar issue, as Braden was also on the young and squirmy side. Dino was well-behaved for the most part.

_“I don’t want Dino to come. I want you all by myself.”_

“Well then.”

 

X

X

After putting on the Little Mermaid for Sophie, who had been requesting it almost daily since Halloween, they settled back and looked through some of the outfits they had received, making use of the glow of the television. Sophie sat in her chair with Ruffles by her side and chewing on her tiny green dragon.

“Isn’t this one so cute?” Annie whispered as she held up a set of plaid overalls.

“Yes, adorbs.” He picked up another outfit, this one consisting of a Baby Greendale sweatshirt. He continued to amaze him how the Dean got stuff like this. He wondered if he meant the kid should wear it with the dress. He tilted his head and considered it before pronouncing it a clashing nightmare.

“Um, Annie, I’ve been thinking.”

“Hmm?” She gave the overalls a kiss for some reason and began to refold them, making sure to place a sticker with “six months” on it, likely so that they could find it with ease when the time came to use it.

She was so organized and efficient, and the old him would have been annoyed by it but the new him admired it. He figured in the spirit of efficiency it would be best to broach the subject he had been considering for some time.

“I think we should rent a house somewhere in Riverside.”

She patted the folded up outfit and turned to regard him with a sly smile. “A house? In Riverside?”

“I know we were thinking maybe Denver, and I suppose if Riverside is a disaster for some reason, we can always move, but yeah. It’s closer to my work and Sophie’s preschool. You won’t be even going to Greendale for awhile, right?”

“Only for my weekly internship check-in seminar and advising meetings, starting in the fall.”

“Right, so wouldn’t it make more sense for us all to be in Riverside?”

She took a few moments to think, and then nodded. With a tender expression, she replied, “It would. But are you sure you want us to get a house?”

“I think it would be wise. We can let Sophie out into the yard whenever she wants.”

“Like a dog?”

“Yeah, and Ruffles too.” He smirked, and she laughed.

_“Shh! Mama and Daddy! Don’t talk!”_

“Sorry sweetie.”

They resumed their hushed tones.

“I really like the idea of a house, but I don’t think it’s a good time for us to move. I’m as big as a whale.” She gestured toward her belly.

“I want the record to reflect that I was not the one who used the word ‘whale.’ I agree not right this second, but I think we should look seriously in the spring.”

_“I love Ariel. She’s talking to Sebastian, Daddy. So you don’t talk, okay? Pleeease?!?”_

He smiled guilty as Sophie glared back at him.

 _“Thank you for listening, Daddy sweetie.”_ Sophie smiled triumphantly and turned back to the television.

Annie giggled and leaned in to whisper, “I think she would like a place to watch her movies where we aren’t right on top of each other.”

“True.”

She picked up her crocheting materials, and Jeff couldn’t help but marvel at the progress she had made over the past couple weeks. It looked to be almost complete, at least from what he could tell. It was a light buttery yellow, a term he didn’t know until they had been looking at more gender-neutral baby gear.

“I’m almost done!”

“I don’t know how you do it between school and work and being an amazing mother. Oh, and wife. You’re a pretty great wife.”

Blushing and preening a little, she began to crochet and explained, “I told you I’d finish this. And once it’s done, I can finish my final papers and then begin cramming for finals. I want everything ready, and hopefully I’ll have a couple weeks after exams to relax and just get some rest.”

“Hopefully.”

“Yes, hopefully.”

  
  
  
  
  


 

 


	21. Advanced Anthropology Rituals

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie and Jeff celebrate their first wedding anniversary

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For some reason, this was one of my favorite chapters to write.

 

Jeff sat at his desk in front of his computer, trying to think about the best course of action for tonight. Afterall, it was their first wedding anniversary and he wanted it to be special, but at the same time he knew Annie was not feeling the greatest and was in the middle of stressing over school papers and getting a jump on studying for finals. Her studiousness never ceased to fascinate him, but he hoped for the sake of their children that his laziness would temper some of Annie’s tendencies.

Who was he kidding, he wasn’t exactly complacent when it came to things that actually mattered to him. Annie was one of those things.

He hit confirm for their reservation, figuring the worst that would happen would be that they’d have to bail on it. What they were thinking getting married right before Thanksgiving he’d never know, for it was kind of a crazy time in terms of the school semester. It was also immediately before his birthday, and the way things were going this year, he wasn’t sure if they were going to celebrate.

He leaned back in his chair and picked up his phone, pressing the speed dial for the florest, for having given up his aversion to flowers he thought he’d better have handy at all times. He figured Annie could use some perking up.

“Good morning. I’d like to make sure everything’s ready for the bouquet I ordered. Name’s Winger.”

“Why yes, Mr. Winger. We have the purple lilies with the additions we discussed all together. You’re welcome to pick them up at any time.” 

“Great. I’ll swing by around four.”

“I must say, you have excellent taste. Purple lilies denote royalty, and um, passion.”

He grinned as he remembered the conversation with the florist a few days ago. She had certainly sized him up, using some flirtation that he only mildly and auto-played into until she realized he wasn’t ordering flowers for his mother. At her visible disappointment, she seemed to rally and then taken an interest in romanticizing his life. What could he say but she had fallen for the now monogamous Winger charm?

Well, he hadn’t ever been a cheater when it came to women, only tests. He had just been a serial monogamist, and for the most part more of the one night stand variety. Until Annie.

“Yes, my wife deserves to feel special.”

“Jeff, can I bother you for a sec?”

Penelope’s loud whisper startled him, and he quickly finished up the call.

“I’ll be by at four.”

He placed his phone on his desk and looked up to see Penelope standing in the doorway, her expression apologetic. He motioned her in, and she walked over, seating herself on the arm of Pierce’s chair.

“I’m sorry to interrupt.”

“It’s fine. What’s up?”

With a heavy sigh, she explained, “It’s Hastings. He’s here and driving me mad. Says he has a meeting with Mark, but as you know Mark’s in Aspen through the weekend.”

“No problem. I’ll talk to him.”

“Thank you.” She smiled slightly, but it was one of politeness.

Hastings was kind of an ass, and he suspected Penelope had put up with him and other difficult clients for quite some time at their old firm by maneuvering away from them, often likely finding that their old colleagues weren’t that helpful. While she had never come to him about Hastings specifically and rarely complained, he didn’t want their new legal venture to perpetuate the crap from the old firm.

With a slight hesitation, he ventured with a serious look, “You know you can tell me if he said or did anything inappropriate.”

She let out a breath and shook her head. “Thank goodness, no that’s not the situation here, but I appreciate it.” She then paused and added with a glower, “But he’s still somewhat entitled.”

“Entitled?” He smirked in an invitation for her to elaborate.

Now mirroring his expression, she replied with more gusto, “Yeah, he’s a grade A level blowhard.”

“Very astute. As my friend Britta would say, you have excellent douche-ray vision.”

She chuckled, and it hit him that she actually knew Britta and was in fact familiar with the inner workings of Apartment 303. With a throat clear, he asked, “Speaking of Britta, how are things with Troy?”

He instantly mentally kicked himself for asking, as the collision of his two worlds was something he was still trying to get used to. She appeared surprised by the question, her brow arching as she seemed to consider it for a few moments.

Finally, she answered, “Very well, actually. He’s a lovely person.”

“And Abed?”

“What about Abed?”

“I’m sure you’ve picked up he’s very protective of Troy. It must not be that easy to be around him all the time.”

At this, there was an odd mixture of annoyance and amusement in her expression.

“I think Abed’s one of the most interesting people I’ve ever met. And from what Troy tells me, he’s been a really good influence. Troy says he’d never have opened up to his true self without him. So I’m very grateful to Abed that Troy’s not still a meatheaded football jerk.”

“I can’t argue with that.”

“And Abed’s your friend too.”

“And I love him. But sometimes I want to strangle him.”

“That’s probably only when you know he’s right.”

He flinched for a brief moment before he recovered his composure, but he knew she had noticed. Her social perceptiveness was one of the reasons he appreciated her, as he knew that was a skill that could not be taught. It was also a quality that he was coming to realize might endear her to Abed.

He  smiled tightly and said, “That’s why I hired you.” Rising, he added, “I’ll take care of Hastings.”

“Thanks. Oh, and happy anniversary.”

 

X

X

X

After stopping by the preschool and making some pleasantries with his mom groupies, he whisked Sophie away and picked up the bouquet from the florist, who he was pretty sure was solidly smitten with him as a now monogamous married father. He couldn’t help puffing out his chest just a little but then resisted the urge to actually flirt and hauled Sophie off to the car.

He was feeling a little pent-up sexual energy, as there had been no sexy times in a bit, and he was judging there wouldn’t be any for quite some time. He frowned as he stared at the steering wheel and began to mentally calculate how long it might be before he and Annie actually had sex again. From what he had read, it would likely be at least six weeks after she gave birth, and even then he just couldn’t imagine her wanting to do that after pushing out a human. Then again, she had wanted to after having Sophie, but that was quite some time later. He mentally la-da-daed over the sperm donor and Vaughn parts before reflecting on their first time.

Damn that was hot.

_ “Daddy, I wanna get something for Mama too. Can we go to the candy store? Please?” _

His attention snapped back to the present moment, and he smirked into the rearview mirror, noticing Sophie’s intense helpful expression from the backseat of the Lexus.

“That’s very thoughtful of you, munchkin. But I don’t think Mama wants candy.”

_ “No, she does. She say-ed she wants ice cream. Daddy, can we get candy and ice cream? Please?” _

“Why candy and ice cream? I thought she only wanted ice cream. You need to tighten up your argument.”

_ “The candy is for me, Daddy, ok?” _

“Gosh, I had no idea.”

_ “But you can have some too, if you’re nice.” _

Suppressing his urge to laugh, he nodded and started up the car. “Fine, but we have to make this trip quick.”

_ “Yay! I love you Daddy. You can have some candy, too.” _

 

X

X

He found himself humming with happiness as they strolled through the apartment hallway. He had the pint of ice cream (mint chocolate chip, Annie’s favorite) under his arm and a bouquet of purple lilies in hand. Sophie skipped by his side, a small bag of half eaten Skittles in her greedy adorable hands. He briefly considered Annie might not be happy about Sophie ruining her dinner, but he was not in the mood to deny Sophie anything. She had given a persuasive argument.

Plus, Britta was baby-sitting tonight and would be the one who was actually going to have to worry about getting Sophie to eat.

He fished out his keys and then opened the door, letting Sophie jump ahead of him, her pink backpack jingling as she ran toward the living room.

He yelled, “Take off your shoes!”

The shrieking giggles didn’t give him much confidence, as he knew she had probably spied Britta. He managed to kick of his office shoes and forged ahead. He then peeked around the corner to see Sophie flung into Britta’s arms on the couch, Britta giving her soft kisses on the top of her head. Annie was seated on the other side of Britta and seemed to be enjoying the display, her eyes twinkling. She then spotted him.

He grinned, “Hey.” Stepping out from behind the wall, he shielded the bouquet behind his back and held up the ice cream. “We made a stop. This is from Sophie.”

Sophie nodded emphatically and began to gush about the goodness of ice cream before showing Britta her candy bag. Annie thanked her and then arched a brow in his direction. She slowly stood. He started to approach, and she waived him off, completing the ever-challenging maneuver and shuffling over to him. 

After she tugged him into the kitchen, he leaned down and gave her a quick kiss, and although she smiled against his lips, he sensed the imminent reproach.

“Jeff, you can’t just let her have candy before dinner.”

“Eh, she’s Britta’s problem now.”

She sighed, but she didn’t seem too mad. Her eyes then darted to the ice cream, and he held it up and wiggled it. She swatted for it, and he finally relinquished it.

“So, the munchkin was right.”

“God, I’m so hungry.”

He teased, “Aren’t you worried about ruining your dinner?”

Appearing not to be amused by this, she proceeded to open the container and deftly procured a spoon from the utensil drawer. Her efficiency was outstanding, and he briefly wondered if she’d ever notice he was hiding flowers behind his back.

Her eyes closed in ecstasy as she put the first spoonful in her mouth, and the resulting sound was something he hadn’t heard in a little while, certainly never outside the bedroom.

“Thank you.”

“You’re welcome. But you should probably thank the munchin.”

She nodded and proceeded to shovel in another spoonful, and he made the decision to pull up a stool and sit, placing the flowers on the counter.

Once she opened her eyes once again, she squeaked.

“You got me lilies!?!?”

He nodded in amusement and said, “Happy anniversary.”

“Oh, Jeff, happy anniversary!” She took one more quick spoonful and placed the container on the counter, stabbing the spoon into the mixture before making her way around the counter to him. She kissed him once again, and this time they took their time, both enjoying the mintiness. He felt the blood begin to flow to his lower regions but the presence of the bump made him stop.

He chuckled as he noted it, his hand going to her belly, and she sighed wistfully.

“I’m such a whale.”

“You’re beautiful.”

“You don’t need to say that.”

Nuzzling her neck, he growled, “I’m so happy you’re my wife. Let’s go party it up.”

She smiled, and he handed her the flowers.

“I have something for you, too.”

“We said we weren’t doing gifts. Just having a nice meal each anniversary, remember?”

She made her point by indicating toward the lilies with her head, and he had to internally admit he had gone back on their agreement, but he couldn’t resist the Annie-receiving-flowers face. He groaned his acquiescence, and she shuffled off to the bedroom, returning in a surprisingly short amount of time.

“This is for you, my husband.” She smiled coyly and handed him a envelope. She then added, “For the first anniversary, it’s supposed to be  _ paper _ …”

\--”Annie, we said we weren’t going to do that silly anniversary year stuff.”

Her brow crinkling with determination, she said quickly, “I know, and I promise I don’t intend for us to get into a silly gift-matching game, but I just really wanted to write you something. Was that okay?”

She fluttered her lashes, and he was instantly helpless. With a groan, he said, “Of course, I’m not heartless. If you want to write me something mooshy, who am I to complain?”

She squeaked, and he smirked as he opened the envelope. He pulled out the card and opened it to reveal a neat and elegantly written declaration, in purple pen. He silently read.

_ Jeff, _

_ You are my everything. The moment I saw you, I thought you were dashing (and sexy), but you have continued to amaze me as I grow more in love with you each day. Thank you for being a loving (and still very sexy) husband. I look forward to many more years of anniversaries as we move forward in sharing our life together, with our little family.   _

_ Love, your equally sexy wifey. Now give me a kiss.” _

He barely looked up before he was smooched.

 

X

It was about ten minutes later, and Annie had gone off to change, strangely taking the pint of ice cream with her, but he knew better than to comment. He ventured into the living room and then proceeded to yank off Sophie’s shoes while she sat on the couch next to Britta, gabbing away about her day at preschool. She giggled as he took off the last shoe, and he gave her a mock reproachful look before exaggerating a sigh and standing.

_ “Daddy, can I watch Ariel and Sebastian? Please?” _

He nodded, and Britta reached for the remote and proceeded to turn on the television.

He explained, “The Little Mermaid. She’s been obsessed with it. It’s likely already queued up unless you and Annie have been watching something.”

_ “Tit-ta I love you so much. Gosh, I can’t believe you’re going to watch this with me.” _

Britta smirked at her and then hit play on the movie. She motioned for Jeff with her head, and he walked over to her other side and sat down.

As Sophie leaned forward and stared in ecstacy at the television, Britta addressed him with a whisper.

“Just so you know, Annie’s kind of upset.”

This was certainly news to him. He had assumed the candy wouldn’t be that big of a deal, and he wondered if Britta misread that interaction. It wasn’t the first time he had indulged Sophie, and Annie usually got over it relatively quickly so he wasn’t concerned at all. Plus she had seemed in good spirits with her ice cream and bouquet, which was now safely in a vase on the dining table.

He whispered back, “She seems fine. What happened?”

“I’m sorry, it might have been my fault, but I thought it was my duty to make her aware of all the risks.”

“Hmm?”

“Of circumcision.”

He closed his eyes in pain, for Britta’s intrusiveness was certainly not welcome on this issue. They didn’t even know if they were having a boy or a girl, so there was no point in thinking about that right now. Plus, he figured they’d circumcise. Annie was Jewish, and it was just something people did.

He opened his eyes and managed, “Why would you even.”

With a huff of indignation, she said, “It’s an important issue, Jeff. It’s genital mutilation and a baby is incapable of giving consent.”

_ “Sadie-baby?” _

Jeff snapped to the awareness Sophie was sitting right there and said with a light tone, “Oh, Auntie Britta’s just being silly. I need to talk to her for a minute. Are you okay sitting here? You have Ruffles….” He then realized with some bafflement the dog was not there and hadn’t been since they arrived. He peered under the coffee table.

Britta explained, “She’s with Ian. He agreed to keep her for an evening lab meeting on campus, and then he’s coming by with her in like an hour.”

_ “I hope Ruffles likes school today.” _

“She does, you’ll have to have her tell you all about it.” Jeff patted Sophie on the head and stood, tossing her the bear which he had just found under the table. “I’ll bring Auntie Britta back in just a sec.”

_ “Okay.” _ Sophie giggled as she squeezed her bear.

Jeff yanked Britta off the couch, and once they got into the kitchen, he hissed, “You have no right butting into this. Annie’s Jewish.”

Britta shifted her shoulders back in that way she did when she was starting to jump onto her soapbox. He readied himself as she said, “That’s just an excuse. And from what she and I talked about, she hadn’t seemed to even have thought about it. I merely brought her awareness to it and then told her she better do the right thing.” Jabbing her index finger into his chest, she added, “If that baby is a boy, he’ll thank me one day.”

“Look, this is...”

\--”She said you guys hadn’t even discussed it, and then I said well I guess that makes sense since Jeff’s circumcised, but then she got all weird and told me to back off, but she was probably just hungry.”

He stared at her for a few awkward moments and then finally asked, “You mentioned I was circumcised?”

With an eye roll, she said, “Well, duh, not like she doesn’t know that, but my point was that you assume that’s what people do and you probably haven’t thought about the ethical issues either.”

He clarified, “You reminded her that you know what I look like naked?”

“Oh, crap.”

He sighed and patted his flat hand on the counter several times, his wedding ring clinking as he considered this information. Annie was more emotional these days, not that she ever really wanted to think about him and Britta having sex, and this was not good.

He managed, “It’s fine. I’ll talk to her.”

“But you’re not going to circumcise, right?”

With a sigh of annoyance, he replied, “Of course we are. Again, Annie’s Jewish. There would be a bris or something.”

“Jeff, please, don’t. Ian’s not cut, and he’s fine.”

“I can’t believe you found a way to make this conversation even more awkward. Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.”

He made a decision in that moment to let it all go. It was something he had been working on in therapy, practicing gratitude and trying not to be bogged down in trying to control people, as he had recently been reflecting on the way he behaved with Troy and Penelope.

Britta meant well, and she was doing them a huge favor tonight. He forced the image of a naked Ian Duncan out of is mind. It took a little longer than he would have liked, but he supposed it couldn’t be helped.

With resignation, he said, “Crap, Britta, I just want to have a nice first anniversary dinner with my wife. So, thank you for agreeing to babysit Sophie. I’ll check in on Annie, and then we’ll head out to our early dinner. I’m not sure when we’ll be back exactly, but Annie’s tired these days, so probably not that late. I’ll text you.”

“Ah, Annie mentioned to me you guys haven’t had sex in awhile. She’s been uncomfortable.”

He startled but then figured Britta had maenueverd that information out of Annie somehow or perhaps even had just inferred it and was gauging his reaction. He smiled tightly, and she seemed pleased, which made him suspect the later.

She added, “But don’t give up hope, Jeff. Annie said she wants the baby out soon, so if it’s getting near the due date and nothing’s happening, you can always try to trigger labor with sex. Many couples do this. I know it may be awkward, but….”

He calmly placed his hand over her mouth.

 

X

X

X

“Happy anniversary, Jeff.”

He smiled across the table, taking in the sight of her in good spirits. They were back at their spot, and he remembered the last time they were here was likely the night they had conceived the baby. He hoped there would be no Mitchell this time and took a quick glance around to make sure. He had requested a private spot in the back with instructions that they were not to be disturbed.

“Happy anniversary.”

Tracing her finger over the tablecloth, she mused, “I can’t believe it’s been one year.”

“Yeah, it hasn’t seemed that long, and yet a lot has happened.”

She grinned. “You and Sophie adopted each other, you graduated, you started your own business, and we’re about ready to welcome this one.” She tapped her belly and then stared down at it in thought.

He didn’t really want to raise the subject, but ever since talking with Britta, it had been nagging at him. The thought she was upset and thinking about him and Britta horizontal didn’t seem fitting with their anniversary. But he had learned not talking about things often made them worse.

Clearing his throat, he said, “Britta told me about your conversation. I’m sorry she upset you.”

Her expression instantly morphed into worry, and she said with a tremble, “She did? Oh.”

He reached over to wipe the tear that began falling down her cheek, and she let him which gave him some comfort she wasn’t mad.

“It’s not a great memory for our first wedding anniversary, for sure. If I could go back in time and stop it, I would. I hope you believe me.”

She seemed puzzled and tilted her head. “Jeff, what did Britta say to you?”

With some befuddlement, he replied, “She told me she reminded you of the fact that she’s seen me au naturel. God Annie, I’m sorry.”

Her ensuing chuckles confused him, and when she had finally banished them, for giddy Annie these days tended to last longer as well due to the emotionality, she wiped a now laughter-induced tear and said, “Jeff, I don’t care about that anymore. Clearly, you’ve chosen  _ us _ .”

“Right, then, err, what?”

Her expression shifting once again back to worry, she explained, “She brought up circumcision.”

“Oh, yeah, she told me about that.”

Looking at him intently, she explained, “ _ That’s  _ what’s upsetting to me, Jeff. I can’t believe some of the things she said, but I looked them up, and she’s right.” She cast him a wary gaze as she added, “If the baby’s a boy, would you be okay if we didn’t circumcise him?”

He was certainly startled by this shift in topic and to her conclusion. He managed, “But you’re Jewish.”

She sighed, “Which is why I don’t think I considered other options. But really, it’s just something unnecessary, and it wouldn’t be his choice, and while rare, there are still risks to the procedure.”

“Risks?”

“I’ll show you some of my research later. But ultimately, if it’s something that doesn’t need to be done, why would we do it to him? But of course, I know you’d probably want him to look like you.”

He stared into her pleading eyes and considered the whole thing was ridiculous. He didn’t care what his son looked like in that area, and he figured he was just fine with Sophie not ‘looking like him.’ The creeping uneasiness of them having not even considered the issue startled him.

Reaching across to grab her hand, he urged, “Annie, I don’t care about that. We don’t have to do it.” He paused and then added, “Crap, I don’t think I’ve actually given much thought to the fact that we might have a boy. I keep assuming it’ll be another little Sophie.”

Once again she tilted her head and smiled slightly. As she accepted his hand squeeze, she said, “Awww, it might be a little girl, and then we wouldn’t have to think about this.”

“She’ll be adorable.”

“And a little boy would be sweet too.”

They both nodded, and he felt some sense of relief. They seemed to come to an agreement on the subject, which he supposed hadn’t taken that long. The fact that he had undergone some highs and lows confused him, but then again he supposed the reality of their imminent arrival was hitting him.

He found himself asking, “How religious do you want the kids to be?”

It was something he hadn’t ever really asked her before. Sure, Sophie was at a Jewish preschool, but that had been convenient, as Rachel was generously paying for it. There were some religious elements at the school, but from what he understood nothing too intense. They also celebrated the various holidays with Annie’s family, but he had always been under the impression that it was more of a way to connect with them. But then again even before the reconciliation, Annie had always seemed to want Sophie to know her roots.

“I don’t know.”

They sat in silence, regarding one another and offering tentative smiles. He supposed they should have discussed all of this already, given that Sophie was already four, but having stumbled into their family, they hadn’t really coordinated much. But it had all worked well so far.

Finally, he shrugged and said, “I wasn’t really raised religiously, but I’m open to what we do with them as long as it isn’t anything too extreme. So far, Sophie seems to enjoy your family’s faith, although I strongly suspect some of that is motivated by food.”  He squinted at her in an attempt at levity, and she chuckled.

“We’ll figure it out, Jeff.”

“Yes, we will.”

She stroked his hand for several moments before she mused in a lighter tone, “Speaking of food, Sophie has some plans for your birthday.”

“Oh, we don’t have to worry about my birthday this year. We have a lot going on.”

She pouted and said with full assertiveness, “Yes, we  _ do _ have to celebrate your birthday, Jeff. It’s important. She wants to go get a haircut with you.”

Feeling his heart swell, he said quickly, ”Of course. I want that too. I wasn’t planning on skipping that part.”

He’d never bail on that part of his birthday. He briefly wondered if the next kid was going to be upset about it at some point. He considered it didn’t seem right to have both the kids included in it, as it was his and Sophie’s  _ thing _ , so he’d have to come up with something else for baby number two.

Continuing to caress his hand, she smiled slightly at it and said, “And she wants to make you a cake, so I’ll help her with that. And then she wants to give you a present she’s been working on. It’s very special to her, so please keep your best daddy straight face.”

He nodded and said, “Who am I to deny the munchkin anything.”

Meeting his gaze, she bit her lip in thought for a moment.

“You’re such a good daddy.”

As long as he had been functioning as Sophie’s father, being called her  _ daddy _ had never faded in its appeal and yet he still semi-froze at times when Annie used it. He managed, “Thanks.” After taking some gulps, he couldn’t help but add, “I’m sorry I got all weird about the Britta thing. I know it’s our anniversary, and I just wanted things to be out in the open in case you were upset about it. She just has a way of taking conversations to a whole awkward level.”

The flash in her eyes indicated her agreement.

“She told me she’s willing to deliver our baby, so I should call her as soon as a feel a contraction.”

“Of course she did.”

Annie’s tightened expression shifted into sympathy, and she said, “It was actually pretty sweet of her. She did a fine job with baby Ben.”

“Still.”

They regarded one another for several beats before Annie made the wise choice.

“Right. I’m having this baby in a hospital.”

They clinked their water glasses in agreement.

 

X

X

Although their anniversary proceeded the way Jeff thought it would, meaning Annie got sleepy shortly after dinner and they headed home, he thought they had celebrated in a nice low-key way. It was quiet, it was romantic, and it didn’t involve any of their friends randomly showing up.

It also involved a little bit of a makeout with some hands stuff, so he had gotten some release.

He was terrible.

His birthday two days later was a little noisier, for it involved a squirrely Sophie, who was giddy at the prospect of surprising him. They went to get their usual haircuts, and then they returned home to find Annie and his mom setting the table for dinner, a big obviously homemade blue cake in the middle of the table.

_ “I made this for you, Daddy! Happy Birthday!” _

He smiled and kissed Annie and then hugged his mom. He then peered over the cake and remarked, “Wow, that looks great, munchkin. Thank you. I can’t wait to eat it.”

She was now somehow standing on a dining chair and gesturing wildly.  _ “You can’t eat it now! You’ll ruin your dinner. It’s blue.” _

“I see. Nice.”

_ “It’s blue because you’re a BOY!” _  She then erupted in a fit of giggles, and he squinted at her.

“I guess. So, boy’s are blue? But can’t girls be blue too?”

_ “No, boys are blue and girls are PINK, Daddy. Everyone knows that.” _

“I don’t know about that, munchkin.”

His mother tapped his arm and said, “Dear, don’t worry about it. She’s just going through that stage.”

“I guess I’d like her to be a little more enlightened.”

“She’s obsessed about knowing if the baby’s a boy or a girl. She told me all about it the other day.”

_ “I wanna baby sister. Sadie-baby. But I love you daddy, and you’re a boy. Mama says baby brothers are nice too.” _

He nodded and reached down to scoop her up in his arms, and she squealed in contentment. He said, “That’s true. And hey, thank you for the cake. I love it.”

_ “You’re welcome.” _

She arched back a little and placed her thumb halfway in her mouth, regarding him with some hesitancy, which he suspected was due to the baby sibling part.

“So, you wanna know if the baby’s a boy or a girl, huh?”

_ “Yes, I can’t wait. I want to know now. I wanna name the baby.” _

He calmly explained, “Well, we do have some names, like Sadie-baby, but we might not know which is the exact one until we meet the baby, so I guess we’ll have to have a little patience.”

_ “What’s pa-scents?” _

“We have to wait.”

At her scowl, he kissed her cheek and then walked her over to the living room, where he proceeded to toss her on the couch and then bent down to nuzzle Ruffles, who had been darting around his ankles for the past few minutes. His mom rejoined Annie in the kitchen, as she went to finish up dinner, and he sat down next to Sophie.

_ “Ariel and Sebastian, please.” _

“You know it’s called ‘The Little Mermaid,’ right?”

_ “It’s Ariel and Sebastian.” _

“I understand Ariel’s the mermaid, but Sebastian is just a crab. He’s not a main character.”

Sophie swatted the remote in his hand, which startled him. He stared down to find her regarding him with an intensity he rarely saw outside of Annie’s latest food cravings.

_ “Sebastian is the BEST, Daddy! He a little crab, and he’s soooo cute and red and he’s a good friend.” _

“I’m sorry. You’re right.”

She gave him one last reproachful look before she seemed to comfort herself with his apology and tapped the remote.

He obeyed.

As he scrubbed Ruffles under her chin, he asked, “Hey, what’s my birthday present?”

_ “I can’t tell you, Daddy. It’s a sur-prise.” _

“But it’s my birthday.”

Appearing not to have considered this, Sophie turned to him and opened her mouth for a moment so that it was a perfect o.

_ “I go get it. Don’t watch Ariel and Sebastian without me.” _

“Of course not.” He hit pause and stifled his giggles as she ran off toward her room.

He felt is mom sit down next to him.

“I’m coming over here for Thanksgiving, dear. Annie and I felt it would be better than having you all at my house.”

He sighed and turned toward her.  “Mom, I’m not  _ that _ upset with your house. We don’t have to disrupt tradition, especially since you won’t be hosting Christmas this year.”

She shook her head and said, “That’s not actually our reasoning. Annie doesn’t feel up to the drive, and well given what she’s telling me, I really do think it’s best if she stay in the vicinity of your hospital.”

He felt his eyes widen, which always annoyed him, but he couldn’t help it. “Hey now, we have a month.”

“Not necessarily. That’s why her doctor is seeing her weekly now, dear. Just to monitor the situation. It could be anytime. She’s almost considered full-term.”

He snapped, “Why the hell do they say full-term when in my mind, that should be forty weeks, which I shall remind you, is the due-date.”

“I don’t know, dear.”

He felt a flood of relief that he didn’t know he needed as she pulled him to her shoulder, wrapping him in a hug. Ruffles moved off toward the side but he could feel her nuding her head against him.

She whispered, “Everything will be just fine.”

“What if it’s not?”

“You’ll be wonderful with the baby. I’ll be around to help.”

“I can’t have anything happen to Annie.”

“She’s done this before, dear. She’ll be good.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

He closed his eyes, and he felt comforted and freaked out simultaneously, probably because he had voiced another fearful thought. The idea of Annie giving birth and something going wrong was terrifying, and the more he read about things the more he had become aware of potential complications and nightmare scenarios. His therapist had suggested he stop compulsively reading, but he just couldn’t help it. But his mother’s touch and calm voice soothed him. He wondered if this was how babies felt and was glad no one could witness it.

His mommy. He had her back.

_ “Awww, Daddy!” _

His eyes popped open and he sat up to see Sophie standing there with a huge grin. She was holding something behind her back but appeared tickled at seeing him with his mom.

“Hey, munchkin.” He exchanged a surreptitious look with his mom, who appeared to have a remnant of a tear on her cheek.

Now speedily moving on, Sophie brought forth a neatly wrapped package.

_ “For you, Daddy.  MAMA, you come in here! I give Daddy his present!” _

Before he could shush her, his mom tapped his arm, and he smirked and accepted the present, eyeing its crisp folds. This was Annie-wrapping to be sure.

He waited, and Annie soon appeared, wiping her hands on a cloth and giving Sophie a teasing yet reproachful look.

“How do we ask for things, sweetie?”

_ “Oh, sorry, Mama. I wanna give Daddy his present.” _

“Well, okay.” She smiled and stood near the armchair, attempting to sit slightly but then deciding better of it.

“Annie, please sit down.”

“I’m more comfortable standing.”

He felt bad once again at contributing to her discomfort, and gave her an apologetic smile, which she returned for some reason. He then regarded his present and said, “Oh, maybe I’ll shake it and guess.”

Becoming even more squirrely, Sophie pleaded,  _ “Just open it!” _

“Well, okay.” He ripped off the paper with gusto, ignoring Annie’s flinches, to reveal a medium-sized cardboard box. He lifted the lid and stared inside at the lumpy clay figurines.

_ “It’s a dinosaur-ama.” _

“Diorama, sweetie.”

_ “Dino-rama. Look, it’s all our people.” _

He peered more closely and discovered there were ten figures, one noticeably smaller than the others which he assumed was supposed to be Sophie. The tallest figure had spikey bits of brown yarn on its head.

“Oh, hey, I like me.”

Now very pleased, Sophie pointed at each and explained,  _ “And this is ME, and this is Mama, and Tit-ta, and Abed, and Troy, and Gampa Peas, and Shirley, and Gamma and Buzz-buzz.” _

“Wow, amazing.”

_ “We in study room at Mama’s school.” _

“This is really good.” Deciding to make a slight white lie, he added,  “Everyone looks like everyone. You must have put a lot of thought into this.”

_ “Mama helped me but I did all of it.” _

“I see.”

He placed the diorama on the coffee table and pulled her onto his lap, giving her a kiss on her head.

“Thanks for a really great birthday present.”

_ “I wanna put the baby in it too. But I’ll WAIT.” _

Smirking at her scowl, he said, “Patience, munchkin, patience.”

  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to all my dear readers for their patience with this story. ;)


	22. The Psychology of Letting Go

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone waits, and Sophie has a new obsession

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to “Community” for the title. It was too much to resist reusing it here. 
> 
> FYI, there are various shifts in POV in this chapter, so I hope it’s not too confusing.
> 
> A bit of a longer chapter, but I didn’t want to break it up. Oh, and make sure to read the chapter before this one since I posted the other day. :)

 

 

 

“Can you see?”

_ “No.” _

“Here, that’s why I brought the booster seat. Let’s just put it…”

_ “No, Daddy, I’m not a baby. I don’t need the seat.” _

“Okay.”

_ “I can’t see.” _

With a weary sigh, Jeff wiggled the booster seat again, and Sophie pouted.

“I’m not holding you on my lap through the whole movie.”

_ “I don’t want you to hold me. I can hold myself.” _

“Fine, then booster seat.”

_ “Okay.” _

He motioned her off the movie seat and clipped on the booster, inwardly congratulating Annie on having thought of it. They had never taken her to a movie in a theatre before, figuring they didn’t want to waste the money when she was too little to remember it, and then having been lazy with DVDs at home. It was easier to just plop her down in the living room and watch her contentedly consume her favorite movies again and again.

And again. God, he was sick of The Little Mermaid. He had it running through his brain at all times, and it haunted his dreams.

“Hey, Sophie I got you the Skittles and look at this huge ass tub of popcorn.”

Jeff frowned over at Troy, who had just returned with Abed from the concession stand. He mouthed  _ ass? _ , and Troy instantly cringed an apology. Luckily, Sophie didn’t seem to notice and eagerly accepted her Skittles while eyeing the frankly huge ass tub of popcorn.

He lifted Sophie and placed her in the booster, clipping the seatbelt over her, murmuring his best parental convictions as she started to protest.

“There. We’re ready for the movie.”

_ “I have to go to the bathroom.” _

 

X

X

_ “Let it go! Let it gooo!” _

Jeff laughed as Sophie continued singing, skipping by his side. Troy and Abed were right behind them, discussing the various merits of the film.

“It’s an interesting subversion of the usual trope. The actual love story was between the sisters. Nice.”

“Wow, you’re wrinkling my brain. I didn’t even notice that. I kept waiting for Sven and Olaf to get together.”

_ “I love Olaf! He’s soooo funny!” _

As Jeff opened the door to the SUV, he said, “Yeah, he was a cute snowman, wasn’t he?” He then bent down and picked up Sophie, placing her inside.

She looked up at him, still grinning in delight. He wished Annie could have been there for her first movie, but alas. He reached for his phone and then took a picture, explaining, “For Mama.”

Sophie nodded and posed for another one, which he then took. Her eyes went to the new carseat, which he had recently installed in a burst of nervous energy, on the other side and asked,  _ “If I have a baby brother, can we name him Olaf?” _

“Um, I’ll think about it.”  He made a mental note to not.

She seemed mildly placated by his response, but then shifted and stated,  _ “But I don’t really want a brother. I want a sister. And her name is Anna.” _

“Cause you’re Elsa?”

_ “Yes.” _

Bemused, he explained, “You know, Mama’s name is Anna. Everyone just calls her Annie. So we already have an Anna in our family. Pick another name.”

_ “Then I want to call my sister Elsa-baby.” _

“What happened to Sadie-baby?”

_ “I want a sister right now.” _

Although the content of her speech was pretty demanding, her tone was almost pathetic and pleading, so he leaned down and gave her a kiss on her forehead.

“Soon, munchkin.”

_ “I miss Mama.” _

“Me too.”

He glanced over at Troy, who had hopped into the other side and was maneuvering his way to the very back of the SUV and said, “I know we said we’d go eat with you guys, but do you wanna come back to our place? I’ll go pick up some Hanukkah pizza.”

“Yeah, sure. I’d like to see Annie. But, since I’m Jehovah’s witness, could we also get a regular pizza?”

“Yes.”

Abed replied from the passenger seat in the front, “Cool cool cool.”

He got into the front seat and closed the door. As he placed the key in the ignition, Abed added, “I’m pleased we’re picking up pizza. That way we can avoid alternate timelines.”

“Of course that’s why I’m doing it, Abed.”

 

X

X

_ “Let it go! Let it gooo!” _

Annie laughed as Sophie twirled about the room.

“I guess she really loved it.”

Troy nodded as he leaned forward and grabbed another slice of pizza. They were seated in the living room, as Annie said she felt more comfortable on the couch. Jeff eyed the bump with increasing nervousness and rushed over to place another pillow at her back, and she smiled appreciatively.

“Troy, can you make sure Annie’s okay at school? Like I don’t care if you follow her around all day. Please?”

Annie rolled her eyes, but Troy adamantly nodded.

He mumbled through bites, “It’s done, Jeff. Abed and I are already on it.”

Abed tilted his head and explained, “We have to split up the duty, because Troy can’t skip any more Modern Moonwalking.”

Jeff merely nodded his acceptance of these terms as he bent down to scratch a begging Ruffles. He tried to tell himself that having Abed be one of Annie’s watchers was a good thing, as he could deliver babies. The dynamic duo had even joined their birthing class a couple weeks ago, an intrusion that irritated him at the time but for now he was grateful. Having Abed brush up on his skills and Troy know what to do to calm Annie gave him a sense of reassurance. The fact that the instructor had been baffled by Abed and Troy continually switching places in their mother and coach relationship had been pretty amusing and had tempered his anxiety about taking in the material.

Having both Abed and Troy looking out for Annie was a good thing. Not that he wanted their child born at Greendale, but given they were in all likelihood conceived there, it wouldn’t surprise him if it happened that way.

He tried to undo that last thought.

He managed, “Thanks, guys.”

Annie sighed, “Jeff, please don’t worry. I have a cell phone, and people are around all the time. Someone would help me.”

He quickly turned to her from the side chair and asked with perhaps more intensity than he intended, “So you do think you’ll have the baby soon?”

With an almost patronizing expression, she replied, “I don’t have any idea.”

He smiled tightly, and she reached to pat his arm. Still staring at her bump, he said, “I don’t want you driving to school anymore. I’ll take you.”

“Jeff.”

“I’ll take you. I don’t want to risk you going into labor while you’re driving.”

She frowned. “It’s not like the baby’s just going to come falling out of me, you know.”

He winced and was not at all convinced. He had seen movies and many sitcoms.

While motioning at Troy for a slice of pizza, which he quickly got for her, she explained, “It would start with a contraction. And then it would be hours of off and on pangs. With Sophie it took quite awhile. Frankly, Jeff, as much as I know you’re freaked out about this, really I think it’ll be pretty boring.”

He arched a brow and stared at her in complete bafflement.

She nodded sagely and said, “With Sophie, I was just trying to keep myself busy between contractions. It was like a day before anything big actually happened, and then,  _ bam, _ she was out.”

“Yeah, and Shirley thought she had indigestion and ended up giving birth in like thirty minutes.”

“That’s just because she didn’t recognize the signs.”

“And she already had two kids.”

At this, Annie paled slightly, but then put on her best rallying face and began eating her pizza. He leaned back in his chair and studied her with suspicion, and she gave him a pointed look which he knew meant he should quit it. So with a heavy sigh, he turned back to watch Sophie prancing about the room, grabbing Ruffles as he did so.

“Hey munchkin, pizza.”

_ “Oh, right! Pizza! Me so hung-ee!” _

“I see Auntie Britta’s taught you well.”

_ “Gosh, I love Anna and Elsa. Daddy, can we go see them again tomorrow?” _

“Tomorrow’s Thanksgiving, kid. Grandma’s coming, remember?”

_ “We can take Gamma, too.” _

 

_ X _

_ X _

_ “Let it go! Let it gooo!” _

Dorie laughed as she watched Sophie do another twirl, and she marveled at how far the child had come. She had met her as a dear baby right in this apartment, having no idea at the time that she was her grandchild. Her first grandchild.

But she had always sensed Sophie was special.

She reached out and grabbed her little hands, allowing herself to be pulled into a most mysterious, but it seemed fun, dance. Sophie’s energy continued to amaze her, as did her singing abilities. She had a lovely voice.

Jeffrey was just being cranky about things due to nerves. He had been telling Sophie to knock it off all afternoon, but she merely shushed him. She knew he was worried about Annie, but it didn’t seem like there was anything to fuss too much about. She was hopeful they’d have a fine Thanksgiving, even if she had to make do with the confines of the apartment kitchen. She briefly considered what it might mean if she were to downsize her own place. She had been looking at some townhouses in Greendale and Riverside but so far hadn’t found anything to her liking.

Hank ambled through the living room, slowly chasing Ruffles, who ran circles around her dear old friend. Hank probably needed some more space, at least a yard of some sort, even if he was slowing down and couldn’t see.

Buzz’s arms wrapped around her waist, and she instantly found herself smiling.

He growled, “Let it go, huh?”

“She’s such a dear.”

He gave her a kiss under her earlobe, just where she liked it. As the warmth spread throughout her chest, she instantly felt guilty that she had been putting him off on moving things forward. But really, living with a man would be so strange after all these years.

“I just finished basting.”

She considered at least he knew how to cook, and he did seem to do his own laundry and kept a tidy home. Why, he needed to with all of his forensic supplies and clippings from past cases. He kept them organized in a giant binder.

He could baste. And keep things moist.

“Mom, are you okay?”

She startled, feeling her face grow bright red, as she realized Buzz was no longer in the room and had likely returned to the kitchen. Her grown son was standing in front of her, holding one of Sophie’s hands. She had completely let go.

“Oh, yes, I’m sorry. I was just thinking about something.”

“Thank god. I thought you had a seizure or something.” His eyes widened slightly, and she realized how freaked out he must have been. Her poor Jeffrey.

“I’m so sorry dear.” Looking down at Sophie she added, “I’m sorry I let go.”

_ “It’s okay, Gamma. That’s why we sing, let it go! Let it gooo!” _

Jeffrey reached down and picked up that dear angel, hoisting her so high that she shrieked in delight. He shouted, “Let’s eeeat. Let’s eeeeat.”

_ “No, Daddy, that’s not how it goes!” _

She chuckled and considered her son was the man she had hoped he’d be, despite everything. She so much wanted to remain a part of his life, to be close, but as she was coming to understand was important to him, not too close.

And she wanted to cuddle her grandbabies.

Really, she’d have to move closeby.

But not too closeby.

She had a feeling starting over for real would be a good thing indeed.

 

_ X _

_ X _

_ “Let it go! Let it gooo!” _

“Shush, munchkin. I call this meeting of the Beautify Greendale Committee to order.”

Sophie frowned at Jeff but obeyed, clutching her bear to her chest as she sat on his lap. Annie wished she could hold her, especially for their last meeting of the semester.

She considered it was her last meeting with the committee forever.

Probably.

Maybe.

Perhaps she could stop by with the baby? Afterall, they met once per week. Surely she could come by here and there. As good as a leader Jeff was, he didn’t really organize things very well.

She preened and started to stand, Shirley and Buzz moving to assist her, which she started to shoo off before realizing they were actually being pretty helpful. She acquiesced and then addressed the group.

“As you all know, this is the last meeting of the semester, and I thought we could recap our progress and then have our party. We have chips and dip and sandwiches, courtesy of Shirley. Thank you.”

“You’re very welcome, hon.”

She continued, “And Sophie made some cookies for everyone, and please note they are red and pink, but they’re actually chocolate chip. Thank you, sweetie.”

_ “I wanna baby sister Elsa-baby.” _

Jeff gave Sophie a kiss on her head and whispered something to her.

She smiled over at her sweethearts and then said, “So, let’s start with the recap. You see these yellow stars capture the paint work we did, which I like to think of as a  _ cheery _ , sunshiney activity, giving something a fresh coat, hence the yellow.” She gestured over to the left side of her bulletin board. “Then we move to the stars in orange, which let’s face it, is a color best meant for  _ peace _ …”

\--“Unless you’re a Catholic in Ireland, in which case you should have probably used white...”

“Shhhhhh...Britta.”

She smiled appreciatively over at Jeff and then continued, “So each orange star represents one of the peace-keeping missions we’ve completed this semester, such as the intervention between Professor Whitman and Professor Cligoris. Good job on that, Troy.”

“Hey, once I found out they both loved ballet, it was a cinch. That Professor Whitman moves like a gazelle.” He stared off for a few moments, clearly enraptured with the image.

She nodded and motioned toward the light purple stars. “And then we have purple, for royalty, which represents the  _ administration _ …” She winced as the sensation hit her, and placed her hand over her abdomen. She closed her eyes and waited for it to pass, which took around thirty seconds.

“Annie, I’ll get the car.”

Annoyed that he was interrupting her speech, she scowled over at Jeff, who has in the process of handing off Sophie to Britta.

“I’m fine, Jeff. It was just a little thing.”

The silence was deafening, and she felt all eyes on her. It was ridiculous.

“Hon, did you just have a contraction?”

She rolled her eyes. “No, Shirley, I just felt a little thing.”

The almost comical yet menacing arch of Shirley’s brow told her she must explain further.

With a slight tremble, she added, “Well, I don’t know. But even if it was, it’ll be like hours.”

“I’m getting the car.”

She shrieked, “Jeff, no! I need to finish my speech!”

The crazed look in his eyes almost stilled her, but she persisted, “Trust me. Even if for some reason I’m in early labor, that doesn’t mean I need to stop right now. It’s not like my water broke.”

The squeaks of the chairs startled her until she realized they were all staring under the table, and then she was once again annoyed.

Abed remarked, “Nope, no water. Someone, check her chair.”

“Stop!” She swatted off Ian as he lunged forward, but he gave her a pointed look and she sighed and stepped away, and he peered down.

He exclaimed, “We’re good. No water.”

“God, you guys. I’m fine.”

Jeff’s bulging eyes almost distracted her as she finished up her speech.

 

X

X

“You’re being ridiculous.”

Jeff kept his eyes on the road but remarked, “No, I’m not. You’ve had a couple more contractions.”

“You wouldn’t even let me have a cookie.”

“Annie, you’re in labor.”

She shrugged and looked out the passenger side window, still pissed about the cookie. She was really hungry and although she knew better than to fill up on sugar, if she were in labor, which she was still doubtful of, she wouldn’t be allowed to eat for awhile. She’d kill for a cookie right now.

“We have more time.”

“No, we don’t.”

“Doctor’s always say to wait until the contractions are closer together. And mine have kind of tapered off.”

“You’re barely thirty seven weeks. Technically, this baby will be sort of premature. We need to be at the hospital.”

Inwardly, she felt slightly panicked, but she knew better than to let Jeff know. He was freaking out enough as it was. The thought of their child being premature was a little scary, but she supposed babies were born early all the time and she trusted her doctor.

She considered she probably should be at the hospital, just in case.

 

X

“Braxton Hicks.”

Annie exhaled in relief at the doctor’s words, knowing that everything was okay.

“So she’s not in labor?”

Dr. Samuelson, who had luckily been on duty, shook her head and explained, “It’s false labor, and it’s harmless. Based on vitals, it was most likely brought on by dehydration.” Addressing Annie, she said, “We’re going to give you some fluids, just as a precaution. And I want you drink a lot of water today.”

Annie nodded her understanding, but then furrowed her brow. Jeff sensed she was preoccupied, and he wondered about the sigh of relief part. Frankly, as much as he didn’t want a premature baby, he was kind of ready for this whole thing to be over with. He have her an inquisitive look.

She explained, “I just don’t want to have to pee so much. It really disrupts me in class, and we’re going over a bunch of review materials right now. I don’t want to miss anything.”

“Ahh, so that’s why you’ve been in denial you’re in labor. You wanted to finish you finals.”

“Of course. And anyway, it turns out I was right and I’m not in labor, Jeff.”

He stared at her strutted chin and couldn’t decide if he should laugh or be furious. He had just experienced a crazy adrenaline spike and now likely crashing episode, and she was seeming very pleased with herself.

He leaned in and whispered, “I love you, but sometimes you drive me insane.”

Softening her expression, she seemed to realize the bigger picture and kissed his hand, which was still gripping hers. “I’m sorry, but I’m just really worried about finishing. And as much as I want to have the baby, I want them to get as much nourishment as they can so that they’re ready.”

“Yeah, it would probably be good if they cooked a little bit longer.”

“After finals would be perfect.”

“Annie.”

 

X

X

_ “Let it go! Let it gooo!” _

Annie cringed as Sophie jumped off the couch, and she said, “Sweetie, no jumping on the furniture.”

_ “Sorry, I jumped OFF.” _

“No jumping on or off the furniture, please.”

_ “Okay. Let it go! Let it gooo!” _

Jeff walked in from the kitchen, a dish towel draped over his arm. She was glad he had taken the lead on getting dinner ready, as she really needed to study. She had two more exams and the last few paragraphs to revise in her Witness Preparation paper. She smiled appreciatively at him, her laptop stretched on his old desk before her. They had shoved it into the corner of the living room once Sophie had taken over his office.

“Dinner’s almost ready.”

“Thanks.” She frowned down at her paper, and he came up to her and placed his hands on her shoulders.

“Anything I can do to help?”

_ “Let it go! Let it gooo!” _

“You could go do something with her, please. Maybe after dinner you could take her to the park?”

“It’s freezing outside.”

“Right.” She tapped her purple pen, the one she held onto when she just needed to think, against a notepad to her right, and considered the options. Sophie was full of energy, and she was distracting her.

As if on cue, there was a knock at the door. Jeff gave her a kiss and then went to answer it. Ruffles followed him, her tail wagging.

“Why, Jeffrey, I’m so glad to find you home! You know, my stove is on the fritz, and it’s really very inconvenient. Why, I thought I smelled something…”

“Come in, Dean.”

“Why, thank you.”

Instantly, she felt thankful that the Dean was their neighbor. Although they often tried to avoid him, right now she was realizing the possibilities. As he rounded the corner, she squeaked, “Hi Dean! It’s so good to see you!”

The Dean beamed and placed his hands on his hips as he surveilled the room, noting the various stuffed animals flung about and Sophie hopping on one foot.

“Well, what do we have here, a playful bonanza of delights!”

_ “Hi, Dean! You wanna dance with me?” _

“You don’t have to ask me twice.”

Jeff came over to Annie and whispered, “You want me to get rid of him?”

“Not at all. Let’s have him stay for dinner and then you and Sophie could go next door with him?”

She batted her lashes, and Jeff instantly caved. He nodded his understanding, and she motioned him down so that she could kiss him.

“Thank you. I just need an hour of silence.”

“No prob.”

Her phone buzzed, and she swatted it away, but judging by Jeff’s reaction, it was too late and he had seen the text.

“Why’s that douchebag texting you?”

She felt terrible, but she hadn’t wanted to say anything because she didn’t want to upset him. She gulped and confessed, “My mom told his dad we were having another baby.”

Jeff pursed his lips and smacked the towel against his leg in frustration. He glanced over at the deliriously joyful dancing Dean and Sophie and then hunched down so that he was more at her level.

He hissed, “What does he want?”

She shook her head and explained, “Please don’t worry, Jeff. There’s nothing he can do to us anymore.”

“I know that. I’m Sophie’s father, and he’s a lousy human being. I repeat, what does he want?” He reached for her phone, and she took it from him, eyeing him warily. He raised his hands in defeat.

“I’m sorry. I’ll show you the texts if you want, but I just didn't want to upset you.”

“Why would I be upset?”

“Jeff.”

She gave him a pointed look and then opened the text thread. As she scrolled through, she said, “See, he texted me this afternoon telling me he knows about the baby, and he was just offering his congratulations. I have no idea why.”

She hoped Jeff would be placated by this summary, but he looked closely at the text and then pronounced, “He’s messing with you. What the hell does ‘Sophie must be pleased’ mean?”

“I think he’s just being polite.”

“Why on earth would he? And what’s this latest, ‘Jeff probably is super excited to have his own kid’?”

She felt the burning in her chest, which was likely a mixture of heartburn and rage. She finally read the latest text, which had come after she had responded with a mere, ‘thank you,’ and she became even more furious.

How dare he insinuate Sophie wasn’t Jeff’s child, after all this time?

“I hate him.”

Jeff now squatted down and pulled her to him, and she let the tears fall. She continued mumbling, “I hate him, I hate him.”

“You’re absolutely right that he can’t do anything.”

“I’m so sorry, Jeff. You’re her daddy.”

“I know. I’m okay. Don’t worry about it.”

She could hear the Dean saying, “Sophie, why don’t you show me your room?” She was grateful for his ability to read the situation, even if she was a little embarrassed. She couldn’t help crying these days over most things, but Adam still got to her, and she was sickened by the intrusion on her and Jeff’s happy time, welcoming a new child.

Jeff had pulled up a chair and was now practically holding her. He whispered, “I’ll handle him.”

“I’m so sorry.”

“Please, don’t. His behavior has nothing to do with you.”

Her sobs subsiding somewhat, she managed, “I don’t know why mom would tell his father about the baby. Oh my god, I’m going to kill her.”

“Annie.”

Feeling a renewed sense of purpose and control, she sat up fully and picked up her phone, giving another furious look at her latest text before hitting dial on her mother's number. Jeff sat back with wide eyes.

“Yes, sweetie?”

“Mom, how dare you.”

“Well, please tell me what I’m being accused of at least. Really, sweetie.”

Taking a deep breath, or at least as deep of a breath she could manage these days, she steadied herself and then asked, “Why did you tell Dr. Wellson about the baby?”

There was a moment of silence before her mother responded, “Oh, that.”

“Mom, why?”

“How did you….?”

\--“He told Adam, and Adam texted me.”

She ignored Jeff’s sighs and noticed he stood and walked away, but she hoped he would understand. She couldn’t let this slide, despite all Sophie’s pronouncements of letting go.

Her mother’s voice was steady as she said, “I had no idea you were still in touch with him.”

“I’m not.”

“What did he say?”

“He gave his congratulations and then made a snide remark about Jeff. It was very upsetting and frankly I don’t really have much capacity to deal with him right now.”

There was a long sigh, and then her mother said, “Sweetie, I’m sorry. I ran into his father at the grocery store, and well of course we exchanged pleasantries given he also used to date my sister. He asked about her, then asked about you and Sophie, which I thought was halfway decent. In my surprised, I suppose I let my guard down and told him about the baby.”

“Mom, you never let your guard down. You wanted him to know.”

The ensuing silence validated her assumption, and then her mother snapped, “Well, it’s hardly a secret, sweetie. If you were  _ visiting me _ for Hanukkah, for instance, and we're back in Riverside, you could have run into him anyway. And I just thought he should know how much he’s missing out on. I told him Sophie was a fine little girl and was attending school in Riverside and was thriving.  _ Thriving _ , sweetie. And that you were doing amazing and were married to Jeff who had a busy law practice and you all were expecting another bundle of joy. You should have seen his face.”

She closed her eyes and took a few breaths before she responded.

“Mom, I don’t want anything more to do with the Wellsons. In the future, could you please not give him updates? He chose not to be involved in Sophie's life, and that’s still painful for me and might be for her some day. If we move to Riverside, then I’ll have to deal with him somehow, but…”

She squeaked, ”You’re moving to Riverside?!?!”

Her mother’s excitement startled her, and she realized she hadn’t shared her and Jeff’s musings with her.

“We’re thinking about it.”

With giddiness in her voice, she said, “I’ll call my friend Ellen. She’s a real estate agent, and she does excellent work.”

“Mom, we’re not ready yet. I have to have a baby first.”

“Right. How are you feeling?”

“Not so great, but I’m hanging in there. I had some false labor yesterday, but it was okay. I just have to make it through the next three days and then I’ll be off for winter break.”

They chatted for a few minutes about some school and pregnancy related things, and Annie began to feel her blood pressure returning to normal, which she knew was a good thing. As much as she was used to pushing herself, she was semi-conscious of the effect on the baby and had been trying to minimize unnecessary stress.

“So, then I talked to the rabbi and he agreed we could do the bris or brit bat at the synagogue, or if you prefer at your home or my house. He’s very flexible, sweetie.”

Sensing the return of her stress, Annie considered her next options. Recognizing that it was perhaps better to give her mother forewarning, she steeled herself and then said, “Actually, we’re thinking of not doing a bris.”

“Anna Elizabeth.”

 

X

X

“Hey, you okay?”

She shrugged as she allowed Jeff to put his arm around her on the bed. She had her materials spread out, and they had put Sophie down for the night. She was still preoccupied, but she had filled in Jeff  briefly on her chat with her mother and her mother’s reaction to their plan.

“I’m not sure what to do.”

He looked down at her with concern. She explained, “My mom pointed out all of the potential pitfalls of us not doing a bris. She says it’s important for our son’s admittance to the faith, and that there’s only a small percentage of places where they kind of look the other way, and most just say they do but that he’ll feel different. But maybe she’s just being ridiculous.”

He kissed her head and offered, “I’ll go with whatever you want.”

“I hope it’s a girl.”

He rubbed her shoulder and then took the pen out of her hand, placing it on the nightstand. She mildly protested, but then allowed herself to sink into his side.

In a calm and steady tone, which always did help her, he said, “Everything’s going to work out. I think if you’re concerned, you should talk to the rabbi yourself. And you’re right, if it’s a girl, we don’t have to worry about it.”

“I’d like to do a brit bat. Nancy and I took Sophie for one at a place in Greendale, and it was nice.”

“Naming ceremony? That sounds good. Can we also do that with a boy?”

“I think we probably could do something. I’ll have to talk to the rabbi to see if he’s okay with it.”

She wasn’t sure if he would be, but she was determined to make efforts. She couldn’t let her mother’s desires take precedence. This would be  _ her _ son, not her mother’s. At the same time, the thought of her child not fitting in or as her mother said, being  _ rejected by God _ , was unnerving.

“I just hope it’s not a problem if he wants to be Jewish. I hope he doesn’t feel left out.”

At this, Jeff offered, “Why do I get the feeling you’re talking more about yourself than our hypothetical son?”

She rubbed her belly and said, “They could very well be a boy. It’s not that hypothetical.”

He joined his hand with hers and they let them rest, both noticing the movement that had just began.

She whispered, “I just want our child, for his or her sake, to have the best start in this world. To be welcomed by love and family. I want it peaceful.”

She wasn’t yet sure what that would mean in actual practice, but she allowed herself to doze off on Jeff’s shoulder.

 

X

X

X

_ “Let it go! Let it gooo!” _

Jeff cringed once again, but told himself that Sophie was having a good time and the movie had really made her week. She had been telling everyone she knew about it and also the experience of being in a movie theatre. He finished packing up her lunch and shoved it in her backpack just as Annie entered the kitchen.

She was moving slowly, her hand on her belly, murmuring something to herself as she reached for her water bottle. Ruffles trotted after her, and as Annie stopped, she also did and sat down at full attention next to Annie’s feet. He handed the bottle to her so she wouldn’t strain herself, and Annie smiled appreciatively, but the tension in her face was evident.

Ever so slightly panicking, he asked, “You okay?”

She tensed, and he instantly felt like a jerk for he had been asking her that same question about once a waking hour since the Braxton Hicks incident on Monday. She had become increasingly annoyed with him, explaining that she would inform him of any developments and that she needed to study. But Ruffles had been following her around all week, which made him nervous.

He was grateful that today was Friday and the last day of exams. He knew her stress would decrease dramatically after today and then hopefully she could rest a little before the big event. He also liked the idea of her staying in one place and was already considering his options for keeping her at the apartment for the next two and a half weeks while he went to work, including potentially working from home so he could keep tabs on her.

“I’m good, Jeff. Thank you for your concern.”

“I’m sorry.”

“No, you’re sweet.” She kissed his shoulder, and he hunched down to give her a proper one, noticing she was distracted.

She mumbled, “I have to get to campus soon. I want to finish up some things for the Dean and then I have my last exam.”

“Witness Prep?”

“Yes, I think I’m going to nail it.”

Her smile filled him with joy.

“No prob. Let’s get this show on the road.”

He called for Sophie, who as twirling from the hallway back into the living room, and she ambled up and grabbed her backpack from his outstretched hand.

_ “Can we go see Anna and Elsa again today? Please?” _

He exchanged looks with Annie. They had been getting quite an earful of Frozen for the past week, and Sophie had been asking the same question every day.

He squatted down to be at her level and said, “Today’s a school day. We can see them again in a few weeks, okay?”

Sophie pouted, and her adorable blue eyes began to genuinely tear. He mimicked her expression and decided on a course of action he never thought he’d actually prefer. He said, “How about tonight we watch The Little Mermaid?”

That appeared to work, for there were the hints of a smile. She hadn’t been asking to watch that movie lately, preferring to spend her evenings recounting the story of Frozen to anyone who would listen, drawing it out, and of course performing full-on musicals.

“You still like Ariel and Sebastian, right? I think they’ve missed you.”

_ “Yes, Daddy, I do like them very much. So much. I hope they like Anna and Elsa too.” _

He patted her curls and stood.

“Mission accomplished.”

 

X

X

“I still can’t believe he hasn’t hired anyone to replace me. What is he going to do?”

Shirley looked up from her bread and shook her head at Annie’s words, not knowing what to say for a change. The Dean was a damn fool, and poor Annie was so conscientious with attempting to find a suitable replacement. But that girl had more important things to worry about.

She took a good look at her, and as Annie made more adamant protestations of the Dean’s ineptitude and her voice became more shrill, the hairs on the back of her neck began to tingle.

“Hon, do you want to sit down?”

She stepped from behind the counter, giving her best authoritative look to Pavel and Abed, before ushering Annie over to a table. She helped her sit, and then Abed was right by her side with a large glass of water and a cookie.

Appearing to be mildly embarrassed, Annie accepted the water and cookie, and she said, “I’m just feeling worked up. Thanks.”

“Are you done with your exams?”

“One more to go.” Her tightened smile confirmed Shirley’s suspicious.

“About how long have you been in labor?”

“Now, Shirley, please. I’m not…”

\--”Annie, you’re in labor? But you didn’t scream.”

They both turned toward Abed, who was now sitting on Annie’s other side and staring at her with a fierce intensity.

“I’m not in  _ that _ much labor, guys.” Annie grit her teeth and stared down at the table, her eyes widening for awhile. Shirley looked at her watch.

Annie finally lifted her head with relief and said, “I’m fine.”

Shirley had about enough of this nonsense. She said, “You will tell me how often these are happening.”

“Not that often. I’ve got plenty of time.”

“When did they start?”

“About six am.”

“You’re sure it’s not false labor again?” Abed hadn’t blinked.

Annie sighed and took another sip of water before she explained, “It feels a lot different. That was merely uncomfortable, but this hurts. This is how it started when I had Sophie.”

“Baby’s low?”

She turned toward Shirley and nodded.

“Well, I’ll just keep a record, okay. You stay here, and we’ll keep you comfortable.”

“I can’t. I have my exam.”

How that girl could be so fixated was beyond her comprehension.

“Shirley, please.”

She looked into her pleading eyes and then realized how much finishing the semester meant to her. Why, just because she had baby Ben in the middle of the classroom floor didn’t mean the same fate would befall Annie. There wasn’t even a mixed nationality festival today, and the streets seemed clear. She knew labor could take awhile.

“I still think we should call Jeffrey.”

“Call Jeff? For what?”  Troy ambled up to them and slammed his textbook on the table, seemingly very pleased with himself. He added, “I rock. Modern Moonwalking, you are aced!”

His eyes widened as he glanced around his friends faces, and he said, “Oh, shit.”

“Yes, Troy. It appears our dear An-nie is in labor.”

Troy instantly rolled up his sleeves and barked, “Okay, Pavel, I need some boiled water, some string, and a large croissant.”

“You need croissant-chocolatey or croissant-vanillaly?”

“Don’t test me, Pavel. Get me both! I’m gonna need some fuel if I’m gonna deliver this baby!”

Everyone in the cafeteria hushed and turned to stare.

Abed tilted his head and took Annie’s hand. She gave him a nervous smile, but seemed appreciative.

He said, “I’m really looking forward to meeting evil!, or hopefully good!Sadie.”

Annie asked with a slight squeak, “Evil Sadie?”

“I’ll fill you in. See…”

Shirley slapped that boy hard on his shoulder, which thankfully put an end to his foolishness. She would not stand for any more nonsense today, and decided to take charge. She pulled out her phone as she spied Pierce stumbling in.

 

X

X

Jeff sat back in his chair and considered what Mark had just told him about Wally. It was kind of insane, and he wondered if it was the bad kind or the good kind.

“No way.”

Mark let out a low whistle. “Says Alan flipped the fuck out and was suspended, pending participation in more intensive treatment. Wally had enough and quit in disgust.”

“Soooo…”

He leaned forward and said, “I think we should consider it, especially with you needing to take some time off. Wally could pick up the Hawthorne account again, for instance. And he knows Pershing really well.”

“We can’t afford him.”

“Not now, perhaps, but he says he’ll work out a barter arrangement. I’m not sure exactly what that means and was a little afraid to ask, but hey, between you and me, we can probably get Hawthorne to pay him something extra. They always got along pretty well.”

Jeff tapped his pen on his desk and mumbled, “I wanted this to be just us.”

“He wouldn’t be a partner. Think of it as more contractor work.”

He sighed and considered that having Wally Stone sound, even in a part time capacity, might be convenient. He wanted to spend as much time with his family as possible in the upcoming months, and knowing that there would be someone else he could rely on at work to pick up the slack had appeal, even if Wally’s demeanor always threw him off.

“He still with Ainsley?”

“They eloped in October.”

“Of course they did.”

The ensuing awkwardness filled the room, as they both silently relieved that terrible night. Although they were both incredibly thankful to have left the firm, they still had a tinge of a stress response when they thought back to Ted’s yelling and the general intensity of the party.

Finally, Mark seemed to make a decision to take stock of the present, and slammed his fist on his chair arm.

“Hey, you excited?”

“Hm?”

“For your baby. It’s coming up soon, Jeff, and it’ll be pretty amazing.”

Jeff appreciated Mark’s enthusiasm, and he thanked the Greendale stars again at giving him a chance to start over in so many ways. Having a business partner who genuinely was a good person made a big difference. His work environment these days was pretty drama-free.

As if on cue, Penelope entered and made some pleasantries to them before thumping the Pershing file on Jeff’s desk. He thanked her, and she shrugged.

She said, “He’s another attention-grabber, so don’t be too excited.”

He said dryly as he picked up the file, “Oh, I used to be a bit of an attention whore myself, so I can relate.”

“Used to be? Look at that suit.”

At Mark’s laughter, Jeff affected a mock groan and almost stuck out his tongue at him, but decided that wasn’t the most professional thing to do. That being said, he had just used the word whore, and he supposed he should sometimes watch his mouth. Glancing to his left, it appeared Penelope wasn’t fazed and was plopping herself down in the other chair, her notebook in her lap.

As he was about to provide instructions for what to do about Hastings, his phone rang and he glanced at it, knowing it was unusual for someone to actually be calling him versus text.

Seeing Shirley’s name, he tensed and promptly answered it, waving in the air in some attempt to let Mark and Penelope know it was important. He didn't really care. Shirley calling likely meant two things. Either something happened to Annie or something happened to Abed.

“Shirley?”

“Oh, Jeffrey! I’m so glad I reached you. Is this a good time?”

“Yeah, of course. What’s up?”

Her lilting tones continued, “Well, now please don’t be alarmed, but we have a bit of a sit-ua-tion here in the caf-e-ter-ia.”

In the background, he could hear Annie’s voice.

“Jeff, I’m fine! Shirley’s overreacting.”

Shirley shushed her and said into the phone, “Now, she is having contractions, and I’ve been timing them. She’ll be fine for a little while, but I thought we should know so you could come over here.”

His heart rate noticeable, he asked, “Are you sure it’s not false labor again?” He ignored Mark and Penelope’s murmurs.

“Yes, hon. She’s definitely in pain this time, and a mother knows.” Her voice dropping several registers, Shirley added,  “I can see it in her eyes this is the real deal. Get your ass over here.”

He stood, shoving the file to the side. “I’ll be there in a half hour. Will that be okay or shall I meet you guys at the hospital?”

“Judging by the timing, she has a ways to go, so a half hour is fine. Just be safe, and I’ll keep an eye on her. If it suddenly progresses for some reason, we’ll get her there.”

“We?”

“Yes, everyone’s here.”

In the background, Abed said, “Don’t worry, Annie, I’ll make sure it’s good Sadie and not evil Sadie. I’ll check for the mustache.”

Annie shrieked, “Abed, what is wrong with you? Stop!”

Jeff cringed as he motioned for his coat, and Mark sprang up and began to help him put it on.

“Tell Annie I’m on my way and that I love her.”

There were various shouts in the background.

“Now just let me help.”

“Pierce, back off. I’m fine!”

“Do you want a cookie, Annie?”

“God yes, Troy you are a lifesaver! And give me that croissant!”

“I’m here! Thanks Pavel, for keeping me informed! Britta the Gyno to the rescue!”

Shirley said, “Will do, Jeffrey. See you soon.”

He hurried out.

 

X

X

By the time he got to campus, he was sweating and attempting to talk himself down from worst case scenarios. Annie was with their friends in the cafeteria and babies were born every day without any problems. Everything was fine.

He parked the SUV, which he had been driving for the past week much to Annie’s protests. He remembered dropping her off this morning, and the intense expression on her face, which he had thought at the time was due to exam nerves. He now wondered if labor had started earlier. On a hunch, he went around to the back of the car and opened it. Sure enough, there was Annie’s hospital bag with a post-it note affixed. He picked it up and read:

_ Jeff, I hope you’ll understand. I needed to take my last exam! Everything will be fine, you’ll see. Labor lasts FOREVER. But just in case, here’ s a note! I love you! _

_ xoxo _

_ Annie _

He pursed his lips and almost laughed, but he wasn’t finding this very funny. Sure, his wife was intense but sometimes she took things a little too far. He closed the door and quickly made his way to the cafeteria.

Once he entered, he spied Shirley, who was barking orders at Pavel and attending to a line of lunchtime customers. Not seeing Annie or their friends anywhere, he approached and shouted, “Shirley!”

She snapped her up her head and immediately shoved Pavel to the side before pushing her way over to him.

“Oh, Jeffrey! I’m so glad to see you.” She pulled him into a big hug, and as much as he may have secretly liked something like this on another occasion, he was impatient and worried.

As he gently but firmly pushed her back, she said, “Annie’s fine. She’s taking her exam.”

He instantly felt a buzzing feeling.

“So it was false labor again?”

“No, hon. She’s in labor, I’m sure of it. But the contractions aren’t very close, and she insisted, and well I know what it’s like to be bored out of your mind waiting.”

“She’s IN LABOR, Shirley.”

“Yes, but it’s not like in the movies. There are long periods where nothing happens.”

“And then there are contractions, which I don’t know from personal experience, but I understand are kind of a thing.”

“She insisted she could concentrate through it.”

They both stared at one another, and a sheepish expression looked up at him. He knew that she knew Annie was ridiculous when it came to studying and exams, and she knew that he knew it as well. He could only imagine how insistent Annie must have been to have had Shirley allow her out of her sight.

“I sent the gang with her. They’re waiting outside the room, just in case.”

“Thanks.” He bent down and kissed her cheek. “I’m gonna head over there.”

“I love you.”

“Love you too.”

“Go be a mad Daddy!”

“Thanks, Pavel!”

He rapidly swiveled and headed off to Witness Prep, knowing exactly where Professor Scanton’s class was, as Annie always complained it was near the gymnasium. He almost stopped briefly to look inside to see where they had the debate, a rush of nostalgia starting to overtake him for some crazy reason, but he resisted and kept on his mission.

Bring baby Edison-Winger number two into the world.

He figured December 6th wasn’t that big of a deal versus December 25th. So what if their kid was nineteen days early?

Crap. Nineteen days.

He pushed down his nausea as he spotted the rest of the Greendale seven camped out on the floor near the end of the hallway.

“Jeff!”

Troy jumped up and rushed to him, explaining as he neared, “She’s being crazy. She insisted on taking her exam. I’m sorry. We tried to stop her.”

Finally allowing himself to take a breath, Jeff said, “It’s okay. I know how stubborn she can be. Shirley just filled me in. She says she thinks Annie can do it and that the baby probably won’t be born until later anyway.” He paused and then asked, “Right?”

The rest of the group now swarmed around him, all murmuring their reassurances, but none of them sounded convinced. He supposed they wouldn't, given the only other time they had shared this experience Shirley was expelling a human right in front of them.

During finals.

He smiled tightly at the coincidences and glanced toward the closed classroom door.

“When is it done?”

Britta shrugged. “You know how Annie is. She’ll probably finish early, just like she does everything.” Her eyes widening, she said, “Crap, just like having a baby.”

“Thank you, Britta, for those reassuring words.”

“Gosh, if Annie had the baby two days ago, we would have shared an expulsion from a uterus day.”

He stared at Troy for what felt like a full minute before making the decision to say absolutely nothing. He groaned and allowed himself to slide down to the floor, the others quickly joining him, with the exception of Pierce, who remained pacing in front of the doors.

“Can you see her?”

Pierce scowled and once again attempted to peek through the class in the door.

“She’s frowning.”

Jeff jumped up and scuttled over, pushing Pierce aside so he could see.

There was Annie staring at her paper, tapping her number two pencil vigorously against the desk. She appeared deep in thought, and at least it was an expression he recognized. He sighed with relief. Perhaps everything was going to be okay after all. It would have been a shame for Annie to have missed her exam for no real reason, and then she would have been furious for weeks with who knows what make up period allowed right when she’d have to be attending to a newborn.

He smiled slightly at her determination and perseverance and continued to watch, conscious of Abed’s breath near his ear.

“I may not be good with faces, but I think she’s just test-taking Annie right now, not labor-Annie.”

“Thanks, buddy.”

He was about to attempt to do a lap around the floor so that he could make use of his restless energy while he waited, when he suddenly spied a shift in her expression. She closed her eyes and grimaced, her hand going to her belly. She then began biting her lip and opened her eyes to look at her watch.

“She did that earlier, too.”

“When?”

“I don’t know.”

He glanced around at all of them and asked, “How far apart are her contacations now?”

They all shrugged.

“Abed, I expected better of you.”

“I wasn’t watching every minute, because Pierce was blocking me. Thank you Pierce, for being so helpful.”

“Why, I try.”

Jeff shushed them as he once again regarded Annie. She had wiped her brow and was attempting to refocus her attention, but she was shifting and looking upset.

“Crap, she can stop.”

Britta piped in, “Jeff, if she says she can do this, let her do this. It could be hours, it could be…holy moly her water just broke.”

Annie had half stood and was looking horrified, as a pool of water trickled out from beneath her dress, and Jeff could tell she was cursing, even if he couldn't hear her.

He pushed open the door, and shouted, “I’m here!”

“Jeff! Let me finish!”

There were murmurs from the students, and the person he assumed was Professor Scanton, jumped out of his seat at the front of the room and said, “Get out of here! Can’t you tell we’re in the process of taking an exam?”

“I’m Jeff Winger, former student, head of the Greendale Beautification Committee, current lawyer, and husband to this lovely lady, Annie Edison-Winger,” he gestured toward a pissed off Annie as he approached her and added, “whose water just broke, and is in labor. So, if you don’t mind, we’re going to the hospital, and I hope you can grant her some make up time on this exam in a few weeks.”

“Jeff.” Annie hissed as she swatted him off and continued to fill in some bubbles on her answer form, having some difficulty in doing so, as she was hunched over the desk.

With a heavy sigh, he looked down to see she had five questions left. He mumbled, “Crap. Fine.” He then shouted at the professor, “Do you have a clipboard?”

Professor Scanton, clearly in a stupor at the whole display, grabbed one and rushing over to hand it to Jeff while staring at Annie in disbelief. He mumbled, “You don’t have to finish. You’re getting an A anyway, so….”

\--”Shut up and let me finish.”

Jeff wiped her brow and then clipped the answer form on the board and held it up for her while the professor held up the test form. After attempting to demurely step away from the clear fluid on the floor, Annie narrowed her eyes and began filling in the next answer. Jeff silently prayed to the Greendale Community College gods.

Within a few agonizing minutes, she exclaimed, “There!”

“Thank god.”

“Now I just have to review.”

He snapped, “Are you crazy? Your water broke,and you’re having what look to be pretty painful contractions…”

\--”As opposed to  _ non painful  _ ones, Jeff? And just because water breaks does not mean I’m going to have the baby immediately, so just…” She then winced and let out a moan, almost doubling over if she could. He handed the professor the clipboard and gave a curt nod.

“She can go. Good luck.”

“I’m so sorry about the mess.” Annie smiled at her professor, still worried about impression management. Jeff gave her a reassuring pat.

“Annie, let’s go.”

 

********  
  


 

 

 

 

 

  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And we’re almost there! :)


	23. The Miracle of Birth

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Baby Edison-Winger number two makes their debut

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Make sure to read the chapter before this one!

Jeff never did know exactly what Annie was going to throw at him next. Throughout their relationship, she continued to amaze, titillate, and at moments frustrate him. Right now was one of those later times.

He had done his best to efficiently haul her off to the hospital, but she had delayed several minutes, making sure to say goodbye to all of their friends and to provide Britta with instructions for meeting her mother later, explaining she would call her mother to let her know about the labor and instruct her to pick up Sophie from school. Britta had initially balked, wanting to come along to the hospital with them, but Annie had swiftly assured her that her therapeutic efforts would be best needed with Sophie, who would likely be worried about not being with her parents and knowing that her baby sibling was soon arriving. Britta had then nodded her understanding and very self-importantly urged them to leave.

He had been successful in deterring anyone else from accompanying them, although he had suspicions the hospital was not safe from a Greendale Seven invasion in the very near future. He had also needed to literally shove the Dean aside so they could escape the parking lot.

Once they were in the car, Annie had turned to him with an apologetic smile, and he had merely sighed as he started the ignition. They held hands the entire way, not speaking a word.

He gave her a big squeeze so that she’d know that he understood, even if he was exasperated. Annie Edison-Winger was an excellent student, and everything would be fine.

He hoped it would be.

 

X

X

“I’m okay. You don’t have to freak out.”

He kissed her forehead and let out a long breath before searching her face for confirmation that she meant it.

She pouted slightly at him and whispered, “I’m really sorry about earlier. Thank you for taking care of us.”

His eyes going to her belly under her stretched hospital gown, he said, “I really need you to listen to people now, okay?”

She nodded her understanding, and they took a few moments to come to a silent understanding that they were doing this. They were going to have a baby sometime with the next few hours, and it was going to be life-changing. Despite his research and their talks, Jeff didn’t know exactly what to expect, and that terrified him.

Annie had more of a sense of things, but even she was more than a little nervous. Labor wasn’t a picnic, and last time it had been twenty hours. She closed her eyes at the memory, remembering a little bit about the painful parts. It was something that she couldn’t discreetly call up, as it was a bit of a haze since then, but as she had each contraction today, her memories had started to come back. After getting her exam out of the way, she had more time to consider what was actually happening.

She was in labor, and soon she’d be pushing out a new person, and it was going to be both awful and wonderful. Squeezing Jeff’s hand, she was grateful for his presence. To do this with her partner by her side meant everything to her, and she hoped he wasn’t too mad at her about earlier.

“Do you want me to get the nurse?”

She opened her eyes and gave him a puzzled look.

He explained, “Cause that looked pretty painful, and it came much more quickly after that last one. I guess it’s going to be soon?”

“Oh, I wasn’t have a contraction. I was just thinking about something.”

He frowned and mumbled something about her being more communicative with him, and she apologized and they once again returned to the waiting game. So far, the nurses had assured them that it would likely be a couple more hours, the doctor not even needing to be there just yet. That made Jeff nervous, but Annie assured him it was routine, explaining they likely hadn’t needed to get to the hospital that quickly.

All of a sudden, Annie’s eyes went wide, and she hunched over a little, her hand going to her belly.  Jeff frantically pressed the call button for the nurse, realizing that the times between contractions were getting closer.

“I want my mom.”

 

X

X

By the time Rachel arrived, Jeff was kind of in an irritable daze. He greeted her in the reception area and he and a nurse walked her back, her expression quizzical.

“Labor’s stalled. Looks like it’s going to be awhile. I’m sorry to bother you.”

Her head held high, she chirped, “It’s no bother, Jeff. My daughter needs me.”

“Sophie okay?”

“She’s with your friend Britta, just like you requested. Why, at first I may have been slightly offended you didn’t want me to watch her, but I understand. You probably wanted me on deck to help.”

He didn’t bother to correct her, for it would be useless. Annie had surprised him, calling for her mother when they thought the baby was coming very soon. The franticness in her voice made him realize how scared she must be, underneath her second-time birthing bravado. But he couldn’t for the life of him fathom why she’d think her mother would be in any way soothing.

He glanced at Rachel out of the corner of his eye as they walked down the hallway, noticing she wore an expression of fierce determination with a more than a hint of smugness. Under her arm was a large red designer bag. She caught his gaze and patted it, explaining, “I have everything she’ll need.”

“She has a bag of her own.”

“I know my daughter, and I know what it’s like to give birth. I’m prepared.”

He escorted her to the birthing suite. When they arrived, Annie was sitting on the edge of the bed, her brow crinkled as she watched the nightly news on television.

“Sweetie, I’m here!”

Jeff caught Annie’s slight hesitation before she turned her head, and he suspected that she may have had some regret in calling her so soon, now that they knew it would be awhile before baby Edison-Winger number two made their appearance. He tried to tell himself having someone else there to support her took the pressure off him, but then again he wasn’t sure he wanted any pressure lifted.

Annie smiled slightly and said, “Hi, Mom.”

Rachel, now several inches shorter due to having somehow removed her heels, handed Jeff the bag and then shuffled over in her comfy slippers to give Annie a comforting hug. It still seemed awkward to Jeff, but he didn’t say anything and placed the bag on a chair, turning his attention to the television and picking up the remote.

“This is depressing. Mind if I put something else on?”

“I was just going to do that, but I didn't want to walk over there.”

Rachel addressed her daughter, “You really should be walking around, sweetie. Why, Jeff tells me labor has stalled, but gravity helps, you know.”

Annie remembered from her time with Sophie how being able to stand alleviated some of her discomfort as well as facilitated delivery. She motioned to the fetal monitor on her belly, noticing her mother’s scowl.

“We’re going to have them take that off immediately.” Her mother pressed the call button and shook her head in frustration.

“They said I had to have it on, because I’m only thirty seven weeks. They want to make sure the baby’s not in distress.”

“That’s ridiculous. Thirty seven weeks is full-term, sweetie. And if you have these on, you can’t move around. It’ll be awful.”

Annie didn’t know what to think, but her mother’s assuredness gave her some level of comfort, for as difficult as she was, she did know a lot about things. The fact that the nurses had put on the fetal monitor earlier had actually scared her more than she had wanted to admit to Jeff. She hadn’t needed any of that equipment with Sophie, for Sophie was born on schedule and no one had seemed that worried.

She wondered if something was wrong with her baby, and she looked up at her mother with franticness.

“Have they told you anything the matter?”

“No, they said so far the baby’s fine.”

“Excellent. Then they'll be no issue.”

 

X

X

Jeff learned Rachel was a force to be reckoned with, even in a hospital. She clearly knew her way around medical personnel, he supposed due to handling her mother’s care for so many years. She had sweetly but slightly menacingly convinced the nurses to disconnect Annie from the monitor, under the condition they could reconnect at any hint of trouble. Rachel had hummed her thankfulness for their being so reasonable, and then had assisted Annie in taking a walk down the hall.

Jeff picked up his phone and hit speed dial number two.

“Yes, Jeffrey?”

His mom’s voice was eager, and he felt slightly bad that he teased her, knowing she was awaiting news and was on her way to Greendale.

“Baby’s not here yet, labor’s slowed, but everything’s fine.”

“How are you two?”

With a sigh, he ruffled his fingers through his hair, not caring in this moment how he looked. He sat back on the sleeper sofa, making the realization that this was where he was going to be sleeping at some point after the birth, and said, “Annie started to freak out earlier, when we thought the baby was going to be coming soon, and she called her mom. Rachel just got here, and well, she’s taking charge.”

“I’m so sorry, Jeffrey.”

“Eh, it’s fine. I don't really know what I’m supposed to be doing anyway. Rachel has Annie walking up and down the hallway, hoping to get labor moving again. I hadn’t even thought of that.”

“She needs you, you know. Even if she called her mother.”

“Yeah.”

“She does, dear. Of course let Rachel help, if Annie wants her to be there, but don’t hang back. Be by Annie’s side. You can do this, Jeffrey.”

“Thanks, mom.”

“Oh, and just so you know, I’m already in Greendale. I’m with Buzz, and we’re going over to see Britta and Sophie.”

“I’ll call you as soon as there’s news.”

“You can call me regardless. I love you.”

“Love you too.”

 

X

X

When they returned, Jeff stood and took Annie’s arm, gently but firmly entangling her from Rachel with the explanation, “Here, let me get you settled. Rachel, maybe you could show Annie what you brought?”

Seemingly quite proud of herself, Rachel scuttled over to the bag and opened it, removing items one by one and explaining their purpose as Jeff helped Annie sit on the bed.

“Of course, we have plenty of padded hair ties, as I mentioned, so we keep your hair nice and shiney but out of your face, then we have some popsicles and coconut water for proper hydration, an ipod with two playlists: one for soothing and one for motivation, plus…” She smiled impishly and then tossed a tennis ball over at Jeff, him luckily catching it in the nick of time, “for back massage. I’ll let you do that, Jeff.”

He stared at her in wonder, and then began giggling, conscious of Annie’s squeak at his side. Rachel furrowed her brow and began to stammer, when Annie explained, “Mom, I have all those things in my bag. Well, I don’t have a playlist, but…”

Her mother rushed over to hush her, placing her index finger over her lips. “I should have known, you are an Edelstein afterall, and well, we come prepared. And a playlist is essential, Anna. Why, you will need to keep focused.”

Annie smiled and nodded her understanding, and Jeff sat down on a chair next to the bed and began to toss the tennis ball back and forth. Annie had definitely been prepared, and he was now realizing there was more to this labor process than he initially thought. The concept of tennis balls for massage was something he never would have considered. At this realization, he motioned for Annie to sit up, and he began to roll one over her back.

“Ahhh, that feels good. A little lower?”

He obeyed, and Rachel demurely placed her bag next to Annie’s, peering inside.

“Mom, can I have a popsicle please?”

“Of course, sweetie.”

As Rachel handed Annie the popsicle from an insulated baggie, she said, “Just let me know when you want a shower. That helped so much when I was in labor with you, and now that we have you off those awful machines, we can do it anytime you want. We’ll point the sprayer at your lower back.”

Annie smiled gratefully, and Jeff considered this wasn’t too bad. He hoped Rachel would continue to be helpful rather than a source of stress. He exchanged glances with her and tried to convey his appreciation.

 

X

X

He ended up helping Annie with the shower, as by that time Rachel had been prattling on and on, and Annie had seemed annoyed. He supposed she needed a break as well as the relief of the warm spray.

The intimacy of the whole thing continued to astound him. Sure, he and Annie had certainly spent a lot of time in vulnerable positions with each other, which kind of led to their current situation, but sex was very different than this, with Annie being naked and in pain, and him fairly helpless to do anything about it. He directed the water, thankful that the nurses had agreed to this, and he was starting to realize that they had a shower in the birthing suite just for this purpose, which indicated many women labored without the restrictions of the fetal monitor.

He once again silently thanked Rachel for her bossiness.

After the shower, Annie was bored, so they flipped through channels on the television. Turned out they forgot to pack any movies, and Rachel hadn't considered it. While the two of them were talking, Jeff made a call.

Annie was puzzled when Jeff responded to a text a little while later and excuse himself. As much as she was glad her mother was there, she desperately didn’t want Jeff to leave. She needed him close, conscious of the fact that despite labor having slowed, it could really be anytime. An irrational part of her feared she’d give birth without him.

Luckily, he returned a few minutes later, holding a bag and then producing two DVDs, both romcoms she enjoyed.

“Courtesy of Abed and Troy.”

“Awww, they’re here?”

“Yup. I told them to go back home, but I’m really not sure they’re going to do that.”

“They shouldn’t wait around.”

“Annie, since when have we been able to persuade those two of anything? Abed’s probably scouting for his next location shoot. But I suggest we keep an eye on any unknown doctor or nurse that waltzes in, just in case.”

She giggled, and Rachel seemed baffled. Annie motioned Jeff over, and he sat back down and handed her the DVDs. She gushed, “They are so sweet. Thanks for reaching out to them.”

“No problem. We could probably use the distraction.”

“See, I told you it was boring.”

“And now I believe you, my lady.”

She suddenly felt like kissing him, so she did.  He was the best husband she could ever ask for, and he was right here by her side, trying his best to make her comfortable. She felt guilty for having things be so prolonged. As they moved back from the kiss, she glanced at the clock and saw that it was after six.

“It’s been twelve hours.”

He nodded. “Right. You said with Sophie it was twenty?”

“First babies usually take longer.”

God, he hoped that was true.

 

X

X

Annie leaned against Jeff’s shoulder, as he was now half-lying next to her on the bed, his other leg propped on the chair. She had insisted he come in with her, and although he protested and she briefly considered he might be uncomfortable, she felt selfish and wanted him to be as close to her as possible, for comfort.

Although her mother had been comforting in a different way, more from being efficient and knowledgeable, she craved Jeff’s emotional comfort. He kept murmuring reassurances to her, as she had come off another contraction about ten minutes ago, as they started to watch the movie.

“Sweetie, I’ll go to the cafeteria and get us all something to eat.”

“Thanks, Mom.”

Her mother exited, likely feeling like a third wheel, but Annie tried not to concern herself with that at present. She needed them both in different ways, and she was okay with that realization. She had surprised herself with her calling for her mother earlier, when she was scared.

She wasn’t scared now.

Suddenly, she felt a jab of pain and winced. As it continued, Jeff shifted and made a note in the book by her side. She tried to smile at him as a thank you, but it wasn’t really possible. His reassuring hand squeeze helped steady her as she rode through the contraction.

They continued with the movie, and eventually Rachel returned. Annie was thankful she could eat a little something but made sure not to overdo it. She relished her appleseauce and then leaned back as another wave of pain came over her, dropping her spoon.

Her mother pressed the call button, and soon a nurse was there and checking her dilation.

“Well, you’re already at five centimeters. This is active labor.”

Jeff’s breath catched.

Within five minutes, the next contraction came, and then another. She kept attempting to watch the movie, her jaw set with determination. She knew she could do this, and soon it would all be over.

She hoped soon.

About an hour later, she knew Jeff was confused, bored, and agitated, with the contractions coming every few minutes throughout. She was at this time getting a little exhausted, and she knew it wasn’t even the big event yet. Her mother had switched off the movie and given her head phones, and she was attempting to soothe.

She felt an intense urge to push, but knew that she shouldn’t just yet. Dr. Samuelson had arrived and had checked on her before vanishing again. The nurse looked up at her cervix once again and pronounced the latest dilation.

“You’re doing great. Eight centimeters.”

The full realization hit her that she was getting very close, and now would be the really hard, exhausting, and painful part. She steeled herself, and as she felt another intense contraction, this one more painful than any of the preceding ones, vibrating throughout her lower back. She cried out, and she could barely appreciate Jeff’s attempts to hold her hand and murmur comfort.

“I want an epidural.”

“Now, sweetie, you know that might make things more difficult with pushing. You don’t want to dull things, and…”

She snapped, ”Mom! I’m getting an epidural! I had one with Sophie and it made it so much easier!”

Her mother smiled tightly and nodded, stepping away, which annoyed Annie. She didn’t want her mother to move away, she wanted her here.

“Mom, please. I need you.”

The nurses were sitting her up for the epidural, when another contraction hit, and she screamed out, which startled Jeff and he felt utterly helpless. Annie reached for him and shifted suddenly, and the nurses looked at each other and shook their heads. One moved lower to check dilation again, and said, “Nine.”

“Holy crap, we were just at eight.” Jeff’s voice cracked, and he gripped Annie’s hand, her fingernails boring into his palm. It hurt, but nothing like he imagined she was going through.

“We’ll try the epidural, but you have to stay still.”

Annie nodded her understanding, and Jeff moved some loose hair from her ponytail and pressed a kiss to her forehead.

Once again, just as they were about to prep Annie’s spine, she moved and cried out in agony, and Jeff knew right then and there that they weren’t going to do it. This contraction was heavy and long, judging by Annie’s grimace and his likely bleeding palm.

“And we’re almost at ten.”

“Double holy crap.”

“Get Doctor Samuelson. This baby’s coming any minute.”

“Jeeeeeff.”

He held onto her, his heart rate accelerating and he tried to breath. He then remembered and said with as much confidence as he could muster, “Breathe, Annie.”

“I am, you doofus.”

“Just try to stay calm.”

“God, I want to push. Should I push?”

The nurse replied, “Not yet.”

Rachel was now at Annie’s side, taking away the headphones and picking up the ipod. At Jeff’s inquisitive glance, she explained, “It’s time to change the playlist. Motivation.”

 

X

X

After a few minutes of the most agonizing sounds Jeff had ever heard, Annie was finally instructed to push. She kept his grip on him, and he tried to provide coaching while Rachel continually mopped her brow, gave an occasional pep talk about Edelstein strength, and handed her another ice chip.

She pushed, and Jeff closed his eyes in solidarity, hoping all would be okay.

“Crowning.”

Doctor Samuelson maintained her stance of staring up Annie’s nether regions, and Jeff reflected on how he didn’t think he’d be able to do anything like this, if he were a woman. He had politely turned away and distracted himself when Shirley was giving birth, and that whole thing was over in thirty minutes. He glanced at the clock and saw it was eight thirty. Then again, things had progressed with lightning speed between six and now. It was kind of insane.

There was absolutely no privacy in any of this, a doctor and two nurses mulling about, all taking turns in examining Annie’s cervix. But Annie didn’t seem to care.

He asked for clarification, as he remained in shock about the whole thing, “So you can see the baby’s head?”

“Yup. Annie, give me a real good push.”

Annie complied, and as she finished, the doctor said, “Okay, now do it again.”

Annie took a deep breath and repeated it, her teeth grit and her nails practically going through Jeff’s hand. She screeched, and he attempted to kiss her forehead, but then sensed it was useless.

“You’re doing great. Again, this one real hard, Annie.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes, you can, sweetie. You can do anything.”

“Annie, bring this home, baby Edison-Winger, number two. Let’s meet Sophie’s sibling.”

She took a breath, and pushed once again, screaming and half-grunting as she did so. She panted with exhaustion, and the doctor said, “One more time, Annie. Give us one more push. They’re almost out.”

Jeff’s eyes bulged as he glimpsed the baby’s head, neck, and shoulders. It was the craziest thing he had ever seen, their child emerging. The face was down, so he couldn't see them fully, but he was conscious of the blood and goo covering them. The doctor was grabbing a syringe and suctioning the baby’s mouth and nose, her eyes intent with focus.

He said, “Come on, Annie. Push. I can see them! I love you. You got this.”

“Grrrrrrrr……” She gave one more push.

“Great job! He’s out!”

“He?” Jeff was kind of dazed-freaked out, and he wasn’t sure if he had heard that right.

“Yes, you have a son!” Doctor Samuelson made the cheery pronouncement as she lifted up the gooey baby, the umbilical cord trailing him.

There was a gooey cry.

 

X

X

Annie couldn’t believe it as she heard the cries of her son. Her son. She fell back on the pillow and closed her eyes, utterly exhausted and relieved that he was all right.

She was half-aware of Jeff's kisses on her forehead and his words.

“My god, Annie. We have a son. You’re amazing.”

“Oh, sweetie, he’s just beautiful. Good job.”

Jeff turned from his quick examination of Annie to make sure she was okay and regarded the squirming baby in the nurse’s arms, the long cord still attached. The doctor clamped the cord and handed him a scissor contraption.

With bewilderment, he cut it, and while he felt it was a somewhat useless thing for him to do given that Annie had certainly just done something incredible, part of him was eager to be involved. The nurse shuttled the baby off for a moment, and he was slightly panicked, but the doctor gave her reassurances that everything was fine and the baby was healthy.

The crying continued, and that helped assuage his fears. He leaned down and whispered, “I love you so much.”

“I love you too.”

The doctor began massaging Annie’s belly, and Annie winced. She appeared to be having another contraction. Jeff briefly wondered if they were having surprise twins before the doctor explained the placenta still needed to be pushed out. He considered that was kind of unfair, for Annie to be expected to go through another mini-labor and delivery after just having had a baby.

There were some lighter contractions, and then Annie was instructed to push, the placenta emerging. Jeff tried not to look too closely and merely offered comfort to her, as it was kind of gross. He wondered how Britta could even talk about the disgusting things you could do with it, and he had been getting an earful from her lately about it. But that placenta had certainly been mighty darn useful thus far.

They had a son.

The crying had lessened, and he was aware of an occasional blip before suddenly one of the nurses was presenting him, his face very slightly cleaned up, half wrapped in a tiny blanket. They handed him to Jeff, and he tried not to completely lose it, as he was now only aware that he himself was also crying. He accepted the bundle, carefully cradling his head, and looked down to see a squishy-faced little guy, his skin a reddish-pinkish-purple hue, his eyes half-open.

His eyes appeared dark, but it was difficult to detect the color. They seemed both curious and confused, but mostly likely just out of focus. Jeff leaned down and stared at him, trying to position his head so that the light won't upset the baby too much. He smiled down at him and said through his tears, “Hey, little guy.”

Although he kind of wanted to hold him forever, he knew he should properly meet his mother. He turned to Annie, and having read that skin-to-skin bonding was important, utilized the half-burrito wrap to place him on her chest. She eagerly accepted him, having opened the top of her gown to hold him close. She held him to her breast, and the baby just grabbed her, his eyes still slightly open.

“Awww, I’m so happy to meet you.”

The odd formality of her statement made him just about lose it. The adrenaline was starting to ebb, and a giddy, delirious, and exhausted state began to overtake him. He thumped his forehead against hers, aware she was actively coaxing the baby to her nipple. To his amazement, the baby latched on and seemed content, his curious eyes still staring upward at his mother.

“He’s amazing. So are you.”

They locked eyes, and he couldn’t fathom ever loving her more.

 

X

X

It was another little bit before they were given more information. The baby’s vitals, which were taken right after he had emerged, were solid, and his height and weight were normal.

“Eight pounds, one ounce. Twenty two inches.”

Annie winced as she considered that he likely would have gained a half pound to a pound weekly before she had given birth at forty weeks. He was defintely a bigger baby than Sophie, and she had suspected that for the past couple months for sure. Pushing him out, while going much quicker than with Sophie, was definitely even more intense, but she supposed that might have also had something to do with having no pain relief.

The baby continued to suckle, and she pressed a kiss on his adorable little head, noticing the matted wet soft hair. Jeff was still staring at the baby and caressing one of his hands, marveling at the little fingers.

“We should get you cleaned up.”

Annie let out a reluctant sigh, but she was thankful this time that her partner was there, and she smiled as she handed the baby to Jeff. She could tell he was still a little freaked out, but he was practically melting before her, as he accepted the baby and was practically cooing at him. She urged him to unbutton his shirt and hold the baby to his upper chest.

“He needs you.”

Conscious for the first time of her mother’s silence, she turned to regard her mother sitting to her other side, the bucket of ice now having melted. She was staring at the baby, but her eyes readily shifted to Annie.

“You did amazing, sweetie. I’m so proud of you.”

“Thank you, Mom.”

She leaned over and kissed her forehead. Glancing down at the doctor’s maneuverings, she said, “I know this process isn’t every dignified, so I brought something else to make you feel better.”

“Really?”

“Yes, sweetie. I have my makeup kit. We’ll give you a nice little fixer-upper before we take the first picture.”

Annie tried not to roll her eyes, but she merely gave a slight nod, and then was aware that her mother was now over near Jeff and was motioning for the baby.

“Can I please hold my grandson?”

Seemingly not irritated at all but also not the least bit in a hurry, Jeff lazily replied, “Just give us a minute.” He continued to smile down at their new little bundle, and Annie finally allowed herself to relax.

 

X

X

It seemed both an eternity and lightning quick before Annie and Jeff were alone with their new baby. Rachel, after having held him for a few minutes, finally had the tact to let herself out, explaining she would make calls for them. Jeff made sure to let her know that he would be calling his mother himself but agreed she could get in touch with everyone else.

Although wanting to spend every millisecond with Annie and the baby, he also really wanted to talk to his mom. As Annie let the baby suckle, he picked up his phone.

“Jeffrey?”

Her eagerness matched earlier, but now at least he had news for her. He smiled and said, “Everyone’s great. It’s a boy.”

“Oh, Jeffrey! A boy? That’s wonderful!”

“Annie’s nursing him right now. Eight pounds, one ounce, twenty two inches.”

“Oh, my. Be glad he was early.”

“We both agree.” He glanced over at Annie and the baby, and said, “Hey, Sophie’s probably asleep, right?”

“Well, she was pretty excited, so we actually let her stay up a little late. She’s finishing up a movie with Britta, Ian, and Buzz. I hope that’s okay?”

Her teasing tone got him, and he let out a quick laugh.

“Shall I put her on the line?”

“Thanks, Mom.”

About a minute later, he heard Sophie’s voice.

_“Hi Daddy. Where are you? Are you at the hospital?”_

“Yes, munchkin. Mama had the baby. You are now a big sister.”

_“Oh, yay!”_

Annie laughed, and he inched closer to her, putting the phone on speaker.

“Hi, sweetie. I missed you so much. Are you having fun?”

_“Yes, I’m watching Ariel and Sebastian.”_

“That’s great, sweetie.”

“Hey, munchkin, you have a baby brother.”

There was a slight pause on the other end, and Jeff and Annie exchanged bemused looks.

_“I have a baby brother?”_

“Yes, sweetie. I’m holding him right now. He’s very small, but he really wants to meet you tomorrow morning.”

_“The baby’s a BOY?!?”_

“Yes, sweetie.”

_“He doesn’t talk?”_

“No, munchkin, he doesn’t just yet.”

_“It could be Olaf. Ask him.”_

“But we just established that he can’t talk yet. If I ask him, he won’t be able to tell me.”

_“Does he look like Olaf?”_

“Eh, not really. Olaf’s white and snowy, but your baby brother’s kind of small and reddish-purplish.”

_“He’s little and red?”_

“Um, pretty much.”

_“He’s Sebastian.”_

 

X

X

After getting off the phone and texting a picture of the baby to Dorie, they sat with each other in silence, both staring in wonder at their new addition. Jeff was aware they were both exhausted, but he didn’t really care. As much as his body ached for sleep, he didn’t want to go unconscious, for he didn’t want to miss anything. He reached out and caressed the little hand, once again counting the scrunchy fingers.

“So what should we name him?”

Annie smiled and replied, “We have our list. I think Asher was still my number one, but I know you like Michael.”

“He doesn’t seem like an Asher or a Michael.”

“No, he really doesn’t.”

“What do you think of Sophie’s suggestion? Of course, it seemed more like a pronouncement than anything, but he is kind of little and red.”

Annie giggled and kissed the baby’s head. His eyes were still half open, but at times they closed for a few minutes, as he appeared to be drifting in and out of sleep.

“He’s not a crab, Jeff.”

“Agreed. But Sebastian’s actually a nice name.”

She arched a brow and considered it for a moment, regarding the baby with a skepticism that he found adorable.

“It’s not a Jewish name.”

“Suppose not. So no?”

“Give me a minute.” She peered at the baby and mumbled, “Sebastian Edison Winger.”

They had already decided the baby’s middle name would be Edison, just as Edison was now one of Sophie’s middle names.

“Sounds not too bad. Same initials as Sophie.”

They exchanged smiles, and Annie nodded. “I like it. And I suppose he could have a variety of nicknames. Like Sebby, Seb, or Bastian.”

“Yeah, it’s versatile.”

Annie cooed, “Do you want your name to be Sebastian? That’s what your big sister wants to name you. She’s very smart and she can’t wait to meet you.”

There was a gurgle, and Jeff knew in that moment Annie decided to take that as confirmation. He agreed, and said aloud, Sebastian Edison Winger. Sebastian Winger.” Nodding, he added, “It’s good.”

“Awww.” Her expression then faltered, and she said, “I just remembered that Buzz’s grandson is named Sebastian.”

“You’re kidding.”

“No, I’m not. I remember thinking it reminded me of The Little Mermaid.”

They both were kind of stumped for a few minutes, clearly still enamored with their new bundle but a little peeved about the coincidence. Annie murmured, “Sebastian. I think your name is Sebastian.”

“Annie, I think so too.”

“Really?”

“Screw it if there’s a Sebastian Hickey. There can be a Sebastian Winger.”

She smiled broadly and kissed the baby.

Now that it was settled, Jeff felt at peace. He leaned back in his chair and close his eyes, feeling the haze fall over him. He was only slightly aware enough that he didn’t think he’d fall out of his chair.

“Jeff?”

His eyes flew open and he sat up, for he detected an urgency in her tone.

“Yeah?”

“I’m ravenous. Can you please go get me something to eat?”

“Um, yeah. You must be starving after all that sweating and pushing. What sounds good?”

“I really want a hamburger. A giant hamburger, with everything on it.”

The fierceness in her eyes bemused him, and he knew cafeteria food, if they were even open now, wasn’t going to do it. He picked up his phone but then frowned and hesitated.

“I’ll just go find those two weirdos. Will you guys be okay for a few minutes?”

She let out a chuckle and said, “If you could go get a nurse, yes. I want to just make sure about a couple things with little Sebastian. Please say hi to them for me.”

He kissed her and said, “Will do.”

 

X

X

It was only about ten minutes later that he spotted them, stretched out in the nearby waiting room, both with headphones in and watching something on a laptop. There was an assortment of chip bags from the vending machines strewn about, and a receptionist was eyeing them warily from the desk. Still relishing the opportunity to stretch his legs, he strode over to them and, knowing better than to startle Abed, smacked Troy’s shoulder.

“Jeff!”

Troy grinned and threw off his headphones, jumping to his feet and pulling Jeff into a bear hug. Jeff allowed it, and he was very much aware of the weariness beginning to overtake him once again. At the same time, he was kind of excited to break the news, unless of course Rachel had called them or run into them already.

But it appears that wasn’t the case, as Troy asked, “Is there a baby? How’s Annie?”

Abed was now by their side and regarding him with that curious yet blank expression.

He sighed, “Annie’s great. It’s a boy.”

“Awww, that’s awesome.”

“Congratulations, Jeff.” Abed reached out his hand, and Jeff accepted the firm handshake.

“Thanks, buddy.”

“So it’s not evil Sadie.”

“You guys got a name? I love names.” Troy looked up at the ceiling dreamily.

“I’m pretty sure we’re going to name him Sebastian.”

“Like the crab.”

“Yes, Troy, like the crab.”

Abed gave a thumbs up.

Before he could offer any additional commentary, Jeff said, “Hey, Annie’s vamished. Labor took a lot out of her. She’s craving, and I quote, a giant hamburger with everything on it. Would you guys mind running out to get her one?”

He handed over a wad of bills, and Troy and Abed shuffled off with great enthusiasm. He watched them go and then slowly turned to see Rachel standing there, a twinkle in her eye.

“Hey.”

“Hi, Jeff. I was just about to tell them, but I saved them for last. They always make me so uncomfortable.”

“You get used to them.”

She smiled indulgently, and he knew she was inwardly dismissing him. She walked over and pulled him down for a hug.

 

X

X

Jeff watched Annie devour her burger, and he cradled Sebastian, not wanting him to be put down in a bassinet just yet. He deserved to be held for as long as possible. Afterall, he had been in Annie’s womb for months. How could he just put him down?

Rachel had gone home, stating she was going to get some sleep. Annie had accepted her offer of a makeover and then let her take a picture of Annie with the baby, and then Jeff and Annie with the baby. They had allowed her to hold Sebastian once more for a minute before she proclaimed him precious and then taken off. After her departure, Annie had seemed even more relaxed, and she had dove into her food.

She was finishing off the added fries when Jeff remarked, “It’s good to see you like this. Today was rough.”

“I know.”

“I still can’t believe you grew and then popped out a human. You were taking an exam at noon.”

She shrugged as she licked her fingers, and the reality of her strength hit him once again.

He continued to cradle his son.

Their son.

“I love you, little guy.”

Annie watched as Jeff continued to cuddle little Sebastian, and her heart swelled. She leaned back and finally allowed herself to drift off to much-needed sleep.

  
  
  
  


 

 

 


	24. Advanced Family Therapy

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Everyone meets the new addition

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A special edition of EIB, written during windchills of -50F. I had nothing else really compelling to do...

 

Jeff awoke to the sun on his face, filtering in through the blinds. His first instinct was to grab for the baby, having a fear that he had dropped him. He gasped and sat up, dizzy and disoriented.

It had been a pretty crazy few hours. He had ended up passing out on the hospital sofa-bed in Annie’s room, but his last robust memory was of holding little Sebastian. He had probably been dreaming of cradling him, the new and amazing sensation embodying itself into his memory.

With relief, he saw Annie nursing the baby in her bed, giving him little kisses as she did so.

She cooed, “Awww, good morning.” Her eyes didn’t leave the baby, but he knew she was addressing him.

Slowly, he stood and walked over to her and sat down with more weariness than he had felt in some time. He supposed he hadn’t gotten the best sleep due to the sofa-bed and the chaos of the previous evening. They had ended up attending to the baby for awhile, Annie explaining that despite her fatigue she needed to let him nurse or suckle for a few hours, and when she rested Jeff needed to keep holding him against his bare skin. He had been glad to do so, as he had wanted their son to have the best entry into this world, but the result was significantly reduced sleep along with some fragmentation, as the baby had cried a little bit after having been put down the first time. Jeff was finally able to recall that at some point the baby had fallen into a deeper sleep, and Jeff had relaxed his grip on staring obsessively at him and had passed out.

He gave Annie a kiss, and they smiled at each other before both resuming gazing at the baby. His eyes were open and he seemed pretty pleased.

“He likes your boobs.”

“I’m so relieved. It was a little harder to get Sophie to do it.”

Once again he was reminded that this was not a first for Annie, and while that didn’t really bother him anymore, he wanted to allow himself to take everything in.

He managed, “This is still so incredible. We have a whole other person with us now, to take care of.”

She smiled up at him, and he became aware of the dark circles under her eyes.

“Were you able to get any sleep?”

“Some, but I could use a nap.”

He motioned for the baby, but she shook her head, reminding him that the baby still needed to feed. He felt guilty that he couldn’t do it, and he wondered how much the kid was actually consuming versus it being a comfort thing, as Annie had explained to him her milk hadn't yet come in but there was some weird word she used to describe what she was producing, something that would give the baby nourishment for the next couple days.

“Maybe I could comfort him in some way when he’s done?”

“Of course. We’ll just see what he wants to do.”

“You need to get some sleep.”

“I’m sure he’ll let me in a little bit.”

At that moment, the nurse came in and checked Annie’s vitals and briefly regarded the baby, who continued to hold his grip. She reassured them that everything looked good and then made her pronouncement.

“Well, I think you can all go home a little later today.”

Jeff paled and inwardly began to panic. He couldn't imagine how they were going to just go home with a vulnerable little creature, and he had no idea what the fuck he was doing. It seemed insane.

“I thought you’d keep them here a little longer?”

The nurse chuckled and said, “Not with healthy natural deliveries. There’s really no need, and most mothers are more comfortable at home than a hospital, right hon?” She winked at Annie.

Annie smiled weakly and said in not that convincing of a manner, “I guess?”

“Excellent. I’ll check on you all in a little bit, but let’s tentatively plan on a three pm discharge. I’ll send someone in with breakfast.”

Jeff exchanged nervous looks with Annie, and he had a sneaking suspicion he was not alone in his freakout.

It was only a matter of minutes before Rachel swooped in, looking refreshed and dressed to the nines, no longer wearing comfy slippers.

“Good morning, my sweeties.”

“Hi, Mom.”

“Hi, Rachel.”

She set down a huge box of what looked to be donuts on the table and then clicked toward them, her mouth already making an ooooh as she reached for the baby.

“Mom, he’s nursing.”

Somewhat deflated, Rachel pulled up a chair and sat, her hand reaching for Annie’s hair. She began pushing it out of her face.

“We can do another refresh, sweetie, before others get here. You’ll want to look your best, and believe me I remember how exhausting it is.”

“Where’s Anthony?”

“He says he’s not coming to meet the baby until after Sophie does, sweetie. He’s at home, but I can call him whenever you want.”

At this, Jeff exchanged looks with Annie, and he sensed that she was very much touched by her brother’s sensitivity. Jeff picked up his phone and noticed some texts from his mom, and he excused himself to make the arrangements.

As he was leaving, Annie said, “They’re going to discharge us this afternoon. It feels a little crazy.”

“Nonsense! You need to get rest, sweetie, and you’re certainly not going to get any help at home. You’re staying at least another night here.”

“Jeff will help me.”

“No offense to Jeff, but he looks dreadful. He’ll be useless.”

“Mom.”

“Don’t you worry. I’ll have a chat with the staff.”

 

X

X

After breakfast, Jeff managed to splash some water on his face, change, and arrange his hair somewhat decently. Rachel was true to her word and helped Annie freshen up before she held Sebastian for about two awkward minutes and then handed him to Jeff.

Once again, Jeff stared down at the baby and marveled at his delicateness yet strange robustness. His color was a lot more normal by Jeff’s standards at least, and he kept grabbing onto his finger when he offered it.

“Hey, Sebastian. Your sister’s gonna love you.”

Before he could look up, he knew she was there.

_“Mama!”_

“Hi, sweetie.”

Sophie let go of Dorie’s hand and raced over to Annie. Rachel stood and hoisted her so she could sit on the bed, and Annie hugged her.

“I missed you so much, Sophie.”

Sophie relished her mother’s attentions for a few moments before she pulled back and stared at Annie’s still protruding belly.

 _“The baby’s still in there?”_ She pointed.

With the hint of irritation but quickly recovering, Annie explained, “The baby came out, but my tummy’s still going to be big for a little while. It takes some time before it goes down.” She motioned with her hand, and Sophie nodded.

_“Like a balloon.”_

Jeff smiled over at his mother, who was still standing near the doorway, Buzz, Britta, and Ian immediately behind her. They were all peering in but clearly wanted Sophie to have her moment.

“Do you want to meet your baby brother? He’s right there with Daddy.”

For the first time registering his presence, Sophie turned and smiled. Jeff wiggled his eyebrows and gestured with his head toward the bundle in his arms, and Sophie shrieked.

_“It’s my baby!”_

He was thankful that Sebastian didn’t freak out, and he slowly rose and walked over, exchanging seats with Rachel. He moved the baby closer, and Sophie peered over him.

 _“Oh, gosh.”_  She placed both hands on her cheeks.

Annie smiled over at him and he almost felt like crying once again. Truth be told, he had been sobbing on and off since the previous evening. It wasn’t like he was upset or anything, more overcome. Annie hadn’t said anything to him about it, and he noticed she had been crying softly here and there as well.

“Sweetie, do you want to know his name?”

Continuing to stare at the baby, Sophie nodded.

Annie continued, “We listened to what you said, and we realized you were right. His name is Sebastian.”

Jeff could hear the gasps from the other adults, and he figured this was as good as a scenario as any to let them all know the name. So far he had been vaguely amused that Rachel hadn’t even asked if they had named him yet.

Now clearly very pleased, Sophie grinned and said, _“I love Sebastian. He’s not that red though.”_ She looked up at Jeff with an intense skepticism, which he found pretty adorable.

He explained, “Well, he was a little bit redder last night when he was born. He probably won’t end up being that red, but he’s little and it is a nice name.”

That seemed to satisfy her, and she said, _“Yes, I like the name.”_

“Do you want to hold him?”

The serotonin was off the charts as Sophie wriggled and then did her best to sit completely upright next to Annie, pushing her hands in front of her. Jeff and Annie did their best not to laugh, and Jeff careful placed the baby in Sophie’s arms, Annie’s hand underneath one of Sophie’s so that she could support the baby’s neck and head.

Sophie stared down and said, _“Hi, Sebastian. I’m Sophie. I’m your big sister. You’re my baby brother. I’m gonna play with you. We have a Ruffles too. She can’t come to the hospital.”_

Jeff inched closer and placed a kiss on Annie’s temple. He wiped a tear falling down her cheek.

His mother finally stepped over and held up her phone. “I think it’s time for a family picture.”

 

X

X

The first meetings continued, with Dorie coming over and sitting by the bed in between Annie and Jeff. Annie handed the baby to her, and she made an inexplicable noise that Annie assumed was one of joy. Her eyes sparkled as she regarded her grandson, and she kissed his forehead.

“Why hello, Sebastian. You look so much like your father.”

Jeff gave her a questioning look, and Dorie nodded and explained, “He has your nose.”

“Oh come on, Mom. You can’t tell that yet. He’s still kind of a blob.”

“Now really, Jeffrey, you know that’s not true. Why you were just telling me last night that he has such a sweet little face.”

Annie was bemused, wondering when Jeff had been talking to his mom like that last night. She supposed it was after she had fallen asleep, while he was holding the baby. Her heart swelled as she thought of him quietly chatting with this mom while regarding their baby.

And she was right, Sebastian did resemble Jeff, at least a little bit. She definitely agreed about the nose part.

Jeff asked, “What color do you think are his eyes? I can’t really tell.”

Dorie peered closer and then said, “I don’t know, dear. It usually takes awhile to know about that, and they can change.”

“What color were my eyes?”

“Very much like this, actually. I mean, you and Annie both have blue eyes so my guess will be that’s what he ends up with.”

It was sweet the way Jeff was asking questions of his mom. Annie put her arm around Sophie and whispered some soothing words to her about her being such a good big sister, and she continued to watch Jeff and his mother interact.

Dorie was very loving with the baby, clearly enthralled, and Jeff had scooted even closer to them. Their heads were barely an inch apart as they played with Sebastian’s hands and he looked up at them in bewilderment.

Annie then turned back to Sophie and asked, “Did you have a good time with Aunt Britta last night?” She cast a glance over near the doorway, where Britta, Ian, and Buzz were still hovering. She motioned them over.

_“Yes, we watched Ariel and Sebastian. Oh yay, my name is Ariel too!”_

“That’s right, sweetie. Your middle name is Ariel.”

_“And now I have a Sebastian.”_

She supposed that was very true. She squeezed Sophie a little more and was glad when Britta scooted up a chair on the other side of the bed so that they could converse.

“Hey, Annie. Great job.”

“Thanks for spending some time with Sophie.”

“It was fun, wasn’t it, Sophie?”

_“Yes. And Ian stayed too.”_

Annie gave Britta an inquisitive look, and she shrugged.

“Eh, we figured we’d be over here in the morning anyway. Hope that was okay.”

“Yes, of course.”

Buzz was also now pulling up a chair and scooted it next to Britta. He said, “That baby looks pretty darn cute. You ok?”

“Yes, I’m just tired, but thankfully my mom arranged for us to stay another night in the hospital, mainly so we can get more help and hopefully I can rest a little more.”  She turned to Britta and asked, “Would you mind staying over another night?”

“Of course not. Hey, Sophie, you’d like us to camp out again?”

_“Yay! Can we go see Elsa and Anna?”_

Clearly befuddled, Britta mumbled, “Um, sure?”

Suddenly Jeff, apparently eavesdropping, snapped, “Oh, you’re gonna regret that one.”

 

X

X

Eventually Britta held the baby and mumbled some greetings, all very awkward but Jeff felt was genuinely warm. He was reminded of the time he first handed her Sophie in his teasing way of getting her to face up to her non-maternal abilities.

But everytime subsequently he saw her interact with Sophie, he had to admit Britta might actually be a good mom. Afterall, kids weren’t babies for that long of a time, and she was really great with Sophie.

Ian had been next, and he did his duty very briefly before handing the baby off to Buzz, who was more of a natural, Jeff being reminded that he had two children and apparently a grandchild named Sebastian.

Jeff cleared his throat and said, “So, Annie told me that you have a grandchild with the same name?”

Buzz smirked as he continued to gaze at Sebastian. He said, “That I do. He’s a little bit older than this guy.”

Annie squeaked, “Is it weird we called him Sebastian?”

“It’s not a problem for me. And anyway, he’s your kid, so you should name him whatever you want to name him.”

“Awww, thanks.”

“Annie, he’s a beaut.”

 

X

X

Eventually Britta and Ian took Sophie to the cafeteria to get some lunch, mentioning they’d also let her run off some steam in the child playground area next door before they'd be coming back. Jeff was relieved, as he didn’t want the place to get too crowded, and part of him wondered if Sophie would get bored and or jealous as people kept cooing over the baby.

His mom kept taking the baby, Buzz chuckling as they would pass him back and forth for a little bit, under the guise of giving Annie and Jeff rest. Annie laid back and closed her eyes, and Jeff thought perhaps having more people around was a good thing. He started to nod off himself as he stretched out on the sofa-bed.

“So yeah, he’s not ready for a blanket fort just yet.”

Jeff snapped open his eyes and sat up, turning to see Troy cradling Sebastian as Abed leaned over to squint at the baby.

“When did you guys get here?”

“I dunno. Like twenty minutes ago?”

Well, he supposed he was more tired than he thought. He looked over at Annie and saw her fast asleep, his mother by her side.

Dorie whispered, “She’s still out. We hope it’s okay that we let your friends in?”

“Yeah, of course, Mom. This dynamic duo was here for quite awhile last night and got Annie a much-needed hamburger. Thanks again, guys.”

Still staring at the baby, Abed remarked, “It’s the first study group baby, genetically that is.”

Jeff squinted at him and said, “And probably the last, since unless they develop some serious gene splitting technology, I don’t think you and Troy are going to be able to do it.”

Troy half-shrugged as he gazed lovingly down at the baby and said, “I dunno, man.”

Abed piped in, “But that’s one of the reasons we have Penelope.”

Jeff groaned as he placed his head in his hands, “God.”

“But you’re right, Jeff, if she ever does agree to that, and trust me the three of us are in _no way_ ready…”

\--”Oh come on, you love babies, Abed…”

“Shush, Troy. As I was saying, said child would still not be the genetic study group baby.”

“Right, Abed.”

“What do you mean by last, Jeff? You mean you and Annie aren’t going to have any more?”

Jeff stared at Troy for what felt like two minutes. He made the decision to say absolutely nothing. He turned toward his mom and Buzz and said, “I’m gonna go get some coffee. Anyone want anything?”

They all shook their heads, and he was jealous of the amount of sleep they had probably all gotten. He supposed this might be his new normal, but then considered the new normal would likely be much much worse in the coming days. He remembered Annie’s stories of Sophie’s early weeks.

He rose and was about to leave the room, when he was accosted by a beaming Shirley, Andre by her side.

“Jeffrey! Con-grat-u-la-tions!”

“Thanks, Shirley.”

“Hey, man, nice.”

Andre’s punch to his shoulder was oddly soothing and he turned and indicated toward the bed with a sweep of the arm.

“We have a brand new baby. He’s amazing, and Anne’s amazing, and well, I’m gonna go get some coffee.”

“I’ll come with you.”

He readily accepted Andre’s offer as Shirley made a beeline for the baby.

Right before they left the room, Troy remarked, “Hey, Jeff, I don’t think Britta’s right about the resemblance. His forehead isn’t _that_ big.”

 

X

X

“God, I’m exhausted.”

He sat with Andre near the hospital coffee stand, taking a moment to relish the warmth of the beverage. He hoped the caffeine would soon be making its way through his veins.

“Yeah, it looked like Annie was too.”

With a sheepish grin, Jeff said, “Admittedly, she did a lot more than I did. The whole experience was insane.” He paused and asked, “Were you there when Jordan and Elijah were born too?”

Andre nodded and sipped his coffee before responding, “Yeah, all three of them. I agree that it’s a bit surreal. I keep forgetting you haven’t done this before.”

“Yeah, I kinda realize I missed out on a lot with Sophie. I look at her newborn pictures, and crap I can’t relate to her. She’s so different now. But I look at Sebastian and I can see a little human guy. He’s a person. I wish I had gotten the chance to hold Sophie at that age and see her personality just emerging. That would have been incredible.”

Andre frowned, “Sebastian?”

“Oh, right, yeah, that’s his name.”

“As in the crab from The Little Mermaid?”

“Actually, yes.”

“Oh, cool.”

They sat in comforting silence for several minutes, Jeff figuring that Andre was just the person he needed to be with right now. He wasn’t one for much talking, yet he didn’t really want to be alone. If Ian were here, he’d be prattling on about something highly awkward and yet strangely astute, same with Britta (ahhh, so that’s what they see in each other), and Trobed would be making zappy references to things and in his current state he wouldn’t be able to keep up.

It was just then that he heard his mom’s voice.

“Andre, would you mind giving me a moment with my son?”

“Of course not, Mrs. Winger. I’ll just go find my wife. She’s probably obsessing over that cutie.”

“Please call me Dorie, and thank you.”

Jeff looked up to see his mom now seated where Andre had just been, and she was regarding him with tenderness.

“Annie’s awake. She’s talking with Shirley.”

“Does she understand…”

“Yes, dear. I think she’s glad you took a coffee break.”

He nodded and pointed toward the coffee stand, and she shook her head. She then patted his hand and said, “I think it’s great you’re staying another night.”

“Yeah, me too.” He paused and then asked, “Mom, you gave birth to me when you were only nineteen?”

“Yes, dear.”

“Was my...um, was William there?”

She seemed slightly taken aback by the question but then quickly recovered herself. The only reason he could tell was because he knew her so well.

“No.”

“Where the hell was he?”

She let out a heavy sigh and said, “I know what you’re thinking, that he missed out on that, now that you’ve experienced it you see how profound it is, but well, things were different back then. It was the seventies. Many fathers weren’t in the delivery room, it wasn’t expected.”

“I see.”

“He stayed in the waiting room and met you a little bit later.”

Jeff nodded and placed his coffee cup on the small side table. He then leaned forward, his elbows on his knees, and contemplated this information. It had never before occurred to him to wonder about his birth. He knew he was unplanned and that his parents were young, but now that knowledge took on even more significance.

He managed, “Watching Annie go through that, seeing that little guy come right out of her…” He choked down a surprising sob before continuing, “it was the most fantastic moment of my life. I saw him first, his little arms, his head, I heard him cry. And Annie needed to have such strength to keep going, you could see it in her usually determined eyes how much pain she was in. And all I could do was hold her hand.” He held up his palm to reveal the scabs and nervously laughed before adding, “But I’m so glad I was there. Mom, I can’t believe you did that...did you have someone there? A friend?”

“No dear, but I had a really nice nurse. She was very helpful.”

“Thank you.”

“Hmm, dear?”

“Thank you for giving birth to me.”

She smirked but he knew she was a little overcome, for she tilted her head and pressed her hand near her left eye, turning away just slightly as her body jerked.

“Mom, seriously. I have a newfound appreciation for what you went through to bring me into this world.” He made the decision right then and there to pull her into a hug.

“Mom, I love you so much.”

The soft sobs made his heart grow ten times. He’d have to tell Annie that any trace of the grinch was long gone, but he had a feeling she’d know that already.

 

X

X

When he returned, Anthony was holding the baby and sitting by Annie’s side, chatting away.

“He’s so small.”

“I know.” Annie smiled and pet the baby’s hair.

Jeff cleared his throat and then eyed the donut box on the table, wondering how many hands had messed with it since he left. He noticed Trobed were gone, as was Buzz, Shirley, and Andre, and Rachel was seated on the sofa. He vaguely recalled she had wandered off earlier during his mother and Buzz’s visit.

He said, “Anthony, good to see you.”

“Congratulations. He’s so cute.”

“Thanks, but really Annie did all the work.”

“That’s not entirely true, Jeff. You let me mutilate your hand. I’m sorry.”

He startled, his hand half in the donut box, and looked over to Annie pouting over at him, and he gave her a reassuring smile.

“All’s forgiven.”

 

X

X

A little while later, everyone had gone home, knowing that Jeff and Annie needed some quiet time. Jeff was once again relieved to know that nurses were a button press away and that they had people around to change the baby. That was one duty he was not relishing, as he noticed that already they had gone through many diapers.

The nurse came in and said it was time for the first bath, and he kinda got a little concerned. Although the remnants of goo on the baby were slightly strange, he had read that waiting awhile until the first wash helped with immunity or something. He and Annie had followed the nurse and watched, helping here and there as the baby was bathed. It was during this time he was acutely aware of the belly button bandage, once again marveling at the whole way babies were made. Once the bath was complete, the baby was re-swaddled and handed back, this time Annie eagerly taking him and resuming to nurse.

Annie was finishing up the latest nursing round, pronouncing that Sebastian had sucked down a bit of whatever it was called, when she held him to her shoulder in an attempt at burping. Jeff rushed over and took the baby from her.

“I got this. Please, Annie, get some sleep.”

She smiled appreciatively and then fussed for a minute with the burp cloth before relinquishing control.

He said, “I did some of this last night, remember. I know how to burp.”

“He didn’t burp much last night.”

“Annie.”

“Okay.”

He held the baby to his shoulder, cradling the head just so, inwardly slightly unnerved at his delicacy. He noticed the baby was a little more fussy than last evening, and he figured he might need a good burp. He began to pace a little, more confident that he wasn't going to drop him, finding himself relaxing as the the baby made a sound that certainly sounded like a belch.

He was handling this new fatherhood thing pretty well, if he must say. He began to affect a slight swagger, for he noticed Annie was eyeing him with bemusement.

“You’re such a good daddy.”

“Oh, stop.”

“You are.”

They exchanged tender glances, and he was about to try to come up with some witty remark when he heard another belch. They both laughed, and then he moved the baby’s head back a little and regarded the burp cloth. There was a string of goo from the baby’s mouth to the cloth, and the baby continued to squirt it out.

“Holy crap, that was some belch, you little squirt.”

“Awww.”

“Don’t ruin my shirt. Annie, did you see this? He’s just like spitting it out.”

“He’s so sweet.”

The baby gave one last spit, and then Jeff wiped his mouth. “I don’t know what I’m going to do with you.” He hesitated and tried again, “Little squirt.”

Annie tilted her head and they made eye contact. He walked over and sat down next to her, moving the baby into his arms and continuing to dab at his mouth.

He cocked an eyebrow and she chuckled.

“What do you think? Squirt?”

“Awww, I knew you could do it. My Jeffy and my new special little guy.” She nodded and said, “It’s good.”

 

X

X

Jeff stumbled down the hallway, his urge for more coffee strong. He had attempted to nap earlier, but the dimensions of the sofa-bed made that more than challenging, so he had given up.

As he rounded the corner, he came face to face with Pierce.

“Jeffrey, I was looking for you.”

“You don’t say.”

He was inwardly embarrassed that he had completely forgotten about Pierce. Somehow he had assumed all of the study group members had visited. He affected a neutral expression and decided to just embrace it. While he had no intention of letting Pierce drop his newborn son, he wasn’t going to deny him a visit. Plus he knew Annie would be thrilled to see him.

“It’s a boy.”

“I know Jeffrey. Your vixen of a mother called me last night. I had some trouble getting up this morning, mainly because I had gotten myself knotted in my bed sheets, but here I am. I hope you don’t think I forgot about you guys.”

Jeff suddenly felt like an ass. He motioned Pierce in for a hug, and he could feel Pierce’s eerie smile against his shoulder.

As they pulled out of the embrace, Pierce said,“Congratulations.”

“Thanks, it was...something. Annie’s doing well, and the little squirt is pretty darn adorable.”

“I’m sure he is, Jeffrey. I can’t wait to meet him.”

“Eh, come with me. I can get coffee later.” Jeff motioned and started to make his way down the corridor back to Annie’s room when Pierce held out his hand and stopped him.

“That can wait. We need to have a moment.”

“Hmm?”

Pierce reached into his suit pocket and produced two cigars. He handed one to Jeff and said, “Let’s celebrate.”

Although not much of a cigar smoker, Jeff was touched by the offer. It seemed like a manly and fatherly thing to do, the type of thing one saw in movies or old television shows. Somehow it was fitting that Pierce would want to mark the occasion in this way. He accepted the cigar and held it aloft.

“Thanks, Pierce.”

“Relish this moment, Jeffrey. Be glad you don’t have super sperm.”

They shuffled off toward the parking lot.

  
  
  


 

 

 

 

 


	25. Behavioral Sleep Analysis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff and Annie adjust to the new normal

 

The last few days had been a bit of a blur.

Jeff lay on their king-sized bed, grateful for the lush thread count and ability to stretch, his hand wrapped around Annie. They had been taking any opportunity they could to get some sleep. At times he had been up while she snoozed, doing his best to settle Sebastian. At other times, he guiltily passed out while she nursed.

He had been also feeling a little bad about neglecting Sophie. He thanked heaven that their family and friends had been helpful, coming by and playing with her and/or doing diaper duty. Well, his mom was the one attending to many of the diapers, but their friends were great about cuddling the kids. Shirley had even brought by several frozen meals and had made them lunch a couple times, a gift that Jeff couldn’t even begin to thank her for, as her cooking was delicious and he hadn’t had the energy to prepare anything. The Dean had even stopped over to meet the new addition and to spin Sophie around for a little while.

Ruffles had greeted them upon their arrival home from the hospital, her head cocked and ears straightened as she studied the new creature in her household. Jeff had picked her up and held her on his lap as Annie cradled the baby clad in his knitted cap, and Sophie stood by with intense interest of her own.

Sophie nodded approvingly at Ruffles’ intense posture and proclaimed, _“She likes the baby.”_

“Yes, munchkin, I’m sure she does.”

 _“Can we play with him now? Please?”_ Her eyes grew ten times their size, and it was literally one of the most adorable things he had ever seen.

He managed, “Remember, he’s very small and delicate. He needs to get a bit bigger before Ruffles can play with him. But you can hold him again if you want.”

Sophie nodded her understanding but appeared to be a little put off by Jeff’s explanation. She shuffled closer but clearly wasn’t in the mood to hold Sebastian, so she watched as Ruffles sniffed around the baby’s blanket.

Ruffles was pretty maternal in many ways, so they weren’t that concerned she’d hurt him, but Jeff still made sure to keep a gentle hold on her. She nudged her nose against the baby’s cheek, and Sebastian opened his eyes and stared at her, which elicited a flurry of giggles from Sophie.

_“He likes Ruffles. She wake him up. Hi baby.”_

Sophie placed her cheeks on her hands and her elbows on the couch cushion so she could continue to watch. All the while she was smiling, and it just about killed Jeff with the cuteness. He exchanged warm grins with Annie and they continued in their exhausted and excited haze to watch the unfolding greeting.

Ruffles nudged again and then before Jeff could stop it, her little tongue emergened and she gave the baby a big slurp on his ear.

“Crap.”

Jeff began to pull Ruffles back, but it was too late and Ruffles was in love. Her tail began to wag furiously and she whined, taking several more slurps before Jeff was able to move her away. He put her on the ground and she stood on her little legs and placed her paws near Sophie, still staring at the baby.

The whining continued, and the baby swatted in a very uncoordinated way but otherwise didn’t seem fazed.

_“Oooh, Ruffles you kissed him! He’s our new baby brother, but he’s delicate, so we have to WAIT.”_

Throughout the whole thing, Annie giggled, and Jeff wondered if she was concerned about dog spit on their germ-susceptible infant.

“Awwww, I can’t take it.”

“Annie, there’s dog saliva fairly close to his mouth. Here, I’ll go get a wet wipe, but we should probably figure out a way to disinfect him.”

As he rose, she looked up at him with a bemused smile.

“What?”

“Nothing. Thank you for being such a good daddy.”

“Eh.”

_“You're a GREAT daddy, Daddy.”_

“Thanks, munchkin.” He patted Sophie on the head.

He allowed that memory to fall over him, and he smiled slightly as he continued to cuddle Annie in their bed. He was glad she was getting some rest, and he wanted to make sure she was as comfortable as possible after going through everything. So far, she had been walking around a bit, which amazed him, but most of her time was spent sitting and attending to the baby.

_“Hi, Daddy. It’s morning time.”_

He sighed as he turned around to see Sophie standing by the bed. He hadn’t heard Ruffles so was a little bit surprised she was there.

He replied with full grogginess, “Morning, munchkin.”

She was wearing new blue Frozen pajamas and holding a wand he had never seen before, her face gleeful.

 _“I magic you.”_ She tapped him on the shoulder and seemed very pleased.

“Oh, wow.”

_“Can I come up?”_

As usual, he was helpless to say no to the Disney eyes, and he reached over and assisted her onto the bed, placing her between him and Annie. He whispered to be quiet as her mother was still asleep, and she nodded her understanding as she cuddled into his side.

“Where’s Ruffles?”

_“Grandma took her for a walk.”_

He had spied a daybed in Sophie’s room when they had arrived home from the hospital, and it occurred to him that he didn’t remember buying it. His mother shooed off his question, and he had dropped it, now quite aware that she was in fact sleeping there. Hank the dog was also around, doing his best to blindly figure out the layout of the increasingly crowded apartment and not bump into Ruffles too much. He shrugged it off, not really caring about much else at present other than keeping his children and wife alive and happy.

Unfortunately, Sebastian didn’t seem that happy a lot of the time, as he cried a lot in a way that Jeff wasn’t used to in the limited time he had spent with infants. It was an almost raspy sound, bordering on howling, which always seemed to elicit Ruffles’ concern, as she would come rushing in and trot around while whining, which tended not to help the situation. The cacophony was starting to get to him.

The only way to really soothe Sebastian seemed to be by throwing him at Annie’s breast, but that wasn’t always possible, and he had spent a lot of time thus far walking him around and rocking him, looking for any way to get him to quiet. Poor Sophie had been wearing bright pink earmuffs and muttering to herself before slamming her bedroom door.

With a loving squeeze, he whispered, “Hey munchkin, I know it’s been really loud around here lately, and I’m sorry. Your brother will settle down soon, but he’s still getting used to not being in Mama’s tummy. So, thank you for being patient and for waiting.”

She smiled a little and scooted even closer to him, the wand tapping his shoulder. He could smell her breath, and for some reason that odor never really grossed him out.

She pushed her nose against his and pronounced, _“I wanna play with you today.”_

“Sure, I think we could arrange that. You wanna go to the park later?”

_“Yes, and I want to see Elsa and Anna again.”_

He inwardly cringed, but figured the kid was putting up with enough lately. He nudged her nose back and said, “Absolutely.”

_“I love you, Daddy. Thank you.”_

“Love you too, munchkin.”

“Sweetie?”

Annie’s murmur elicited a grin from Sophie, and she promptly turned away from him to face her mother.

_“Hi, Mama. It’s morning time. Daddy says we can see Elsa and Anna today. You come too, okay?”_

Annie sleepily sighed, “Oh, I don’t think I can leave Sebastian, sweetie. He needs me right now, but I hope you have fun with Daddy.”

_“I need you, Mama.”_

He could practically hear Annie’s heart break.

She began petting Sophie’s currently unruly mop and said, “I’m so sorry I haven’t been spending that much time with you. Why don’t we make some cookies together this Friday after school?”

He lifted his head and gave her a pointed look as he asked, “Do you think you’ll really be up to making cookies this weekend?”

She bit her lip and then replied, “Yes, I think I can rally. What do you think, Sophie?”

_“I wanna make cookies with you, and then you can hold me.”_

“Oh, sweetie, I’ll hold you right now.” Annie’s voice cracked, and it was almost too much for both of them.

She scooted up and pulled Sophie on her lap. While doing so, she leaned over to take a peek at Sebastian in the bassinet by her side of the bed.

Jeff cleared his throat and said, “I just checked on him a few minutes ago. He’s out.”

“Good.”

With a sardonic tone, he remarked, “Well, he was just up less than two hours ago.”

She smiled weakly over at him before giving Sophie a kiss and then a reassuring squeeze.

 _“I miss you so much, Mama. I don’t wanna go to school today.”_  Sophie placed her thumb in her mouth and let her wand fall to her side.

Picking up the wand and giving it a twirl, Jeff piped in, “Well, you don’t have to go to school. We’re gonna see Elsa and Anna, right? Why wait for after school? Let’s go this afternoon.”

He leaned over and caught the side of Sophie’s smile. He felt Annie’s.

 

X

X

Thank god his mom was there. Really, he didn’t know what they’d do without her. Between taking Ruffles and Hank for walks, getting Sophie ready for outings or school, and attending to wet or extremely and disturbing oddly-poopy diapers, she was amazing.

“Here, just hold this over there.”

“This is insanely convoluted.” He sighed and gave his mom an exasperated look as he made sure Sebastian’s anatomy was in the correct position as he attempted to pull the diaper up. It was a lesson in coordination, and it was something that he had always taken for granted with Sophie. He had been learning over the past few days that changing a baby boy’s diaper was a bit more of a process, his mother explaining the main way it could go wrong.

He shuddered at the thought.

“You’re doing great, dear. But here, let me just help you.” She grabbed the other side of the diaper and then pulled it into the clip, as he deftly removed his hand.

“I don’t understand why we aren’t using the regular ones like we did with the munchkin.”

“He could get diaper rash. Really, the cloth ones are best for right now, but we can see how he does.”

“It’s a crazy mess is what it is.”

He closed his eyes in frustration, the memories of all the strange poop coming back. He had never seen anything like it, and despite the fact that both is mother and Annie had reassured him it was normal in newborns, he was still unnerved.

God, he didn’t know what he was doing. He had missed out on so much with Sophie. The fact that he hadn’t met her until she was eight weeks old was taking on more significance for him, and even then he knew that he hadn’t been that involved in her care until she was about ten-twelve months.

He had a lot to learn. He opened up his eyes and smiled slightly, attempting to refocus on his son.

His son. The precious creature who was now staring up at him, his dark likely blue eyes in complete bewilderment and his tufts of sandy matted baby hair. The poor kid didn’t know he wasn't in capable fatherly hands.

His mother cooed, “You’re doing really well with him. It takes a little bit to get the hang of things, but you’ll be a pro at this in a few days.”

“You think?” He continued to smile down at the baby and then found himself leaning in closer to his sweet face. He placed a kiss on his forehead, and Sebastian swatted his little hand to the side, which Jeff was fairly certain was just a reflex or something but he made the decision to treat it as a greeting.

“You’re pretty cute, squirt.”

His mom began rubbing her hand over his hunched back, and he found it to be oddly soothing, even though he was a full grown man.

There was a soft knock at the open bedroom door.

“Hey, Jeff, Mrs. Winger, I hope you don’t mind, but Annie let us in.”

They turned to see Thanos standing in the doorway with a mischievous grin, his arms now folded as he regarded the sight of Jeff, his mom, and the baby. Jeff motioned him over and accepted a hug which involved some serious patting of what he assumed was paternal reassurance. As they moved out of the embrace, Thanos turned and shook Dorie’s hand, but she then rolled her eyes and hugged him.

“Oh, that’s nice, ma’am.”

“It’s Dorie, and it’s good to see you, Thanos. Did you bring your family too?”

“Yes, ma’am….Dorie, everyone’s in the living room with Annie and Sophie. We came over to meet this new little guy, but we’re not gonna stay too long. I know how crazy it gets.” He glanced over at Jeff and gave him a questioning look.

Jeff shrugged and then indicated sheepishly with his head down at Sebastian, who was still strapped securely on the changing table.

Dorie excused herself, and Thanos moved closer and regarded the baby with a decisive nod.

“He looks good.”

“Thanks, he’s a handful already. Don’t let his small size fool you.” Jeff unbuckled him and then gently placed his hands underneath and lifted him, making sure to support his neck and head. He was surprised he wasn’t freaking out more about that whole issue, but so far he had found picking up his son to feel fairly natural, which was at least something he could count on during this crazy time.

Sebastian began to whimper and in general seemed suddenly grumpy.

He walked over to the bed and sat down, now cradling Sebastian in his arm. Thanos plopped down next to him and handed him the baby blanket.

“You gotta make sure he’s not too cold.”

“Crap, does he look cold? I know he’s not supposed to get overheated either, but…”

Thanos sighed and placed the blanket over the baby’s legs and said, “You’re still figuring him out, but don’t worry, he’ll let you know. And sometimes they like to be swaddled a litte, but sometimes they don’t. Dino was a swaddler, but Maria like feels all constricted and makes a big fuss.”

“I have no idea if Sophie liked to be swaddled.”

“I think this little guy might. May I?” Thanos grabbed the blanket and placed it on the bed, smoothing out the wrinkles.

Jeff was grateful that he had people in his life who knew things. He had seen Annie do something like this a few times, but he hadn’t been wanting to bother her too much and had made due on his own, and his mother had been running around and attending to the dogs and Sophie, so he hadn’t really asked.

He took the opportunity for Thanos to show him, and as the swaddle was complete, Sebastian's closed his eyes in contentment, and Jeff knew all was right in the moment.

“Thanos, you’re amazing. Thank you.”

“He just wants to be cuddled.”

Jeff figured that was probably a safe bet, being that it was his son and all. He had taken thirty years to rediscover he was a cuddler, but he didn’t want his son to ever doubt that.

As he held the baby close in his newfound cocoon, he remarked, “I have no idea what I’m doing. I’m still trying to figure out how to change a baby boy. I mean I’ve done it occasionally with my cousin’s kid, but this guy’s so tiny and squirmy, and it’s a bit more complicated than I thought.”

Thanos chuckled and said, “Oh, yeah, I remember those days. One time Dino got me in the face.”

“Fuck.”

Thanos continued, gazing up all wistfully, completely glossing over the fact that he had just divulged something so gross. He sighed, “I was worried about what to do with a girl, but Maria’s been pretty easy in comparison. She’s a little more chill than Dino ever was. It’s nuts how things can be so different.”

“I can’t believe I have to now worry about being peed on, and not by a furry creature. My life is insane.”

“Cheer up, Jeff. Maybe the next one will be a girl.”

“Thanks.”

“You’re welcome. But little boys are a blast. We’re so happy for you guys.”

 

X

X

There was a lot they had to consider with having a newborn in the apartment, from the change in routine, to diapers, to soothing. It was a series of quick decisions often made with sleep deprivation, but they were handling it.

One significant decision that Jeff had thought they had made turned out to be more complicated than he thought. On day six, Annie pulled him into a hug as they laid side by side on their bed and began to cry. He held her, kissing her head in an attempt to be comforting, figuring that she was likely feeling just like he was but only even more hormonal due to having given birth and almost constantly nursing.

She finally settled and then sniffed, leaning back slightly so she could regard him through red-rimmed eyes.

“What can I do, Annie?” He let his thumb caress her cheek, and he tried to think through what would make things better. He had already brought up the nursing issue and told her they could switch to formula so she could rest, but she had swatted him and adamantly told him she’d push through it and said it would get better.

“I think I made a mistake.”

“We can’t take him back now.”

The resulting glare almost made him feel that things were somewhat normal. He half-thought he might be an ass if she were starting to suffer from postpartum depression or something, but so far he didn’t really think that was the case. But he was on the lookout for it, and he knew Britta was as well.

“Jeff, I’m trying to be serious.”

“Sorry. My attempt at levity. I love the little squirt, but he’s insanely loud. I can’t wait until he’s one of those little sit ‘em up chubby cute baby-people. And hopefully sleeps for longer stretches of time.”

She smiled slightly at this, and he knew he had her. She placed a quick kiss on his lips and then wiped away a remnant of a tear before she clarified, “I’ve been talking to my mom, and she’s been making some good points. I really want Sebastian to have an easier time than I did.”

“Hm?”

“I want him to fit in.”

 

X

X

They had a bris. Sebastian was eight days old, which seemed insanely small to Jeff, but he was told this was standard Jewish procedure. Once they had told Rachel of their decision, she had whipped into planning mode and arranged everything with the rabbi. Nancy, Ryan, Rachel, and Dorie stood with them as the rabbi conducted the ceremony in a synagogue, and their other loved ones hovered nearby, most of them bewildered by such a ritual but trying to remain supportive. Annie requested that Anthony be the one to hold Sebastian, a role traditionally served for the grandfather.

They tried their best not to focus on Britta’s absence.

Jeff was a bit lost during the various rituals and prayers, but he figured that was okay. He winced once the circumcision was conducted, but he trusted all would be fine since his mother had let someone do this to him when he was a baby. He was willing to do whatever he needed to do to make Annie happy, and she seemed to be thrilled, her tears now happy ones, as the rabbi finished the rite.

Jeff and Annie both recited a blessing, and it was over.

Everyone else then chanted, “Just as this child has entered into the covenant, so may he enter into Torah, the marriage canopy, and into good deeds.”

Almost immediately after the bris, Rachel made a bee line for the caterer she had hired and began to usher everyone into some sort of reception area. Jeff sighed and regarded their son, who was now in Annie’s arm and had quieted his cries.

He reached down and tapped his little nose and said, “I hope he’s not in a lot of pain.”

“We numbed it a bit. He’ll be fine and he’ll heal up really quickly.” She smiled at him in an attempt at reassurance, which he was desperate to have.

“So he’s a Jewish baby now.”

She nodded adamantly and then glanced over at Sophie, who was approaching while holding her bear. She wore one of her finest dresses and looked up with accusatory eyes through ringlets to pronounce, _“I don’t know why you hurt him.”_

“Well, crap.”

“Jeff.”

He ended up being kind of a coward and let Annie explain the situation to her, and he shuffled off past the food, his body guiding him somewhere, he wasn’t sure where. He had been feeling almost dizzy, but he assumed it was because of what he had just witnessed, of what they had done to the little guy.

He felt somewhat guilty.

Troy’s slap on the back jarred him, and he turned to see a platter full of lox and a bagel almost in his face.

“This stuff is so good. You want some?”

“No, um, thanks. I think I just need some air.”

As usual, Troy ignored this and merely nodded, as if he was agreeing with his internal thoughts. He then sighed and said, “That was a really strange thing to do, but I support you guys.” He then furrowed his brow and added, “Then again, I find it kind of strange how he now has to get married. He seems a little young. I don’t understand religions, not even my own.”

Jeff stared at him for what felt like three full minutes, but then he did make the decision to actually say something.

“Why on earth would you think he now has to get married? That’s ridiculous, Troy. I think you misunderstood something.”

Troy shrugged and said, “I dunno man. I distinctly understood we all had to chant he’s supposed to go into the marriage canopy. I think you’re the one who doesn’t understand, Jeff.”

“That doesn’t mean marriage, Troy.”

“What does it mean then?”

“I have no idea.”

Troy once again gestured toward a bagel, and Jeff shook his head. He then excused himself and made his way toward the door.

Once outside, he took a deep breath, which seemed to help.

“So, is the masochistic ritual over with?”

He startled at Britta’s words and then slowly turned to see her standing with crossed arms and dried tears on her cheeks. She appeared to be a combination of furious and hurt.

“I can’t deal with this right now. You’ve made your opinion known, but I respect Annie’s decision. This is part of her heritage, and then by extension, Sebastian’s as well.”

Britta shook her head and gave him dagger eyes.

He added, “I don’t really care what you think.”

“Annie cared. And then she didn't. What the hell?”

He groaned and then spied a delicious looking bench and sat down, barely registering Britta join him. He closed his eyes and leaned back, feeling the cold winter air and then realizing he had forgotten to put on his coat.

Britta handed him her mittens, and he pushed them back, but then she gestured at her pockets, where she was putting her hands, and he smiled slightly and accepted. He covered his hands somewhat and then felt guilty once again.

“I’m sorry if we confused you. If it helps, I have about as much emotional whiplash as you do.”

“You could have talked her out of it.”

“I didn’t want to. I didn’t really care about it one way or the other. My whole mission in life is to make Annie happy.”

At this admission, Britta pursed her lips, and he knew he was being analyzed. She opened her mouth as if to speak, but then shut it.

He said sardonically, “Pray tell me my issues.”

“I think you already know what they are. I’m sure your therapist has pointed them out.”

“She has, but you never miss an opportunity to chime in.”

Shoving her hands even deeper into her coat pockets, she hunched forward slightly and shivered, staring at her boots.

“I was told in psych school that I probably shouldn’t go around analyzing my friends.”

“No kidding.”

“But you and Annie suck.”

“Britta, look, he’s fine. He won’t remember any of it. Just like I don’t remember it either. I have plenty of issues, but I never had any issues from _that_.”

“Yeah? You don’t remember it at all?”

“He’s a week old.”

“I really hate it when people make decisions for kids. Adults don’t respect them, but kids know what they need and what they want. But no one ever listens.”

“Why do I get the feeling we’re not talking about my son?”

She went eerily quiet, and they both sat for awhile as she kicked the cold ground with her boot. He was starting to shiver but somehow felt he shouldn’t leave. This was Britta, his dear frustrating friend, and she clearly needed something.

He finally managed, “Hey, I’ve been meaning to try this new thing lately.”

“What?”

“Tell people how I feel about them. I’ve been too sleep deprived to really get around to it after the squirt was born, so here goes.

“Jeff, I don’t….”

\--”Listen, I love you. You’re an awesome friend, and you’ve always been there for me, and Annie, and the munchkin. I want you to be there for the squirt too.”

She began to blush furiously, and turned away slightly, but he knew she was listening.

He went on, “He’s gonna love you too. And you know, I was thinking about that time you delivered Shirley’s kid on the middle of the school floor, and how you asked if I thought you’d be a good mom and I kinda blew you off. I’m sorry. For what it’s worth, I think you’d be a pretty amazing mom. You have a lot of love to give, and you do an incredible job trying to take Sophie’s perspective. She can’t get enough of you.”

She slowly turned to face him, her eyes registering something he couldn't comprehend. She was normally pretty transparent which was part of her charm, but this time he just couldn't get a read on her.

She said, “That’s one of the nicest things anyone’s ever said to me.”

“You’re welcome. It’s all true.”

“But I don’t have to be a mom in order to make a difference in this world.”

“Crap, of course not. And that’s not what I meant. You don’t have to be a mom, I know. I just wanted to let you to know that I think you could, if you wanted to. Or if you don’t want to, that’s cool too.”

“But maybe I do want to be a mom.”

He almost gasped, but he knew that would be kind of stupid in this moment. Her pounding fist to his shoulder indicated, however, that she was better at reading him than he thought.

“You dumbass, you just said that to me and now you diss me.”

“I’m not. I was just surprised.”

“Well, I’ve been giving it a lot of thought, and maybe I surprised me too, but it makes sense.”

“Maybe it does.”

They once again sat awkwardly, and Jeff was wondering when he could go back inside to his family and the warmth. He finally said, “Let’s go inside. Ian’s here, you know, showing his support.”

“Oh, he knows I’m here. I just told him I wasn’t going in.”

“Right.”

“But I probably should. I need to talk to him, if I’m serious about this mom thing.”

“You know what, maybe now’s not the time to address it. Let’s just shower the squirt with attention and have a bunch of food, and you two can have a lovely and likey very comfortable conversation later.”

“I need to break up with him.”

 

X

X

Once they were home, Jeff wrapped Sophie in a blanket and rolled her around on the floor for a few giggly minutes while Annie and his mom attended to Sebastian. It was only when Annie emerged and asked for Sophie to help her put the baby down for a nap did Jeff approach his mom and urge her to sit down with him on the sofa.

As she acquiesced, he said, “So, um, the daybed?”

“Yes, dear?”

“When did that get here?”

“While you were in the hospital. I couldn't imagine sleeping on the couch all this time, and Buzz and I felt this was sensible, me being here. But don’t worry, I’m not moving in.” She winked at him and seemed bemused.

Running his hand through his hair he said, “I’m so damn grateful you’re here. I don’t care if you have moved in.”

She appeared touched by this, and she placed her hand over her heart. “Well, that’s very nice, dear, but Buzz asked me to move in with him, and I think we’re going to try to find our own place, to start over. But I do hope it’s alright if we live closeby.”

He wasn’t all that surprised if he were honest. He nodded his understanding and smirked, and she tapped his shoulder with her index finger and gave him a reproachful look.

“I’d love that, actually. You’re an awesome grandma. What would I do without you consoling my neglected daughter and rescuing me from massive amounts of poop?”

The dogs were by now almost up in their faces, and they both chuckled and then stood, taking out the leashes. With nonverbal understanding, they both moved toward the door and threw back on their coats and shoes.

As they got into the hallway, Jeff remarked, “But you’re going to have a longer commute then, right? I don’t like the idea of you doing that much driving.”

“I’m only nineteen years older than you are, dear. I’m perfectly capable of driving long distances.”

“Yeah, I know, but still.”

She patted him almost condescendingly on his arm and said, “Let's not talk about my job right now, let’s just focus on taking these two for a stroll and then I’d like to run some neighborhood ideas past you. Annie tells me you two might rent a bigger place in the spring, and well if I sell my place since you bought it for me originally, why I don’t see why you should be able to use some of the proceeds to put down a payment on a mortgage. You don’t need to continue to rent, and then you and Annie can get someplace nice and stay there.”

His heart almost skipped a beat, and he stared down at her incredulously.

“Mom, no. That’s money I gave to you.”

“And now I’m giving some of it back to you. You’re a good son, and you’ve looked out for me, but now you and your family need it. And Buzz owns his home, so really if we both sell, we’ll be fine.”

“But you should keep anything else and use it for retirement, Mom. Invest it.”

“I am investing it. I’m investing it in you.”

He tried not to cry, but he was only partially successful. She seemed slightly taken aback but then hugged him.

He sniffled, “I’m sorry. I just haven't been sleeping. I’m so tired.”

“Jeffrey, it’s okay.”

“I’m so damn tired, Mom.”

“Everything will be better. You’ll see.”

“I need to sleep. Mommy.”

It occurred to him as she patted his back that he might be acting a bit ridiculous, but he didn’t care.

It then also occurred to him that his mom had spent the past eight days with them, eight days away from her home in Denver, and eight days away from work.

“Mom, how did you get away from your job?”

She tensed and then looked up at him, for he had lifted out of the embrace and was regarding her with suspicion. She smiled tightly and said, “Oh, let’s just talk about that later.”

“No, let’s talk about it now.”

“I have plenty of vacation.”

“If that’s all it was, you would have said that first.”

Visibly frustrated with herself, she sighed with exasperation and said, “Fine, Jeffrey, I gave my notice. I knew I was needed here.”

“Mom!”

“It’s fine, dear. Once I saw that sweet baby I knew what I had to do. And Buzz has been bugging me forever to move here, and you’re absolutely right that I would hate that commute. Plus it would give me less time with my grandbabies. And with you.”

He stared down at her and was almost speechless. Almost.

“Mom, I’m really surprised you’d chuck your job, your house money, and then move in with Buzz. And this is not a knock on him, because frankly I think he’s a good if strange guy, but that puts you in a vulnerable position, financially. Even with retirement savings, you weren’t planning to retire for like ten years.”

“Oh, I already have something else lined up.”

Well that about floored him. He nodded with appreciation, feeling the weight begin to lift from his chest. His mom was resourceful, and now he was finding this whole thing was more in character for her. Of course she wouldn't be so stupid as to quit her job without a plan. But the speed in which she had located a new position was confusing, especially at her age.

“That’s great. Where?”

“Oh, we can just talk about that later. Really, Jeffrey, we are being most inconsiderate in allowing these puppies to not go do their business. Let’s go.”

“Fine.”

They began to mosey down the hall. Dorie sped up as they neared the Dean’s door, and it opened to reveal the Dean standing in a fluffy blue apron and holding a spatula.

“Why I thought I heard you guys! Jeffrey, Dorie, it’s so good to see both of you!”

“Yes, Craig, we’ll see you a little later, as we have to get these fur babies outside before we get back to our other babies.” Dorie smiled tightly and yanked on Hank’s collar, as the dog had stopped to lick the Dean’s shoes.

“Craig?” Jeff squinted, unaware his mom and the Dean were on a first name basis. But he supposed a lot of things had been happening while he had been busy. His mom had been spending a lot of time there, and she likely had been chatting with the Dean.

With a brig grin, the Dean said, “Yes! Isn’t it wonderful? Me and Dorie, your sweet mother, why she is just a lifesaver!”

“Come on, Jeffrey, let’s just take them out…”

“Wait….hell no.”

“Jeffrey, why do you look so sad? You know I needed a new assistant, and why everyone besides Annie was just _terrible!_ But then your mother swooped in and saved me! I know you need her for the winter break, but come spring she’ll be helping me spruce up Greendale!”

“Jeffrey?”

“I need a nap.”

  
  



	26. Historical Customs and Family Planning

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sebastian celebrates his first Christmas

 

Jeff leaned over Annie and carefully gave her a kiss on the forehead, doing is best to not disturb her as she began drifting into slumber. It had continued to be a hectic time in their household, and he wondered if she had been disappointed that her birthday celebration last week had been more than a little subdued, despite his and Sophie’s efforts with cake and party hats. Sebastian had been fussy and in need of more soothing than usual, which Jeff tried not to take personally. He had really wanted Annie to have her day.

But she hadn’t seemed to care that much, her focus intent on mitigating their newborn’s woes. She would coo at him in a tone Jeff vaguely recalled her using with Sophie way back when, and her attentions usually did the trick, the baby calming and either sucking away or blissfully gazing up at his mother’s face.

“Do you have him?”

Jeff smirked at Annie’s mumbled question, and he patted the bundle plastered to his chest. The wonders of swaddling technology ceased to amaze him, even if he did slightly freak out when Annie had helped him rig everything up a few minutes ago. Sebastian had almost instantly calmed, and if Jeff didn’t know any better, he could have sworn he’d seen a half-smile. It was probably gas, but he’d take it.

He replied, “I’ve got him. Go to sleep.”

She murmured something unintelligible and then in a startlingly abrupt transition, began to softly snore. He stood up fully and glanced down at the baby, now giving him a kiss on his fine baby hair.

He whispered, “We got this, squirt. Let’s let Mama rest.”

 

X

X

The wonders of his new arrangement continued, for now his hands were free. Despite being giddy with sleep deprivation, he busied himself with putting away clean dishes. It was absolutely perfect the way he didn’t have to worry about the squirt at all, for he was right there. He’d hear any hint of a cry and he’d be able to tell if he stopped breathing.

He glanced down at that horrible thought, and was relieved that all breathing was still occurring.

The buzz of his phone was a little jarring, but he quickly reached for it on the counter and seeing it was Ian, picked up.

“Yeah?”

“Jeffrey, I’m so very glad I reached you. I am in need of assistance, my good friend.”

He winced, not knowing what he was thinking in answering.

“Crap, I don’t have time for this. Do you not realize the massive event that’s been my life these past three weeks?” He had the alarming thought that tomorrow was Christmas, which was technically the day Sebastian was supposed to be born. The only thing he had done in preparation was help Sophie with her present for her baby brother. He glanced down once again at the fuzzy haired creature molded to him and felt a rush of contentment in his heart.

“I know, Jeffrey, which is why I haven’t bothered you with my troubles up until now. But I don’t know what to do. I need help.”

“What kind of help?”

“I’m in front of the Dirty Cowgirl, my dear chap. If I go in, I’ll be blotto in no time.”

A furry paw stepped on his toe, and he glanced down to see Ruffles staring up at him, her ears cocked. He briefly wondered if she sensed it was Ian on the phone. She hadn’t seen him all of winter break, and Jeff suddenly felt irrationally guilty that perhaps keeping Ian from the dog led to his current potential re-spiral into drunkenness.

“Crap. Do you want to go in?”

“I need help.”

Jeff sighed and ran his hands through his hair, which was not really coiffed to his usual specifications since he hadn’t really planned on leaving the apartment today. He considered his options, aware that his mother had let Sophie accompany her to the vet’s after Hank had gotten what she suspected was an ear infection. Annie was blissfully asleep, and Sebastian seemed to be doing all right at present.

Ruffles barked, and he almost jumped.

With a rub to the bundle at his chest, he said, “I want you to meet me somewhere. I’ll text you directions.”

“You’re a lifesaver, Jeffrey.”

 

X

X

He didn’t know what he was thinking, but thinking was more difficult these days so he didn’t really give a damn. Somehow he managed to make his hair look decent, assure himself that the baby was dry, and clip Ruffles to her leash.

He threw on his winter coat, wrapping it around Sebastian and zipping it up. It probably looked ridiculous, but for a change he wasn’t going to try to do anything about that. For good measure, he used a scarf so that the baby’s head wasn’t exposed and fitted him with one of his adorable knit caps. So far the kid hadn’t been outside more than a few minutes at time as they took him to and from the car for his bris and his pediatrician visit. He wanted to ensure he’d be okay on a two block walk and figured that his own body heat would help.

It never got insanely cold in Colorado until late January/February anyway, so he consoled himself that this wasn’t a stupid thing to do. Ruffles was going to pee their floor anyway.

The trio made it in the elevator and then out to the sidewalk, and Jeff reminded himself that there was a first time for everything. His life was so radically different from five years ago that it was fucking insane if he stopped to think about it. He could take care of his newborn, and Annie could get some needed rest.

He balanced the diaper bag on one shoulder and held the leash on the other side and slowly began to make his walk toward the Yellow Rose Cafe.

 

X

X

  
The door opened with a jingle, and Ian’s head shot up from his spot in a cozy corner of the nearly empty cafe. He was already gripping his tea, shuddering at the fact that it was in a overly huge mug yet grateful for the warmth. He tried to push out of his mind that it really could use a proper saucer.

At any rate there stood Jeffrey, his hulking frame even more pronounced by his puffy coat and scarf. He was a fine specimen indeed and if he weren’t mostly hetero he’d have jumped his bones given half a chance. He certainly understood what Britta had seen in him.

Britta. He wanted to cry.

Instead, he offered a friendly wave, and Jeffrey nodded in his direction before indicating with his head down to the delightful creature at the end of his leash. Her head was cocked, and her little black eyes pierced into his soul.

“Ruffles!”

His heart swelled and he was surprised to suddenly realize he was standing. Jeffrey let out what sounded to be a short dry laugh.

The woman behind the counter exclaimed, “Oh, so you did bring him! He’s such a darling!”

“Thanks, but it’s a she. Her name’s Ruffles. And thank you.”

“No problem. My boss isn’t here anyway, and it’s so cold outside. I appreciate you calling ahead to check, though.”

Ian found himself scrambling forward to give Ruffles a proper greeting.

 

X

Jeff knew instantly he had made the right decision. Talking Ian down from a potential bender was always a tedious process, but Ruffles had a calming effect on him. Jeff couldn’t imagine Ian would even consider actually going to a bar after nuzzling his favorite dog.

Ruffles was clearly ecstatic to see him as well, and Jeff had a suspicion Ian was second to Sophie as her favorite person. He didn’t understand the appeal exactly but was also aware they were friends for some reason. Ian was a strange guy, but he grew on you.

He dropped the leash into Ian’s hands and let them get reacquainted while he removed the scarf and unzipped his coat to reveal his other special companion. The woman behind the counter, who was confirmed to be quite young and likely working early Christmas Eve as a college gig, squealed and clapped her hands.

“You brought a baby too!”

Jeff grinned and said, “We needed to get out. He’s three weeks, so please excuse him if he isn’t that friendly.”

“Awww, what would you like?”

“Coffee. Black. Strong as you got it.”

“No problem.”

Within a minute, they were seated across from Ian, Ruffles under the table, her head on Ian’s feet. The barista had gotten them a water dish for Ruffles and had even poured Jeff’s freshly-brewed coffee. He supposed it didn’t take long to get something if it wasn’t full of anything else.

He considered it might be wise to very carefully sip his beverage, as Sebastian was right there. He smiled sheepishly as he hesitated and then replaced the mug on the table.

Ian was now staring at the baby, his eyebrows comically arched as he took it all in.

“It was unavoidable. Annie’s sleeping.”

Ian nodded his understanding and then remarked, “You look like hell.”

“Ah, thank you. I try my best.” Jeff grimaced and very slowly picked up his mug and then leaned in the opposite direction of Sebastian’s head to sip. As the hot liquid hit his throat, he suddenly felt more human.

“It’s good to get out, actually.”

“Thank you for meeting me.”

“Don’t be stupid and start drinking again. You’ve come a long way.”

Ian shrugged and sipped his tea, staring once again at Sebastian. After some silent beats he said, “Britta ended it.”

Jeff closed his eyes in near pain, not because he was that invested in their weird relationship but because he knew this was going to be very bad. Ian did not do well with things like this, and it was with a sinking heart that he faced the real possibility that they’d have to also take Ian in, at least for Christmas. He wondered if he’d fit in the hall closet or possibly the bathtub.

Opening his eyes, he said, “Crap, I’m sorry.”

“She tried to do it a couple weeks ago after complaining I was buttering the toast a little too loudly, and no that is not a euphemism. I pretty much avoided her, but she found me last night Jeffrey, and she made her position clear. We had a good shag to say goodbye, but I woke up bereft.”

Sebastian began to whimper and Jeff wondered if he needed to move around. He began to carefully unbundle him as he said, “You’re gonna be okay.”

“I don’t know. She was the light of my life these past couple years. Now it’s just me and Kevin, and even he’s thinking of moving out now that the Dean’s talking about him actually teaching a Spanish class after he graduates in May. I’ll be so very lonely. He’ll probably even take the crabs.”

“Of course he’s going to teach at Greendale. My god…”

“I said I’ll be so very lonely.”

Jeff glanced up from Sebastian’s adorable, now more awake, face to  regard Ian’s puppy dog eyes inching closer to him from across the table. He quickly averted his gaze and finished unwrapping while saying, “You should get a dog.”

“I want Britta.”

He sighed as he cradled Sebastian with one of his arms while tossing the wrap to the side. He then deftly unzipped the diaper bag and produced a mini-boppy which almost instantly sprung outward. Ian reached forward to grab the thing and then they settled it to Jeff’s side and he slid the crook of his elbow onto it, wedging the pillow in between him and the chair arm.

“That was smooth.”

“Shut up. I’m still trying to get a handle on this whole new fatherhood thing.”

He smiled down at Sebastian, who was staring up at him with recognition. At least that’s what it seemed, and from what he had read was likely true at this age. He was becoming more interactive by the day and now held up a little fist and cooed.

“Yes, you are such a strong little guy. Wait until we do more tummy time later when your sister comes home.”

“Jeffrey?”

“Hmm?”

He startled at Ian’s tap on the table and looked up to see a curious expression.

“Dear God, I’ve lost you too.”

“Oh come on. You have not.” Jeff rolled his eyes.

Nodding vigorously, Ian said, “Yes, I have indeed. And I can’t really fault you, I’m sure, as you clearly have a lot going on and your baby is damn adorable.”

“Thanks.” Jeff smirked and then resumed regarding the baby, once again attempting to figure out the eye color. There was definitely more of a hint of blue these days, and that was in part more visible due to Sebastian opening his eyes more wide, which, along with his wrinkled brow, lent him the appearance of a slightly old man. Abed kept saying he looked like Yoda, and so far Jeff had ignored him but in this moment was starting to see the resemblance.

Sebastian let out  a cry, and he quickly motioned for the bag, which Ian slid over to him. He pulled out the pacifier from the side pocket and plopped it in his mouth. Instant contentment.

“Dear lord, you’re smitten.”

He was now aware of the grin he felt in his cheeks but didn’t really care about making any efforts to be suave and cool. Afterall, he was sitting with his son in his arms in a cozy little coffee shop, his odd friend and dog by his side. There was no need to be a flashy lawyer or engage in any sort of impression management. Plus, he had no energy.

God, he did love his little squirt. It was insane how much that was true.

He whispered, “You’re doing great, buddy.”

Sebastian sucked away and the drool began to roll down the edges of his mouth. Jeff grabbed a small cloth from the bag and dabbed him before placing it back.

It was about a minute later when Ian loudly cleared his throat and resumed his tale of woe.

“Britta plans to get her own place this summer, and if all goes well complete her masters in the coming year. She then has some big plans, and I’m afraid I don’t fit into them.”

Jeff nodded in sympathy and said, “Yeah, she told me she wants to be a mom.”

“She did?”

“Yeah, we had a little chat after the squirt’s bris. She also led me to believe she was going to talk to you about your relationship.”

Ian hunched forward and placed his chin on his hands, the most saddest of expressions Jeff had ever seen on fully display. He moaned, “She wants to be a foster parent, and she knows I don’t want children. So there was nowhere to go with this. I had been hoping she’d move in when Chang left, but alas.”

“Eh, you sure you don’t want kids?”

Jeff internally berated himself for the question, not necessarily wanting to venture into the intricacies of Ian’s mind, but it was too late, and he blamed his hormones. He swore he was getting intermittent oxytocin boosts in order to persist in changing diapers.

“It wasn’t something I ever saw myself doing.”

“Neither did I, but here I am. Just look at this little guy.”

Ian lifted his head and peered over at Sebastian. He sighed, “I’ve held plenty of babies, Jeffrey. I’ve never once felt the paternal urge.”

With thoughts of Britta’s heartbroken hunched figure on the synagogue steps flashing through his mind, Jeff pushed back his chair and stood. He walked over and carefully handed the baby to Ian. He then sat back down and grabbed his coffee and took a hearty sip.

“Jeffrey, this is not helping.”

“Oh, you’re great with him. Look at that cradle.”

Ian rolled his eyes and then as Sebastian began to fuss, deftly transferred him to a football hold, and when that didn’t do the trick, moved him onto his lap in a face to face position, and then finally turned him onto his belly on one hand, and caught the pacifier as Sebastian spit it out.

Jeff stared wide eyed at the whole display and at his son who was now seeming very at ease in facing the floor. He glanced down to see Ruffles cocking her head up at the baby and wagging her tail furiously.

“How the crap did you know to do that?”

With a bored countenance, Ian explained, “It’s a fairly simple hold, Jeffrey. I told you I’ve held plenty of babies. My cousin, who is actually a whore, has five of them. Sebastian seems to enjoy this, probably because he’d rather look at Ruffles’ face than mine. You’re welcome.”

“Oh, shut up, Ian.”

 

X

X

Annie heard the door open, and she felt a rush of affection for her boys, as she had awoken to Jeff’s note and been both relieved at being alone for the first time in weeks and also a little worried. She told herself she was being silly, as Jeff was perfectly capable of handling Sebastian, but it was still all so new for him. She hoped he wasn’t overwhelmed.

Ruffles greeted her by jumping onto the couch to be by her side, and she heard Jeff and Ian’s voices.

“This will be a merry old time indeed, my chap.”

“Oh, you’re sooo welcome.”

Ian poked his head around the corner and gave her a wave. “I hope you don’t mind, but Jeffrey would like me to bunk with the Dean tonight but spend most of the evening with you.”

She figured there was something going on, and she made a note to give Britta a call when she got a chance. She wondered why she hadn’t heard anything from her, and Jeff had already clued her in as to their conversation at the bris. She sighed inwardly as she considered she wasn’t being a very good friend lately to Britta, but as Jeff rounded the corner with Sebastian wrapped to his chest, she remembered the very good reason why that was the case.

With a big smile, she said, “Awwww, my boys together. How did it go?”

Jeff winked at her and replied, “He did great. He really does like being fused to me, but he had a little bit in the middle there when he wanted to wiggle a little and be held. Uncle Ian did a fantastic job, which is why he’s going to talk to Britta.”

“I never promised any such thing.” Ian scowled and plopped into a chair, readily accepting Ruffles as she jumped into his lap. “I have my friend here, and I’ll have you know I think I will consider getting a dog when Kevin moves out. That’s all I need. I think it might be very lovely indeed.”

Annie exchanged worried looks with Jeff and then walked over to him. She pet Sebastian’s head and leaned to the side so she could catch his eye.

“Aww, he looks so happy.”

“He can’t smile yet.”

“No, but I can tell. His little eyes are happy. You love your daddy, don’t you? He takes such good care of you.”

She kissed the baby’s nose and nuzzled in, taking in his smell. She missed him so much while at the same time relishing some freedom. She had already reorganized the laundry supplies and color coded his onesies, which made her feel competent and together.

She hummed, and Jeff placed his arm around her and pulled her in closer.

“I have some good news. I couldn’t wait for you to get home so I could tell you.”

“You’re pregnant.”

She swatted his arm and stared up at his smirking face. With squinty eyes, she said, “I’ll have you know that I got an A plus on my final forensics exam. It was all worth it.”

His eyes widened, and he cleared his throat, taking an oddly long pause before giving her the expected congratulations.

“Wow, great job.”

“Thank you.” She preened and ignored his perplexed expression.

 

X

X

The next day was Christmas, and Jeff and Annie were touched when Dorie and the Dean announced their plans to host dinner at the Dean’s apartment and invite some friends over. They had a suspicion everyone had been invited ages ago but that no one had wanted to bother them with the details over the past few weeks.

Ian of course was still at the Dean’s and was planning to stay another night, at Dorie’s insistence. Buzz came over with Abed and Troy, as apparently they had needed a ride due to Troy’s car breaking down on fifth avenue during a cheddar run to Penelope’s nana the night before. Jeff and Annie knew better than to ask any questions about that. Kevin was apparently at his ex-wife’s house in some bid at reconciliation which Ian had also been moaning about in his sleep, according to the Dean. Pierce and Gilbert had jetted away to the Bahamas for a couple weeks, which was probably best as there wasn’t a lot of room after Holly and her kids showed up and explained that they were staying at a hotel nearby. Britta had texted thanking Dorie for the invitation but explained she was going to be spending the holiday with her parents for the first time in ten years.

Shirley popped in with little Ben to snuggle Sebastian, give Sophie a bunch of kisses, and saddle them all with a huge plate of pies. She then with a tone of weariness excused herself to go back to host her in-laws.

“It’s a Dean-tastic Christmas, everyone!”

“Happy Dean-miss!”

“No, Troy, it’s Christmas.”

“You know I can’t celebrate Christmas unless I’m covert, Abed.”

“Sorry.”

Annie exchanged grins with Jeff, who was holding Sophie on his lap as she chuckled at some silly faces Buzz was making at her across the table. They had somehow piled in a bunch of chairs like they had at Thanksgiving over a year ago, and although the apartment was small, it was full of the people they loved.

Annie kissed Sebastian, who was wrapped to her chest, and then leaned over and whispered to Jeff, “I love you. Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas.” He kissed her cheek.

“I still remember Sophie’s first Christmas, and how we spent it with you and your family. I’m so happy that Sebastian can have his with all our people here too.”

Sophie turned and looked up at Annie. _“Mama, I wanna call you Mommy, okay?”_

Annie startled and exchanged confused looks with Jeff before she asked, “You want to call me mommy?”

Sophie nodded and explained, _“All the kids at school say mommy, and they said I’m a baby if I call you mama. Sebastian’s a baby, but I’m not. He can call you mama and I can say mommy.”_ She smiled triumphantly and awaited a reaction.

Something in Annie’s heart almost broke, but she couldn’t explain why. Her daughter wanted to call her something else, not sever all contact with her. Why even Britta who was estranged from her parents could come back home. She could come back home to her own mother, even if she had once sworn that she wouldn’t ever want to see her again.

Little Sophie, her first baby, wasn’t leaving her. She was trying to be more grown-up.

Choking down a sudden sob, Annie said, “Of course you can call me mommy, sweetie. You can call me whatever you want.”

 _“Oh, yay! I love you Mommy!”_ Sophie clapped her hands.

She smiled tightly and then quickly turned away, catching Dorie’s eye from across the table. Dorie smiled sadly at her but gave her an encouraging nod as if to say she had been there too.

Jeff patted her back and then asked, “Hey, do I get to be called something else too?”

_“No, Daddy. You’re still Daddy. And I’m still munchkin Sophie. Do you understand?”_

“Yeah, munchkin, I do.”

 

X

X

After dinner, Annie and Jeff were ushered back to their apartment as Dorie and several of the other guests helped the Dean clean up. They had to admit that it was nice to just be home again, even if it was only for a little bit before they went back to open presents. Sophie remained at the Dean’s to play with Sam and Braden, but Troy and Abed followed them over without invitation.

They didn’t really mind actually, as Troy readily took Sebastian and sat in a chair, propping the baby into the crook of his elbow as he flipped on the television.

“Nothing too loud, Troy.”

“Yeah, I know. I just wanna check the football scores.”

Jeff sighed and plopped down on the couch and leaned over to wrap his arm around Annie, who was now sprawled out and yawning. He played with her hair and mused, “You okay with the whole mommy thing?”

“Yes, but it still hurts.”

“I get it.”

“I don't’ think you do. She always calls you daddy.”

“And one day I'll be dad.”

“And I’ll be mom. Why do I have to be something else before then? She’s my baby.”

He kissed her forehead and continued to caress her hair. Abed sat in another chair and affected a bored stare as he watched the sports news.

“You know, Sophie loves you Annie. You’re a great mom.”

Annie lifted her head and smiled at Abed’s profile. His eyes were still on the television. She said, “Thank you.”

“She just wants to fit in. But you are a good mom, and I’d love it if you were my mom. I told Sophie and she told me to back off.”

“Awww, Abed. I love you.”

“So I promised her you can’t be my mom, which I already knew so I apologized to her if I misled her. I think we’re okay now. I gave her a cookie and she seemed pleased.”

“I’m really glad you look out for the munchkin, buddy.”

Abed prattled on, “I used to think Britta was going to be my mom, since obviously Jeff’s my dad, but she’s not even here with us on Christmas, a holiday which of course I don't’ really celebrate but it makes for a good group episode. Thank god Pierce isn’t here.”

There was an odd yet comforting silence, as they all stared at the television, most of them not really encoding it. Annie knew Jeff didn’t really care about sports other than soccer.

There was a soft knock and then Ian came in, leaning over to whisper to Jeff, “I have to go.”

Jeff turned and said, “Not okay. I promised my mom I’d look out for you. You’re staying tonight.”

“Something went wrong at Britta’s parents’ house.”

Annie abruptly sat up and turned to see Ian looking half-crazed, his eyes wide and his hair askew. If she didn’t know better, she might suspect he was drunk, but there had been no alcohol at the Dean’s. No, she thought, it was likely manic intensity, an aura of purpose.

Seeming to sense her thoughts, he said, “Yes, I have a mission. I must help Britta.”

She sniffed, once again realizing tears were flooding her eyes. “Of course you do. Please let us know how she is.”

He nodded, “Righty.”

With that, he swiftly turned and left.

Annie squeezed Jeff’s hand.

 

X

X

After once again gathering at the Dean’s, they began the gift exchange, with the understanding that it was mostly for the kids and Troy and Abed, the adults mostly chatting and awwing over the various items the kids opened.

Buzz was sadly absent, but Santa made an appearance to hand out some Christmas games and candy.

Sophie cheerily tore into gifts from her grandma and Buzz, rebuffing Annie’s attempts at helping her carefully remove the paper along the tape lines. She shrieked in delight as she accepted some new books, a board game, and a few hair bows.

Sam and Braden enjoyed their presents as well, also receiving books but some balls that the Dean kinda freaked out about being in his living room before begrudgingly giving in, and some comic book t-shirts.

Troy and Abed enjoyed the DVDs they had given to each other as well as hot cocoa packets and a huge slab of cheddar.

“Aw, man, I didn’t know you got one for me.”

“That’s because I hid it safely in my armpit.”

Ruffles liked her new squeaky toy, which Jeff was already plotting how to ‘break.’

And then it came time for Sebastian, and he received several little outfits. They had already gotten most of his baby items at the shower anyways, so Annie wasn’t really expecting much from anyone other than reveling in the time with her loved ones.

It was then that Jeff cleared his throat and said, “Sophie has something for the squirt.”

She grinned and said, “Awww, what is it?”

He exchanged conspiratorial looks with Sophie and then motioned at her. She ran toward the dining table and then came back with a messily wrapped box.

_“I wrapped it, Sebastian. This is from me and Daddy. But mostly from Daddy since he told me we were going to get it for you. But I got to pick it out, so I picked this one. So it’s mostly from ME.”_

Annie giggled as she lifted Sebastian just a little bit in her arms and with a nonverbal exchange with Jeff, handed him over so she could accept the present. She waited a moment to consider her options but then just tore the thing open.

_“Yay, Mommy!”_

That was still going to have to be something she needed to get used to.

She finished removing the paper, tossing it aside with gusto, which felt oddly exhilarating yet a bit irresponsible. She wasn’t sure if she’d be able to reuse it. She then regarded the box and lifted the lid to reveal a brown stuffed bear.

“Awwww! He has his very own bear! Sebastian, did you see this? It’s from Sophie.”

Sophie inched closer and placed her head on Annie’s lap as she stared lovingly at Sebastian. The baby blinked from Jeff’s arms and regarded the bear with what most would assume was a neutral expression.

But Annie knew differently. He loved his bear.

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



	27. Family Folklore and Rites

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jeff and Sophie have an outing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It’s been a few weeks since I’ve updated, due to work demands. This is shorter installment, as I will be away for a couple weeks and wanted to at least pay this story some attention before I left. Rest assured, there will be more!

 

It had been a trying couple weeks, full of intense highs and snappy irritable lows. Jeff didn’t know how they had done it, but they had.

They had survived. Sleep deprivation be damned.

He hadn’t been attending to office matters much, as Mark had given his repeated assurances that he, Penny, and Wally could handle things. Any guilt he had at merely chiming in here and there and offering a digital signature was squashed at another one of Sebastian’s plaintive cries or at Sophie’s Disney eyes.

He had been trying to do better at spending time with Sophie, and he figured now was as good a time as any to head into the office with her for an hour or two to get some stuff done that he had wanted to jump start before he dove back in full-force. Not that he could really fathom going back to work full-time after cradling his newborn son, for he didn’t want to miss any development, but Annie had insisted.

“It’ll be easier if you meet with Anderson in person. You don’t want him to stay with Ted do you?”

He groaned and rolled onto his back, as he was on the floor next to Sebastian, who was in the middle of tummy-time on his mat. Annie lay on the other side, her eyes likely boring into him as she made her point.

“I can’t leave you guys. I mean, look at him.” He resumed his pose on his side, propping his head on one hand while gently poking the baby on the nose. The fact that this action elicited a slightly wider stare made it seem remarkable in many ways, which he supposed didn’t make a lot of sense but he no longer cared. Their son was damn adorable, and now he fully understood how parents lost their minds and became obsessed with their new babies. Britta had told him to shut up yesterday after she had called him for some reason he didn’t remember, not that Britta telling him to zip it was that unusual.

The fact that Shirley of all people had the same reaction yesterday evening when she had stopped by with a casserole made him ever so slightly aware he was perhaps becoming very annoying.

He added, “Look at his little squishy face. Hey buddy, you are doing great. Keep that head up.”

Sebastian stuck out his tongue as he exerted every ounce of strength he had.

_ “You can do it, Sebastian! You go!” _

Annie smiled as Sophie approached from the direction of her room, Ruffles eagerly on her heels.

“Hi sweetie.”

_ “I wanna help with him.” _

Jeff piped in, “Of course you can help with him.”

As Annie grabbed an excited Ruffles, who had begun to sniff around the baby’s feet, she laughed and said, “Oh, you are all so cute!” She then added in a more serious tone, “But Jeff, really you need to go meet with Anderson. After what Mark said about him more wanting to work with you, I think it’s really important. Plus, it’ll be a good trial run for next week.”

“Next week?”

As if he were a complete idiot, she gasped, “It’s the start of the new semester! The Beautify Greendale Committee needs you!”

“Oh, crap. Annie, I’m not doing that.” He continued to stare at Sebastian as he growled and pulled Sophie into his chest so that she could face the baby. The squirt’s eyes widened once again, and they were most definitely Annie-blue. And he could have sworn fierce.

Undeterred, Annie persisted, “You have to! Otherwise everything will just fall apart.”

“Let it. I don’t care.”

“And your mother will be starting her job with the Dean!  _ My _ old job, actually, and I think you need to go with her.”

“She’s been working her entire life. She doesn’t need me.”

“Yes she does, Jeff. And you need to make sure the Dean gets her started on the right foot. Of course she’s welcome to call me with any questions, but as you know I might have my hands busy.”

_ “I’ll help you, Mommy.” _

“Sweetie, you’ll be at school.”

_ “I don’t wanna go to school. I wanna stay here with you and Daddy and with my baby brother.” _  Sophie nudged Sebastian’s bear, which was now wearing a lovely purple dress, toward him, which elicited an impressive amount of drool.

She squealed,  _ “He’s getting all red! Ooooh, you try so hard, Sebastian, you can do it!” _

It was then that the stink wafted through the air.

_ “Ewwww, Sebastian, no!” _

“Sweetie, he can’t help it. He needs to be changed. Jeff….?”

“You know, maybe I should go back to work.”

_ “I wanna come with you, Daddy. Ewww. I’m gonna get changed into my work clothes and then we go.” _

 

X

X

So that’s how Sophie, now wearing a sensible skirt and unicorn t-shirt,  ended up accompanying him to the office. He knew Annie was relieved to have her out of her hair so she could get some stuff done around the house and maybe a nap if she were lucky, and she also ushered Ruffles out the door with them. His mom had fortunately and unfortunately returned to her home in Denver for a couple days to attend to matters, and while it was nice to have the apartment less crowded with Hank and all, it was becoming more evident how much they had been relying on his mother to pick up the slack with the dog and kid.

It didn’t escape his notice that Sophie sported her Dora the Explorer backpack, but the fact that she was shoving his duffel bag toward him when he was putting on his shoes flustered him.

_ “We’re going to the gym, Daddy. You need the gym.” _

Who was he to argue. The little-less-than-hobity creature was certainly wise, plus he was fairly certain she reveled in the play area at the facility, for they had a particular bouncing ball she was always trying to take home. He considered that he hadn’t been going to the gym at all in the past five weeks, and that brief though terrified him as he realized how out of touch with his physique he had become. He hadn’t even scrutinized his abs, or likely lack thereof, in the mirror when he dressed today.

He managed with a cheerful tone, “Good idea, munchkin. But let’s do that after work, okay.”

Chauffeuring Sophie and Ruffles was second nature to him by now, as they were both fairly cooperative. The thought of taking Sebastian in the car anywhere by himself still filled him with anxiety, and luckily he hadn’t needed to do so yet. He recalled the first time he buckled Sophie in by himself and they made that trek to his mom’s house after Annie had run off during their second year. He shuddered at the memory of Annie’s pain while also recalling how terrified he had been about being in charge of Sophie. Yet everything had turned out okay. He knew one day he could take the baby somewhere in his Lexus, but he was relieved it wasn’t today.

He pulled up to Casa de Troberry and after a few minutes of maneuverings, the three of them were trudging up the three flights of steps. Although the elevator appeared to be working, he didn’t trust it for a second.

After a couple knocks, Britta opened the door and cast a wide smile at Sophie, pouncing down to pick her up and pull her into a hug. He followed them inside and then after getting a nod of approval from Britta, unclipped Ruffles and let her go.

He watched as she tore across the room, the yelp of one of the cats  and then a hiss undetering her as she leapt through Troy’s ajar bedroom door.

“Thanks for watching her. I couldn’t get a hold of Ian.”

With a shrug, Britta replied, “It’s no problem,” before shifting gears with a grin, “Hey Sophie, do you want to stay too? I’m sure your daddy is just going to his boring work.” She then made a face of mock disgust, and Sophie giggled.

_ “No, I wanna stay with Daddy. I miss him. He’s always sleeping.” _

“Getting a lot of snooze time, Jeff?”

“Yeah, right.”  

He was still feeling off, something nagging at his mind, almost as if he were forgetting something. At his likely foggy stare, Britta smirked and motioned for him to follow her into the kitchen. Sophie squiggled, and Britta bent down to let her go, and they watched her run off after Ruffles.

Troy’s voice called out in delight, “Damn! I get both of you!”

Jeff chuckled as he and Britta went into the kitchen. He frowned down at the empty cereal bowl and spoon on the counter.

“Where’s Abed?”

“He left early, something about shooting some footage over on campus before the new semester started. Leonard picked him up.”

With a weariness, Jeff perched himself on a stool and accepted the mug of steaming coffee Britta shoved at him.

“Leonard drives?”

“I know, right? Someone should probably call the cops.”

He inhaled the aroma of the heavenly beverage and was thankful that Britta knew good coffee. Not that he was that picky at the moment, but it was very welcome. He hadn’t been able to consume enough, and he needed to be sharp for the meeting with Anderson. He took a long sip and then sighed in satisfaction.

“Thank you.”

Britta smiled in that way she did when she was genuinely pleased that she could help someone, and it made him slightly giddy. As he watched her wrap her hands around her own mug and settle into a stool opposite him, it finally occurred to him what he had forgotten.

It had been two weeks since Christmas, two weeks since Ian had left to rescue Britta, and two weeks since he had known that something had been resolved and that she was okay, but two weeks of them not talking about it. He considered that perhaps her phone call yesterday had been an attempt to discuss it, but he hadn’t picked up on it.

God, he was an ass.

He said, “Hey, I’ve got a few minutes, and the munchkin’s busy, so how are you?”

She shrugged and stared off for a moment before returning her gaze and smirking slightly.

“I’m good.”

“I’m sorry I haven’t been really around. You wanna talk about anything? Like that parent situation, which while I don’t have any details, sounded kind of a big deal.”

He studied her reaction, noting she was bobbing her head as she seemed to think through her response, but she didn’t appear upset.

Finally, she replied, “It was awful but necessary. I had to see if there was anything there.”

“And?”

“We had a nice time at first, but then I pushed, and they went back into their let’s all just pretend everything's fine and nothing ever happened mode, and it pissed me off. And then I surprised myself and pretty much had a breakdown. So after I stole a kid’s big wheel bike and made it two blocks away, I called Ian, which I know you know about since he was with you.”

Jeff nodded and waited for her to continue.

“So he helped me steel myself up for going back and having a more serious talk with them. They didn’t like it, but I think they understood that if we’re going to have any sort of relationship, they need to listen to me, and they need to believe me, even if it hurts.”

“Jesus.”

“My mom pretty much cried and locked herself in the bathroom for an hour, and my dad ended up having like five shots of booze before he punched a hole in the garage wall. It was the squooshy insulation, so it wasn’t as dramatic as it sounds.”

“That sounds hella dramatic to me.”

She smiled slightly and said, “Yeah, it was kind of awesome. They never show they’re upset, and it comes across as pretty dismissive. To see them get angry really helped me. I ended up hugging both of them before leaving, and then, well, things seemed different.”

Jeff sat there dumbfounded, not sure at all what to say. He exchanged looks with her, and he non verbally confirmed it was a pretty big deal. She did seem more at ease, and he kind of wanted to hug her too, but instead he sipped his coffee again and then gave her a wry grin.

Beaming now, she said, “Ian and I got back together. He missed me, and clearly I missed him. So, we’ve decided we’ll just figure it all out.”

“Wow, so the kid thing?”

“He’s considering it. Obviously it’s not something we’d do right away, as you have to go through a bunch of training and stuff and get into the system, and I want to finish my masters.”

“That’s great. I’m happy for you guys.”

Now blushing, she half-curled into her mug as she glanced toward her closed bedroom door and said, “So that’s kind of what drove Abed out of here, I think. They still have issues.”

He followed her gaze toward her door and nodded in comprehension. He made a mental note to shout his goodbyes when they left.

  
  


X

X

X

Looking up at the sign for Riverside Family Law was always surreal. Jeff sighed, the full awareness that this was in fact his co-owned law firm hitting him for perhaps the first time.

He had felt so disconnected lately, but really he did care about the damn place. Annie was right that he needed to stop in before heading back more fully on Monday.

Well, after The Beautify Greendale Committee, he guessed. Who was he kidding? Annie knew he was a control freak, and given her own tendencies which he knew better than to even mention, she was probably eager for at least one of them to be involved.

And it wasn’t as if he were going to be putting in complete days anyway next week, as Sebastian was proving to be even more work than he had even fathomed. It was mundane yet fascinating work at the same time, and he Annie were in this together.  They’d socialize that little squirt just as they had (and still did) with the munchkin.

He smiled down at Sophie, who was holding his hand and staring up at the sign as well, almost as if she could read it.

“What do you think, munchkin? Shall we go inside?”

_ “Yeah, and then I wanna see Penelope. Troy said she has  more pennies for me.” _

“Well then I guess we’d better head in there.”

As they approached the front desk, Penelope lifted her head and then made an expression of mock surprise.

“Oh my, Sophie, is that you? And Jeff, long time no see.”

He groaned and ran his fingers through his hair, conscious of the fact that in all the chaos he hadn’t even introduced his son to Penelope or Mark for that matter. He had gotten murmurings of understanding from them with pronouncements of them not wanting to intrude, but he felt a little guilty. Plus, there was the whole Penelope-Troy thing. It had felt a little weird that Troy had been pretty involved with Sebastian thus far, yet his girlfriend was nowhere to be found.

He managed, “God, I’m sorry. Annie and I really want you to meet the squirt, but it’s been insane. We can’t organize anything.”

She seemed to take a good solid look at him and then nodded emphatically, which he tried not to take as an insult as he was sure he looked haggard. Even using his best concealer hadn’t been enough to completely obscure the dark circles.

As she rolled a penny over to a delighted Sophie, she said, “Hey, it’s okay, really. I get it. Newborns are tough.”

“No, it’s not okay. I know you and Troy are a thing, so really, you should come over. I just don’t always register it, if you know what I mean.”

“Worlds colliding?”

“Yeah.”

“Are we okay?”

He almost startled at her question, and then realized she was likely feeling insecure as well despite her tendency to be able to project an assured demeanor. He quickly said, “God, yes.”

She smiled slightly and then turned her attention completely back to Sophie, who had maneuvered her way in back of the desk and was pointing over to her toy box in the corner.

“You ready to play while your daddy’s in his big important meeting?”

_ “Yeah!” _

“Penelope, you don’t have to babysit her, I already talked to Mark and he said he’ll do it.”

“It’s fine. I mean, he can come out and play if he wants to do, but really, if you’re okay with me taking an hour away from some emails, then so am I.”

“Thank you.” He hesitated and then leaned over the desk with his phone and said, “You wanna see pictures?”

She squealed as she accepted his phone and began to peruse.

“Oh my he’s so cute.”

“We’re pretty happy with the way he turned out.”

“He looks like you, with that nose.”

“Yeah, everyone says that. You think?” He squinted at the picture as he walked behind the desk and sat down. Sophie quickly climbed in to his lap and proceeded to regard the picture as well.

Penelope hummed as she swiped to the next pic and said, “Oh, definitely, but those eyes are definitely his mother’s.” She then winked at Sophie and said, “Your brother has the same eyes as you.”

_ “Yes, but I have my own eyes.” _

“They’re the same color is what I meant, and they look like yours and your mom’s.”

_ “We look the same. I wanna be like my Mommy. She’s so pretty.” _

“Yes, she is.”

_ “And Sebastian can be just like Daddy. But he looks like ME.” _  With a triumphant smile, Sophie turned and gave Jeff a big kiss on his cheek.

  
  


X

X

The meeting with Anderson went well. It wasn’t that he thought it would be a disaster, but it was more of trying to look alert and competent enough to provide the necessary reassurance. But by then end of their talk in the back conference room, Anderson stood and firmly shook his hand.

“I think this is the start of something beautiful.”

Jeff smiled and said, “I agree. I’ll be in touch with Hamish, Hamish, & Hamlin and have all the necessary files transferred immediately.”

Anderson, a neatly dressed and bespectacled professional man in his 40s, placed his notepad in his suitcase and said, “I can’t tell you how relieved I am to make this switch. After the holiday party I was beginning to panic. They had Alan Connors on my account. So even though you guys are branded as family law, your partner assured me you have the experience to handle my dealings. Plus, I do have some family stuff I’d like to handle as well, so one-stop shopping, right?”

“Oh, definitely. We can do it all. Probate, custody agreements, mediation, you name it.”

“Adoption?”

Jeff cocked his head and replied, “That’s actually one of our specialties.”

“Great. My wife and I are looking into starting a family, but we need some guidance.”

“Well, we can set up a separate meeting to discuss, if you want. I suggest having your wife be here too so we can all be on the same page and can sign all the necessary paperwork. I’ll be in touch.”

“Great.”

As they were leaving the conference room, it occurred to Jeff that Anderson referenced the holiday party and alluded that he had been present for the Alan meltdown. He cringed as he considered that Anderson had likely witnessed Alan’s beratement of Annie and her poised response.

Perhaps Annie was right and she didn't need to hide from her past. Perhaps it had even earned them business.

His heart warmed at the thought, and as they entered the reception area, he knocked to get Penelope’s attention, and to his relief she was already scooting her chair over to the desk with a wide smile.

“Penelope, can you schedule a meeting for us with Mr. Anderson’s wife…?”

“Julia.”

“With Mr. Anderson…”

“Bill.”

“With Bill and Julia, for ….?”

“Sometime next week?”

“Excellent.”

“Yes, of course, Mr. Winger.” Penelope smiled demurely as she pulled up the schedule, and Jeff tried not to laugh.

_ “Daddy, are you all done now? I did my work so I think it would be a nice time to go to the gym.” _

Sophie had left her play area and was staring up at him, her eyes wide as she held a colorful drawing of what he could only surmise was a baby. He suddenly felt perhaps irrationally self-conscious, for he wasn’t sure how this would play out in a professional capacity. He exchanged a glance with Anderson, and to his relief he seemed amused.

Jeff replied, “Sophie, it’ll be a few minutes. Why don’t you go find Mark and I’ll come get you when I’m done.”

_ “Did you see this, Daddy? It’s a picture of Sebastian. He’s drooling. But he’s not pooping.” _

Jeff did his best to keep a straight face, and he nodded and said, “It’s awesome. Let’s take that home to Mommy.” He then turned to Anderson and ignoring Penelope’s stifled chuckles, explained, “We just had a new baby, and she’s really excited. Bill, this is my daughter Sophie, and Sophie, this is Mr. Anderson, he’s a client of mine.”

Sophie smiled and said,  _ “Thank you for giving me back my Daddy.” _

Anderson laughed and said, “You’re welcome. Thanks for letting me borrow him. But he’s all yours. That picture is great. You must really like your new baby brother?”

_ “I do like him, but he’s always drinking milk. It comes out of my Mommy’s boobies.” _

Jeff cleared his throat and have Sophie a gentle push toward the hallway and once again ignored Penelope’s now-chortles as he said, “Why don't you go show Mark your drawing? He loves your artwork.”

He turned back toward Anderson with a sheepish smile, but the whole thing seemed to be incredibly interesting to him.

“She’s adorable. How old is she?”

_ “I am, and I’m four, but I also have two birthdays. One I came out of my Mommy’s tummy day like Sebastian, and my other birthday is my gotcha day. It’s tomorrow. And Daddy and I are gonna have tea with my bear and maybe we get haircuts.” _

Always startled by Sophie’s continued progression in understanding, Jeff’s chest swelled. It was certainly the first anniversary of her adoption tomorrow, and he and Annie had been making some efforts at talking about it and normalizing it,  __ knowing full well as the years went on Sophie would become more aware of its significance. Sebastian’s birth had highlighted to them the importance of building in rituals and celebrations for the various ways in which they formed their family.

With a rush of emotion, he hunched down and scooped Sophie into his arms, then standing and giving her a decisive kiss on her cheek.

“We’re going to have so much fun tomorrow. And you know what, I think Lauren can fit us in for haircuts.”

_ “Yay!” _

  
  


  
  
  
  
  
  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> More to come. Thanks for reading.


	28. Advanced Romance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Annie and Jeff adjust to their new life

“Don’t ruin my shirt.”

“Jeff.”

Annie looked up from her spot perched on a stool at the kitchen counter and smiled, an expression at odds with her admittedly half-hearted admonishment. To her ever-expanding amazement, her husband was pacing and burping their son over his shoulder, a cloth safely placed as protection between them. It had been an exhausting time with all the feedings, and she was grateful that she had Jeff this time around to relieve her.

She’d miss him today as he headed back to Greendale and then the firm. It was the start of a new semester, and while she certainly had things to, it was unnerving that she’d be missing out on the exhilaration of a first day of school.

She’d miss the entire semester.

She frowned, knowing that there was a very good reason for doing so of course, spending time with her newborn, and this time it being for longer than eight weeks. She was looking forward to taking things more slowly with Sebastian, getting to know him and making sure he felt bonded to her. She had always wondered if the scrambling start with Sophie had been a good thing, but she was still sad.

_“Mommy? I want to show you something.”_

She snapped out of her reflections, her eyes darting from what she just realized was Jeff’s handsome smirk, to Sophie, who was tugging on her sweatpants in a plea for recognition. With some guilt, Annie smiled and asked, “Of course, sweetie. What is it?”

With a puffed out chest, Sophie nodded, closing her eyes. She then opened them and exclaimed, _“I’m wearing my purple first day of school dress, Mommy. And I’m bringing everything Daddy needs for our meeting.”_

Annie giggled as Sophie smugly reached into her backpack, which she was holding in front of her, and produced one of Jeff’s legal pads.

“Hey now, where did you get that?” Jeff peered over and seemed bemused with a hint of bafflement. He continued to pat Sebastian, and Annie once again marveled at how at ease he now seemed to be with their baby.

_“It’s for you, Daddy.”_

“Thanks, munchkin.” Jeff chuckled as he lifted Sebastian back a tad so that he could see his face and then planted a kiss on his forehead. “And thank _you,_ squirt, for not forcing me to change before I head out.”

The hint of a tear began to fall down down Jeff’s cheek, and Annie jumped to her feet and shuffled over to him. She wrapped her arms around his waist and leaned her head against his free shoulder. She felt Sophie thud into her legs in solidarity.

“It’s going to be okay.”

“I don’t want to leave you guys.”

 

X

X

“Isn’t this amazing? Going to school with my son and granddaughter. Why, I’m so pleased.”

Jeff rolled his eyes but smiled at his mom’s smack of his arm as he leaned down to give her a hug. As they pulled out of the embrace and she took Sophie's outstretched hand, Jeff remarked, “This is surreal, all right.”

_“I’m not staying, Grandma. Daddy and I are going to work after the meeting.”_

“I thought you were going to your own school to see all your friends?”

_“Oh, right. I forgot.”_

Sophie didn’t seem that upset and Jeff could of sworn she gave a shrug before she began skipping and tugging on his mom’s hand.

He eyed Buzz as he strolled up from parking his car, having let out Dorie a few minutes ago so she could join them. Jeff pushed down any remnants of uneasiness about his mom now living with a new man. He tried to tell himself it wasn’t official, but he knew better that his mom going back and forth between her home and Denver would be coming to a close soon as she got ready to put it on the market, as she and Buzz were actively searching for a house of their own in Greendale or Riverside.

He smiled slightly at Buzz, and per usual was greeted with a stiff nod and soft grunt. His mom leaving their apartment last week had been a soft blow. Sure, it had been crowded having her and Hank there, but now he missed her steadiness.

The four of them made their way up the steps to the Greendale Library.

Ruffles clicked her nails against the pavement and her tail wagged as she spotted Ian up ahead.

 

X

X

Annie held Sebastian to her breast as she flipped through the television channels. The baby wasn't feeding, as he had plenty right before Jeff and Sophie left, but he was comfort nursing, something that Annie encouraged knowing that it was a good way to bond and loving the closeness with her baby while at the same time being at times bored by it.

Plus her nipples hurt.

She winced but then consoled herself that Sebastian would likely drift off to sleep soon. She smiled down at him and caught him watching her, his blue eyes dancing, and she almost melted.

“Awww, we are going to have such a good day today, just you and me.”

 

X

X

“The first meeting of the second semester of the Beautify Greendale Committee is called to order.” Jeff smirked as he tapped his gavel, and Abed gave him a thumbs up, silently mouthing _Nice._

He leaned back in his chair and waited for everyone to entertain him.

Suddenly, the barrage began:

“So Annie’s really not coming anymore? Oh, I’ll miss that sweet child, but a mother knows when she’s needed at home.”

“Dude, Annie’s really not gonna make it? That sucks. I got her a present. It’s her very own seat cushion. I don’t know why I didn’t think of it last semester. I was happy to help her out, but man my butt hurt a lot.”

“Annie’s always been my favorite. Sophie is second, and I suppose Sebastian Anastasia Pierce is my third. I was hoping to see them today.”

“I don’t know how I’m supposed to solve any cork board capers with the lot of you. Sophie, maybe you can help me?”

_“I love capers, Buzz Buzz. What’s capers?”_

“My dear sir, I pronounced myself bored. I will content myself with petting this marvelous creature.”

“Hey guys, this is the Beautify Greendale Committee, and even if Annie’s not here, we should probably get to order. We have important business.”

“Thank you, Britta.”

“I don’t think any of us know how to lead a meeting.”

“Now that’s not true, Abed. I’m a lawyer.”

“Ok, Jeff. Let’s start by reviewing Annie’s corkboard of stars.”

“Crap.”

_“I miss my Mommy.”_

 

X

X

Annie smiled tightly as she stared at the television. It was insipid. Absolutely insipid.

Sebastian had nicely settled by now, and she had put the baby monitor near her so she could hear any peeps from the bedroom. She had tried to read, but her concentration wasn’t the greatest, and she didn’t feel like straightening up. She had a familiar irritability simmering under her skin alternating with gratitude for her place in life with her little guy in the other room.

But it was hard. She wasn’t used to being this bored.

She was grateful that she had had at least one piece of outside contact earlier when Troy had discreetly texted her about the meaning of her star system. She had been more than happy to provide him with the decoding sequence as well as provide some additional tips and ideas for task division, promising him that she’d allow him to take credit.

She once again stared at the television.

Who did they think was watching right now? Perhaps Britta had a point about some things.

The crying roused her from her stupor.

 

X

X

“Soooo, how are things.”  Jeff leaned over the counter and stared at his mother, who was now sitting eerily in Annie’s spot in the administration office. She had a look of slight weariness, which he strongly suspected had to do with her most recent interaction with the Dean.

She rallied herself soon enough and sat up straighter as she said with a cheerful tone, “Really well, thank you, dear. Just getting oriented. How was the meeting?”

Shifting his eyes, he shrugged and replied, “We met. We ate some snacks. We even began to tackle Annie’s stars.”

“Stars?”

As he fumbled with an eraser - _who uses erasers anymore? It was probably Leonard’s_ \-  on the counter, he explained, “Her system for organizing various projects. Luckily Troy seemed to a have one of his moments of geniusness, which I have some sneaking suspicions about, but god, I miss Annie.”

They shared a knowing smile.

“Where’s Sophie anway?” His mother began to reach over in back of her monitor as she added, “The Dean wanted me to give something to her, and to her baby brother.”

Jeff’s eyes followed her movements as she grabbed a bright pink gift bag, and he then noticed three framed photos on the desk. One was of him, Annie, Sophie, and Sebastian in the hospital, one was of Sophie on her bike, and the other was of Sebastian from last week when he was kicking his feet in the air and drooling profusely.

He felt a swell of pride as he stared at the photo. He then smiled and said, “She went to say goodbye to Ruffles. I’m going to swing by Ian’s classroom in a minute and fetch her.”

“Oh, pooh. Maybe I can sneak away and come with you?”

“Yeah, I don’t think that will be a problem.”

“Really dear? Now, I don’t want to start off on the wrong foot.”

“Mom.”

As if on cue, the Dean flung open the door and pounced from his office, his face lighting up as he spotted Jeff.

“Jeffrey! Why, it’s so nice to see you here, chatting with your mother, who let me say this, has been an absolute Dean-light today! She’s already figured out Annie’s system.”

At this, Dorie bristled and shot Jeff a concerned look, which he didn’t need to decipher. They both knew that if Annie were aware it only took an hour for Dorie to fill her spot she’d be alternating between forced cheeriness and rage.

With a deftness that Jeff always admired, his mother tilted her head and said, “Oh, now that’s because Annie was just an intuitive organizer. She took such care with everything that really she’s already done all the work. I’d hardly ever be able to replace her completely.”

“Oh, now Dorie, don’t make a fuss. You fit right in!” The Dean swooshed his hand in her direction and smiled indulgently.

“Craig.”

“You do!”

Jeff sighed and wondered if he should start calling the Dean by his first name as well. Afterall, he was no longer a student and although he didn’t even work there he figured he’d earned it from neighborly arrangements as well as being the head of the Beautify Greendale Committee.

Oh, and providing his mother. He supposed she’d swat him if he said that aloud.

With a smirk, he leaned back over the desk and motioned for the bright pink bag and said, “Oh come on, Craig, my mom says you have presents for the munchkin and squirt?”

The Dean pranced over and seized the bag from Dorie’s grip, which she appeared to take in stride as he was obviously full of delight. Upon holding it however, his eyes suddenly darkened and his grin transformed into a full on frown.

“Sorry, was I supposed to call you Dean? Crap, I can look I…”

“No, Jeffrey, that’s not it.” The Dean’s lip quivered and tears began to fall down his cheeks.

Jeff and his mom exchanged worried looks as the Dean stared into the gift bag.

With a gulp, he explained, “No offense, Dorie, but I wish Annie were here. I wanted to see her face when she saw these. I got her…” he gulped once more and then his voice raised several pitches as he said, “these adorable Greendale Community College clothes. Sophie has the pink hoodie and baby Sebastian gets the onesie and baseball cap.”

“We don’t even have a baseball team.”

“Shhh… Jeffrey, don’t you see he’s distraught?”

Jeff groaned and walked around to the other side of the counter and pulled the Dean into a ready hug. He muttered, “I miss her too.”

“I thought Sebastian could use athletic wear since he’ll probably be a big strapping boy just like you.”

“Jeff stared down at the now fluttering Dean lashes and did his best to ignore the advance, as he could quickly tell the Dean realized the inappropriateness of calling back to their earlier season one vibe.”

They all startled and looked over to see Abed narrating the events, perched on the countertop and munching on popcorn.

“And scene.”

 

X

X

Her hands on her hips, Annie surveilled the living room and tsked herself for being so undisciplined. The teal boppy lay on the edge of the couch from Sebastian’s last feeding, as did a half eaten bowl of ice cream with spoon, and a textbook on forensics. She peered closer at the book and noticed to her further dismay page twenty was covered in spit up. She reached for a clean burp cloth in her pile and wiped at it as she continued to scan the room.

It was a complete mess, and from such a tiny baby. Actually, she realized a lot of it was in chaos due to her attempts at entertaining or managing her own needs as she tended to the baby’s fussiness or feedings. She had been going back and forth and although each activity in theory only took a few minutes, with all the switching it had taken hours.

She sighed and ran her free hand through her hair and bristled as she encountered some gooey substance. She had a vague memory of Sebastian spitting toward her an hour ago before he went down for his nap, but she had thought she had gotten all of that. She frowned as she looked down to observe her half unbuttoned shirt - _really what was the point in keeping it buttoned anyway?_ \- and chocolate ice cream stained sweatpants. At least she hoped it was ice cream.

Her lip began to quiver, and she could sense she was about to wallow. Well, no that would not do at all. Sure, she missed her husband and daughter. She missed her friends. She missed Greendale. But she was here with her baby who needed her, and she could get it together.

She must get it together. She was an Edison-Winger afterall, and she would do this and she would do this with style.  She made the decision to do what she never thought she’d do.

She asked herself what her mother would do.

 

X

X

Jeff whistled as he walked with Sophie and Ruffles down the hallway toward their apartment. Sophie was wearing her new Greendale CC hoodie and he had Sebastian's present in his briefcase. He was thankful that Ian had arranged to meet them after he picked Sophie up from school this time but was considering having Ruffles at Greendale everyday was not going to be feasible given both his practice and Sophie's school were in Riverside. He supposed he’d just take Ruffles to the weekly Beautify meetings and then leave her with Ian for those days but otherwise leave her at home.  He knew he had to talk to Annie about it, but so far they had avoided it as things were pretty hectic with Sebastian.

He figured he’d have to broach the subject carefully, after seeing how she had done today. But despite that, he was in a fairly good mood. Not only had the committee divided up the various stars this morning, but Sophie had enjoyed being back at school and he had a couple productive meetings before his indulgent nap on his office couch. It was good to be back, even if it were only for a partial day.

It was also good to be returning home. He had missed his family so much. He had texted Annie to ask what she’d like for him to pick up for dinner, but she had replied that she had already taken care of it.

He let them into the apartment and then set Ruffles free, calling out in half-seriousness, “Honey, we’re home!”

He winced as he considered Sebastian might be sleeping and hoped he hadn’t just been an ass.

As he kicked off his shoes, and Sophie did the same, he was conscious of an oddly pitched laugh, and he bristled as it dawned on him that Rachel was over.

With a sigh, he waltzed around the corner in to the living room, sure he was going to spy his mother-in-law perched on the sofa. Instead, he was treated to the delightful yet surreal sight of Annie in a bright teal maternity dress, her hair cascading down her shoulders in soft waves, and her eye makeup completely done. She even sported a pink lip gloss which he knew from experience was strawberry flavored and something she wore when she was gearing up for something.

She flashed a bright smile at him and chirped, “Jeff! I’m so happy you’re home!”

He let out a bewildered laugh and quickly moved toward her, enveloping her in a hug.

“God, I missed you too.”

_“Aww, Mommy, you’re so pretty! I want a hug like Daddy.”_

Jeff mumbled, “Just a sec, munchkin,” and then leaned down for a kiss, tasting the strawberry and smiling against her lips as they pulled apart. The flutter of her eyelashes melted him, and he tried his best not to think of the Dean, which luckily wasn’t all too difficult due to the feeling of his chest making contact with Annie’s boobs.

The boobs that were definitely more prominent these days, just like old times.

She gave him a coy look and then bent down to scoop Sophie into an embrace.

“I missed you so much, sweetie. How was school?”

_“It was good, Mommy. I told Abby I’d be her friend.”_

“Who’s Abby?”

_“She’s my new friend. She likes purple too.”_

“Oh, that’s nice sweetie. I’m so glad you made a new friend. It’s really important to have friends.”

Sophie nodded and then glanced around the living room before giving Annie a questioning look.

“Oh, he’s sleeping. Be quiet, okay?”

_“Shhh. I’ll be quiet, Mommy.”_

With that, Sophie scampered off to her room, Ruffles in pursuit. Jeff chuckled and motioned Annie over to the couch, where she sat beside him.

“How was your day?” He gave her a suspicious look, as he took in the sight of her ensemble and became fully aware that the living room was immaculate, something that hadn’t been the case when he had left that morning, although he done his best to pick up a few things. He glanced at the vacuum marks in the carpet and wondered how she had managed it.

Sitting up straighter, Annie squeaked, “It was great! Sebastian did really well, he’s still eating like a champ, and he took his naps, and I was able to get a bunch of things done!”

With a sense of awe, he tilted his head and asked, “How on earth?”

She shrugged and preened a little, grabbing one of her loose waves and twisting it.

“I just figured it out. Oh, and Mrs. Clementine from down the hall stopped by to see Sebastian, so she offered to watch him while I took a shower. She was so sweet, saying she missed her grandchildren.”

“Who the hell is Mrs. Clementine?”

With an expression of exasperation, Annie explained, “She’s our neighbor. I met her when we first started seeing each other, or um, when I first started coming over. You know, for projects and stuff.” She blushed, which Jeff found arousing as he also remembered those flirtatious days, and then added, “Anyway, she’s been so sweet to Sophie, so I hope you don’t mind that I had her keep an eye on Sebastian. I really needed to freshen up.”

“You certainly did freshen up. You look fantastic. And really, whatever you need to do, I totally understand. Maybe I should bake Mrs. Clementine cookies as a thank you.”

She chuckled and leaned into his chest, and he pet her hair and smelled her shampoo. He then sniffed the air and caught the hint of something delicious.

“What is that smell?”

“It’s a roast.”

He pondered how in hell she did that, but he was also conscious of the fact that she was now caressing his arm, as she continued to lay against him, and he started to get distracted.

As if reading his mind, she lifted her head and fluttering her lashes once more, said, “I have my six week appointment on Thursday.”

“Hm?”

“I’ll probably get the all clear, for um, things.”  Her eyes shifted down, and he understood her meaning.

It was kind of crazy, to think she’d even be considering it, but then again he had never given birth so he had no idea what she was going through. He placed his hand on her chin and lifted it so they could make eye contact.

“Hey, it’s totally okay if you’re not up for that. We can take things slow. And by that, I mean glacial pace.”

There was a flash of bemusement coupled with annoyance before she swatted his hand away and said, “I miss you and I want us to feel close.”

“We have a newborn in a bassinet at the side of our bed, a newborn you pushed out of you only six weeks ago. I was there, Annie, and it looked and sounded incredibly painful. And I know you’ve been uncomfortable.”

“I’m so much better, really.” There was a flash of something else in her eyes, he couldn’t be sure but he thought it was fear as she added, “Are you freaked out about seeing me have a baby?”

With a burning in his chest, he sighed and replied, “No, that’s not it.”

“You were fine with us having sex before, and I had already had Sophie, but you hadn’t _seen_ it.”

“True, but that’s not what I meant. It’s only been six weeks, Annie. With Sophie, it was like a year.”

“We’re not waiting a year, Jeff.”

“Look, that’s not it. You know I want you, but I just want to make sure you’re going to actually enjoy it.”

They stared at each other for several beats, and he didn’t know what she was thinking. He certainly didn't want her to think he didn’t desire her, but he also felt more than a little guilty at having her push herself into becoming more intimate before she was ready. With a rush of love coupled with he supposed anxiety, he pulled her close to him and murmured, “I love you, and I don’t think there’s any rush.”

“Maybe we can ease into it?”

He smirked and looked down to see her smiling coyly, and he knew they’d be okay.

She added for clarification, “Like when you were wooing me?”

“Sure.”

He was about to kiss her when they heard some gurgles followed by cooing on the baby monitor. There was then Sophie’s sing-songy voice.

_“It’s wake up time, Sebastian. I’m home, so now we can play. I have a present for you. It’s from the Dean, and it will look soooo cute on you.”_

There was a bark in the background.

_“And I’ll go get Mommy and we can have tummy time. But first you can wear this hat.”_

Jeff and Annie shot each other alarmed looks and then rushed to the bedroom.

Jeff groaned as he took the hat off Sebastian’s face and was about to give Sophie a reprimand before he heard Annie.

“No! You are not to put things on his face! He can’t breathe, sweetie.”

_“I was just trying to give him his present!”_

“You are not to put things on him, do you understand?”

_“I’m sorry, Mommy.”_

Jeff  sat down on the bed, a thankfully fairly unfazed Sebastian in his arms. The squirt was staring up at him with recognition, and he could have sworn there was a hint of a smile.

He felt the gas pass through his little body and knew it had been too good to be true, but he didn't care. He then heard Sophie’s soft sobbing and turned to see her sitting beside him, her head in Annie’s lap. Ruffles jumped onto the bed and nuzzled against her, and Annie pet Sophie’s hair.

“I know you’re sorry, and it’s okay. Just please don’t do it again.”

“It’s okay, munchkin. We know you love your baby brother.”

Now nodding and sniffling, Sophie said, _“I love him so much, Daddy.”_

“You used to be this little too, you know. Why, I think you were about this big when I met you.”

_“He’s not big, Daddy, he’s little. You just said.”_

“Sorry, you’re right. You were this little when I met you. You and Mommy were the best thing that ever happened to me. I love you so much.”

Now smiling, Sophie scuttled over and leaned into his side, staring at Sebastian, who was swatting at her and cooing. It was damn adorable, and Jeff once again felt his chest swelling. He exchanged loving looks with Annie.

“Hey, you said once you’d like a football team of munchkins.”

“No, _you_ said that when I said I wanted another baby.”

He smiled as he looked back down at Sebastian and said, “You said you wanted _babies_ , Annie. I was merely saying I was up for it, and judging by how great these two turned out, I say we go for it.”

There was an eerie silence, and he glanced up to see her smiling tightly, her eyes wide.

“Did I say something wrong?”

She squeaked, “No.”

“Annie.”

“I’m fine.”

“Hey, I didn’t mean right this second, obviously. I just meant…”

\--”Jeff, I can’t talk about this right now. I have to attend to the roast.”

He reached over and grabbed her hand, ignoring Sophie's giggles as Ruffles licked her feet, and said, “Hey, let’s talk about this.”

Now flushing, she sputtered, “I just can’t even think of that right now. He’s so much _work_ , you have no idea. And what makes it even worse is the boredom. I was about to lose it before I found Mrs. Clementine…”

\--”I thought she was the one who stopped by?”

“No, Jeff, I needed to do something. I was about to smash the television and I needed to feel like _myself_ again.”

_Why do you want to hit the tv, Mommy? Maybe Sebastian and me can watch Frozen? Abed gave me the movie.”_

Jeff thought now was not the best time to wonder about Abed likely giving Sophie a bootleg copy of a still-in-the-theatres successful movie and squeezed Annie’s hand in an attempt at reassurance.

“I’m sorry I read this wrong. I didn’t realize you were so stressed. You just seem so put together.”

He was somewhat saddened yet strangely relieved when she flung herself on her back and pulled a pillow to her face.

 _“We love you, Mommy._ ”

“Yes, we love you, Mommy.”

There was a coo.

And then a mumbled, “I love all of you too.”

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
